these are the ironic realities of so
many modern-day Millennials welcome to
watchmojo.com and today we’re counting
down our picks for the top ten signs
that you’re a hipster the drink you just
ask for doesn’t exist no it does like
you can order it at Starbucks am i
wearing a green apron doing here ray
lamontagne playing right now for this
list we’ll be looking at behaviors
preferences tendencies interests and so
forth
that signal that you just made be a
hipster yeah I’ll meet you at the
abandoned warehouse tonight it’s just
one of the entries on our list make you
a hipster no but when viewed as a whole
you may notice a shocking truth for the
record this is not meant to offend or to
be taken seriously it’s all in good fun
I was reading Catcher in the Rye and I
realized like I am holding Caulfield can
I borrow a dollar number ten you
frequent independent local coffee houses
welcome thank you for coming to the
meeting of baristas and coffee shop
workers throughout the city we hereby
begin a manifesto against customers and
management hipsters love them some
coffee and they despise you and your
99-cent brew from the gas station yeah
this is Malaysian bat guano coffee it’s
extremely rare this bean was shot out of
a bats asshole
they will openly express concern for
your Java selections at the local indie
coffee shop also known as the hipsters
gym where they can flex their
intellectual muscles by spouting the
latest theories all the while keeping an
eye on the coffee enthusiasts that come
and go from their favorite spot dude
behind the counters got a tight t-shirt
in a ponytail ease of use and then
and I was like hey can I get a
cappuccino he’s like yeah right on
generally like the independent coffee
house allows for a super relaxing break
from reality but sadly many hipsters
only fuel their anxieties at the coffee
shop making them all the more likely to
voice their grievances elsewhere
whatever go ahead look like everybody
else and every other coffee shop apron
boy number nine you live in a hipster
centric town
yes Portland Oregon was deemed to be the
most hip by Movado calm Brooklyn
Minneapolis Austin Portland these cities
represent the trail of the millennial
hipster exchange in the u.s. at least
one of your hipster friends made the
professional move to one of the big four
do you want to donate to my organic
vegetable garden get mainstreamer but
even if he or she absolutely loves his
or her new hipster friendly City you’ve
probably heard him or her mention a
possible relocation depending on which
city now seems to be the most trendy
among hipsters who by the way totally
don’t pay attention to that stuff let’s
watch them now and then natural habitat
oh I wonder if they have a vegan menu
for the serious hipster Brooklyn
represents a rite of passage but who
knows where the next hot spot will be
Hopkins Minnesota Chattanooga Tennessee
Moose Jaw it’s really laid-back really
really cool place to hang out everybody
just kind of likes the vibe number eight
you have a strong interest in handmade
independent and craft things I will not
sell a single piece of firewood until it
is absolutely ready I don’t care how
long that takes
regardless of a hipsters maturity level
it’s always important to establish one’s
independence by expressing intense
devotion to at least one specific art
form and preferably many artisanally
crafted toilet paper
and pulped and hand perforated the way
toilet paper used to be some hipsters
have long supported their favorite indie
band
others need some time to fully
transition into the person that never
shuts up about everything handmade
whether it’s at the local coffee house
or perhaps the latest local microbrewery
where you’ll be forced into some day
drinking while learning about every band
that will be playing within walking
distance that week
we come right
number seven you collect records and
other antiquities I am getting very
stressed out though the head of our
school does not know about noise these
are the people teaching our kids oh you
download mp3s and listen to Spotify Oh
while it’s not yet possible to
physically time travel
don’t tell a hipster that so piece of
crap doesn’t work why because he or she
somehow knows everything about the vinyl
age due to endless hours of roaming
about record stores and posturing as if
we were back in those days it’s like I
don’t even know Arcade Fire anymore and
not at a time when it’s socially
acceptable to mumble and stare at your
phone while in conversation with another
human being the hipster always has at
least one vintage accessory on hand
usually a camera and while it may be
digital it still has the feel and the
look of something from the past
number six you own a fixed-gear bike or
a unicycle working all right you go
right go right go on a fight on a bike
I’m gonna buy in a turn gonna tell me my
job bike bike bike bike if you’re a
modern day hipster you’re likely living
in a hipster neighborhood riding to and
fro on some type of fixed-gear bicycle
to cruise around town do you bike for
exercise no of course you don’t bike for
car do you bike to promote your personal
brand and the whole package you got
