no no only these crooks could have
stolen somebody else’s brain running
around in ski masks trying to blow
things up what did you think was gonna
happen
welcome to watchmojo.com and today we’re
counting down our picks for the top ten
dumbest criminals
in florida a man has been sentenced to
15 years in prison for violating his
probation by trying to break into the
Brevard County Jail for this list we’re
looking at people who attempted to
commit a crime but failed miserably in
the process number 10
dennis hawkins wearing a disguise is
great for concealing one’s identity if
one is going to commit a crime someone
should have told dennis hawkins that in
order for a disguise to work however it
has to be somewhat believable hawkins
apparently missed that memo as he
attempted to rob a bank wearing clown
pants with a pair of fake breasts and a
blonde wig not only did he fail to cover
his face which still had a goatee and
mustache but the disguise also attracted
attention and the police easily
apprehended him they’re all stupid see
they’re gonna be looking for a me guys
number 9
Daniel Glen I need you to arrest me it’s
important to be prepared especially if
you’re gonna rob a store it is possible
to be too prepared though which is
exactly what happened to Daniel Glen who
inexplicably decided to call ahead to
ask the store how much cash was in the
register imagine how that conversation
went hello I’d like to place a takeout
order for all the money can I get fries
with that confused and slightly a
armed the store owner immediately called
the police who arrested Glenn on his way
to the store number eight
Albert Bailey police in Connecticut say
they had ample warning of a bank robbery
because the two suspects called the bank
ahead of time telling an employee to get
a bag of money ready we’re gonna say
this now if you’re planning on robbing a
store or bank don’t call ahead and ask
them suspicious questions or warned them
you’re coming
seemingly inspired by our previous entry
Albert Bailey called the bank and told
them he was coming to rob them so that
they would have the money ready for him
when he got there he even had an
accomplice entered the bank with a note
informing the tellers who Bailey was
obviously the tellers had called the
police who apprehended Bailey
immediately number 7 Krystian Bala he
was being presented as a famous traveler
photographer intellectual maniac and
murderer to commit a crime you have to
be slightly arrogant if you get away
with the crime this arrogance can
increase to the point where you feel
untouchable after murdering Darius
Janiszewski in 2000 polish author
Krystian Bala wrote a novel titled amok
which featured an eerily similar murder
and details of the case only the
murderer himself could have been privy
to police uncovered clues relating to
the murder most of which came from the
novel eventually arresting and charging
Bala to their shock they discovered on
his computers plans to kill another
person to tie in with the next novel he
was planning to write
he must be number 6
Eloise D Reeves this is drugs
this is your brain on drugs buying drugs
is an art because you don’t have the
option to exchange or refund your
purchase if you don’t like the product
you get what you need one please one one
one one Rock crap a crack rock
apparently no one told this to Eloise
Reeves who had the gall to go to the
police to complain about the quality of
the crack cocaine she had just bought
she reportedly pulled the crack rock
from her mouth and placed it on the cop
car for the deputy to inspect she was
charged with the possession of cocaine
and fined roughly $1,500 are you guys
holding holding what any money
number five Jonathan no Chola dear diary
tomorrow my stress level goes to 11 as I
review the Royal Guard the whole Court
will be watching and plus the troops
people of busy lives and sometimes the
only way to keep track of important
events and dates is by keeping a diary
dear diary Sleeping Beauty is having a
slumber party tomorrow but dad says I
can’t go he never lets me out after
sunset it might be a good idea to leave
out any planned criminal activity
however this seemingly never registered
with Jonathan Ochoa who on June 12th
2010 wrote go Portsmouth’s robbery
happens in his diary yet diary proved
very interesting to read you read mine
you read my journal
the police were able to link him to the
robbery as the getaway driver and when
confronted a chola attempted to blame it
entirely on his buddy
arrest him his fault there is plenty of
fault to be passed around number 4 Mark
Smith not off I wake up in strange
places I have no idea how I got
you need to lighten up we aren’t sure if
there’s a criminal handbook but we have
to guess that falling asleep in the
house you’re robbing has to be high on
