hi I’m famous comedian John Hastings and
this is of course watchmojo.com what are
we talking about tonight today whenever
you’re watching this what we’re going to
talk about is women yes this one’s for
the ladies particularly a part of the
ladies we call it the vagina yes the
vagina
this one’s x-rated so you may want to
earmuff the kids so ladies and gentlemen
the vagina has been a very complex
organism men have spent years upon years
trying to figure out what’s going on
with that we’ve gone to Lilith Fair to
talk to lesbians to give us a roadmap to
figure out how to deal with it and we
don’t know how but luckily thankfully
the medical product community in North
America has come up with some nice
innovations to help the ladies and the
lads – let’s talk about them they got
one called the tightening yeah that’s
nothing you want to put near your crotch
isn’t it ladies and gentlemen
and how are they gonna market this let
me tell you what their advertising
slogan is buddies and pals it is the
tightening experience the pleasure of
losing your virginity every time you
have intercourse do you remember that
pleasure ladies and gentlemen do you
ever want to experience that again when
I did it was like putting a piece of
furniture from Ikea
together for the first time you know
what I mean you’re in the dark and
you’re sweaty and members of your family
are standing around there – shouting
instructions and nothing makes sense and
they give you a tool and it’s working
but not in the way you thought it would
and you’re tired and you’re turned
around and all of a sudden you just have
pieces left over do you know what I mean
and it doesn’t stop there because they
now have a pill yes a pill that you
beautiful women you could take you could
take it and it will blow the size of
your clitoris up yes so men can find it
and prove its existence cuz listen up
I’m pretty sure it’s still on the list
with unicorns and werewolves okay just
put that in your mind grapes and soap
but how are they going to market this
it’s an advertising world you know what
I mean maybe it’s gonna be a weird
infomercial a guy sitting in a creepy
dark apartment wearing like you know a
sports coat and boxers and nothing else
being like all right ladies I know your
man friend comes over and he’s
hanging around on your bingo bangle like
he’s using one of those old-style rotary
telephones pleasing you he is not will
fear not now with clitoral max yes
little max your bing-bang-boom will be
blown up to about the size of a
dartboard so all it’ll have to do is
high-five that shit and you’ll be
orgasming for the next week for the
internet and for vaginas my name is John
Hastings celebrate cel five-five good
one John
this is of course watchmojo.com what are
we talking about tonight today whenever
you’re watching this what we’re going to
talk about is women yes this one’s for
the ladies particularly a part of the
ladies we call it the vagina yes the
vagina
this one’s x-rated so you may want to
earmuff the kids so ladies and gentlemen
the vagina has been a very complex
organism men have spent years upon years
trying to figure out what’s going on
with that we’ve gone to Lilith Fair to
talk to lesbians to give us a roadmap to
figure out how to deal with it and we
don’t know how but luckily thankfully
the medical product community in North
America has come up with some nice
innovations to help the ladies and the
lads – let’s talk about them they got
one called the tightening yeah that’s
nothing you want to put near your crotch
isn’t it ladies and gentlemen
and how are they gonna market this let
me tell you what their advertising
slogan is buddies and pals it is the
tightening experience the pleasure of
losing your virginity every time you
have intercourse do you remember that
pleasure ladies and gentlemen do you
ever want to experience that again when
I did it was like putting a piece of
furniture from Ikea
together for the first time you know
what I mean you’re in the dark and
you’re sweaty and members of your family
are standing around there – shouting
instructions and nothing makes sense and
they give you a tool and it’s working
but not in the way you thought it would
and you’re tired and you’re turned
around and all of a sudden you just have
pieces left over do you know what I mean
and it doesn’t stop there because they
now have a pill yes a pill that you
beautiful women you could take you could
take it and it will blow the size of
your clitoris up yes so men can find it
and prove its existence cuz listen up
I’m pretty sure it’s still on the list
with unicorns and werewolves okay just
put that in your mind grapes and soap
but how are they going to market this
it’s an advertising world you know what
I mean maybe it’s gonna be a weird
infomercial a guy sitting in a creepy
dark apartment wearing like you know a
sports coat and boxers and nothing else
being like all right ladies I know your
man friend comes over and he’s
hanging around on your bingo bangle like
he’s using one of those old-style rotary
telephones pleasing you he is not will
fear not now with clitoral max yes
little max your bing-bang-boom will be
blown up to about the size of a
dartboard so all it’ll have to do is
high-five that shit and you’ll be
orgasming for the next week for the
internet and for vaginas my name is John
Hastings celebrate cel five-five good
one John
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