going on and if you’re really on top of
your game then you own yourself a
unicycle
which obviously draws attention and
further strengthens the identity you
crave alright I get this whole way be
rule or against a lot mp8 birds there’s
a little bikes number five you wear
thick horn-rimmed glasses that’s how you
turn aerial into hipster Ariel
here’s another essential component of
the hipster branding package a pair of
large black specks that allow for
versatility in conversation even if you
don’t actually need them you just rock
massive horn rimmed specs because of the
intellectual vibe and because they make
you more interesting – whether you’ve
got them propped down low on your nose
or if you’re someone that likes to stick
your nose in the air during a tense
verbal battle on some ridiculously
subjective topic they just provide a
little extra Flair and somehow bring
more weight to your words as adult
education is a wonderful thing you meet
a lot of interesting professors you know
it’s stimulating number four you can’t
speak honestly without sarcastic humor
oh guy he’s cool are you being sarcastic
dude I don’t even know anymore now this
is what you call a paradox a seemingly
gentle hipster individual that exudes a
quiet rage with masked sarcastic humor
despite knowing that you’re in the
actual presence of a hipster it still
might take the basic individual a few
seconds just to process that you’re
actually being patronized or at the
receiving end of a passive-aggressive
tongue lashing omona I like your outfit
affordable the sarcastic hipster is one
that likes to remind of his or her
affinity for sarcasm as if we didn’t
already know
of it yet they still think it’s cute and
quirky and not at all predictable and
boring actually I’ve come around on
hipsters takes a lot of guts to all wear
the same head number three you have a
beard mustache or longish hair all right
a lot of hair there don’t you think we
are saying hipster all right at this
very moment one of you is in the process
of growing out a sprawling beard but
it’s not for warmth on the high seas
it’s because you think it looks cool
because it makes you look like yes a
classic hipster you just don’t see buzz
cut it and baby-faced hipsters aside
from the glasses in the hats number one
beards mustaches there’s no matter what
style hipster 101 instead hipsters favor
a pairing of long messy tresses with an
aggressive patch of facial hair groomed
oh so carefully into that just woke up
and couldn’t care less about their
appearance look it’s an irony so deep
even the ironic are not aware of just
how ironic it truly is ironically I love
to see what you look like without your
beard well I could stop hiding your real
cow number two you wear plaid shirts
tight jeans and ironic t-shirts
it’s the trifecta of absolute hipster
dumb flattop skinny jeans and that
clever tee that immediately makes a bold
statement about your intellectual
prowess I actually just finished a
lengthy dissertation on this exact topic
just last night how do you bang out
these topical discourses so quickly
Oliver it is impressive if you’ve
actually squeezed your body into a pair
of skinny jeans regardless of your
actual size or shape then you have
hipster tendencies it’s like I wish
there were more pants where you know
where there aren’t and if you’re already
known for wearing a plethora of plaid
tops well you’re either wearing the
uniform of hipsters or are a lumberjack
which is okay skews why are you wearing
skinny jeans because they’re hip it
doesn’t really matter if you go shopping
alone at the thrift shop either because
your physical presence in such a store
ads to your obvious hipster vibe no no
no I’m not a hipster at all
yeah you do seem to hate a lot of things
and the bottom of your pants are awful
tight you know I just I don’t like Los
Angeles that’s the it doesn’t make me a
hipster before we unveil our number one
pick here are some honorable mentions
these are all technically Oxford shoes
right here but thus broguing is the
style that’s on top of all of
you’re not a hipster no oh my god no out
we hope that we’re building equity in a
company that will be worth hopefully
more in the future
number one you hate the mainstream
Rage Against the Machine rage against it
that’s right you know about the Black
Keys and the white stripes before they
were staples of pop culture but now you
just despise them based mainly on the
fact that less informed individuals
invaded your musical space you’re also
just a little bit smarter than most when
it comes to the arts and living a
fruitful life in general and you’ve got
at least one issue that’s deeply
important to you right now but
unfortunately won’t be important enough
next year when life changes a bit and it
starts becoming the cool thing to do you
hate the mainstream but you still need
it if only to hate it but how can I be a
nonconformist and I’m still conforming
exactly do you agree with our list what
do you think defines a hipster look at
these peasants
I’ll make this into an ironic t-shirt
for more hip top 10s published every day
be sure to subscribe to watchmojo.com
great story man
