como se llaman
Oh Kelly Clarkson prepare to laugh
yourself silly welcome to watchmojo.com
and today we’re counting down our picks
for the top 10 funniest movie quotes of
the 2000s Ron where are you I’m in a
glass case of emotion for this list
we’re taking a look at the most
hilarious quotes from movies from the
2000s that have had the most staying
power what is the best gun to defend
from a Jew these jokes must be funny
without context and they do not have to
be featured in comedy movies this is
part of a series of videos spanning the
decades you guys are in for a fright
battle B scripts could read me what the
hell does that even mean what you
getting at with the book scripts fit
that shit out man because one or two of
these quotes might be a little rude
viewer discretion is advised
I have had it with these mother and
snakes on this mother can play number 10
if I grew up on a farm in Bruges what’s
up there
the view in Bruges is a darkly comedic
masterwork that you’ll be constantly
quoting after one viewing we made choice
to kill me gun gets nicked almost denim
cruise of course you might not be too
proud of yourself for quoting it
although Bruges is like a fairy tale
town it’s just not Ray’s thing to feel
what you go down here and see laughing
down here right you’re about the worst
tourist in the whole world
the hit man sums up his thoughts on the
Belgian city with this gem of a line
that appeals to the pessimist in all of
us if I grown up on a farm and was
retarded Bruges might impress me but I
didn’t so it doesn’t ray is probably the
last person you’d want to go sightseeing
with unless you’re looking for a cynic
to provide hilarious commentary
throughout the trip can I go Dobin I
loved Oakland number nine I have nipples
Greg meet the parents I went in and just
simply no just it’s nothing short of
hysterical how Greg Focker digs himself
deeper and deeper into trouble as he
tries to impress his future in-laws and
Meet the Parents Greg would you like to
say grace oh well Greg’s Jewish dad you
know you’re telling me shooters don’t
pray honey unless you have some
objection no no no I’m a simple lie
about growing up on a farm
quickly snowballs into a calamity with
Greg trying to cover up one lie with
another you can practically see his nose
growing throughout his meandering tirade
and Greg caps things off with the most
ridiculous lie of all III had no idea
you could milk a cat oh yeah you can
milk anything with nipples it’s Jack’s
deadpan response though that cements
this scene as comedy gold
I have nipples Greg could you milk me
number eight I’m hammered drunk
Talladega Nights The Ballad of Ricky
Bobby Oh picture Jesus in a tuxedo
t-shirt because it says like I want to
be formal but I’m here to party too in
this classic scene from the equally
classic Talladega Nights
Ricky Bobby says grace but it soon goes
off-topic spiraling into deep
philosophical matters I like to party so
my Jesus to party just how should one
perceive Jesus – Ricki Jesus is a tiny
Christmas baby to his son Jesus is a
ninja fighting off samurai I like the
picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off
evil samurai but those depictions are
fairly tame compared to Cal’s vision of
Christ which sees the Son of God as a
skynyrd lovin southern rocker complete
with eagle wings
whoever crafted this absurd string of
dialogue must have either been hammered
drunk a comedic genius or a bit of both
I like to think of Jesus like with John
eagle’s wings and singing lead vocals
for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel
band and I’m in the front row and I’m
hammered drunk number seven never go
full retard Tropic Thunder you mama moo
moomoomoo make me happy before moving
forward let’s take a big step back and
listen to les grossman
you know how you handle an actor they
whined about anything you pull down
their pants and you spank their ass you
spank that ass les now let’s take a word
of advice from Kirk Lazarus on how to
win an Oscar man I don’t drop character
till I’ve done a DVD commentary rule
numero uno never go full retard I got a
good brain what makes this line an
instant classic is that despite it being
shocking and decidedly unpeople idit e
to the claim everybody knows you never
go full retard Dustin Hoffman and Rain
Man
Oscar Tom Hanks and Forrest Gump Oscar
sean penn and I am Sam no Oscar but at
least he was nominated which is more
than we can say for Tugg Speedman in
