watchmojo.com welcome John Hastings
that’s me internationally famous
comedian latest general I know what
you’re thinking you’re thinking John
it’s the business of show what’s all cut
out to be it is it’s one of the greatest
jobs you could ever have but you do not
make a ton of money at my stage so what
you got to do is you got to go out and
get a day job and that’s what I’ve done
ladies and gentlemen I am a professional
dog walker what is a dog walker well you
work for a rich people who are so so
rich that they can pay someone to do
something that every other family in the
world will gladly do for free walk a
beautiful puppy through the wilderness I
walk a pug I don’t know if you know what
a pug is but they were a tiny dog
they’re called a toy dog which I always
thought was funny and they can’t breathe
God her mother nature has created an
animal that every once in a while loses
the ability to take oxygen into his body
so it goes that is it’s catching up
there like the animal representation of
that old grizzled lady barfly you see at
a bar it’s one of your favorite places
you go in you leave your credit card
after a night of boozing you come in and
there she is sitting at the bar smoking
a cigarette Oh out of a tracheotomy
ringing her throat asking if you want to
see her without her wig on and says
about you and ginger ale honey you look
like my grandson and you go home and you
cry that’s what a pug is here’s another
thing when you’re walking a dog through
a rich neighborhood which I do it’s
beautiful full of parks and love rich
people come up to you they give you
advice because rich people have so much
money a certain point they literally
have run out of things to do so I’m
walking through with the pug I have it
sit at an intersection I go sit I look
at it in the eyes that’s important later
and then suddenly a lady dressed
head-to-toe in lululemon fifty dollar
bills shooting out of her pockets runs
up to me it says listen listen listen
you cannot make eye contact with the dog
he will think he’s the leader of the
pack the Pug weighs 10
if that pug gets out of control in any
way I’m just going to pick it up and put
it under a chair it won’t know where
just put it under the sink maybe feed it
some bleep there you’re dead who wins
John Hastings tape these lessons and go
my pretty babies for the internet and
for watchmojo.com I of course have been
John Hastings who let the dogs out who
let them out I want to know
that’s me internationally famous
comedian latest general I know what
you’re thinking you’re thinking John
it’s the business of show what’s all cut
out to be it is it’s one of the greatest
jobs you could ever have but you do not
make a ton of money at my stage so what
you got to do is you got to go out and
get a day job and that’s what I’ve done
ladies and gentlemen I am a professional
dog walker what is a dog walker well you
work for a rich people who are so so
rich that they can pay someone to do
something that every other family in the
world will gladly do for free walk a
beautiful puppy through the wilderness I
walk a pug I don’t know if you know what
a pug is but they were a tiny dog
they’re called a toy dog which I always
thought was funny and they can’t breathe
God her mother nature has created an
animal that every once in a while loses
the ability to take oxygen into his body
so it goes that is it’s catching up
there like the animal representation of
that old grizzled lady barfly you see at
a bar it’s one of your favorite places
you go in you leave your credit card
after a night of boozing you come in and
there she is sitting at the bar smoking
a cigarette Oh out of a tracheotomy
ringing her throat asking if you want to
see her without her wig on and says
about you and ginger ale honey you look
like my grandson and you go home and you
cry that’s what a pug is here’s another
thing when you’re walking a dog through
a rich neighborhood which I do it’s
beautiful full of parks and love rich
people come up to you they give you
advice because rich people have so much
money a certain point they literally
have run out of things to do so I’m
walking through with the pug I have it
sit at an intersection I go sit I look
at it in the eyes that’s important later
and then suddenly a lady dressed
head-to-toe in lululemon fifty dollar
bills shooting out of her pockets runs
up to me it says listen listen listen
you cannot make eye contact with the dog
he will think he’s the leader of the
pack the Pug weighs 10
if that pug gets out of control in any
way I’m just going to pick it up and put
it under a chair it won’t know where
just put it under the sink maybe feed it
some bleep there you’re dead who wins
John Hastings tape these lessons and go
my pretty babies for the internet and
for watchmojo.com I of course have been
John Hastings who let the dogs out who
let them out I want to know
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