admit it you tricked your parents into
getting to buy at least one of these for
you didn’t you
welcome to watchmojo.com and you were
counting down our picks for the top ten
inappropriate video games you probably
played as a kid I’m a king oh really
yeah jump bitch threw me up just to be
clear we love violence nudity and
explicit language as much as the next
motherfucker
but let’s all agree that some of the
following titles should not be enjoyed
by those with single-digit
ages even if we did so ourselves and if
you’re currently too young to be playing
these games but you’re still doing it
anyway well nobody cares kid stay in
school number 10
doom when released over 20 years ago
doom was a huge success it received
praise from critics and was extremely
popular acquiring over 20 million
players within his first two years of
release how much do you want to bet that
a solid chunk of those were kids heck
one of them was me
this was really the perfect storm not
only was the first third of the game
widely available as shareware but a lot
of parents probably didn’t even know
that video games could even be this
violent at the time things would get
worse in the future but there were
probably quite a few kids that got night
terrors from hours and hours of blasting
the denizens of Hell number 9 – rock
dinosaur hunter when released in 1997
for the Nintendo 64 to rock was praised
for its realistic graphics which you
guessed it definitely contained
realistic violence with tons of blood
actually the dinosaur parts weren’t even
all that bad
it was the humans that you start off
killing that really drove at home dude
we a shot in the throat with spirt blood
from the wound before the poor bastard
word gargling convulsed themselves to
death as many professional critics
cautioned children from blamed game of
course this sort of thing made for great
stories on the playground making it that
much more appealing than Mario Kart
number eight god of war
as badasses Kratos is his actions are
certainly not for the prying eyes of
children the game literally starts with
two topless woman being kicked data
Kratos is bad after an implied threesome
and the nudity never really lets out
from there I mean those Greek goddesses
really don’t have any reservations about
their supernatural bodies but straight
boobies are not really the only thing to
worry about
as the game became most famous for its
visceral detailed violence aided by the
QuickTime events that really make you
feel like you were participating
definitely not for kids
number seven dead or alive extreme
beachvollyball okay so if you like the
series that’s totally cool and if you
hate it well good on you too but just
don’t make a youtube video about how
much you hate it cuz you’re gonna have
to shut down the comment section before
you know it oh no oops you spoke with
the laugh anyway
the words beach volleyball are pretty
much synonymous with scantily clad
ladies making it a match made in heaven
for a fighting series known for the
exact same thing
heck you can’t even tell your parents
you’re playing it for the plot you’d
better just hope you have a good lock on
your door and both hands on the
controller at all times okay kiddo
number six Call of Duty series
so there’s definitely more violent
shooters out there Call of Duty is just
so damn popular that it’s bound to be
the one that all the young uns want to
play so beyond the fact that it’s a game
where you know you go to war in your
shoe people the series also features
some pretty intense psychological
moments that could easily scare or
disturb a kid including but not limited
to a massacre of innocent civilians at
an airport a protagonist being burned
alive and a character slowly dying while
witnessing the devastation of a nuclear
bomb anyway all that being said if
you’re a parent good luck convincing
your kids that splatoon is just as fun
why kid oh boy
well why kid number five Duke Nukem 3d
okay so doom was pretty cool but you
know was even better Duke 3d and I say
that because Duke had a much more
relatable real-world feel which in turn
meant that our on-screen protagonist
could pee and toilets crack hilarious
and often explicit one-liners and shoot
loads of dudes in the face am I
forgetting something oh yeah boobies duh
you could go to strip clubs hand the
strippers cash and then see some heavily
pixelated boobies who would ever want to
go play Mario ever again when I can have
blood gore funny jokes and boobies in
one game shareware struck again and we
were never the same you’re pathetic you
want to dance
number four Mortal Kombat series
even though the series fans decades
there wasn’t anything like the
controversy and kickback that these
games caused in the early 90s people had
never really seen anything like this and
the game was so controversial that it
led to the creation of the ESRB and
generated political discussions about
the corruption of society due to violent
video games understand that these are
not harmless toys so obviously all the
kids wanted to play it unfortunately the
game caused such a stir that most of our
parents had heard about in the paper
before we could get them to rent it for
us but we all knew that one buddy whose
parents had had a divorce and whose dad
let them play whatever they wanted and
that kid almost always had Mortal Kombat
number three Conker’s Bad Fur Day so
this is a game that’s essentially
designed to trick your parents conker