simple Jack simple Jack the story of a
mentally impaired farmhand who can talk
to animals was a box office disaster
that many critics called one of the
worst movies of all time number six
unfunny version of Everybody Loves
Raymond knocked up I wrote out the list
of shit Allison doesn’t let me
like it would be endless this line from
knocked-up unearths exceptional
observational humor by referencing
another observational comedy Everybody
Loves Raymond don’t smoke pot don’t have
samurai swords in your room
we’ll have illegal grow operations in
the house Paul Rudd’s Pete perfectly
sums up how the series captures the
trials of marriage but clouds the
intensity of those tribulations with a
light-hearted sitcom atmosphere marriage
is like that show Everybody Loves
Raymond but it’s not funny the result is
a relatable situation comedy that
harbors a surprising amount of truth you
wouldn’t think a critical analysis of a
TV show would be so side-splitting
like Everybody Loves Raymond though most
married men can identify with Pete’s
words marriage is like an unfunny tense
version of Everybody Loves Raymond but
it doesn’t last 22 minutes last forever
number five 60% of the time it works
every time anchorman The Legend of Ron
Burgundy I love scotch I love scotch
scotch is God’s copy as it was watch
mojos pick four most quotable movie ever
there’s no way we could leave anchorman
off this countdown cannonball
but which line to single out while Ron’s
German translation of San Diago is
tempting discovered by the Germans 1904
they named it San Diago which of course
in German means a whale’s vagina we’re
more allured by the scent of Brian
fantana’s sex panther it’s called sex
panther by Odeon it’s illegal in nine
countries yep
it’s made with bits of real panther yet
another uproarious line delivered by
Paul Rudd is pungent cologne is said to
somehow work on the ladies every time
60% of the time 60% of the time it works
every time
the other 40% it apparently smells like
Bigfoot’s dick Oh
number four a bag of sand the 40 year
old virgin you know what I’m dumb a
gentleman and I don’t you know I don’t
kiss and tell
and II may be a virgin but you’d think
he would have gained some understanding
of the opposite sex during his 40 years
on earth she loved to dirty talk
totally into it she’d be like yeah let’s
screw let’s I wanna alas he’s as
clueless as an 11 year old in health
class she’d be like Oh me so horny me
love you a long time while he almost
manages to keep up the facade that he’s
sexually experienced for well over a
minute he blows his cover upon trying to
explain what a woman’s breasts feel like
you know and like you grab a woman’s
breasts and it’s and you you feel it and
it feels like a bag of sand naturally a
boob has the texture of the sexiest
thing in all of nature a bag of sand
after that priceless description the
truth about andis virginity is fully
exposed no he’s a virgin like you guys
are hilarious
– man don’t be mean I’m not being mean
I’m drying up the pot now I’m trying to
say I want to get you laid dude I
understand what’s going on you guys are
so up your asses number three a
different kind of Iron Chef super bad
she walked up with me she wants my dick
in or around her mouth super bad is
another laugh a minute comedy where the
one-liners fly by so fast
that you need to watch it multiple times
just to catch them all I am McLovin
no you’re not no one’s McLovin McLovin
‘he’s never existing cuz that’s a
made-up dump and fairytale name you back
one particular quote that’s etched into
the halls of comic quote ability however
is sets game plan to become a sex God in
time for college she could be at the
party and she’s gonna be drunk and she
likes me at least a little enough to get
with me while the rent is a riot on a
writing level it’s the way Jonah Hill
puts emphasis on the word vaj that
elevates the line into a comedic league
of its own time College rolls around
I’ll be like the Iron Chef accounting
buys number two rude words Team America
world police yes scary yes remember when
your mom said you shouldn’t curse cuz
it’s rude and not funny she lied and it
takes a pussy to show them that Matt
Stone and Trey Parker have been proving
her wrong for decades as the two have a
gift for making brilliant political
commentary in the most childish and
disgusting ways but sometimes pussies
get so full of shit that they become
assholes themselves nowhere is that
