maya angelou an american poet memoirs
and civil rights activists once said
there is no greater agony than bearing
it an adult story inside you so here is
mine I’m a 20 years old I’m a 20 years
old girl who is lost in this big old
crowd there is the world I’m different
get the same I see and think things
differently because I feel everything so
deeply but as many of you as many of you
life had made me go through tough
experiences which made me become a
better me but I still feel like a mess
like I’m incomplete I was naive too
sensitive and shy person with no
self-confidence as a tour of cards hard
to build yet easy to crash but I still
feel like a mess a mess that is torn
between the four quadrants of our brain
analytical creative organized and
sensitive I’m analytical so I always
overthink everything sometimes even the
silliest things I’m organized or at
least I’m trying to be in fact sorry
sorry in fact I enjoy having everything
perfectly planned in advance and I’m
creative well seeking creativity through
drawings singing rapping dancing and
writing and last but not least I am
sensitive it is certain that i have long
battled with this quadrant in my life
and I did by going through the five
stages that we go through in every
situation first denial then anger fear
depression and finally x
septons but I finally come to the point
where I’ve mastered it it’s neither a
quality nor a flaw it’s a part of who I
am with all of this it may seem that I
have everything figured out but I could
have been more wrong and more lost than
I already a.m. see when you have a brain
like mine that overthinks everything
over and over again and the lives and
everything creating answers for my
unanswerable questions and feeling
literally everything you inevitably end
up finding yourself lost nevertheless I
have came to a point where I don’t want
to live as we’re supposed to be in our
little comfort zone when you need to
study to get a good job and gain money
and have a family of your own no I want
to be more than that I want to make a
change I want to make this world a
better place and what a better way to
start to make a change then by getting
real about our topic that has badly been
characterized for a long time by the
whole society this latter is depression
many people linked it to Stannis but
it’s in fact a major depressive disorder
and I first thought of giving you the
whole definition of a major depressive
disorder but it’s something that anyone
can find on the internet so instead I’m
going to put you on the shoes of a
depressed person and showing you how
depression messes up your mind from the
moment you open your eyes to the moment
you go to bed let’s take as an example a
college student so as many of us can
relate it’s Monday you’re tired you will
complete for class and you’re still
at a slow motion but that’s only the
surface you got deep inside depression
is whispering in your ears look at you
really this is the best you could do
today you’re such a lost case and now
you’re really wearing this you look so
fat in that outfit and don’t get me
started with your hair looks like you’ve
been held hostage in a cave but then you
manage to go to class but depression
never stops it’s like a service working
for 24 hours for seven days it’s
shouting look at these people see how
their social funny and happy with their
lives not in near what you are why do
you even bother to go to class anyways
you’re stupid slatka it’s not like you
will achieve anything in your life your
existence means nothing but then you’re
in class you can’t follow anything there
is a war going on in your head and it
just doesn’t seem to end but it’s not
just in class it’s not just in class or
in your room when you’re alone it’s
everywhere wherever you go it’s
following you like your shadow at night
constantly reminding you that you’re
worthless hopeless and helpless days
passes we expensive than months so you
start to lose appetite or gain depending
on how you feel you lose based on how on
the things and activities used to love
you lose motivation to do anything you
lose hope but the biggest challenge is
that you know that the voices inside
your head are not really it’s not
but you know but you know that the
voices inside your head are not real but
maybe they’re so persuasive and or then
again so persistent that you start to
believe that more and more as time goes
by till it becomes your truth in your
head and as if this all of this wasn’t
hard and horrible enough you still need
to deal with the fact that depression is
stigmatized by the whole society which
leaves you unable to talk and open up
about it about your illness yes an
illness depression is a disorder that
affects you mentally and physically and
it’s not like when you have the flu or a
stomachache you just you know you just
don’t can heal from it quickly and
there’s no quick cure for it but that’s
not the only problem the thing that gets
on my nerves is that societies have
built up a little box around depression
a box of shame deny and rejection shame
because you shouldn’t be depressed in
the first place as if you could control
it as if you could end it whenever you
want it as if it just if it was just a
fail and deny because you’re not
depressed you’re just stressed or tired
and rejection because you’re not fun to
be around you’re always you always look
sad and you do not fit in the criteria
of society you’re just a weirdo but if
you still can’t get my point let me give
you an example you’re with your
supposedly friends and here she looks at
you and say come on cheer up you’re fine
and you reply with a smile but inside
it’s a big fake smile because you want
to cry you want to shout but it just it
just feel like you’re you take an
eternity to explain yourself so you just
reply within and saying yeah yeah I’m
just tired it’s okay but you can’t
understand how people can get the way
you are so it’s killing you slowly
inside and slowly killing you inside
because you want to get this all out of
your head but you can’t and and
depression is depression is still in
control and it’s whispering are you
crazy do you want to tell people about
your problems you’re lonely and boring
go kill yourself already it will give us
all a break yes my speech may be harsh
but we need to get real about depression
because if we do not break the hush
depression will keep on taking more in
more lives every year but for those of
you who know who’s a friend who’s
depressed but don’t know how to act
don’t worry you don’t have to prepare a
speech for it you just need to say the
following five words I am here for you
and mean them and then just let them
come to you and explain themselves and
for those of you hard feeling depressed
listen to my words carefully I have been
there and I know how it feels but you
need to stand and fight because this is
not the last chapter of your life this
is not the end because you’re better
than this because you’re strong and
worthy of a happy life because you are enough thank