he’s crude he’s crass and has absolutely
no shame whatsoever welcome to
watchmojo.com and today we’re counting
down our picks for the top ten louis c.k
moments before we begin we published new
videos every day so be sure to subscribe
for more great content for this list
we’ve scoured this raunchy comedians
offbeat portfolio of work from his
stand-up performances to his television
series and everything in between and
have ranked the best moments based on
how unforgettably shocking and hilarious
they are would you like a hand job I’m
like yeah that sounds awesome
number 10 on the count of three Louie
go funny three two one
while Louie is considered a professional
comedian the act of standing in front of
hundreds of people with the intention of
making them collectively laugh is no
small feat heck sometimes trying to
tickle just one person’s funny bone is a
challenge especially when you’re on the
spot this is either a door or a wall for
me and it’s either the beginning of the
end I don’t know I please to land a gig
as a talk show host when we must prove
himself to be a funny person by
impressing an executive played by film
director David Lynch the scene plays out
awkwardly because Louie is absolutely
stumped about what to say he does come
up with something but it’s a strange
sentence that mixes both insults and
stupidity even so it somehow helps this
case you’re just a pencil
PMS prey
number nine why one night stand when I
have a child I will answer all of their
questions
and open their minds to the wonders of
the world children are wonderful
children are also exhausting why
well that one word is one of the main
reasons why Louie recounts an instance
with one of his daughters when she
repeatedly asked him why to discover the
many reasons why life and reality are
the way they are a kid never goes oh
thanks I get it it’s fantastic the
children are curious and want to learn
Louie hits the nail right on the head as
to why this process can become mundane
and infuriating pretty fast nobody knows
everything yet your child expects you to
placing you in a seemingly never-ending
conversation in this case it probably
leaves Louis questioning why he had kids
in the first place why because my
parents gave me no guidance they didn’t
give a shit why because they’ve been a
Corin had me and they resented me for
taking their youth number eight Louie
versus Dane Louie
you don’t really say 2006 it’s 2006 2006
is like saying the year 2000 and by the
way the number 6 it’s a lot of
competition in the world of stand-up
comedy and as you can imagine if one
comedian thinks another comedian has
stolen his material and tried to pass it
off as his own there will be some
animosity on both sides
Dane Cook was at one point a top
stand-up act but when the internet began
to slam him for taking Louie’s jokes it
tarnished his once prestigious image
that should have been like my triumph
and I enjoyed it Louis for maybe two
months well in an episode of Louie the
two comedians address this issue head-on
face to face and considering how touchy
the subject is with comedians it’s a
pretty ballsy scene plus we just love
seeing Dane and Louie interact fake
argument or not so for you to think that
you’re the only person who got an itchy
asshole in America I mean like that’s
that’s bullshit you should try a natural
laundry detergent what number seven jizz
antha puss live at the Beacon Theater I
hate little boys I’m like the opposite
of a pedophile I just hate
no that’s not a real word but it should
be added to the dictionary to describe
bratty children everywhere based on
Louie’s retelling of his immense hatred
for a six-year-old boy Louie’s rant
starts by summarizing how horribly
behaved Jews antha puss really is and
how his mom doesn’t even bother stopping
him true Louie fashion things take a
dark turn when he tells us what he’d do
to protect his daughter from this
nightmare child and his plan is quite
something as he puts it you got to
protect your kids and if the best way is
to confuse a bully’s father sexually
then so be it and I know your dad is he
ran out on you but I’m gonna find him
I’m gonna turn myself gay and then I’m
gonna come to number six art gallery
Louie no no I didn’t say Louie and
Pamela go out for a date and instead of
opting for the more traditional dinner
and a movie they go to a modern art
museum the experience is different to
say the least as they move through the
exhibit the pieces on display become
increasingly strange with an eerily
consistent theme relating to the human
body and vile subject matter
the look on Louie’s face as he walks
past giant dirty cotton swabs or grown
men in their underwear shows that he’s
as confused as we are but hey maybe we
just don’t get it
that’s called diarrhea this is diarrhea
