never go shopping for like a really cute
little sexy black dress and you come
home in an extra-large pepperoni pizza
hi I’m Veronica watchmojo.com and today
were chatting with comedian Vanessa
Hollingshead about her career and we
even get to meet her protege
the way I see it as if Ernest Hemmingway
can write Old Man and the sea completely
shit-faced surely you can figure out how
to do a spreadsheet check a few emails
for the light buzz on you began your
comedy career with just five minutes at
an open mic night what was it that made
you get up on stage that night well I
waited for four and a half hours I had
my temps that when I was a temp I
brought people from my job and it was
four and a half hours I was a nervous
wreck and I was just watching comedians
back and forth and finally when it came
unto me I just remember thinking even
Richard Pryor wouldn’t be funny at this
point they wouldn’t even find Richard
Pryor funding I got a little chuckle but
it was there was something like just in
the telling the story you’re doing it
that I suddenly like I just thought I’m
home I’m home this is what I was meant
to be doing but not everyone wants they
try so what was it that drew you to the
scene
I used to temp and I used to had a
roommate when I lived in Queens she’s
like did you ever think about doing
stand-up comedy like no no what do you
create no no I’m an actress
I’m Shakespearean trained I went to Lee
Strasberg no no and then I was reading a
backstage about how they look for sick
to make sitcoms they use comedians so I
just thought well I could try yeah I
could try I said yeah I’ll try it all
right and again I was like that fearless
quality let me just try and then had to
try and get people to come so you had it
was bringer shows I only had so many
friends so he’s actually going to
12-step groups and you know being like
I’m you know my name is Vanessa I’m a
compulsive overeater I’m doing comedy
and I think I could cut down on my food
you know if I had a little bit of
support I’m going again I’m going to
different anonymous groups running my
few minutes to try and get a laugh out
of them and to get people to come you
know then I was paying my friends to
come
I was temping I was sleeping like two
hours a night living on coffee
watermelon and Nicki cigarettes and just
trying to get my just spending that
whole year trying to get funny while I
was doing you know temping all day and
then I would sleep in the bathroom
stalls and I just I just couldn’t look
like this it was meant to be
I just read your Facebook then they got
Google Wave like ride the wave you gotta
be invited it’s like the Studio 54 of
social applications I can’t get them so
credit and then Google everything is
like Google right google it you can
actually satellite get photographs of
brain with photos and bring ulis
actually Google myself and there was
change smoking making what do you find
inspires your sets most I’d probably say
like true to life stuff I like to take
really true things that have happened
that have been horrible and make it
funny I love to drink I mean I love to
drink
matter of fact my friends have tried so
many interventions with me I just leave
the plastic folding chairs set up in a
semi-circle my apartment like I tried to
get pregnant and that didn’t work so I
was able to do a whole bit on
infertility when my husband passed away
I said he left me no one knows and I was
able to do a bit on like drinking
alcoholism drug addiction chain-smoking
losing your mind in such a way that no
one knew what did what had happened and
with my parents doing drugs my whole
life and I was like the straight
daughter I was able to take their crazy
life and turn it around and make it
really funny but I try and take
everything that’s truthful and find the
humor in it Jesus turned the water into
wine he didn’t turn the lines word I
think I’ve been crucified a lot earlier
and there already
I’m friend you like you’re not Jesus
like I can’t race like them maybe I’ll
get a vision
maybe I’ll go Vanessa my child I want
you to walk amongst the lepers I’ll be
like oh Jesus how I want to move to
Plattsburgh with Jan she’s my future
comedian and we’ve been working together
now for the last what four years yeah I
want you guys to know I found a husband
yeah it’s not mine well thank God he’s
not mine she’s on his wife when I first
started doing comedy a friend of mine
said I should look for a female in New
York who I wanted who I wanted to be
like and after seeing tons of comedy I
sought Vanessa honor of roast for
another comedian and years later I told
him I want Vanessa to be my mentor and
years later it just happened and I’m
trying to date by trying since Rob isn’t
it like trying people I don’t know where
to go because some places I go hey sexy
some places I go and I am NOT in Playboy
convention at best on a 4 or a 5 but at
a Star Trek convention I have a 7 of 9
and we became like so close and I was
high strong judgmental you gotta do this
you gotta write you gotta like get into
the art form and I was I can hang no I
straight mano and she’d be like you know
just relax loosen up a little bit yeah I
used to be a big girl I lost about 50
pounds on me Watchers
baby is a big girl because when I was a
big girl I had secret admirers men would
have sex with me and say let’s keep this
a secret
well thank you very much ladies is
really great having you thank you it’s
great it’s great being a mother yeah
