when I was a little girl all I wanted
the only thing that I wanted was to be
just like everybody else I wanted to
talk like them and I wanted to look like
them I didn’t want to be different and I
didn’t want to be unique
instead I stuck out like a sore thumb I
was an outsider in a society that wasn’t
very welcoming to outsiders on my first
day of Arabic school I didn’t speak
Arabic and I wore a miniskirt with my
hijab as you can imagine that didn’t go
over very well nobody wanted to talk to
that weird foreign girl who had come
from Uganda with her family with only
seven dollars that my dad had hidden in
his shoes I decided to change that I
learned how not only to become part of
the tribe but to lead it too I learned
how to build a brand without knowing
what a brand was my brand was smart I
was the only one who spoke English and
so I did all the cool kids homework and
help them cheat on exams my brand was
rebellious I got into trouble with the
teachers doing the things that all the
other kids wouldn’t dare do which meant
that on most days I had stinging palms
from my headmaster stick but I gained
their respect my brand was successful I
got married at 17 to someone from one of
the most prominent families in our
country we had 2,000 guests at our
wedding and among our many wedding
then things changed what what was
successful for me became not successful
because we moved to Canada and in moving
to Canada was once again an outsider I
didn’t have any credibility and I didn’t
have a tribe to belong to and I didn’t
have much confidence in myself and my
children were growing so fast and before
my eyes and becoming Canadian in a
society that I wasn’t sure I knew how to
contribute to and so in my search for
looking for something to do for myself I
found art school now when I was a little
girl my mother I would I would draw
trace pictures and photographs and my
mother would frame them and put them up
on the wall and tell me what a good
artist I was I believed her
thanks mom try tracing anything in art
school you learn humility really fast so
I learned in art school that I did not
know how to draw I also discovered this
department called visual communication
and in VC they taught branding and
marketing and advertising and design and
I fell headfirst in love I loved how you
could take something anything like me
ordinary make it unique and make it
different and make it stand out and make
it wanted and coveted even I loved how
you could create a tribe and a following
brands are amazing things brands give us
identity you can be an outlaw on a
Harley or you can be a creative thinker
with your Mac or you can be an athlete
with your Nikes brands give us status
all we need to do is flash our red soles
Louboutins and we stand a little taller
with confidence brands give us belonging
research tells us that a sense of
belonging is as much a human need as
food shelter and water and that a low
sense of belonging is one of the
number-one indicators of depression
so brands are these amazing things that
help us sort through a powerful array of
choices to the one that feels
like us brands are the art of persuasion
and I loved absolutely everything about
it and it wasn’t just me our collective
love of brands started generations ago
with world war ii when the market was
flooded with identical products that
massive factories churned out and in
order to make us love and pay more for
these products industrialists needed to
give them something more and so they
gave them human qualities that way they
could become our friends not just stuff
that’s how this brown sugar water became
happiness and this brown sugar water
became forever young and how this rubber
became the protector and this rubber
became sexy they what advertisers did
was they created this ideal world that
we all wanted to belong to the people in
commercials had white teeth long legs
and problems that could be solved in 30
seconds by the hero product you want
more prosperity you want more happiness
you want you want better health smoke
our brand of cigarettes so that’s how my
love affair with brands started and
before long I started my own agency we
did amazing work I had an incredible
team and we became the number one
hottest agency in the city and we won
the most awards I went from being the
outsider to the ultimate insider I
dictated what was cool I convinced
people to buy what I wanted them to buy
and eat what I wanted them to eat and go
where I wanted them to go and and what
what happened with that we also we also
had an incredible website that said we
build genuine and authentic brands on
our website we told people what great
work we did and we did we did absolutely
fantastic work and it was all absolute
complete horseshit
brands are one thing and one thing only
a product that somebody is selling to
you it is not genuine it is not
authentic it is not your friend
it is there to make money period and
whether you can afford it or not you
want it research has told us that we do
not create perfect lives by buying
brands in fact two things happen first
when we buy something our level of
happiness starts to decrease the minute
we pay for it and have it in our hands
second somebody in advertising tells us
that the goal posts have now moved and
we now need to buy the new model in
order to be happy
and that is the problem the problem is
our big search and eternal search for
happiness that is what brands have given
us brands have given us brands have
given us the perfect ticket to happiness
all you need to do is put down your
credit card and pay and we have fallen
so hard for brands that we now try to
brand ourselves and you try and
manufacture character and personality
personal brands are as big as product
brands today and according to trend one
personal brands became a global macro
trend in 2016 what we do is we create
images of ourselves that appear perfect
to the outside world so what we don’t
realize is that as we build these
personal brands we are we are failing
ourselves I know that because I had one
too I had a personal brand that was
pretty successful my personal brand had
everything that a good brand should have
a value proposition a target audience
