this one might require more bacon than
usual welcome to watchmojo.com and today
we’re counting down our picks for the
rectangle America megaphone Monday
butthole if you’re a fan of Parks and
Rec check out mismo Jo’s list of the top
ten most hilarious bloopers on Parks and
Recreation to watch some of the show’s
funniest behind-the-scenes moments click
on the link below for this list we’re
taking a look at the funniest scenes
from parks and recreation involving
Ronald Ulysses Swanson if you’re not up
to date a spoiler alert is probably in
order ready I was born ready number 10
Ron throws out his computer ron values
his privacy and the simple things in
life
he’s also resistant to change especially
when it comes to the ever-evolving evil
that is technology hey Ron Swanson check
out this great offer in this cold open
Ron goes online to make a purchase but
makes a shocking discovery instead my
question is what the hell seeing his
name in a pop-up ad Ron realizes that
his computer can learn information about
him the tech savvy April further pulls
back the veil instructing Ron to type
his address into Google Earth seems like
an invasion of privacy dude if you think
that’s bad go to Google Earth and type
in your address him one of the show’s
funniest at its ever we then cut to Ron
number nine Ron knows more than you
Andrew are you aware that your bathroom
faucet is leaking fixing up a house now
that’s Ron’s idea of a party when Andy
and April throw a Halloween bash
Ron seizes the opportunity to do a
little handiwork for them do you have a
toolbox this requires a trip to Lowe’s
we’re a friendly employee offers his
services hi there is there a project
you’re working on Ron could easily just
tell the employee that he doesn’t need
any help
instead he matter-of-factly delivers
this hysterical one-liner I know more
than you all right the only thing more
priceless than the line itself is the
employees bemused reaction Ron might not
be the most social guy but what he lacks
in that department he more than makes up
for in home-improvement skills it’s a
good feeling
sense of accomplishment pride dammit I
just love it so much number eight Ron
eats a banana after Ron catches an
illness from his girlfriend’s kids and
finally convinces him to get an overdue
medical exam I’m a grown man I have had
a cold before I need no help so if you
don’t mind as you might expect Ron isn’t
the best patient how many drinks of
alcohol do you consume a week one that’s
it one drink one shelf he has a
hilarious response for each of Ann’s
questions most notably declaring yoga to
be a mental illness do you have any
history of mental illness in your family
I have an uncle who does yoga despite
having a diet that primarily consists of
meat and alcohol Ron is in almost
perfect health since his potassium is
low though he reluctantly eats a banana
for the sake of his loved ones of course
this proves easier said than done the
only way Ron can stomach the healthy
fruit is if it’s served on a greasy
paunch burger we guess that’s a fair
number seven Ron on vegan bacon bacon is
to Ron Swanson what government is to
Leslie Knope I buy my burger and agree
dance at food and stuff a discount food
outlet equidistant from my home in my
work
Ron is deeply passionate about this pork
product and red meat in general at a
health food store
Ron is dismayed to find a clerk giving
Ron asks for a piece of the meatless
substitute but throws it out with no
explanation he then asks for another
only to repeat the action problem I’m
just making sure no one ever has to eat
this Ron clarifies that he’s not only
personally against vegan bacon but
committed to stopping anyone from eating
it
April naturally gets in on the trolling
it’s another shining example of this
unlikely dynamic duo working together
usually to the discomfort of others and
to the amusement of us anything else
nope just the crows and the beef number
six
Ron’s pyramid of greatness behold the
Swanson pyramid of greatness to describe
Ron Swanson as Manley would be a serious
understatement this guy makes gladiators
look like little boys while coaching a
youth basketball game Ron shares the
secret of his success through the
Swanson pyramid of greatness categories
include capitalism God’s Way of
determining who is smart and who is poor
the pyramid consists of several
categories including America haircuts
and animal proteins oh don’t forget
about the dangers of skim milk honor
most notably sits at the top of the
pyramid accompanied by the words quote
if you need it to find you don’t have it
this scene epitomizes pretty much
everything about Ron Swanson and
delivers clear instructions on how you
two can be like him air cuts there are
three acceptable haircuts high and tight
crew cut buzz cut
are the scissors broken in your house
son number 5 ron has a hernia I have a
