powerful our perceptions are on our
lives you know the way we perceive the
world the way we perceive others and
ourselves and even how we perceive
concepts that we’ve been taught directly
influenced the way we live you see we
live in this very external world right
so it’s easy to think that life happens
out here but we’re beginning to realize
that a lot of life is rooted at our own
psychology our perceptions dictate our
reality and they are powerful enough to
destroy or create now before I get into
the meat potatoes up at all what do I
mean by this so for example why is it
that we perceive heartbreak is something
that’s so horrendous or why do we
perceive having an expensive car as
being successful will go something like
this so first we have a situation and
this is what’s happening before eyes
it’s real life facts this situations and
travels through what I call our filter
which is what our mind has created based
off of our feelings emotions what we’ve
been taught and how we’ve allowed our
past to shape our beliefs and values
this filter then shoots out of the
perception of the situation which is our
minds own interpretation of what’s going
on so it’s very personalized that’s very
imagined and this perception then
dictates how we choose to act in
response to what’s going on and as we
know our actions affect the entirety of
our life now our perceptions are not
formed on their own over many years
there’s this cumulative effect where our
brains merge activity patterns from old
memories to activity patterns from new
experiences to create a more enforced
perception on a matter so it takes a
long time and a lot of stimulus to
enforce your perception but once it is
enforced it becomes what i like to call
our natural state of mind and it
referred to as a natural state of
because it’s this way of thinking that
just becomes first nature to us it’s
like a light bulb obviously um it just
turns on it does its thing so once our
minds in this natural state they still
have an incredible influence on the way
we act so it’s kind of like driving a
car you know when you first learn you’re
like this poor guy right here you’re
like what am i doing you have the gas
you have the pedal the windshield wipers
are going when you actually want your
blinkers to be going thank God for big
your mom is bracing the seat next to you
that’s what my mom did but after a while
you don’t even think about it anymore I
mean that’s the goal anyway hopefully
y’all think about anymore so when our
mind is in this natural state our
thoughts still have a very influential
impact on our actions but we’re very
unaware of its influence our perceptions
have such a big impact on who we are but
this is where it gets real personal they
also have an impact on who we are
internally the way we perceive the world
the way we perceive others and concepts
like heartbreak and sex success that I
met mentioned become so engraved in us
that becomes a piece of who we are now
it’s important to know that perceptions
are not a bad thing at all perceptions
help us figure out what’s important to
us they help us become the person that
we want to be but it’s interesting
because from an evolutionary perspective
we are innately wired to perceive in a
way that will protect us so that we can
stay alive right but I’ve begin to
notice that we don’t run from wild
animals as much anymore and so
oftentimes our perceptions don’t protect
us as much oftentimes they end up
limiting us so we naturally synonymous
failure with inferior or maybe imperfect
will do a lot of us do we live a life
held in the back seat where it’s
comfortable living to avoid failing or
how do you feel when you make one of
these bad boys at work or school or
let’s be honest anywhere not very good
right because mistakes are commonly
known as a weakness right you know so we
live a life maybe not fully
trying because of the fear of making a
mistake or how many of you like feeling
like this my personal favorite not even
a little bit ah fears a warning sign you
know your heart rate starts to go a
little bit fast your butterflies in your
stomach fly all over the place if you’re
like me backstage you start shaking a
little bit you know fear is a threat
it’s foreign and so we live a life try
your best to avoid feeling it and as a
result we might hold back in the way we
live because we don’t want to confront
fear and like I said the longer you
perceive things in a certain way it
becomes a piece of who you are to the
point where maybe you hold back in the
way you work in the way we grow and the
way we love which is why it’s important
to challenge how we see things to create
direction for our lives after all I did
say our perceptions can I have to
destroy or create so I’ve been exploring
this idea for a little bit now and so
naturally I see everywhere I go and even
in researchers and icons one in
particular who I’m very fond of brené
Brown how many of you have heard her TED
talk the power vulnerabilities she was
like yeah girl check it out it’s a very
good talk and in this talk she says that
her personal and professional life took
a complete turn when she realized that
the way we naturally see vulnerability
has been a little bit wrong she says
that even she hates feeling vulnerable
and being vulnerable I mean like who
does like being vulnerable but she
realized that after six years of intense
research the way to live a life of
wholeheartedness which is a goal I think
a lot of a share is actually through
vulnerability which completely went
against her original perception that
vulnerability is something that can just
stay over there and we don’t actually
have to feel it you know she mentions
that vulnerability yes is the core of
shame discomfort and our struggle for
worthiness but it’s also the birthplace
of joy and creativity and love and she
mentions that even though vulnerability
pushed at her and she tried her very
hard as to push back
and prove it wrong embracing it seeing
in a different light helped her win her
life back now as for me I am no brené
Brown unfortunately i am not an expert
or researcher on this but the reason why
this topic is so near and dear to me is