little sexy black dress and you come
home in an extra-large pepperoni pizza
hi I’m Veronica watchmojo.com and today
were chatting with comedian Vanessa
Hollingshead about her career and we
even get to meet her protege
the way I see it as if Ernest Hemmingway
can write Old Man and the sea completely
shit-faced surely you can figure out how
to do a spreadsheet check a few emails
for the light buzz on you began your
comedy career with just five minutes at
an open mic night what was it that made
you get up on stage that night well I
waited for four and a half hours I had
my temps that when I was a temp I
brought people from my job and it was
four and a half hours I was a nervous
wreck and I was just watching comedians
back and forth and finally when it came
unto me I just remember thinking even
Richard Pryor wouldn’t be funny at this
point they wouldn’t even find Richard
Pryor funding I got a little chuckle but
it was there was something like just in
the telling the story you’re doing it
that I suddenly like I just thought I’m
home I’m home this is what I was meant
to be doing but not everyone wants they
try so what was it that drew you to the
scene
I used to temp and I used to had a
roommate when I lived in Queens she’s
like did you ever think about doing
stand-up comedy like no no what do you
create no no I’m an actress
I’m Shakespearean trained I went to Lee
Strasberg no no and then I was reading a
backstage about how they look for sick
to make sitcoms they use comedians so I
just thought well I could try yeah I
could try I said yeah I’ll try it all
right and again I was like that fearless
quality let me just try and then had to
try and get people to come so you had it
was bringer shows I only had so many
friends so he’s actually going to
12-step groups and you know being like
I’m you know my name is Vanessa I’m a
compulsive overeater I’m doing comedy
and I think I could cut down on my food
you know if I had a little bit of
support I’m going again I’m going to
different anonymous groups running my
few minutes to try and get a laugh out
of them and to get people to come you
know then I was paying my friends to
come
I was temping I was sleeping like two
hours a night living on coffee
watermelon and Nicki cigarettes and just
trying to get my just spending that
whole year trying to get funny while I
was doing you know temping all day and
then I would sleep in the bathroom
stalls and I just I just couldn’t look
like this it was meant to be
I just read your Facebook then they got
Google Wave like ride the wave you gotta
be invited it’s like the Studio 54 of
social applications I can’t get them so
credit and then Google everything is
like Google right google it you can
actually satellite get photographs of
brain with photos and bring ulis
actually Google myself and there was
change smoking making what do you find
inspires your sets most I’d probably say
like true to life stuff I like to take
really true things that have happened
that have been horrible and make it
funny I love to drink I mean I love to
drink
matter of fact my friends have tried so
many interventions with me I just leave
the plastic folding chairs set up in a
semi-circle my apartment like I tried to
get pregnant and that didn’t work so I
was able to do a whole bit on
infertility when my husband passed away
I said he left me no one knows and I was
able to do a bit on like drinking
alcoholism drug addiction chain-smoking
losing your mind in such a way that no
one knew what did what had happened and
with my parents doing drugs my whole
life and I was like the straight
daughter I was able to take their crazy
life and turn it around and make it
really funny but I try and take
everything that’s truthful and find the
humor in it Jesus turned the water into
wine he didn’t turn the lines word I
think I’ve been crucified a lot earlier
and there already
I’m friend you like you’re not Jesus
like I can’t race like them maybe I’ll
get a vision
maybe I’ll go Vanessa my child I want
you to walk amongst the lepers I’ll be
like oh Jesus how I want to move to
Plattsburgh with Jan she’s my future
comedian and we’ve been working together
now for the last what four years yeah I
want you guys to know I found a husband
yeah it’s not mine well thank God he’s
not mine she’s on his wife when I first
started doing comedy a friend of mine
said I should look for a female in New
York who I wanted who I wanted to be
like and after seeing tons of comedy I
sought Vanessa honor of roast for
another comedian and years later I told
him I want Vanessa to be my mentor and
years later it just happened and I’m
trying to date by trying since Rob isn’t
it like trying people I don’t know where
to go because some places I go hey sexy
some places I go and I am NOT in Playboy
convention at best on a 4 or a 5 but at
a Star Trek convention I have a 7 of 9
and we became like so close and I was
high strong judgmental you gotta do this
you gotta write you gotta like get into
the art form and I was I can hang no I
straight mano and she’d be like you know
just relax loosen up a little bit yeah I
used to be a big girl I lost about 50
pounds on me Watchers
baby is a big girl because when I was a
big girl I had secret admirers men would
have sex with me and say let’s keep this
a secret
well thank you very much ladies is
really great having you thank you it’s
great it’s great being a mother yeah
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