Press "Enter" to skip to content

John’s Rant of the Day: Heavy Metal and Jazz


what’s up chicken peas John Hastings
here for watchmojo common today ladies
and gentleman we r going to talk about
me we’re going to bring it down we’re
going to talk about my two favorite
types of music number one heavy metal
mmm nothing gets my blood pumping quite
like seeing the british guy long hair
down to here or nothing but leather
chaps and a soccer jersey talking about
the devil because you see heavy metal is
the hardest most angry music played by
the biggest bunch of wussies you will
ever find on the planet Earth you know
what I mean you’ve been listening to the
double live album you’re angry at your
girlfriend you just tore up your room
posters and records it’s true on the
shag carpeting and you’re listening to
that double live album there’s the voice
of the singer in trowing the next song
alright we always his next song was
written by me in the drummer do we
stayed up for four days you’re like oh
my god doing cocaine is so badass and
then just like no no I know what you
think we want only drugs we’re playing
Dungeons and Dragons know your heart
false but luckily my other type of music
my name I think the greatest type of
music in the world even better than
heavy metal is jazz this thing about
this jazz is the most sweet soft
romantic music you can find played by
the biggest batch of heroin addled
crazies to ever come out of the womb you
notice how you listen to a jazz live um
and they never introduce themselves
because they probably go something like
this all right so this next song is
written by me after me and my buddy
Travers got into a fishing line or
accident of the coast of Newfoundland he
swallowed a red tablet that i’m pretty
sure was from that majors movie q dude
and we ended up in singapore and strava
stole guys glass eye and I had to
committal Bowl just to get out of there
anyway the song is of course titled a
love supreme
and nothing will make your day make
sense after you hear someone prattle
along about not being able to find a
vein in his cock to shoot heroin into
and then having him break out into a
beautiful romantic song cycle of life
right there I just blew your minds go
pick up Coltrane pick up Miles Davis and
have a great day for watchmojo.com and
the internet my name is John Hastings
Please follow and like us: