oh you shouldn’t have you really
shouldn’t have Mele Kalikimaka is the
thing to say on a bright Hawaiian
Christmas day welcome to watchmojo.com
and today we’ll be counting down our
picks for the top ten worst Christmas
songs for today’s list we’ll be looking
at the Christmas songs that make you
wonder if once a year is just a little
too often while Christmas songs in
general are a mixed bag to say the least
we will be looking at particular
recordings rather than just the songs in
general which I assume that they had
somebody
[Music]
number ten I’m getting nuttin for
Christmas reliant K
dating back to 1955 nuttin for Christmas
is a weak member of the Christmas canon
at the best of times the song has been a
good fit for child singers like Shirley
Temple an oddly saucy vehicle for
full-grown adults like Eartha Kitt and
was a buffoon Ashley goofy track when
Smash Mouth teamed up with Rosie
O’Donnell but then this happened rely on
Kay’s take on the track is all over the
place from its ill-fitting faux punk
attitude to the thankfully brief polka
segments stranger still the song ends
with someone rambling about the polar
ice caps melting an upsetting Santa
which thankfully is quickly shot down
[Applause]
number nine Mele Kalikimaka she and him
[Music]
most versions of this Hawaiian flavored
classic tend to be upbeat and bouncy not
so this time around something like is
being played back on a turntable with a
bad belt or Walkman with dying batteries
she and hims take on Mele Kalikimaka
borders on mournful the steel guitar is
a good idea in theory but it sounds more
haunting than festive and some drums
wouldn’t go unnoticed
although the quick guitar solo is very
much on point
[Music]
however aside from The Andrews Sisters
style harmonies the vocals are fairly
lifeless and with the instrument solo in
the mix one wonders why they didn’t just
go a cappella and be done with it
number eight funky funky Christmas New
Kids on the Block Christmas music is a
lucrative market do it right and you’re
set for life so you can’t blame a
Wahlberg for trying credited to Donny
and Marie star funky funky Christmas
doesn’t really live up to its funky
funky title the bassline has potential
but beyond that there’s very little funk
to be found the drum sounds suspiciously
Casio while Santa sounds a bit like a
guy from Boston with a mouthful of
dinner rolls neither of which are
terribly funky additionally aside from
our preconceived notions of what funk is
and isn’t New Kids on the Block never
really established what constitutes a
funky funky Christmas or how exactly one
can funk of their holidays
[Music]
number seven spin me a Christmas aqua
[Music]
it’s really hard to know exactly what
aqua wants us to take from all this a
thick slice of the Bands over-the-top
gyro pops made me a Christmas doesn’t
really have many of the seasonal
trappings with its make plastic snow
stabs on Hollywood ideals and the
commercial side of the holidays it
sounds like an attack on the phone eNOS
of the modern Christmas
[Music]
but it’s hard to tell do they hate the
phone eNOS do they love the faux dienes
or do they just love and hate that
everyone else loves and hates the phone
eNOS do they not like Wham
and why didn’t they key out the green
screen from the igloo is for yay these
questions are far too complex when
you’re starry-eyed and full of eggnog
[Music]
number six the Christmas shoes new song
oh there’s so much to unpack here let’s
ignore that somehow this song led to a
novella that led to a TV movie that
hopefully led to Rob Lowe profiting
handsomely
let’s also ignore the overly dramatic
key change the awful piezo acoustic
guitar and the addition of The
Children’s Choir
[Music]
this boy’s mother is potentially hours
from death why is he buying her shoes
are these shoes in heaven are these
shoes dying – no these shoes
the boy explains the shoes er so that
his mother can look good for Jesus but
Jesus didn’t even wear shoes
he died barefoot and lived an entire
life without having ever seen shoes
that’s just Ruth especially on his
birthday the narrator then suggests that
all of this was so that he could relearn
the true meaning of Christmas which
would mean God put this young boy and
his mother through a life of misery just
to teach a Dan he’ll wanna be a lesson
in charity
number five murder City Christmas insane
clown posse and twisted well unlike some
Christmas songs it is funky but it’s
also troubled painting a world where
Santa does PCP and snow comes with a
straw murder City Christmas is not
exactly a hallmark picture of the
holidays MAGIX describes himself as a
recreational serial killer longing to
turn pro while Shaggy 2 dope is busy
calling in New Year’s Eve bomb threats
were still monoxide child is out to kill
some and violent Jay is
under the mistaken belief that Rudolph
is some sort of low-level pimp and not a
red-nosed reindeer the narrative is also
inconsistent with Santa who have roughly
switches from PCP to crack and from
being mugged the Trading VCRs for
marijuana but fortunately the track is
fairly rare at least in its physical
form as Eve only copies pressed were
given away to audience members at a 2005
concert
number 4x Tina’s Xmas Christina Aguilera
[Music]
it may be a prodding pointless bit of
hip hop it may even be the result of
someone getting a synth and sampler for
Christmas and it’s possible it exists
only to grab some songwriting royalties