better represented than in the climax of
Team America world police because
pussies are only an inch and a half away
from assholes delivering a passionate
speech Geary speaks a truth that every
nation can understand
I don’t know much in this crazy crazy
world well what can you say to that
except god bless america
but I do know that if you don’t let us
this asshole
we are gonna have our dicks and our
pussies all covered in shit before we
crack up at our top pick here are some
honorable mentions okay but for speed or
for comfort what’d you do with them
motorboat you play the motorboat you’ve
moved a boat in son-of-a-bitch you old
sailor you it’s like I have yes peon or
something my breasts can always tell
what’s gonna rain
really shit I’m so high right now it’s
like a burger I like you anymore what
time sexy time
I made a sexy time with my mother-in-law
you had sex with your mother yes number
one fit inside the building Zoolander
without much further ado I give you the
Derek Zoolander Center for kids who
can’t read good the funniest line of
this decade comes from one of comedies
most ingenious minds and dumbest
characters what is this
upon the unveiling of a model for the
Derek Zoolander Center for kids who
can’t read good and want to learn to do
other stuff good to our title character
is not impressed a center for ends
mistaking the small-scale model for the
real deal the fashion model throws a
hissy fit that could only come from the
world’s most boneheaded diva how can we
be expected to teach children to learn
how to read if they can’t even fit
inside the building for Derek’s vision
to come to fruition the center needs to
be at least three times bigger clearly
Zoolander is all hair gel and no brain I
don’t want to hear your excuses the
center has to be at least three times
bigger than this
do you agree with our list great what do
you think is the funniest quote of the
2000s four of us wolves running around
the desert together in Las Vegas looking
for strippers and cocaine for more
entertaining top 10s published every day
be sure to subscribe to watchmojo.com I
love say one more time shake it back
does that feel good
yeah it rhymes they’re both verbs
Oh Kelly Clarkson prepare to laugh
yourself silly welcome to watchmojo.com
and today we’re counting down our picks
for the top 10 funniest movie quotes of
the 2000s Ron where are you I’m in a
glass case of emotion for this list
we’re taking a look at the most
hilarious quotes from movies from the
2000s that have had the most staying
power what is the best gun to defend
from a Jew these jokes must be funny
without context and they do not have to
be featured in comedy movies this is
part of a series of videos spanning the
decades you guys are in for a fright
battle B scripts could read me what the
hell does that even mean what you
getting at with the book scripts fit
that shit out man because one or two of
these quotes might be a little rude
viewer discretion is advised
I have had it with these mother and
snakes on this mother can play number 10
if I grew up on a farm in Bruges what’s
up there
the view in Bruges is a darkly comedic
masterwork that you’ll be constantly
quoting after one viewing we made choice
to kill me gun gets nicked almost denim
cruise of course you might not be too
proud of yourself for quoting it
although Bruges is like a fairy tale
town it’s just not Ray’s thing to feel
what you go down here and see laughing
down here right you’re about the worst
tourist in the whole world
the hit man sums up his thoughts on the
Belgian city with this gem of a line
that appeals to the pessimist in all of
us if I grown up on a farm and was
retarded Bruges might impress me but I
didn’t so it doesn’t ray is probably the
last person you’d want to go sightseeing
with unless you’re looking for a cynic
to provide hilarious commentary
throughout the trip can I go Dobin I
loved Oakland number nine I have nipples
Greg meet the parents I went in and just
simply no just it’s nothing short of
hysterical how Greg Focker digs himself
deeper and deeper into trouble as he
tries to impress his future in-laws and
Meet the Parents Greg would you like to
say grace oh well Greg’s Jewish dad you
know you’re telling me shooters don’t
pray honey unless you have some
objection no no no I’m a simple lie
about growing up on a farm
quickly snowballs into a calamity with
Greg trying to cover up one lie with