and a key selling idea my personal brand
was seductive iowa’s entrepreneur of the
year top 40 under 40 in one of Canada’s
100 most powerful women my brand was
fortunate I got to travel the world
and and teach people how to build their
own personal brands my brand was also
not very truthful because I only showed
you what I wanted you to see so when I
was going through a divorce after 23
years of marriage that brought me to my
knees this is what I posted on social
media when I was buying out my business
partner
with money that I didn’t have this is
what everybody saw and when my city was
devastated by a recession that was worse
than any that we had ever seen this is
what I posted on social media we all
create images of ourselves that appear
perfect to the outside world sometimes
to our inside world we are no longer
building our characters we are telling
our stories we are now on public display
and it’s causing us incredible distress
a hundred and twenty-one million people
around the world suffer from depression
some form of depression one in 13 of us
suffer from anxiety those are big
numbers and I haven’t even started
talking about debt debt is at one
hundred and fifty two trillion dollars
globally and what do we do with all this
stuff that we buy and we put on our
credit cards according to the Self
Storage Association of America Americans
spend twenty four billion dollars a year
storing their stuff think about that for
a minute
think about that what we do is we in
debt ourselves to buy so much stuff that
we now need to pay to put it away we
cannot buy enough stuff get enough
surgery or Drive expensive enough cars
to keep up with the Kardashian
and when we can’t keep up we try and
numb our feelings of shame and fear and
uncertainty with something new and shiny
what we don’t realize is when we numb
the bad feelings we also have none of
the good feelings of love joy connection
and gratitude what we don’t realize is
that the real world does not look like
an ad the real world is a vulnerable
imperfect place full of rejection and
what we are doing with our lot with our
culture of branded perfection
is hollowing us out as human beings so
you know where this is going for me
right this perfect little branded world
that I had created for myself was no
longer one that I wanted to live in I
stopped liking what I did and I looked
everywhere but at my business to fill
the holes in the only question on my
mind was what was I gonna tell everybody
and that is what we do we brand manage
ourselves into personas and then we are
lost when we realize that we are not the
adventure that we thought we were in
fact we are really really really scared
so Christmas rolls around and my kids
are with their dad my parents are away
and my friends are all busy with my
friends are all busy with their their
own families and I’m feeling pretty
sorry for myself it’s just me and my
little dog kale and so I did what I did
when I was a little girl and I decided
to change that only this time I took the
tool that I used when I build a brand
when I look at a product to understand
it enough to build this brand I took
that tool and I applied it to myself
it’s called the creative brief in the
creative brief when we build a brand is
the marching orders to the creative team
if you will it’s the Bible for them to
understand this product in order to sell
it so what we do is we look at what it
does why it exists why it’s there
what’s it what’s its purpose who’s its
target audience what does it look like
on the shelf we
look at the product and the world around
it and it’s competition and that’s what
I did I pulled out a giant post-it note
paper pad i papered my walls with my
very own creative brief and i wrote down
everything that i needed to know about
myself so I have to explain to you how
difficult this was for me I know exactly
what I want I go after it with
determination I make up my mind pretty
fast and please get out of my way that’s
always been my attitude and so this was
pretty difficult and yet I agonized over
every word every emotion every setback
every barrier in my way I forced myself
to be honest about my shortcomings and I
wrote down my fears and my hopes and my
dreams and my desires and I climbed over
a brick wall after a brick wall peeling
away years and layers of childhood
insecurities cultural hang-ups toxic
people and a whole bunch of anger I
wrote a plan to help me survive the next
five minutes in the next 20 years and
what started emerging was really messy
and very cluttered have I mentioned how
severe my OCD is this is not what my
however after weeks of work I finally
emerged and I was still standing only
more vulnerable less demanding less
perfect more carefree more me and a
feeling of calm washed over me I
realized that I don’t need to throw away
everything that I own that was really
exciting
it is not brands that are bad
it was my connection and to brands that
needed to be rewired I realized that the
person that I am
today is the same person that got me
here it is not all bad
don’t throw any any of it away I found
pride in where I came from instead of
finding shame and I looked inside myself
for the confidence that I needed and
most importantly I realized that I we
are not meant to have it all let me say
that again we are not meant to have it
all happiness is not an eternal state of
being it is a fleeting emotion just like
any other emotion
don’t let the ads lie to you we are
meant to be sad at times we are meant to
be unhappy at times we are meant to be
lonely at times we are not meant to be
fulfilled at all times
we are supposed to make mistakes and bad
decisions we are supposed to feel
uncertainty and fear because it is those
things and those things only that teach
us to be strong and courageous and brave
and confident and when we do experience
feelings of love joy gratitude happiness
and connection then we appreciate them
more and we are more grateful for them
and we cherish them that much more so
have I found all my answers some but I
don’t think that I’m supposed to however
I do know this my brand has finally
found a place of belonging only to
realize that it was there all along thank you for your time