on an album filled with cover tracks but
consider this at least it’s short and
she’s not wrong it is Christmas time
[Music]
number three Christmas tree Lady gaga
sapling deck the halls’ and little
drummer boy and backed with a rhythm
that’ll have you sticking your chest out
in time Lady Gaga’s Christmas tree may
not be what it seems picking up on Jimmy
Butler’s Christmas tree as a lady garden
metaphor the presented evidence seems to
suggest it’s not Christmas cheer Gaga’s
spreading at all
with her tree taken to be her baby hatch
coupled with her request to be on top
her nude associates desire to be under
said tree and her repeated claims that
her tree is delicious
all signs suggest it’s not Santa’s lap
miss Germanotta intends to sit on well
that in Gaga herself has suggested that
Christmas is the horniest of the
holidays number two drummer boy Justin
Bieber and bust arrives coming from
Bieber’s star pact billboard topping
under the mistletoe album drummer boy
ultimately amounts to a lame cover of an
already lame song featuring a snare drum
that sounds like a pan of Jiffy Pop
Biebs has trouble sticking to the songs
fairly limited melody and sings in a way
that seems to anticipate auto-tune
[Music]
lyrically things don’t fare much better
while it’s already a terrible idea to
play drums for an infant it’s unlikely
the baby Jesus or as Aramaic speaking
parents would be all that impressed with
Bieber’s totally dope rhymes and
twentieth-century references further
more standing figuratively before the
baby Jesus JV shows no humility but is
instead surprised at the book of Justin
didn’t make it into the Bible before we
unwrap our top pick here are a few
honorable mentions
[Music]
[Music]
number one wonderful christmastime Paul
McCartney routinely named as one of the
worst songs ever written by anyone
Beatle or otherwise wonderful
christmastime splits the room from the
first note featuring McCartney alone
kneeling on a sequential circuits five
profit synthesizer the track actually
hit number six in the UK when it was
released but barely charted at all in
the United States and missed the
Billboard Hot 100 completely the
textbook example of post Beatle
criticism towards McCartney wonderful
christmas time is vapid ly uninspired
monotonous and repetitive but yet it
gets covered and despite being a
Christmas favorite of virtually no one
the track not only gets consistent
seasonal airplay but also reportedly
earns maka a cool $400,000 in royalties
every year it’s simply a baffling
Christmas to
so do you agree with our list what’s the
worst Christmas song you’ve ever heard
for more you logging top 10s published
every day be sure to subscribe to
watchmojo.com
[Music]
shouldn’t have Mele Kalikimaka is the
thing to say on a bright Hawaiian
Christmas day welcome to watchmojo.com
and today we’ll be counting down our
picks for the top ten worst Christmas
songs for today’s list we’ll be looking
at the Christmas songs that make you
wonder if once a year is just a little
too often while Christmas songs in
general are a mixed bag to say the least
we will be looking at particular
recordings rather than just the songs in
general which I assume that they had
somebody
[Music]
number ten I’m getting nuttin for
Christmas reliant K
dating back to 1955 nuttin for Christmas
is a weak member of the Christmas canon
at the best of times the song has been a
good fit for child singers like Shirley
Temple an oddly saucy vehicle for
full-grown adults like Eartha Kitt and
was a buffoon Ashley goofy track when
Smash Mouth teamed up with Rosie
O’Donnell but then this happened rely on
Kay’s take on the track is all over the
place from its ill-fitting faux punk
attitude to the thankfully brief polka
segments stranger still the song ends
with someone rambling about the polar
ice caps melting an upsetting Santa
which thankfully is quickly shot down
[Applause]
number nine Mele Kalikimaka she and him
[Music]
most versions of this Hawaiian flavored
classic tend to be upbeat and bouncy not
so this time around something like is
being played back on a turntable with a
bad belt or Walkman with dying batteries
she and hims take on Mele Kalikimaka
borders on mournful the steel guitar is
a good idea in theory but it sounds more
haunting than festive and some drums
wouldn’t go unnoticed
although the quick guitar solo is very
much on point
[Music]
however aside from The Andrews Sisters
style harmonies the vocals are fairly
lifeless and with the instrument solo in
the mix one wonders why they didn’t just
go a cappella and be done with it
number eight funky funky Christmas New
Kids on the Block Christmas music is a
lucrative market do it right and you’re
set for life so you can’t blame a
Wahlberg for trying credited to Donny
and Marie star funky funky Christmas
doesn’t really live up to its funky
funky title the bassline has potential
but beyond that there’s very little funk
to be found the drum sounds suspiciously
Casio while Santa sounds a bit like a
guy from Boston with a mouthful of
dinner rolls neither of which are
terribly funky additionally aside from
our preconceived notions of what funk is
and isn’t New Kids on the Block never
really established what constitutes a
funky funky Christmas or how exactly one
can funk of their holidays
[Music]
number seven spin me a Christmas aqua
[Music]
it’s really hard to know exactly what
aqua wants us to take from all this a