may look like a cute cuddly creature and
that game may look like any number of
childish adventure games of the n64 era
but don’t be fooled this was certainly
not a game for children and Nintendo
even tried to make sure they got that
point across by advertising the games
inappropriate nature be a disclaimer on
the box but like most mature things this
didn’t stop children from getting their
hands on it
the game features crude humor in spades
and alcoholic protagonist sexual content
profanity and graphic violence in its
multiplayer which by the way was pretty
awesome so as much as conker might look
like him
banjo kazooie he is not I am the great
mighty oh and I’m going to throw my shit
at you
number 2 Leisure Suit Larry in the land
of the Lounge Lizards
this one was a little tougher for us
youngsters to figure out I mean when
you’re a kid you don’t even know that
Leisure Suit Larry in the land of the
Lounge Lizards has mature connotations
and innuendo basically built into the
title plus that dude on the front looks
like a cartoon character
so it doesn’t immediately catch your
young eyes it’s something that’s not for
you then after you get into the game you
take on the struggles of Larry as it’s
actually pretty tough to score through
the series of subpar minigames and
pixelated boobies aside if you can
actually get to them it’s really the
humor here that’s inappropriate for kids
and it’s not the TV cover your eyes
inappropriate but it’s more the Oh Timmy
won’t even understand that kind of
inappropriate
before we shield our children’s eyes
from our top pick here if you want on
collections
number one Grand Theft Auto series ring
with you mom
LJ hoppy the granddaddy of controversial
video games the GTA series has been
causing headaches for parents and
authority figures for years so obviously
it’s the game that all the kids wanna
play the most this series really does
contain everything even remotely
inappropriate for children including but
not limited to extreme acts of violence
against innocent people
gratuitous performances of criminal
behavior prostitution strip clubs male
nudity obscene sexual acts and
persistent drug use among many many
other things
honestly though since we covered
violence in the other entries I suppose
the real risk here is that kids would
start repeating the dialogue they hear
in the game I mean come on you really
don’t want little Jessica to start
talking like CJ from Grove Street now
do you officer Hernandez I work with ten
Fanny and Pulaski
oh the bitch what the hell you want so
do you agree with our list
what inappropriate games did you play as
a kid for more family-friendly top 10s
published every day be sure to subscribe
to watchmojo.com
chalky reason
getting to buy at least one of these for
you didn’t you
welcome to watchmojo.com and you were
counting down our picks for the top ten
inappropriate video games you probably
played as a kid I’m a king oh really
yeah jump bitch threw me up just to be
clear we love violence nudity and
explicit language as much as the next
motherfucker
but let’s all agree that some of the
following titles should not be enjoyed
by those with single-digit
ages even if we did so ourselves and if
you’re currently too young to be playing
these games but you’re still doing it
anyway well nobody cares kid stay in
school number 10
doom when released over 20 years ago
doom was a huge success it received
praise from critics and was extremely
popular acquiring over 20 million
players within his first two years of
release how much do you want to bet that
a solid chunk of those were kids heck
one of them was me
this was really the perfect storm not
only was the first third of the game
widely available as shareware but a lot
of parents probably didn’t even know
that video games could even be this
violent at the time things would get
worse in the future but there were
probably quite a few kids that got night
terrors from hours and hours of blasting
the denizens of Hell number 9 – rock
dinosaur hunter when released in 1997
for the Nintendo 64 to rock was praised
for its realistic graphics which you
guessed it definitely contained
realistic violence with tons of blood
actually the dinosaur parts weren’t even
all that bad
it was the humans that you start off
killing that really drove at home dude
we a shot in the throat with spirt blood
from the wound before the poor bastard
word gargling convulsed themselves to
death as many professional critics
cautioned children from blamed game of
course this sort of thing made for great
stories on the playground making it that
much more appealing than Mario Kart
number eight god of war
as badasses Kratos is his actions are
certainly not for the prying eyes of
children the game literally starts with
two topless woman being kicked data
Kratos is bad after an implied threesome
and the nudity never really lets out
from there I mean those Greek goddesses
really don’t have any reservations about
their supernatural bodies but straight
boobies are not really the only thing to
worry about
as the game became most famous for its
visceral detailed violence aided by the
QuickTime events that really make you
feel like you were participating
definitely not for kids
number seven dead or alive extreme
beachvollyball okay so if you like the
series that’s totally cool and if you
hate it well good on you too but just
don’t make a youtube video about how
much you hate it cuz you’re gonna have