hernia I’ve had it for a while and I’ve
been ignoring it
successfully as a fiercely independent
individual Ron doesn’t like asking
others for help even when his health is
in jeopardy after a sneeze puts a strain
on his hernia Ron finds himself in
mobile in his chair rather than
addressing the elephant in the room he
decides to just wait it out
unfortunately
Ron is unable to eat his lunch turn on
the lights or leave the building in a
rare compromise he finally allows April
to take him to the hospital do you need
you gotta hand it to Ron even when he’s
an unspeakable pain the guy maintains a
straight face and that deadpan
expression never fails to make us smile
number four Ron remarries Tammy – my
ex-wife Tammy likes to check in every so
often and to make sure I’m doing okay
and if I am she tries to everything up
although he usually maintains a stern
disciplined attitude Ron loses control
in the presence of his second ex-wife
Tammy – using her sexuality as a weapon
Tammy lives to make her ex-husband
miserable this leads to a crazy night
where the two get remarried and wind up
behind bars the image of Ron Swanson
with cornrows and a reverse Hitler
mustache is more than enough to solidify
this moment as a classic of course what
makes this especially hilarious is that
Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally are
actually married in real life Tammy and
I are in love and we’re gonna start a
family together it’s safe to say their
relationship is likely much more
functional off screen but hopefully no
less fun it’s been kind of a crazy night
number three Ron pulls his tooth you
okay Ron just a little tooth pain I’m
fine
continue Ron has done some shocking
things over the years but just when we
thought we had a full grasp of his
eccentricities he went and pulled this
move during a run-of-the-mill meeting
Ron casually references his toothache do
you need to go to the dentist Ron I
don’t like dentists out of the blue he
takes a pair of pliers and rips the
[Applause]
everybody else reacts pretty much how
you’d expect they exit the room in
horror while Donna drops an f-bomb Ron
then reveals to the audience that his
dentist actually pulled the tooth
yesterday but he wanted to convince his
co-workers that he could endure great
pain dentist pulled the tooth out
yesterday but it’s always a good idea to
demonstrate to your coworkers
that you are capable of withstanding a
tremendous amount of pain seeing Tom
pass out just an added bonus number two
Ron barbecues when Ron Swanson is put in
charge of a barbecue things get a little
weird
there will be no froofy desserts there
will be no giant soap bubble guns
there will be no adult men in costumes
and most of all there will be no
vegetables the parks department is
beyond stunned when Ron arrives with a
live pig everyone meet your meat on top
of that the pig is named Tom I
understand that it’s hilarious but that
is his given Christian name this is one
of the few moments in the series where
we actually see Ron express genuine
excitement sadly for him he’s the only
one unsurprisingly enough everyone else
is horrified by the plans to slaughter
the pig especially the kids
even though Ron has a quote-unquote
permit that allows him to do whatever he
wants arranged a research that this is
against the law way to ruin a perfectly
good barbecue hey Ron you’re not gonna
slaughter that pig here are you not to
worry I have a permit this just says I
can do what I want I am the director of
the parks department and this is a park
before we unveil our number-one pick
everybody excuse me there’s a sign it
ramps at park that says do not drink the
sprinkler water so I made Sun tea with
it and now I have an infection sir
never half-ass two things
whole last one thing number one all the
bacon and eggs on a trip to Indianapolis
Ranas met with one disappointment after
another first he learns that his
favorite restaurant has been shut down
they just boarded her up like she was
some common warehouse I should have been
here then as an alternative Chris serves
him a vegetarian meal
finally Ron goes to a diner where he
gets a poor excuse for a steak there’s
only one thing that can salvage the
night all the bacon and eggs the diner
has just give me all the bacon and eggs
you have
Ron further clarifies that he doesn’t
just want a lot of bacon and eggs but
literally all the bacon and eggs wait
wait I worry what you just heard was
give me a lot of bacon and eggs what I
said was give me all the bacon and eggs
you have do you understand in addition
to being arguably Ron Swanson’s most
quotable line of dialogue it reminds us
why we love Ron he’s a man of big
appetites but simple pleasures I’m a
simple man I like pretty dark-haired
women and breakfast food do you agree
with our picks check out these other
great clips from WatchMojo and subscribe for new videos every day