many modern-day Millennials welcome to
watchmojo.com and today we’re counting
down our picks for the top ten signs
that you’re a hipster the drink you just
ask for doesn’t exist no it does like
you can order it at Starbucks am i
wearing a green apron doing here ray
lamontagne playing right now for this
list we’ll be looking at behaviors
preferences tendencies interests and so
forth
that signal that you just made be a
hipster yeah I’ll meet you at the
abandoned warehouse tonight it’s just
one of the entries on our list make you
a hipster no but when viewed as a whole
you may notice a shocking truth for the
record this is not meant to offend or to
be taken seriously it’s all in good fun
I was reading Catcher in the Rye and I
realized like I am holding Caulfield can
I borrow a dollar number ten you
frequent independent local coffee houses
welcome thank you for coming to the
meeting of baristas and coffee shop
workers throughout the city we hereby
begin a manifesto against customers and
management hipsters love them some
coffee and they despise you and your
99-cent brew from the gas station yeah
this is Malaysian bat guano coffee it’s
extremely rare this bean was shot out of
a bats asshole
they will openly express concern for
your Java selections at the local indie
coffee shop also known as the hipsters
gym where they can flex their
intellectual muscles by spouting the
latest theories all the while keeping an
eye on the coffee enthusiasts that come
and go from their favorite spot dude
behind the counters got a tight t-shirt
in a ponytail ease of use and then
and I was like hey can I get a
cappuccino he’s like yeah right on
generally like the independent coffee
house allows for a super relaxing break
from reality but sadly many hipsters
only fuel their anxieties at the coffee
shop making them all the more likely to
voice their grievances elsewhere
whatever go ahead look like everybody
else and every other coffee shop apron
boy number nine you live in a hipster
centric town
yes Portland Oregon was deemed to be the
most hip by Movado calm Brooklyn
Minneapolis Austin Portland these cities
represent the trail of the millennial
hipster exchange in the u.s. at least
one of your hipster friends made the
professional move to one of the big four
do you want to donate to my organic
vegetable garden get mainstreamer but
even if he or she absolutely loves his
or her new hipster friendly City you’ve
probably heard him or her mention a
possible relocation depending on which
city now seems to be the most trendy
among hipsters who by the way totally
don’t pay attention to that stuff let’s
watch them now and then natural habitat
oh I wonder if they have a vegan menu
for the serious hipster Brooklyn
represents a rite of passage but who
knows where the next hot spot will be
Hopkins Minnesota Chattanooga Tennessee
Moose Jaw it’s really laid-back really
really cool place to hang out everybody
just kind of likes the vibe number eight
you have a strong interest in handmade
independent and craft things I will not
sell a single piece of firewood until it
is absolutely ready I don’t care how
long that takes
regardless of a hipsters maturity level
it’s always important to establish one’s
independence by expressing intense
devotion to at least one specific art
form and preferably many artisanally
crafted toilet paper
and pulped and hand perforated the way
toilet paper used to be some hipsters
have long supported their favorite indie
band
others need some time to fully
transition into the person that never
shuts up about everything handmade
whether it’s at the local coffee house
or perhaps the latest local microbrewery
where you’ll be forced into some day
drinking while learning about every band
that will be playing within walking
distance that week
we come right
number seven you collect records and
other antiquities I am getting very
stressed out though the head of our
school does not know about noise these
are the people teaching our kids oh you
download mp3s and listen to Spotify Oh
while it’s not yet possible to
physically time travel
don’t tell a hipster that so piece of
crap doesn’t work why because he or she
somehow knows everything about the vinyl
age due to endless hours of roaming
about record stores and posturing as if
we were back in those days it’s like I
don’t even know Arcade Fire anymore and
not at a time when it’s socially
acceptable to mumble and stare at your
phone while in conversation with another
human being the hipster always has at
least one vintage accessory on hand
usually a camera and while it may be
digital it still has the feel and the
look of something from the past
number six you own a fixed-gear bike or
a unicycle working all right you go
right go right go on a fight on a bike
I’m gonna buy in a turn gonna tell me my
job bike bike bike bike if you’re a
modern day hipster you’re likely living
in a hipster neighborhood riding to and
fro on some type of fixed-gear bicycle
to cruise around town do you bike for
exercise no of course you don’t bike for
car do you bike to promote your personal
brand and the whole package you got
going on and if you’re really on top of