things not to do Mark Smith must not
have read that page Smith decided to
take a quick nap under his victims bed
drunk on vodka and high on valium only
to be discovered by the homeowner who
immediately called the police
babies don’t sleep as well we’ve heard
of cat burglars before but Smith seems
to associate more with cat Nappers
number three Derrick Mosley so we know
you’re not supposed to bring a knife to
a gunfight but what about a baseball bat
this is exactly what Derrick Mosley did
as he tried to rob a gun shop and steal
a firearm equipped only with a baseball
bat and knife strike fear into the
hearts of the wicked with this thing
look at this don’t use again
of course the manager pulled out his own
gun and held Mosley until the police
arrived who would have imagined that the
manager of a gun store would possess his
own gun will wonders never cease
number two Reubens Zarate deciding to
rob a muffler shop Reuben Zarate brought
a gun and demanded the money only to
discover that the money was in the safe
that could only be opened by the absent
store manager he decided it would be a
good idea to leave his numbers with the
store employees so they could call him
when the manager returned
of course they called police who set up
a trap for Zarate and arrested him heck
we’re just surprised durante didn’t
leave his name address and social
security number too
before we unveil our number one pick
here are a few honorable or in this case
dishonorable mentions
number one unnamed Moron 9659 committing
a crime is a stressful endeavor and
mistakes do happen if there’s one thing
all robbers should remember however it’s
that your gun is your most valuable
asset this particular robber seemed to
forget that fact as he attempted to rob
the Halifax Bank in London in the bag
demanding the teller fill the bag with
money he accidentally gave his gun to
the teller instead of the bag after a
brief moment of confusion the bank
worker retreated forcing the robber to
flee at least he managed to escape with
a bank employees bicycle and so we still
don’t know his name if you don’t come
out of there I’m gonna have to drag you
out you can try but you’ll never catch
me do you agree with our list
what other criminals bring new meaning
to the phrase thickest thieves for more
exciting top 10s published every day be
sure to subscribe to watchmojo.com
stolen somebody else’s brain running
around in ski masks trying to blow
things up what did you think was gonna
happen
welcome to watchmojo.com and today we’re
counting down our picks for the top ten
dumbest criminals
in florida a man has been sentenced to
15 years in prison for violating his
probation by trying to break into the
Brevard County Jail for this list we’re
looking at people who attempted to
commit a crime but failed miserably in
the process number 10
dennis hawkins wearing a disguise is
great for concealing one’s identity if
one is going to commit a crime someone
should have told dennis hawkins that in
order for a disguise to work however it
has to be somewhat believable hawkins
apparently missed that memo as he
attempted to rob a bank wearing clown
pants with a pair of fake breasts and a
blonde wig not only did he fail to cover
his face which still had a goatee and
mustache but the disguise also attracted
attention and the police easily
apprehended him they’re all stupid see
they’re gonna be looking for a me guys
number 9
Daniel Glen I need you to arrest me it’s
important to be prepared especially if
you’re gonna rob a store it is possible
to be too prepared though which is
exactly what happened to Daniel Glen who
inexplicably decided to call ahead to
ask the store how much cash was in the
register imagine how that conversation
went hello I’d like to place a takeout
order for all the money can I get fries
with that confused and slightly a
armed the store owner immediately called
the police who arrested Glenn on his way
to the store number eight
Albert Bailey police in Connecticut say
they had ample warning of a bank robbery
because the two suspects called the bank
ahead of time telling an employee to get
a bag of money ready we’re gonna say
this now if you’re planning on robbing a
store or bank don’t call ahead and ask
them suspicious questions or warned them
you’re coming
seemingly inspired by our previous entry
Albert Bailey called the bank and told
them he was coming to rob them so that
they would have the money ready for him
when he got there he even had an
accomplice entered the bank with a note
informing the tellers who Bailey was
obviously the tellers had called the
police who apprehended Bailey
immediately number 7 Krystian Bala he
was being presented as a famous traveler
photographer intellectual maniac and
murderer to commit a crime you have to