usual welcome to watchmojo.com and today
we’re counting down our picks for the
rectangle America megaphone Monday
butthole if you’re a fan of Parks and
Rec check out mismo Jo’s list of the top
ten most hilarious bloopers on Parks and
Recreation to watch some of the show’s
funniest behind-the-scenes moments click
on the link below for this list we’re
taking a look at the funniest scenes
from parks and recreation involving
Ronald Ulysses Swanson if you’re not up
to date a spoiler alert is probably in
order ready I was born ready number 10
Ron throws out his computer ron values
his privacy and the simple things in
life
he’s also resistant to change especially
when it comes to the ever-evolving evil
that is technology hey Ron Swanson check
out this great offer in this cold open
Ron goes online to make a purchase but
makes a shocking discovery instead my
question is what the hell seeing his
name in a pop-up ad Ron realizes that
his computer can learn information about
him the tech savvy April further pulls
back the veil instructing Ron to type
his address into Google Earth seems like
an invasion of privacy dude if you think
that’s bad go to Google Earth and type
in your address him one of the show’s
funniest at its ever we then cut to Ron
number nine Ron knows more than you
Andrew are you aware that your bathroom
faucet is leaking fixing up a house now
that’s Ron’s idea of a party when Andy
and April throw a Halloween bash
Ron seizes the opportunity to do a
little handiwork for them do you have a
toolbox this requires a trip to Lowe’s
we’re a friendly employee offers his
services hi there is there a project
you’re working on Ron could easily just
tell the employee that he doesn’t need
any help
instead he matter-of-factly delivers
this hysterical one-liner I know more
than you all right the only thing more
priceless than the line itself is the
employees bemused reaction Ron might not
be the most social guy but what he lacks
in that department he more than makes up
for in home-improvement skills it’s a
good feeling
sense of accomplishment pride dammit I
just love it so much number eight Ron
eats a banana after Ron catches an
illness from his girlfriend’s kids and
finally convinces him to get an overdue
medical exam I’m a grown man I have had
a cold before I need no help so if you
don’t mind as you might expect Ron isn’t
the best patient how many drinks of
alcohol do you consume a week one that’s
it one drink one shelf he has a
hilarious response for each of Ann’s
questions most notably declaring yoga to
be a mental illness do you have any
history of mental illness in your family
I have an uncle who does yoga despite
having a diet that primarily consists of
meat and alcohol Ron is in almost
perfect health since his potassium is
low though he reluctantly eats a banana
for the sake of his loved ones of course
this proves easier said than done the
only way Ron can stomach the healthy
fruit is if it’s served on a greasy
paunch burger we guess that’s a fair
number seven Ron on vegan bacon bacon is
to Ron Swanson what government is to
Leslie Knope I buy my burger and agree
dance at food and stuff a discount food
outlet equidistant from my home in my
work
Ron is deeply passionate about this pork
product and red meat in general at a
health food store
Ron is dismayed to find a clerk giving
Ron asks for a piece of the meatless
substitute but throws it out with no
explanation he then asks for another
only to repeat the action problem I’m
just making sure no one ever has to eat
this Ron clarifies that he’s not only
personally against vegan bacon but
committed to stopping anyone from eating
it
April naturally gets in on the trolling
it’s another shining example of this
unlikely dynamic duo working together
usually to the discomfort of others and
to the amusement of us anything else
nope just the crows and the beef number
six
Ron’s pyramid of greatness behold the
Swanson pyramid of greatness to describe
Ron Swanson as Manley would be a serious
understatement this guy makes gladiators
look like little boys while coaching a
youth basketball game Ron shares the
secret of his success through the
Swanson pyramid of greatness categories
include capitalism God’s Way of
determining who is smart and who is poor
the pyramid consists of several
categories including America haircuts
and animal proteins oh don’t forget
about the dangers of skim milk honor
most notably sits at the top of the
pyramid accompanied by the words quote
if you need it to find you don’t have it
this scene epitomizes pretty much
everything about Ron Swanson and
delivers clear instructions on how you
two can be like him air cuts there are
three acceptable haircuts high and tight
crew cut buzz cut
are the scissors broken in your house
son number 5 ron has a hernia I have a
hernia I’ve had it for a while and I’ve
been ignoring it