number five the heckler Louie hi could
you stop talking as you’re making it
hard for me to do my job
one of the most infuriating things for a
stand-up comedian is a heckler here you
are trying to do your job when suddenly
some random jerk in the audience feels
compelled to talk over you or yell
something rude it brings the whole show
to a grinding halt but you better
believe the person on stage will not
back down
you don’t like right that’s really weird
because you know you wouldn’t even exist
if your mom hadn’t raped that homeless
Chinese guy this scene captures why it’s
an awful idea to try and one-up the
person holding the microphone a comedian
is trained to be witty and to create
brutal comebacks if necessary and Louie
lets them fly at the heckler showing how
quickly the tables can turn in a
situation like this
why you can sue me you know who I would
like to sue everybody that works in the
hospital that you were born at number
four everything’s amazing and nobody’s
happy Late Night with Conan O’Brien yeah
because everything is amazing right now
and nobody’s happy we live in the future
we have so many fascinating and useful
technologies to help us with just about
everything need to learn something
internet need to get in touch with
someone phone need to travel far away
planes trains and automobiles yet
despite all of these conveniences
humanity somehow still complains that
these amazing things aren’t amazing
enough this is what people like now they
got their phone oh it won’t get a second
on one of his appearances on late-night
Louie told Conan about a time when the
Wi-Fi went out on a flight the moral of
the story maybe we all need to rethink
how bad our first world problems we do
we are like how quickly the world owes
him something yes
he knew existed only ten seconds ago
number three
helicopter escape Louie okay I’m not
very good at dating every guy’s been
there sometimes you just have trouble
finding the words you need to charm the
ladies now that’s where Louie is in this
scene trying desperately to stitch
together some half-decent statement
that’ll hopefully win her over
why am I trying to impress you why don’t
you tell me about your goddamn life and
try to impress me however what’s even
more important than finding the right
words is finding the right time to move
in for a kiss
unfortunately Lily doesn’t go about this
in the most graceful way causing the
woman he’s with to panic and bolt and
she doesn’t just run she goes for the
kind of faraway escape that involves a
helicopter all righty then
[Music]
number two suck a bag of dicks
shameless what does he want me to do
does you want me to take a bag of dicks
and suck it like suck the side of the
bag we’ve all gotten mad and shouted
insults as a means of venting our rage
but of all the colorful curses available
to you has it ever crossed your mind to
tell someone to suck a bag of dicks he
was angry in just like a greeting it’s a
bizarre statement and it paints a weird
mental picture that Louie is more than
happy to describe for us
in fact he’s actually got a lot of
questions about what’s sucking a bag of
dicks means or even looks like in the
end it’s a phrase that perplexed Louie
to no end and paved the way for one of
his funniest bits ever wears it like a
paper bag and they’re sticking like
baguettes kind of like you went shopping
before we unveil our number one pick
here are some honorable mentions I don’t
think it’s killing a baby I don’t I mean
it is it’s a it’s a little bit it’s a
little bit killing a baby if he had been
raped by me he never would have pulled
any of that stuff man should we invade
Poland no just take a shower I don’t
feel like I can understand if gay people
were just running out in the streets
just people they ask willy-nilly just
like a pestilence like without asking
you know number one of course but maybe
oh my god it’s become a category in my
brain that I call of course but maybe no
human is perfect we all straddle the
line between positive and negative good
and bad but usually we keep our bad
thoughts inside because we like to
portray ourselves as good people I have
a nephew who has that I’d be devastated
if something happening but me
well Louie breaks down all those walls
and calls attention to the devil on his
shoulder exposing the dark side of the
human psyche in what is arguably his
most hilarious and blunt joke ever
hearing him speak in his usual
obscenities definitely brings the
chuckles but this bit is also
surprisingly thought-provoking about
human behavior and leaves us with
palpable food for thought maybe if you
get shot by the dude you were just
shooting at it’s a tiny bit your fault
do you agree with our picks check out
these other great clips from WatchMojo
and subscribe for new videos every day