be slightly arrogant if you get away
with the crime this arrogance can
increase to the point where you feel
untouchable after murdering Darius
Janiszewski in 2000 polish author
Krystian Bala wrote a novel titled amok
which featured an eerily similar murder
and details of the case only the
murderer himself could have been privy
to police uncovered clues relating to
the murder most of which came from the
novel eventually arresting and charging
Bala to their shock they discovered on
his computers plans to kill another
person to tie in with the next novel he
was planning to write
he must be number 6
Eloise D Reeves this is drugs
this is your brain on drugs buying drugs
is an art because you don’t have the
option to exchange or refund your
purchase if you don’t like the product
you get what you need one please one one
one one Rock crap a crack rock
apparently no one told this to Eloise
Reeves who had the gall to go to the
police to complain about the quality of
the crack cocaine she had just bought
she reportedly pulled the crack rock
from her mouth and placed it on the cop
car for the deputy to inspect she was
charged with the possession of cocaine
and fined roughly $1,500 are you guys
holding holding what any money
number five Jonathan no Chola dear diary
tomorrow my stress level goes to 11 as I
review the Royal Guard the whole Court
will be watching and plus the troops
people of busy lives and sometimes the
only way to keep track of important
events and dates is by keeping a diary
dear diary Sleeping Beauty is having a
slumber party tomorrow but dad says I
can’t go he never lets me out after
sunset it might be a good idea to leave
out any planned criminal activity
however this seemingly never registered
with Jonathan Ochoa who on June 12th
2010 wrote go Portsmouth’s robbery
happens in his diary yet diary proved
very interesting to read you read mine
you read my journal
the police were able to link him to the
robbery as the getaway driver and when
confronted a chola attempted to blame it
entirely on his buddy
arrest him his fault there is plenty of
fault to be passed around number 4 Mark
Smith not off I wake up in strange
places I have no idea how I got
you need to lighten up we aren’t sure if
there’s a criminal handbook but we have
to guess that falling asleep in the
house you’re robbing has to be high on
things not to do Mark Smith must not
have read that page Smith decided to
take a quick nap under his victims bed
drunk on vodka and high on valium only
to be discovered by the homeowner who
immediately called the police
babies don’t sleep as well we’ve heard
of cat burglars before but Smith seems
to associate more with cat Nappers
number three Derrick Mosley so we know
you’re not supposed to bring a knife to
a gunfight but what about a baseball bat
this is exactly what Derrick Mosley did
as he tried to rob a gun shop and steal
a firearm equipped only with a baseball
bat and knife strike fear into the
hearts of the wicked with this thing
look at this don’t use again
of course the manager pulled out his own
gun and held Mosley until the police
arrived who would have imagined that the
manager of a gun store would possess his
own gun will wonders never cease
number two Reubens Zarate deciding to
rob a muffler shop Reuben Zarate brought
a gun and demanded the money only to
discover that the money was in the safe
that could only be opened by the absent
store manager he decided it would be a
good idea to leave his numbers with the
store employees so they could call him
when the manager returned
of course they called police who set up
a trap for Zarate and arrested him heck
we’re just surprised durante didn’t
leave his name address and social
security number too
before we unveil our number one pick
here are a few honorable or in this case
dishonorable mentions
number one unnamed Moron 9659 committing
a crime is a stressful endeavor and
mistakes do happen if there’s one thing
all robbers should remember however it’s
that your gun is your most valuable
asset this particular robber seemed to
forget that fact as he attempted to rob
the Halifax Bank in London in the bag
demanding the teller fill the bag with
money he accidentally gave his gun to
the teller instead of the bag after a
brief moment of confusion the bank
worker retreated forcing the robber to
flee at least he managed to escape with
a bank employees bicycle and so we still
don’t know his name if you don’t come
out of there I’m gonna have to drag you
out you can try but you’ll never catch
me do you agree with our list
what other criminals bring new meaning
to the phrase thickest thieves for more
exciting top 10s published every day be
sure to subscribe to watchmojo.com
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