because I lived it I personally
experienced the tremendous impact my
perceptions had on my life and my
identity I changed my thoughts and it
changed my life so if you ask few people
who know me what kind of person I am
they’ll probably throw words that you
like vivacious or passionate or
energetic you know I lived my whole life
with a desire to inspire people to leave
lasting change on people’s lives but a
few years ago I began to experience a
very rude awakening of the world around
me and that melody began to change I
fell into the hardest depression of my
life and I isolated myself from
everything and everyone that was once
important to me and this cumulative
effect I had mentioned earlier had such
a tight hold on me the more isolated
myself the more I became someone and
believed myself to be someone who was
quiet timid and afraid and with every
misdirected thought I was reinforcing
these twisted interpretations of myself
into my identity things that were once
first nature to me like talking to
another human became a raging whirlpool
of fear and anxiety living like this
became my new natural state of mind but
I didn’t know it you know I didn’t you
don’t know your perceptions you don’t
know how you see things I didn’t know
that I saw the world as a lost cause you
know I didn’t I didn’t know that I
perceived other people to be hurtful and
greedy I didn’t know that I perceived
things like challenges and fears and
stress and worries as a weight that was
pushing me further
to a whole I was in I didn’t even know
that I perceived myself to be sad or
incompetent honestly unfixable when
you’re in a place like that you only
know one thing this is who I am and
that’s just how it is and even as as I
was emerging from that depression that
perception of myself followed me that is
the power our thoughts have on our lives
they become your identity without you
even realizing it as I was healing I
picked up a book called your comfort
zone is killing you by Billy Anderson if
you’re into all the self growth stuff
this one’s for you it profoundly changed
the way how I thought things worked you
know Billy Anderson he said that well
fear is something that a lot of us don’t
want to feel we avoid feeling it’s
actually something that’s very very good
beer and his eyes is an opportunity to
practice being courageous and to become
a better you so rather than proceeding
fear is something that you want to avoid
you should perceive it as opportunity
now it’s important to know that this was
not some sudden life-changing epiphany
for me by any means and then initially I
thought it was a little bit ridiculous
like okay Billy let me get right on that
right yeah I know but it did disrupt me
pun intended it did poke the bear a
little bit and it got me thinking okay
um is it like possible to see things in
a different light like could that help
me even as I was healing from this
depression i stayed living in this dim
box I couldn’t see myself to be anything
but what I wired myself to be I realized
you know I didn’t know it now but I
realized when I look back now that what
I gave power to had complete power over
as I was emerging from my depression I
couldn’t see myself to be wired anything
than what I wired myself to be but if
the mind is powerful enough to enforce
perceptions that completely rewired my
identity into a state of fear sadness
and isolation what’s stopping it from
being able to do the exact opposite
rewire your identity into a state of
self-love and purpose and passion you
know it’s a completely different way of
living when you see the world not as a
lost cause so that’s a place that needs
new solutions or I see myself not as
unfixable but as experiencing something
that will help me one day help others go
through similar struggles you know maybe
failure is actually a virtue an
indicator that you’re learning you know
maybe mistakes are is actually indicated
that you’re one step closer to figuring
out and maybe fear as Billy Edison so
cleverly said opportunity but it’s hard
to see things like this in a new light
because it’s been engraved in us for so
long that that is just how it is and
what we give power to has power over us
you know not one bone in my body thinks
that changing or even challenging
perceptions is easy now I didn’t just
wake up one morning and think all right
all my fear is equal opportunity all my
mistakes equal learning get at me life
ha it doesn’t just work like that this
which doesn’t flip like that like I said
it takes years but I think there’s a
problem with how a lot of us choose to
live a lot of us don’t think to
challenge how we see things you know we
share our shoulders and walk through
life thinking that’s just how it is and
as a result we except maybe a mediocre
life as it is or we accept a hurting
world as it is because that’s just how
it is right but believing that’s just
how it is it’s so threatening to the
growth of not only ourselves but
humanity
believing that’s just how it is is
giving into a state of mind that keeps
us static being the same way living the
same way and yet wondering why we feel
stuck so I’ll leave you with this when
it comes to how impactful our thoughts
are on their actions in our lives the
research is compelling now you know I
know it you know it we all know it so
why do we know so much but apply so
little maybe it’s because we just don’t
care or maybe it’s because when we think
of challenging something and confronting
something as impactful as our own mind
we stopped because we’re afraid of what
we’ll find or maybe changing the way you
see something after seeing it a certain
way for so long means that we might have
to admit that we were wrong but no
matter what it is challenging these
qualities in life allows us to unleash
the ability to rewire our instincts you
know it’s not just about thinking
positively now it’s about taking
ownership for your life it’s about
creating purpose for our life it’s about
making direction for our life ladies and
gentlemen we’ve heard it all before you
know a good life a great life happens
not by chance but by choice and today we
get the choice to give our perceptions the power to destroy or create thank you