hey did you guys hear the one about the
two guys that tried to rip off the ATM
machine yeah the geniuses thought they
could rip the phone off of one of those
so what they did is they attach the
steel chain to the funding machine and
to the front of their bumper but instead
when they show up they didn’t rip off
the machine they ripped off the front
bumper scare the two the two thieves
left but they forgot that they left the
chain which was attached to the machine
which is also attached to the bumper
into the license plate the police caught
up with them later that evening hey did
you guys hear the one about the guy that
was robbing jewelry stores by throwing
bricks through the front window yeah he
got caught the other night apparently
tried to throw a brick through a
plexiglass window Brooke mouths off the
window hit him in the face knocked him
out until the cops got there hey did you
guys hear the one about the guy I got
caught robbing vending machines the cops
arrested him for two reasons the first
reason was because he inexplicably ran
from them well while he was just hanging
around some vending machines and the
second reason was when he tried to post
his four hundred dollar bill he paid for
it all in coins hey did you guys hear
the one about the guy that was so
desperate to wash his car that he
actually backed it up into the
Mississippi that’s right in hannibal
missouri this guy backed up his car into
the mississippi river but only a foot of
water but the thing is when he got out
of the car to clean it the car floated
downriver luckily the cops were able to
retrieve the card not too far away when
they try to lay charges they decided not
to because they realize you can’t charge
someone for being stupid now I know cops
are there to serve and protect and to
right the wrongs but this is going a
little too far you guys hear about this
one guy walks into a police station
there’s a sergeant sitting at the desk
puts a bag of cocaine in front of
sergeant sergeant looks and goes what’s
this he goes there’s a substandard cut I
like you to arrest the guy that sold it
to me so get this the guy walked into a
drugstore pulls out a gun tells everyone
it’s a robbery so that’s getting the
money and then he decides to pull out a
garbage bag and put it over his head
only to realize there’s no holes for him
to see through
two guys that tried to rip off the ATM
machine yeah the geniuses thought they
could rip the phone off of one of those
so what they did is they attach the
steel chain to the funding machine and
to the front of their bumper but instead
when they show up they didn’t rip off
the machine they ripped off the front
bumper scare the two the two thieves
left but they forgot that they left the
chain which was attached to the machine
which is also attached to the bumper
into the license plate the police caught
up with them later that evening hey did
you guys hear the one about the guy that
was robbing jewelry stores by throwing
bricks through the front window yeah he
got caught the other night apparently
tried to throw a brick through a
plexiglass window Brooke mouths off the
window hit him in the face knocked him
out until the cops got there hey did you
guys hear the one about the guy I got
caught robbing vending machines the cops
arrested him for two reasons the first
reason was because he inexplicably ran
from them well while he was just hanging
around some vending machines and the
second reason was when he tried to post
his four hundred dollar bill he paid for
it all in coins hey did you guys hear
the one about the guy that was so
desperate to wash his car that he
actually backed it up into the
Mississippi that’s right in hannibal
missouri this guy backed up his car into
the mississippi river but only a foot of
water but the thing is when he got out
of the car to clean it the car floated
downriver luckily the cops were able to
retrieve the card not too far away when
they try to lay charges they decided not
to because they realize you can’t charge
someone for being stupid now I know cops
are there to serve and protect and to
right the wrongs but this is going a
little too far you guys hear about this
one guy walks into a police station
there’s a sergeant sitting at the desk
puts a bag of cocaine in front of
sergeant sergeant looks and goes what’s
this he goes there’s a substandard cut I
like you to arrest the guy that sold it
to me so get this the guy walked into a
drugstore pulls out a gun tells everyone
it’s a robbery so that’s getting the
money and then he decides to pull out a
garbage bag and put it over his head
only to realize there’s no holes for him
to see through
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