successfully as a fiercely independent
individual Ron doesn’t like asking
others for help even when his health is
in jeopardy after a sneeze puts a strain
on his hernia Ron finds himself in
mobile in his chair rather than
addressing the elephant in the room he
decides to just wait it out
unfortunately
Ron is unable to eat his lunch turn on
the lights or leave the building in a
rare compromise he finally allows April
to take him to the hospital do you need
you gotta hand it to Ron even when he’s
an unspeakable pain the guy maintains a
straight face and that deadpan
expression never fails to make us smile
number four Ron remarries Tammy – my
ex-wife Tammy likes to check in every so
often and to make sure I’m doing okay
and if I am she tries to everything up
although he usually maintains a stern
disciplined attitude Ron loses control
in the presence of his second ex-wife
Tammy – using her sexuality as a weapon
Tammy lives to make her ex-husband
miserable this leads to a crazy night
where the two get remarried and wind up
behind bars the image of Ron Swanson
with cornrows and a reverse Hitler
mustache is more than enough to solidify
this moment as a classic of course what
makes this especially hilarious is that
Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally are
actually married in real life Tammy and
I are in love and we’re gonna start a
family together it’s safe to say their
relationship is likely much more
functional off screen but hopefully no
less fun it’s been kind of a crazy night
number three Ron pulls his tooth you
okay Ron just a little tooth pain I’m
fine
continue Ron has done some shocking
things over the years but just when we
thought we had a full grasp of his
eccentricities he went and pulled this
move during a run-of-the-mill meeting
Ron casually references his toothache do
you need to go to the dentist Ron I
don’t like dentists out of the blue he
takes a pair of pliers and rips the
[Applause]
everybody else reacts pretty much how
you’d expect they exit the room in
horror while Donna drops an f-bomb Ron
then reveals to the audience that his
dentist actually pulled the tooth
yesterday but he wanted to convince his
co-workers that he could endure great
pain dentist pulled the tooth out
yesterday but it’s always a good idea to
demonstrate to your coworkers
that you are capable of withstanding a
tremendous amount of pain seeing Tom
pass out just an added bonus number two
Ron barbecues when Ron Swanson is put in
charge of a barbecue things get a little
weird
there will be no froofy desserts there
will be no giant soap bubble guns
there will be no adult men in costumes
and most of all there will be no
vegetables the parks department is
beyond stunned when Ron arrives with a
live pig everyone meet your meat on top
of that the pig is named Tom I
understand that it’s hilarious but that
is his given Christian name this is one
of the few moments in the series where
we actually see Ron express genuine
excitement sadly for him he’s the only
one unsurprisingly enough everyone else
is horrified by the plans to slaughter
the pig especially the kids
even though Ron has a quote-unquote
permit that allows him to do whatever he
wants arranged a research that this is
against the law way to ruin a perfectly
good barbecue hey Ron you’re not gonna
slaughter that pig here are you not to
worry I have a permit this just says I
can do what I want I am the director of
the parks department and this is a park
before we unveil our number-one pick
everybody excuse me there’s a sign it
ramps at park that says do not drink the
sprinkler water so I made Sun tea with
it and now I have an infection sir
never half-ass two things
whole last one thing number one all the
bacon and eggs on a trip to Indianapolis
Ranas met with one disappointment after
another first he learns that his
favorite restaurant has been shut down
they just boarded her up like she was
some common warehouse I should have been
here then as an alternative Chris serves
him a vegetarian meal
finally Ron goes to a diner where he
gets a poor excuse for a steak there’s
only one thing that can salvage the
night all the bacon and eggs the diner
has just give me all the bacon and eggs
you have
Ron further clarifies that he doesn’t
just want a lot of bacon and eggs but
literally all the bacon and eggs wait
wait I worry what you just heard was
give me a lot of bacon and eggs what I
said was give me all the bacon and eggs
you have do you understand in addition
to being arguably Ron Swanson’s most
quotable line of dialogue it reminds us
why we love Ron he’s a man of big
appetites but simple pleasures I’m a
simple man I like pretty dark-haired
women and breakfast food do you agree
with our picks check out these other
great clips from WatchMojo and subscribe for new videos every day
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