there is no greater skill that can be
acquired or constantly worked at that
has a bigger impact in our personal and
professional life than the ability to
build instant rapport with others
whether they be an acquaintance customer
co-worker or total stranger everyone you
come in contact with has an invisible
sign above their head that reads make me
feel important studies constantly show
that the happiest people are the ones
with the most meaningful relationships
yet developing relationships and
building rapport is not taught anywhere
and too often we can be guilty of
treating others we come in contact with
as a transaction or as a private
audience to up them update them about
our day and what’s happening totally
missing an opportunity to make a
connection that could potentially enrich
both lives as a result of being in the
midst of the touchscreen era we have
significantly less face-to-face
interactions and our people skills are
eroding however nothing will ever
replace looking directly in someone
else’s eyes and making a meaningful
connection how many of you agree with
the following statement people don’t
listen with the intent of understanding
they listen with the intent of replying
yeah scientists studied the human brain
and found that it took at a minimum of
zero
point six seconds to formulate a
response to something said to it then
they studied hundreds of conversations
and found the average gap between people
talking with 0.2 seconds
how can people be responding in 1/3 the
time the human brain will allow
obviously people have their responses
ready long before the other person is
done talking and it’s human nature for
us to be preoccupied and consume what’s
happening in our world however if we
want to make a connection our goal must
be on having the other person leave
feeling better for having interacted
with us by putting the majority of the
focus on them when we’re not anxious to
tell our story and we could be present
with someone that’s when the magic
happens Jim Rohn once said the greatest
gift you can give anyone is the gift of
your attention so by a show of hands how
many people in here feel that you’re
pretty good at building rapport with
others alright now here’s the thing just
because you know someone’s name or you
recognize their face doesn’t mean you’ve
built a rapport here’s how you prove
you’ve built a rapport after having a
conversation with someone you have to
know two or more things of their Ford F
oh our D family are they married do they
have kids how old are their kids
occupation what do they do for a living
recreation what’s their hobbies what do
they do for fun well they do with their
downtime and dreams what’s their
long-term goals what’s on their bucket
list if you note or more facts of
someone’s Ford you know
we have a relationship you own the
relationship because to each of us our
Ford is the most important thing it’s
what it’s our hot buttons it’s what we
get excited about when we are asked
about it’s what we’re passionate about
and when you can use four techniques to
keep the conversation on someone else
that’s when the power really happens so
the best thing to do is is create a
daily habit a system of collecting and
retrieving Ford that could be a notepad
that you carry your iPhone contacts that
you update an app or a database on your
computer now many of our clients that
have call centers use a four desk pad
now however in that environment we don’t
want the customer service reps to be
asking callers their Ford that would be
like a stalker checklist but you don’t
have to because so often people over
share someone calls in and says I need
to reschedule my three o’clock on
Wednesday because my daughter’s soccer
team made it to districts too often
customer the customer service rep
responds with how about Thursday at 4:00
ducking and bobbing and weaving from
great Ford being thrown at us because
she’s too task-focused
versus capturing that forward when the
client comes in at four o’clock on
Thursday saying how did your daughter’s
soccer team do and the client responding
surprisingly how did you know forgetting
that she ever even told us have you ever
bought a new car so excited because
you’ve never seen that model in that
you see a bunch now that all these other
people have the same ideas you today and
buy that car and that color no the
difference is your mind is now primed to
see what’s always been there and that’s
what good for techniques do they help us
here and notice things we otherwise
wouldn’t have when my oldest son Johnny
went off to college he called me he said
dad Ford is the greatest thing ever I
was shocked
he’s never listened to anything I’ve
ever told him and then he goes on to say
it is amazing way to meet girls glad I
could help when my boys and I travel we
play the Ford game who could find out
the most personal information of
strangers because it’s important I want
to make sure that I am teaching them to
focus on other people and not be talking
about this themselves but it’s hilarious
my three boys are drilling the port uber
driver all right or the waitress or the
bellman but it’s also amazing what we
can find out in such a short amount of
time and best of all how they light up
because someone is showing interest in
them everyone has a story to tell if we
just take the time and ask when you’re
able to be genuinely interested in
others with the goal of building a
relationship and not trying to get
anything else out of them the friendship
always becomes the greatest reward and I
have found the best way to build
long-term sustainable relationships is
to give more I’ve tried to build my
life’s purpose around these two words
see we live in a very cynical society
today and the deal is our agreement says
that you’re gonna do a B and C and I’m
supposed to do XY and Z but too often we
wait we don’t trust we make sure the
other person says does what they say and
then we do what we are supposed to do
what I try to teach myself remind myself
teach my staff and teach my three boys
is do XY and Z first and throw in W even
though W wasn’t part of the deal give
them more than a deal said give them
more than the other person expect that
means if you borrow your neighbors
pickup truck to move furniture give them
that truck back cleaner and with more
gas than how they gave it to you I
invite you to build more meaningful
relationships by focusing on other
people’s Ford in finding ways to give more in all your relationships thank you