thick slice of the Bands over-the-top
gyro pops made me a Christmas doesn’t
really have many of the seasonal
trappings with its make plastic snow
stabs on Hollywood ideals and the
commercial side of the holidays it
sounds like an attack on the phone eNOS
of the modern Christmas
[Music]
but it’s hard to tell do they hate the
phone eNOS do they love the faux dienes
or do they just love and hate that
everyone else loves and hates the phone
eNOS do they not like Wham
and why didn’t they key out the green
screen from the igloo is for yay these
questions are far too complex when
you’re starry-eyed and full of eggnog
[Music]
number six the Christmas shoes new song
oh there’s so much to unpack here let’s
ignore that somehow this song led to a
novella that led to a TV movie that
hopefully led to Rob Lowe profiting
handsomely
let’s also ignore the overly dramatic
key change the awful piezo acoustic
guitar and the addition of The
Children’s Choir
[Music]
this boy’s mother is potentially hours
from death why is he buying her shoes
are these shoes in heaven are these
shoes dying – no these shoes
the boy explains the shoes er so that
his mother can look good for Jesus but
Jesus didn’t even wear shoes
he died barefoot and lived an entire
life without having ever seen shoes
that’s just Ruth especially on his
birthday the narrator then suggests that
all of this was so that he could relearn
the true meaning of Christmas which
would mean God put this young boy and
his mother through a life of misery just
to teach a Dan he’ll wanna be a lesson
in charity
number five murder City Christmas insane
clown posse and twisted well unlike some
Christmas songs it is funky but it’s
also troubled painting a world where
Santa does PCP and snow comes with a
straw murder City Christmas is not
exactly a hallmark picture of the
holidays MAGIX describes himself as a
recreational serial killer longing to
turn pro while Shaggy 2 dope is busy
calling in New Year’s Eve bomb threats
were still monoxide child is out to kill
some and violent Jay is
under the mistaken belief that Rudolph
is some sort of low-level pimp and not a
red-nosed reindeer the narrative is also
inconsistent with Santa who have roughly
switches from PCP to crack and from
being mugged the Trading VCRs for
marijuana but fortunately the track is
fairly rare at least in its physical
form as Eve only copies pressed were
given away to audience members at a 2005
concert
number 4x Tina’s Xmas Christina Aguilera
[Music]
it may be a prodding pointless bit of
hip hop it may even be the result of
someone getting a synth and sampler for
Christmas and it’s possible it exists
only to grab some songwriting royalties
on an album filled with cover tracks but
consider this at least it’s short and
she’s not wrong it is Christmas time
[Music]
number three Christmas tree Lady gaga
sapling deck the halls’ and little
drummer boy and backed with a rhythm
that’ll have you sticking your chest out
in time Lady Gaga’s Christmas tree may
not be what it seems picking up on Jimmy
Butler’s Christmas tree as a lady garden
metaphor the presented evidence seems to
suggest it’s not Christmas cheer Gaga’s
spreading at all
with her tree taken to be her baby hatch
coupled with her request to be on top
her nude associates desire to be under
said tree and her repeated claims that
her tree is delicious
all signs suggest it’s not Santa’s lap
miss Germanotta intends to sit on well
that in Gaga herself has suggested that
Christmas is the horniest of the
holidays number two drummer boy Justin
Bieber and bust arrives coming from
Bieber’s star pact billboard topping
under the mistletoe album drummer boy
ultimately amounts to a lame cover of an
already lame song featuring a snare drum
that sounds like a pan of Jiffy Pop
Biebs has trouble sticking to the songs
fairly limited melody and sings in a way
that seems to anticipate auto-tune
[Music]
lyrically things don’t fare much better
while it’s already a terrible idea to
play drums for an infant it’s unlikely
the baby Jesus or as Aramaic speaking
parents would be all that impressed with
Bieber’s totally dope rhymes and
twentieth-century references further
more standing figuratively before the
baby Jesus JV shows no humility but is
instead surprised at the book of Justin
didn’t make it into the Bible before we
unwrap our top pick here are a few
honorable mentions
[Music]
[Music]
number one wonderful christmastime Paul
McCartney routinely named as one of the
worst songs ever written by anyone
Beatle or otherwise wonderful
christmastime splits the room from the
first note featuring McCartney alone
kneeling on a sequential circuits five
profit synthesizer the track actually
hit number six in the UK when it was
released but barely charted at all in
the United States and missed the
Billboard Hot 100 completely the
textbook example of post Beatle
criticism towards McCartney wonderful
christmas time is vapid ly uninspired
monotonous and repetitive but yet it
gets covered and despite being a
Christmas favorite of virtually no one
the track not only gets consistent
seasonal airplay but also reportedly
earns maka a cool $400,000 in royalties
every year it’s simply a baffling
Christmas to
so do you agree with our list what’s the
worst Christmas song you’ve ever heard
for more you logging top 10s published
every day be sure to subscribe to
watchmojo.com
[Music]
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