to shut down the comment section before
you know it oh no oops you spoke with
the laugh anyway
the words beach volleyball are pretty
much synonymous with scantily clad
ladies making it a match made in heaven
for a fighting series known for the
exact same thing
heck you can’t even tell your parents
you’re playing it for the plot you’d
better just hope you have a good lock on
your door and both hands on the
controller at all times okay kiddo
number six Call of Duty series
so there’s definitely more violent
shooters out there Call of Duty is just
so damn popular that it’s bound to be
the one that all the young uns want to
play so beyond the fact that it’s a game
where you know you go to war in your
shoe people the series also features
some pretty intense psychological
moments that could easily scare or
disturb a kid including but not limited
to a massacre of innocent civilians at
an airport a protagonist being burned
alive and a character slowly dying while
witnessing the devastation of a nuclear
bomb anyway all that being said if
you’re a parent good luck convincing
your kids that splatoon is just as fun
why kid oh boy
well why kid number five Duke Nukem 3d
okay so doom was pretty cool but you
know was even better Duke 3d and I say
that because Duke had a much more
relatable real-world feel which in turn
meant that our on-screen protagonist
could pee and toilets crack hilarious
and often explicit one-liners and shoot
loads of dudes in the face am I
forgetting something oh yeah boobies duh
you could go to strip clubs hand the
strippers cash and then see some heavily
pixelated boobies who would ever want to
go play Mario ever again when I can have
blood gore funny jokes and boobies in
one game shareware struck again and we
were never the same you’re pathetic you
want to dance
number four Mortal Kombat series
even though the series fans decades
there wasn’t anything like the
controversy and kickback that these
games caused in the early 90s people had
never really seen anything like this and
the game was so controversial that it
led to the creation of the ESRB and
generated political discussions about
the corruption of society due to violent
video games understand that these are
not harmless toys so obviously all the
kids wanted to play it unfortunately the
game caused such a stir that most of our
parents had heard about in the paper
before we could get them to rent it for
us but we all knew that one buddy whose
parents had had a divorce and whose dad
let them play whatever they wanted and
that kid almost always had Mortal Kombat
number three Conker’s Bad Fur Day so
this is a game that’s essentially
designed to trick your parents conker
may look like a cute cuddly creature and
that game may look like any number of
childish adventure games of the n64 era
but don’t be fooled this was certainly
not a game for children and Nintendo
even tried to make sure they got that
point across by advertising the games
inappropriate nature be a disclaimer on
the box but like most mature things this
didn’t stop children from getting their
hands on it
the game features crude humor in spades
and alcoholic protagonist sexual content
profanity and graphic violence in its
multiplayer which by the way was pretty
awesome so as much as conker might look
like him
banjo kazooie he is not I am the great
mighty oh and I’m going to throw my shit
at you
number 2 Leisure Suit Larry in the land
of the Lounge Lizards
this one was a little tougher for us
youngsters to figure out I mean when
you’re a kid you don’t even know that
Leisure Suit Larry in the land of the
Lounge Lizards has mature connotations
and innuendo basically built into the
title plus that dude on the front looks
like a cartoon character
so it doesn’t immediately catch your
young eyes it’s something that’s not for
you then after you get into the game you
take on the struggles of Larry as it’s
actually pretty tough to score through
the series of subpar minigames and
pixelated boobies aside if you can
actually get to them it’s really the
humor here that’s inappropriate for kids
and it’s not the TV cover your eyes
inappropriate but it’s more the Oh Timmy
won’t even understand that kind of
inappropriate
before we shield our children’s eyes
from our top pick here if you want on
collections
number one Grand Theft Auto series ring
with you mom
LJ hoppy the granddaddy of controversial
video games the GTA series has been
causing headaches for parents and
authority figures for years so obviously
it’s the game that all the kids wanna
play the most this series really does
contain everything even remotely
inappropriate for children including but
not limited to extreme acts of violence
against innocent people
gratuitous performances of criminal
behavior prostitution strip clubs male
nudity obscene sexual acts and
persistent drug use among many many
other things
honestly though since we covered
violence in the other entries I suppose
the real risk here is that kids would
start repeating the dialogue they hear
in the game I mean come on you really
don’t want little Jessica to start
talking like CJ from Grove Street now
do you officer Hernandez I work with ten
Fanny and Pulaski
oh the bitch what the hell you want so
do you agree with our list
what inappropriate games did you play as
a kid for more family-friendly top 10s
published every day be sure to subscribe
to watchmojo.com
chalky reason
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