no shame whatsoever welcome to
watchmojo.com and today we’re counting
down our picks for the top ten louis c.k
moments before we begin we published new
videos every day so be sure to subscribe
for more great content for this list
we’ve scoured this raunchy comedians
offbeat portfolio of work from his
stand-up performances to his television
series and everything in between and
have ranked the best moments based on
how unforgettably shocking and hilarious
they are would you like a hand job I’m
like yeah that sounds awesome
number 10 on the count of three Louie
go funny three two one
while Louie is considered a professional
comedian the act of standing in front of
hundreds of people with the intention of
making them collectively laugh is no
small feat heck sometimes trying to
tickle just one person’s funny bone is a
challenge especially when you’re on the
spot this is either a door or a wall for
me and it’s either the beginning of the
end I don’t know I please to land a gig
as a talk show host when we must prove
himself to be a funny person by
impressing an executive played by film
director David Lynch the scene plays out
awkwardly because Louie is absolutely
stumped about what to say he does come
up with something but it’s a strange
sentence that mixes both insults and
stupidity even so it somehow helps this
case you’re just a pencil
PMS prey
number nine why one night stand when I
have a child I will answer all of their
questions
and open their minds to the wonders of
the world children are wonderful
children are also exhausting why
well that one word is one of the main
reasons why Louie recounts an instance
with one of his daughters when she
repeatedly asked him why to discover the
many reasons why life and reality are
the way they are a kid never goes oh
thanks I get it it’s fantastic the
children are curious and want to learn
Louie hits the nail right on the head as
to why this process can become mundane
and infuriating pretty fast nobody knows
everything yet your child expects you to
placing you in a seemingly never-ending
conversation in this case it probably
leaves Louis questioning why he had kids
in the first place why because my
parents gave me no guidance they didn’t
give a shit why because they’ve been a
Corin had me and they resented me for
taking their youth number eight Louie
versus Dane Louie
you don’t really say 2006 it’s 2006 2006
is like saying the year 2000 and by the
way the number 6 it’s a lot of
competition in the world of stand-up
comedy and as you can imagine if one
comedian thinks another comedian has
stolen his material and tried to pass it
off as his own there will be some
animosity on both sides
Dane Cook was at one point a top
stand-up act but when the internet began
to slam him for taking Louie’s jokes it
tarnished his once prestigious image
that should have been like my triumph
and I enjoyed it Louis for maybe two
months well in an episode of Louie the
two comedians address this issue head-on
face to face and considering how touchy
the subject is with comedians it’s a
pretty ballsy scene plus we just love
seeing Dane and Louie interact fake
argument or not so for you to think that
you’re the only person who got an itchy
asshole in America I mean like that’s
that’s bullshit you should try a natural
laundry detergent what number seven jizz
antha puss live at the Beacon Theater I
hate little boys I’m like the opposite
of a pedophile I just hate
no that’s not a real word but it should
be added to the dictionary to describe
bratty children everywhere based on
Louie’s retelling of his immense hatred
for a six-year-old boy Louie’s rant
starts by summarizing how horribly
behaved Jews antha puss really is and
how his mom doesn’t even bother stopping
him true Louie fashion things take a
dark turn when he tells us what he’d do
to protect his daughter from this
nightmare child and his plan is quite
something as he puts it you got to
protect your kids and if the best way is
to confuse a bully’s father sexually
then so be it and I know your dad is he
ran out on you but I’m gonna find him
I’m gonna turn myself gay and then I’m
gonna come to number six art gallery
Louie no no I didn’t say Louie and
Pamela go out for a date and instead of
opting for the more traditional dinner
and a movie they go to a modern art
museum the experience is different to
say the least as they move through the
exhibit the pieces on display become
increasingly strange with an eerily
consistent theme relating to the human
body and vile subject matter
the look on Louie’s face as he walks
past giant dirty cotton swabs or grown
men in their underwear shows that he’s
as confused as we are but hey maybe we
just don’t get it
that’s called diarrhea this is diarrhea
number five the heckler Louie hi could