acquired or constantly worked at that
has a bigger impact in our personal and
professional life than the ability to
build instant rapport with others
whether they be an acquaintance customer
co-worker or total stranger everyone you
come in contact with has an invisible
sign above their head that reads make me
feel important studies constantly show
that the happiest people are the ones
with the most meaningful relationships
yet developing relationships and
building rapport is not taught anywhere
and too often we can be guilty of
treating others we come in contact with
as a transaction or as a private
audience to up them update them about
our day and what’s happening totally
missing an opportunity to make a
connection that could potentially enrich
both lives as a result of being in the
midst of the touchscreen era we have
significantly less face-to-face
interactions and our people skills are
eroding however nothing will ever
replace looking directly in someone
else’s eyes and making a meaningful
connection how many of you agree with
the following statement people don’t
listen with the intent of understanding
they listen with the intent of replying
yeah scientists studied the human brain
and found that it took at a minimum of
zero
point six seconds to formulate a
response to something said to it then
they studied hundreds of conversations
and found the average gap between people
talking with 0.2 seconds
how can people be responding in 1/3 the
time the human brain will allow
obviously people have their responses
ready long before the other person is
done talking and it’s human nature for
us to be preoccupied and consume what’s
happening in our world however if we
want to make a connection our goal must
be on having the other person leave
feeling better for having interacted
with us by putting the majority of the
focus on them when we’re not anxious to
tell our story and we could be present
with someone that’s when the magic
happens Jim Rohn once said the greatest
gift you can give anyone is the gift of
your attention so by a show of hands how
many people in here feel that you’re
pretty good at building rapport with
others alright now here’s the thing just
because you know someone’s name or you
recognize their face doesn’t mean you’ve
built a rapport here’s how you prove
you’ve built a rapport after having a
conversation with someone you have to
know two or more things of their Ford F
oh our D family are they married do they
have kids how old are their kids
occupation what do they do for a living
recreation what’s their hobbies what do
they do for fun well they do with their
downtime and dreams what’s their
long-term goals what’s on their bucket
list if you note or more facts of
someone’s Ford you know
we have a relationship you own the
relationship because to each of us our
Ford is the most important thing it’s
what it’s our hot buttons it’s what we
get excited about when we are asked
about it’s what we’re passionate about
and when you can use four techniques to
keep the conversation on someone else
that’s when the power really happens so
the best thing to do is is create a
daily habit a system of collecting and
retrieving Ford that could be a notepad
that you carry your iPhone contacts that
you update an app or a database on your
computer now many of our clients that
have call centers use a four desk pad
now however in that environment we don’t
want the customer service reps to be
asking callers their Ford that would be
like a stalker checklist but you don’t
have to because so often people over
share someone calls in and says I need
to reschedule my three o’clock on
Wednesday because my daughter’s soccer
team made it to districts too often
customer the customer service rep
responds with how about Thursday at 4:00
ducking and bobbing and weaving from
great Ford being thrown at us because
she’s too task-focused
versus capturing that forward when the
client comes in at four o’clock on
Thursday saying how did your daughter’s
soccer team do and the client responding
surprisingly how did you know forgetting
that she ever even told us have you ever
bought a new car so excited because
you’ve never seen that model in that
you see a bunch now that all these other
people have the same ideas you today and
buy that car and that color no the
difference is your mind is now primed to
see what’s always been there and that’s
what good for techniques do they help us
here and notice things we otherwise
wouldn’t have when my oldest son Johnny
went off to college he called me he said
dad Ford is the greatest thing ever I
was shocked
he’s never listened to anything I’ve
ever told him and then he goes on to say
it is amazing way to meet girls glad I
could help when my boys and I travel we
play the Ford game who could find out
the most personal information of
strangers because it’s important I want
to make sure that I am teaching them to
focus on other people and not be talking
about this themselves but it’s hilarious
my three boys are drilling the port uber
driver all right or the waitress or the
bellman but it’s also amazing what we
can find out in such a short amount of
time and best of all how they light up
because someone is showing interest in
them everyone has a story to tell if we
just take the time and ask when you’re
able to be genuinely interested in
others with the goal of building a
relationship and not trying to get
anything else out of them the friendship
always becomes the greatest reward and I
have found the best way to build
long-term sustainable relationships is
to give more I’ve tried to build my
life’s purpose around these two words
see we live in a very cynical society
today and the deal is our agreement says
that you’re gonna do a B and C and I’m
supposed to do XY and Z but too often we
wait we don’t trust we make sure the
other person says does what they say and
then we do what we are supposed to do
what I try to teach myself remind myself
teach my staff and teach my three boys
is do XY and Z first and throw in W even
though W wasn’t part of the deal give
them more than a deal said give them
more than the other person expect that
means if you borrow your neighbors
pickup truck to move furniture give them
that truck back cleaner and with more
gas than how they gave it to you I
invite you to build more meaningful
relationships by focusing on other
people’s Ford in finding ways to give more in all your relationships thank you
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