I love the comedy fest of all there were
so many comics on my plane we had to go
through an insecurity checkpoint it was
so fun I don’t get out much this is big
for me
I’m addicted to the internet anybody
else here think they’re addicted to the
Internet I check out of the hotel I try
to go online on my laptop it doesn’t
work so I call the front desk ladies
like sorry sir we don’t have internet
service in all our hotel rooms but don’t
worry we have free wireless in the lobby
oh my gosh this girl asked me out one
time she told me she was an actress in
porno movies so I was like alright well
when do you want to go out she says well
I’m working Tuesday and Wednesday how
about Monday one time my girlfriend I we
rented her Jewish porno movie it’s
have you seen now one it’s a sequel to
which I think was a remake of ill you
know back in the states the economy’s
falling apart my friends are losing
their jobs the Starbucks near my house
closed down I had to walk across the
I saw my nephew’s the other day that was
really fun I have two nephews I took him
to Disneyland you know he never been on
a roller coaster before so you have to
be 37 inches to go on Space Mountain
right so he just makes it 37 inches
right we go on Space Mountain it’s mind
blowing you know afterwards of course he
has to pee we go to the men’s room and
my nephew he’s just tall enough now
where he can use the regular urinal he
doesn’t have to use the little guy
urinal on the end but he could barely
reach so he has to you know rest it
right on top he looked at me he was so
proud and he looked at the guy next to
us
he’s like I’m 37 inches guys like I
– forget Disney join the circus
I feel a lot of love in the room tonight
I want to try something special I wrote
a love poem but I got a I asked for a
keyboard but I don’t play keyboard I
need someone to come up and play anyone
at all I don’t care how old male or
female just to play a few chords it’ll
be really fun somebody sir your hand
okay come up here oh my gosh how you
doing sir oh my god it’s like Kenny G
I’m not sure that’s a good idea how’s it
going man
what’s your name it was going pretty
well up to now my name is Scott
[Music]
are you mocking me are you mocking me
whoa whoa hey go all right
I think she’s Mozart if they got hit by
who does your hair a weedwacker
[Applause]
that was good
don’t get mad no we’re a good team Scott
well it’s been a long time
45 seconds all right there’s a love poem
little change them we’ll play something
wow you’re good can we quit dim the
perfect
is a love poem
her long tan legs her dark bedroom eyes
her soft sexy voice her large but
I’m pretty good was that alright huh was
that that was the most better think
you’re awesome it’s the words are so
touching
[Laughter]
who taught you how to place so well I
don’t remember how messed up are you
right now what you do roofie yourself do
you have any more poems yes there’s a
love poem if you want to join hands if
you’re with someone you love this poems
called please some music what’s it about
it’s sad about love it’s poems called I
think we should see other people
[Music]
roses are red
get the hell out all right I love you
guys thank you so so much
[Applause]
[Music]
check out these other great clips from
WatchMojo and be sure to subscribe and
ring the bell to be notified about our latest videos
so many comics on my plane we had to go
through an insecurity checkpoint it was
so fun I don’t get out much this is big
for me
I’m addicted to the internet anybody
else here think they’re addicted to the
Internet I check out of the hotel I try
to go online on my laptop it doesn’t
work so I call the front desk ladies
like sorry sir we don’t have internet
service in all our hotel rooms but don’t
worry we have free wireless in the lobby
oh my gosh this girl asked me out one
time she told me she was an actress in
porno movies so I was like alright well
when do you want to go out she says well
I’m working Tuesday and Wednesday how
about Monday one time my girlfriend I we
rented her Jewish porno movie it’s
have you seen now one it’s a sequel to
which I think was a remake of ill you
know back in the states the economy’s
falling apart my friends are losing
their jobs the Starbucks near my house
closed down I had to walk across the
I saw my nephew’s the other day that was
really fun I have two nephews I took him
to Disneyland you know he never been on
a roller coaster before so you have to
be 37 inches to go on Space Mountain
right so he just makes it 37 inches
right we go on Space Mountain it’s mind
blowing you know afterwards of course he
has to pee we go to the men’s room and
my nephew he’s just tall enough now
where he can use the regular urinal he
doesn’t have to use the little guy
urinal on the end but he could barely
reach so he has to you know rest it
right on top he looked at me he was so
proud and he looked at the guy next to
us
he’s like I’m 37 inches guys like I
– forget Disney join the circus
I feel a lot of love in the room tonight
I want to try something special I wrote
a love poem but I got a I asked for a
keyboard but I don’t play keyboard I
need someone to come up and play anyone
at all I don’t care how old male or
female just to play a few chords it’ll
be really fun somebody sir your hand
okay come up here oh my gosh how you
doing sir oh my god it’s like Kenny G
I’m not sure that’s a good idea how’s it
going man
what’s your name it was going pretty
well up to now my name is Scott
[Music]
are you mocking me are you mocking me
whoa whoa hey go all right
I think she’s Mozart if they got hit by
who does your hair a weedwacker
[Applause]
that was good
don’t get mad no we’re a good team Scott
well it’s been a long time
45 seconds all right there’s a love poem
little change them we’ll play something
wow you’re good can we quit dim the
perfect
is a love poem
her long tan legs her dark bedroom eyes
her soft sexy voice her large but
I’m pretty good was that alright huh was
that that was the most better think
you’re awesome it’s the words are so
touching
[Laughter]
who taught you how to place so well I
don’t remember how messed up are you
right now what you do roofie yourself do
you have any more poems yes there’s a
love poem if you want to join hands if
you’re with someone you love this poems
called please some music what’s it about
it’s sad about love it’s poems called I
think we should see other people
[Music]
roses are red
get the hell out all right I love you
guys thank you so so much
[Applause]
[Music]
check out these other great clips from
WatchMojo and be sure to subscribe and
ring the bell to be notified about our latest videos
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