familiar territory for me and I’m you
know not at all surprised they invited
me and I wanted to I wanted a stool I
asked a long time ago for a stool could
I get a stool jeez thank you
well for now yeah we’ll see think that
would have been easy but at whatever so
here I am talent doesn’t mean anything
if you’re a jerk okay was I a jerk
yes a little bit of a jerk have I worked
with those people yes do I work with
them again
no and that’s one of the lessons that I
try to teach theater school kids the
kids who come here
I don’t wander into the adult world very
often because I don’t seem to fit there
very well but I’m here today so we’ll
hope that works out to tell you some
things that we think are important in
theater and they have nothing to do with
acting they have everything to do with
life and life lessons and some of them
you might go well that was common sense
but I think as we get older we forget we
forget some of those things and I think
sometimes we forget to teach our young
people some of these things and one of
them is talent doesn’t mean anything if
you’re a jerk I have worked with some
people who you have seen on this stage
who are amazing not local people all the
local people are not jerks they’re great
but once in a while you’ll run across
one and you’ll just be like that person
is gonna work a lot of places because
they are so talented but they’re gonna
work a lot of places one time and that’s
usually what happens especially in the
live theatre world is that we are a
small community and so we will start to
spread the word somebody will call me
from Ohio and say hey you’ve worked with
such-and-such and
yes I did didn’t you could have that
person this summer because I don’t need
that person so if you don’t remember
anything from what I say in the next
seven minutes or whatever I have left
please remember talent doesn’t mean
anything if you’re a jerk
and I try to send kids out into the real
world to have real jobs
hopefully not actors because we all know
especially recently from a car company
that shall remain nameless and I shall
never buy a car from actors they’re not
real people right Chevy tells us that so
there you go
real people not actors I send these
people out into the world to be great
citizens and we have I always tease him
I’m always like okay that’s one of my 52
lessons so any of my students who are
watching and I know there’s at least one
the only thing you’re gonna learn in the
next few minutes is that yes sometimes I
wear makeup that’s it now all the rest
of this is not going to be no to you so
one time I was I was uh having notes we
have notes after we rehearse a show and
we talk about what went well and what
didn’t go well and one girl asked if she
could go to the bathroom and absolutely
because I yeah I wouldn’t you let
someone go to the bathroom um that would
be a jerk if you didn’t and we talked
while she was gone and I said to them
you know you need to sit up close sit up
close because that tells people you care
and that goes and then I always tried to
tell them you know when you get in the
real world that matters or you go to
school that matters sit up close it
looks like you care I don’t care if your
friends tell you you’re a brown-noser so
what you’re gonna get the better grade
sit up close so that you can pay
attention and anyway we talked about
that and the girl came back from the
bathroom right as I was saying and that
was lesson number 52 when she said did I
miss the other 51 like I said them all
while she was in the bathroom
and another funny part of that is one
girl just kept scooting up farther on
her chair she thought I’d meant like sit
on the edge of your chair but you should
do both sit up here thank you thank you
brave souls for sitting up up front I
always do it because otherwise I don’t
listen so we already covered this
don’t forget not real people the guy who
brought my stool out probably not Union
or that stool would have been here we
say this all the time right and I tell
the kids all the time tell your parents
leave their phones at home leave him in
your pocket shut them off because we
miss things you need to be present be
present I went to Rome in in November
and I came back all kinds of pictures
and when I came back people said what
was your favorite part and I said oh the
forum the forum was my favorite part and
I went back and I looked and I noticed I
took no pictures there but that’s the
thing I remembered so there are many
reasons we say no videotaping or
photography a lot of them have to do
with copyright laws but for you as a
person
I’m telling you remember it right here
remember it in your heart because it’s
always going to be better then it when
you watch that tape which you probably
won’t watch so that’s a life lesson for
you that I’m passing on to your children
another one is okay duh if you’re not
ten minutes early you’re late how do you
deal with that how do you deal with that
if it’s not your fault you have to learn
who those people are
that’s what I tell the kids if your
parents are those people you you have to
kind of lie to them about when something
I’m telling you now you’re wondering why
doesn’t she had the really cool slides
back here why she had construction paper
that she wrote with a marker
well there was a deadline and I called
and said well I know I’m past the
deadline but just by a day well okay
that was the deadline you can’t keep
moving the deadline any deadline that’s
another life lesson if if it’s due the
15th it’s not due the 16th
you can’t call and say can I turn it in
on the 16th because the deadline was the
15th how can that work in the real world
please please do not enable people if
you are in charge of deadlines be harsh
deadlines are deadlines otherwise you’re
gonna end up standing in front of a
if you make a mistake on stage in life
anything you’re still gonna have your
birthday it’s still gonna come around
relish your birthday we need to teach
our children to be resilient it’s very
important that you don’t always win and
failures sometimes has a better lesson
and that it’s okay that you’re you can
cry for a few minutes you can cry for a
day but then you have to get up the next
morning and you have to go out and you
have to be a better person or a
different person or just realize it
wasn’t didn’t have anything to do with
you personally why you didn’t get what
you got but you didn’t get you’re still
gonna have your birthday we really need
to let kids know I have some kids they
miss an entrance and they just fall
apart
and I have to tell them you’re gonna
learn more from that than you would from
second most importantly this is two
words and when my kids graduate from
theater school they know that talent
doesn’t mean anything if you’re a jerk
and a lot is two words I learned that
the hard way in college and my new one
this year is anyways is not a word at
all
anyways so anyways thank you for
inviting me and I hope that if you want
to learn more life lessons you will come
to me but please remember there’s
nothing else don’t be a jerk
thank you okay this is a cheer I never even used it