your game then you own yourself a
unicycle
which obviously draws attention and
further strengthens the identity you
crave alright I get this whole way be
rule or against a lot mp8 birds there’s
a little bikes number five you wear
thick horn-rimmed glasses that’s how you
turn aerial into hipster Ariel
here’s another essential component of
the hipster branding package a pair of
large black specks that allow for
versatility in conversation even if you
don’t actually need them you just rock
massive horn rimmed specs because of the
intellectual vibe and because they make
you more interesting – whether you’ve
got them propped down low on your nose
or if you’re someone that likes to stick
your nose in the air during a tense
verbal battle on some ridiculously
subjective topic they just provide a
little extra Flair and somehow bring
more weight to your words as adult
education is a wonderful thing you meet
a lot of interesting professors you know
it’s stimulating number four you can’t
speak honestly without sarcastic humor
oh guy he’s cool are you being sarcastic
dude I don’t even know anymore now this
is what you call a paradox a seemingly
gentle hipster individual that exudes a
quiet rage with masked sarcastic humor
despite knowing that you’re in the
actual presence of a hipster it still
might take the basic individual a few
seconds just to process that you’re
actually being patronized or at the
receiving end of a passive-aggressive
tongue lashing omona I like your outfit
affordable the sarcastic hipster is one
that likes to remind of his or her
affinity for sarcasm as if we didn’t
already know
of it yet they still think it’s cute and
quirky and not at all predictable and
boring actually I’ve come around on
hipsters takes a lot of guts to all wear
the same head number three you have a
beard mustache or longish hair all right
a lot of hair there don’t you think we
are saying hipster all right at this
very moment one of you is in the process
of growing out a sprawling beard but
it’s not for warmth on the high seas
it’s because you think it looks cool
because it makes you look like yes a
classic hipster you just don’t see buzz
cut it and baby-faced hipsters aside
from the glasses in the hats number one
beards mustaches there’s no matter what
style hipster 101 instead hipsters favor
a pairing of long messy tresses with an
aggressive patch of facial hair groomed
oh so carefully into that just woke up
and couldn’t care less about their
appearance look it’s an irony so deep
even the ironic are not aware of just
how ironic it truly is ironically I love
to see what you look like without your
beard well I could stop hiding your real
cow number two you wear plaid shirts
tight jeans and ironic t-shirts
it’s the trifecta of absolute hipster
dumb flattop skinny jeans and that
clever tee that immediately makes a bold
statement about your intellectual
prowess I actually just finished a
lengthy dissertation on this exact topic
just last night how do you bang out
these topical discourses so quickly
Oliver it is impressive if you’ve
actually squeezed your body into a pair
of skinny jeans regardless of your
actual size or shape then you have
hipster tendencies it’s like I wish
there were more pants where you know
where there aren’t and if you’re already
known for wearing a plethora of plaid
tops well you’re either wearing the
uniform of hipsters or are a lumberjack
which is okay skews why are you wearing
skinny jeans because they’re hip it
doesn’t really matter if you go shopping
alone at the thrift shop either because
your physical presence in such a store
ads to your obvious hipster vibe no no
no I’m not a hipster at all
yeah you do seem to hate a lot of things
and the bottom of your pants are awful
tight you know I just I don’t like Los
Angeles that’s the it doesn’t make me a
hipster before we unveil our number one
pick here are some honorable mentions
these are all technically Oxford shoes
right here but thus broguing is the
style that’s on top of all of
you’re not a hipster no oh my god no out
we hope that we’re building equity in a
company that will be worth hopefully
more in the future
number one you hate the mainstream
Rage Against the Machine rage against it
that’s right you know about the Black
Keys and the white stripes before they
were staples of pop culture but now you
just despise them based mainly on the
fact that less informed individuals
invaded your musical space you’re also
just a little bit smarter than most when
it comes to the arts and living a
fruitful life in general and you’ve got
at least one issue that’s deeply
important to you right now but
unfortunately won’t be important enough
next year when life changes a bit and it
starts becoming the cool thing to do you
hate the mainstream but you still need
it if only to hate it but how can I be a
nonconformist and I’m still conforming
exactly do you agree with our list what
do you think defines a hipster look at
these peasants
I’ll make this into an ironic t-shirt
for more hip top 10s published every day
be sure to subscribe to watchmojo.com
great story man
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