another you can practically see his nose
growing throughout his meandering tirade
and Greg caps things off with the most
ridiculous lie of all III had no idea
you could milk a cat oh yeah you can
milk anything with nipples it’s Jack’s
deadpan response though that cements
this scene as comedy gold
I have nipples Greg could you milk me
number eight I’m hammered drunk
Talladega Nights The Ballad of Ricky
Bobby Oh picture Jesus in a tuxedo
t-shirt because it says like I want to
be formal but I’m here to party too in
this classic scene from the equally
classic Talladega Nights
Ricky Bobby says grace but it soon goes
off-topic spiraling into deep
philosophical matters I like to party so
my Jesus to party just how should one
perceive Jesus – Ricki Jesus is a tiny
Christmas baby to his son Jesus is a
ninja fighting off samurai I like the
picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off
evil samurai but those depictions are
fairly tame compared to Cal’s vision of
Christ which sees the Son of God as a
skynyrd lovin southern rocker complete
with eagle wings
whoever crafted this absurd string of
dialogue must have either been hammered
drunk a comedic genius or a bit of both
I like to think of Jesus like with John
eagle’s wings and singing lead vocals
for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel
band and I’m in the front row and I’m
hammered drunk number seven never go
full retard Tropic Thunder you mama moo
moomoomoo make me happy before moving
forward let’s take a big step back and
listen to les grossman
you know how you handle an actor they
whined about anything you pull down
their pants and you spank their ass you
spank that ass les now let’s take a word
of advice from Kirk Lazarus on how to
win an Oscar man I don’t drop character
till I’ve done a DVD commentary rule
numero uno never go full retard I got a
good brain what makes this line an
instant classic is that despite it being
shocking and decidedly unpeople idit e
to the claim everybody knows you never
go full retard Dustin Hoffman and Rain
Man
Oscar Tom Hanks and Forrest Gump Oscar
sean penn and I am Sam no Oscar but at
least he was nominated which is more
than we can say for Tugg Speedman in
simple Jack simple Jack the story of a
mentally impaired farmhand who can talk
to animals was a box office disaster
that many critics called one of the
worst movies of all time number six
unfunny version of Everybody Loves
Raymond knocked up I wrote out the list
of shit Allison doesn’t let me
like it would be endless this line from
knocked-up unearths exceptional
observational humor by referencing
another observational comedy Everybody
Loves Raymond don’t smoke pot don’t have
samurai swords in your room
we’ll have illegal grow operations in
the house Paul Rudd’s Pete perfectly
sums up how the series captures the
trials of marriage but clouds the
intensity of those tribulations with a
light-hearted sitcom atmosphere marriage
is like that show Everybody Loves
Raymond but it’s not funny the result is
a relatable situation comedy that
harbors a surprising amount of truth you
wouldn’t think a critical analysis of a
TV show would be so side-splitting
like Everybody Loves Raymond though most
married men can identify with Pete’s
words marriage is like an unfunny tense
version of Everybody Loves Raymond but
it doesn’t last 22 minutes last forever
number five 60% of the time it works
every time anchorman The Legend of Ron
Burgundy I love scotch I love scotch
scotch is God’s copy as it was watch
mojos pick four most quotable movie ever
there’s no way we could leave anchorman
off this countdown cannonball
but which line to single out while Ron’s
German translation of San Diago is
tempting discovered by the Germans 1904
they named it San Diago which of course
in German means a whale’s vagina we’re
more allured by the scent of Brian
fantana’s sex panther it’s called sex
panther by Odeon it’s illegal in nine
countries yep
it’s made with bits of real panther yet
another uproarious line delivered by
Paul Rudd is pungent cologne is said to
somehow work on the ladies every time
60% of the time 60% of the time it works
every time
the other 40% it apparently smells like
Bigfoot’s dick Oh
number four a bag of sand the 40 year
old virgin you know what I’m dumb a
gentleman and I don’t you know I don’t
kiss and tell
and II may be a virgin but you’d think
he would have gained some understanding
of the opposite sex during his 40 years