you stop talking as you’re making it
hard for me to do my job
one of the most infuriating things for a
stand-up comedian is a heckler here you
are trying to do your job when suddenly
some random jerk in the audience feels
compelled to talk over you or yell
something rude it brings the whole show
to a grinding halt but you better
believe the person on stage will not
back down
you don’t like right that’s really weird
because you know you wouldn’t even exist
if your mom hadn’t raped that homeless
Chinese guy this scene captures why it’s
an awful idea to try and one-up the
person holding the microphone a comedian
is trained to be witty and to create
brutal comebacks if necessary and Louie
lets them fly at the heckler showing how
quickly the tables can turn in a
situation like this
why you can sue me you know who I would
like to sue everybody that works in the
hospital that you were born at number
four everything’s amazing and nobody’s
happy Late Night with Conan O’Brien yeah
because everything is amazing right now
and nobody’s happy we live in the future
we have so many fascinating and useful
technologies to help us with just about
everything need to learn something
internet need to get in touch with
someone phone need to travel far away
planes trains and automobiles yet
despite all of these conveniences
humanity somehow still complains that
these amazing things aren’t amazing
enough this is what people like now they
got their phone oh it won’t get a second
on one of his appearances on late-night
Louie told Conan about a time when the
Wi-Fi went out on a flight the moral of
the story maybe we all need to rethink
how bad our first world problems we do
we are like how quickly the world owes
him something yes
he knew existed only ten seconds ago
number three
helicopter escape Louie okay I’m not
very good at dating every guy’s been
there sometimes you just have trouble
finding the words you need to charm the
ladies now that’s where Louie is in this
scene trying desperately to stitch
together some half-decent statement
that’ll hopefully win her over
why am I trying to impress you why don’t
you tell me about your goddamn life and
try to impress me however what’s even
more important than finding the right
words is finding the right time to move
in for a kiss
unfortunately Lily doesn’t go about this
in the most graceful way causing the
woman he’s with to panic and bolt and
she doesn’t just run she goes for the
kind of faraway escape that involves a
helicopter all righty then
[Music]
number two suck a bag of dicks
shameless what does he want me to do
does you want me to take a bag of dicks
and suck it like suck the side of the
bag we’ve all gotten mad and shouted
insults as a means of venting our rage
but of all the colorful curses available
to you has it ever crossed your mind to
tell someone to suck a bag of dicks he
was angry in just like a greeting it’s a
bizarre statement and it paints a weird
mental picture that Louie is more than
happy to describe for us
in fact he’s actually got a lot of
questions about what’s sucking a bag of
dicks means or even looks like in the
end it’s a phrase that perplexed Louie
to no end and paved the way for one of
his funniest bits ever wears it like a
paper bag and they’re sticking like
baguettes kind of like you went shopping
before we unveil our number one pick
here are some honorable mentions I don’t
think it’s killing a baby I don’t I mean
it is it’s a it’s a little bit it’s a
little bit killing a baby if he had been
raped by me he never would have pulled
any of that stuff man should we invade
Poland no just take a shower I don’t
feel like I can understand if gay people
were just running out in the streets
just people they ask willy-nilly just
like a pestilence like without asking
you know number one of course but maybe
oh my god it’s become a category in my
brain that I call of course but maybe no
human is perfect we all straddle the
line between positive and negative good
and bad but usually we keep our bad
thoughts inside because we like to
portray ourselves as good people I have
a nephew who has that I’d be devastated
if something happening but me
well Louie breaks down all those walls
and calls attention to the devil on his
shoulder exposing the dark side of the
human psyche in what is arguably his
most hilarious and blunt joke ever
hearing him speak in his usual
obscenities definitely brings the
chuckles but this bit is also
surprisingly thought-provoking about
human behavior and leaves us with
palpable food for thought maybe if you
get shot by the dude you were just
shooting at it’s a tiny bit your fault
do you agree with our picks check out
these other great clips from WatchMojo
and subscribe for new videos every day
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