welcome to watchmojo.com I am
internationally famous but fiscally
irresponsible comedian John Hastings
ladies and gentlemen let’s talk about
the economy earlier this year I actually
late last year the economy went belly-up
more belly-up than a dolphin on the
beach more belly-up than a fat man after
an all you can eat burrito contest yes
that’s right our economy resembles a
sheet with Sony stab holes in it you
would think hey who tried to kill me
while I was asleep well there’s
something we need to stop doing we need
to stop blaming everything on the
economy not everything is the economy’s
fault yes you can blame the economy when
your restaurant is not full on a
Saturday night but if your girlfriend
works up with you because you slept with
her sister guess what that’s not the
economy’s fault if the bus is late it’s
not the economy’s fault that’s the bus
driver he’s a douche he’s probably
checking the stock prices going shit but
back to the economy we need to
understand something ladies and
gentlemen we need to understand who
caused the economy it was caused by the
worst group of diabolical minds this
world has ever known you know who I’m
talking about I’m talking about old
white people old what people cause the
President of the United States you know
you love him Bill Clinton to admit he
got a blow job outside of his marriage
and say that getting blowjobs was wrong
and this is just one guy these guys took
the entire financial system wipe their
butts with it and threw it in the toilet
and we want to solve it in just a couple
of days but just giving money here and
giving money there ladies and gentlemen
the problem with it is this we are
making too much money why don’t we try
this what does it everyone get a dollar
a day if you used to have 50 bazillion
dollars one dollar then we take
everyone’s money we put it in a big pile
and we say look at all this money in the
entire world go holy shit take on all
this money we gotta listen to them and
we don’t let them come and visit for
five years and in that five years that
dollar a day well that takes out some of
the weaker in the pack you know who I’m
talking about I’m talking about the old
white people so once they’re dead and
buried we’ll have a utopian society
it’ll be great i’ll bring cupcakes see
you there for the internet I am John
Hastings
internationally famous but fiscally
irresponsible comedian John Hastings
ladies and gentlemen let’s talk about
the economy earlier this year I actually
late last year the economy went belly-up
more belly-up than a dolphin on the
beach more belly-up than a fat man after
an all you can eat burrito contest yes
that’s right our economy resembles a
sheet with Sony stab holes in it you
would think hey who tried to kill me
while I was asleep well there’s
something we need to stop doing we need
to stop blaming everything on the
economy not everything is the economy’s
fault yes you can blame the economy when
your restaurant is not full on a
Saturday night but if your girlfriend
works up with you because you slept with
her sister guess what that’s not the
economy’s fault if the bus is late it’s
not the economy’s fault that’s the bus
driver he’s a douche he’s probably
checking the stock prices going shit but
back to the economy we need to
understand something ladies and
gentlemen we need to understand who
caused the economy it was caused by the
worst group of diabolical minds this
world has ever known you know who I’m
talking about I’m talking about old
white people old what people cause the
President of the United States you know
you love him Bill Clinton to admit he
got a blow job outside of his marriage
and say that getting blowjobs was wrong
and this is just one guy these guys took
the entire financial system wipe their
butts with it and threw it in the toilet
and we want to solve it in just a couple
of days but just giving money here and
giving money there ladies and gentlemen
the problem with it is this we are
making too much money why don’t we try
this what does it everyone get a dollar
a day if you used to have 50 bazillion
dollars one dollar then we take
everyone’s money we put it in a big pile
and we say look at all this money in the
entire world go holy shit take on all
this money we gotta listen to them and
we don’t let them come and visit for
five years and in that five years that
dollar a day well that takes out some of
the weaker in the pack you know who I’m
talking about I’m talking about the old
white people so once they’re dead and
buried we’ll have a utopian society
it’ll be great i’ll bring cupcakes see
you there for the internet I am John
Hastings
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