on earth she loved to dirty talk
totally into it she’d be like yeah let’s
screw let’s I wanna alas he’s as
clueless as an 11 year old in health
class she’d be like Oh me so horny me
love you a long time while he almost
manages to keep up the facade that he’s
sexually experienced for well over a
minute he blows his cover upon trying to
explain what a woman’s breasts feel like
you know and like you grab a woman’s
breasts and it’s and you you feel it and
it feels like a bag of sand naturally a
boob has the texture of the sexiest
thing in all of nature a bag of sand
after that priceless description the
truth about andis virginity is fully
exposed no he’s a virgin like you guys
are hilarious
– man don’t be mean I’m not being mean
I’m drying up the pot now I’m trying to
say I want to get you laid dude I
understand what’s going on you guys are
so up your asses number three a
different kind of Iron Chef super bad
she walked up with me she wants my dick
in or around her mouth super bad is
another laugh a minute comedy where the
one-liners fly by so fast
that you need to watch it multiple times
just to catch them all I am McLovin
no you’re not no one’s McLovin McLovin
‘he’s never existing cuz that’s a
made-up dump and fairytale name you back
one particular quote that’s etched into
the halls of comic quote ability however
is sets game plan to become a sex God in
time for college she could be at the
party and she’s gonna be drunk and she
likes me at least a little enough to get
with me while the rent is a riot on a
writing level it’s the way Jonah Hill
puts emphasis on the word vaj that
elevates the line into a comedic league
of its own time College rolls around
I’ll be like the Iron Chef accounting
buys number two rude words Team America
world police yes scary yes remember when
your mom said you shouldn’t curse cuz
it’s rude and not funny she lied and it
takes a pussy to show them that Matt
Stone and Trey Parker have been proving
her wrong for decades as the two have a
gift for making brilliant political
commentary in the most childish and
disgusting ways but sometimes pussies
get so full of shit that they become
assholes themselves nowhere is that
better represented than in the climax of
Team America world police because
pussies are only an inch and a half away
from assholes delivering a passionate
speech Geary speaks a truth that every
nation can understand
I don’t know much in this crazy crazy
world well what can you say to that
except god bless america
but I do know that if you don’t let us
this asshole
we are gonna have our dicks and our
pussies all covered in shit before we
crack up at our top pick here are some
honorable mentions okay but for speed or
for comfort what’d you do with them
motorboat you play the motorboat you’ve
moved a boat in son-of-a-bitch you old
sailor you it’s like I have yes peon or
something my breasts can always tell
what’s gonna rain
really shit I’m so high right now it’s
like a burger I like you anymore what
time sexy time
I made a sexy time with my mother-in-law
you had sex with your mother yes number
one fit inside the building Zoolander
without much further ado I give you the
Derek Zoolander Center for kids who
can’t read good the funniest line of
this decade comes from one of comedies
most ingenious minds and dumbest
characters what is this
upon the unveiling of a model for the
Derek Zoolander Center for kids who
can’t read good and want to learn to do
other stuff good to our title character
is not impressed a center for ends
mistaking the small-scale model for the
real deal the fashion model throws a
hissy fit that could only come from the
world’s most boneheaded diva how can we
be expected to teach children to learn
how to read if they can’t even fit
inside the building for Derek’s vision
to come to fruition the center needs to
be at least three times bigger clearly
Zoolander is all hair gel and no brain I
don’t want to hear your excuses the
center has to be at least three times
bigger than this
do you agree with our list great what do
you think is the funniest quote of the
2000s four of us wolves running around
the desert together in Las Vegas looking
for strippers and cocaine for more
entertaining top 10s published every day
be sure to subscribe to watchmojo.com I
love say one more time shake it back
does that feel good
yeah it rhymes they’re both verbs
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