[Music]
back in college I was in the store
buying some clothes and while I was
making my purchase the salesperson at
the register asked me who helped me
which is a reasonable question but I
panicked I was like he’s tall lean
dressed in gray slacks and a burgundy
slim fit v-neck sweater over a white
collared shirt loafers short hair brown
I would have told them his GPA if I had
known it and it would have helped I said
everything about that man except that he
was black I had been raised to believe
that the way to be a good not racist
white person was to not see color which
is unhelpful if you can’t see color
you can’t talk about color and if you
can’t talk about race gender class or
ability you can’t understand it you
can’t understand the part you play in it
and you can’t understand the part it
plays in you honestly I was so bad at
this and partially it was difficult to
confront and talk about because systems
of oppression and by that I mean racism
sexism classism ableism among others are
both so massive so baked into the
structure of our lives while their
impacts are so personal intimate even
they’re in our heads and our hearts and
our bedrooms no matter who you are they
are currently and I mean at this very
moment impacting your life and all of
our lives in visible and invisible ways
but it’s very easy in white liberal
environments by random example to
acknowledge that these systems exist but
to see them as these huge issues that
are over they’re not here and as a
product of a white liberal environment
it was almost too easy for me to not
really see myself as part of
so I vacillated between avoiding the
conversation altogether and trying
really hard to figure out how to say the
exact right thing which is difficult
when you don’t know what that is or
fully understand the problem to get
better to learn how to have direct and
personal conversations about injustice I
needed practice I needed time and I
needed space dedicated to these
discussions discussions that are
grounded in the fact that these massive
systems trickled down like rain leaving
us all in a permanent state of damp
discussions that would allow me to move
through shame to learn how to be
accountable to practice being brave
enough to try even when I get it wrong
and learn how to get it right so I made
a game I created a facilitated social
justice card game because when we play
games at least three things happen we
all have to agree to a set of rules in
order to play we create safety we build
community and we are put on the spot but
we are allowed to fail after all it’s
just a game
it’s called your privileges showing and
it’s an interactive and experiential
approach to diversity training built on
a three round card game in each round
players get the chance to practice
having the kinds of conversations that
they avoid and around one players get to
practice recognizing and naming
injustice in the world and around 2 you
get to reflect on and share social and
justice in your own life and in round
three you got to answer complex
questions under two minutes times and
every round you do some variation of
listening to a scenario that’s based on
real-life current events and playing
your cards and there are race cards
sexism cards and privilege cards and
I’ve broken those down into three levels
of severity grey cards are
microaggressions they call out action or
speech that have a lack of awareness in
them but generally no malice and they
might even be an attempt to help like a
boss telling a server you’ll get better
tips if you just unbutton that top
or a white person touching a black
person’s hair without asking because
it’s just so beautiful or asking a
person of color where they’re from and
when they answer saying yeah but where
are you really from yellow cards are
what I call unnecessary roughness yellow
cards call out action or speech that
have willful ignorance in them and maybe
even some malice like when someone
doesn’t care that they’re being
offensive and it’s almost certainly
yellow or above if they start off with
I’m not racist or sexist but like
someone saying I’m not racist but I just
don’t think that black football players
are natural quarterbacks or I’m cool
with gay people just don’t shove it in
my face or if a friend comes to you and
says I’ve got depression I’m on some
anti-depressive meds and you say why
depression is a choice just shake it off
it’s all in your head red cards are the
most severe like a red card and soccer
red cards are overt systemic deeply
ignorant and malicious like the fact
that Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby
both assaulted women over 30 years
without consequence or when Alabama
congressman mo Brooks said that people
who lead good lives and do things the
right way should pay less than those
with pre-existing conditions or the fact
that right now in Texas prisons books by
Langston Hughes and James Baldwin are
banned but mine Kumpf
and books by white supremacists are
allowed you don’t need to agree with my
card choices by the way this isn’t
prescriptive the point of the game isn’t
first all to agree on what exactly we
think is gray yellow or red depending on
who you are and what you’ve been through
that day what could be a great card to
me could be yellow or even red to you
the conversation is the point we choose
what we think makes sense to us and then
we share and explore why and sometimes
we make mistakes you kind of have to be
willing to make mistakes in order to
play this game at all which brings me to
my favorite card in the whole deck but
that’s okay card but that’s okay card is
there to acknowledge and reward the
brave
and the vulnerability required to admit
our mistakes because that’s how we grow
that’s ok card can be played by anyone
at any time it’s worth 1/2 a point and I
encourage you to be generous so I made
this game and I look like this I am an
educated middle-class white woman and I
think it’s important to acknowledge that
and also acknowledge that part of what
has allowed me to create this game and
then facilitate it is the privilege the
class privilege the white privilege that
I have and because of that privilege
there is a chance that you don’t think
it’s my place to do this kind of work
which is fine my privilege is showing
and this is my way of grappling with and
using it hopefully for good and every
time I run a game with a new group of
people I always tell them that while
this will be fun and it will be you’re
going to feel uncomfortable and you are
going to be bad at this and that’s
because privileged people by definition
we get less practice talking explicitly
and directly about racism about sexism
about privilege the ways we feel about
them the ways we participate in them and
even for those of us like myself who do
talk about them directly there’s always
new things to learn and unlearn so
essentially what I’m trying to say is
welcome we are all terrible at this so
if you find yourself feeling defensive
if you notice shame creeping up
unexpectedly
don’t take that as a sign that you’re
doing it wrong take it as a sign that
you’re doing it right and speaking of
doing it right it’s a game is there a
way to win why yes there is but all you
get if you win is a sticker I designed
it’s a gold star that says you’re a
perfectly adequate human because there
is no winning in social justice so I ran
a pilot program at Berklee College of
Music in fall 2016 in which a group of
students played the game four times over
the
course of a semester the students who
signed up were all relatively aware
thought of themselves as actively good
people who care about inclusion equity
and justice and even though they started
out in a really solid place throughout
the course of the program they still
learned that they weren’t as comfortable
talking about these issues as they
thought they were they learned that
being good people
does not make you immune to racism or
sexism that in fact these problems are
their problems and they have a lot of
work to do they were surprised by how
personal the experience was they
honestly did not expect it to hit home
for them to reach into their lives to
touch their friendships their childhoods
but most of all it was really important
that they had a chance to come together
regularly to play because engaging with
a discomfort of an hour part in
injustice is not something we get to
just set and forget it’s a practice like
yoga or meditation this is something
that that if we do it and we do it
regularly changes the way we understand
and interact with the world and we are
never done this is a process we will be
continuing if we’re lucky for our entire
lives back when my parents were getting
married my white anglo-saxon Protestant
mother was pregnant with my brother and
marrying my father who was Jewish and
this created tension and difficulty with
their parents my father’s parents were
embarrassed my mother’s parents were
upset this is a break on both sides the
family it took years to heal fast
forward my parents been married for 26
years they have three children and my
grandfather Bob who had been raised in a
family of farmers was nearing the end of
his life during this time my mother
would fly out to Bismarck North Dakota
often to stay with her father and at
night the two of them would lay
side-by-side in his
and talk it was a sweet moment for both
of them a moment of easy together nests
after a lifetime of love
misunderstanding and difficulty and as
they lay there in silence one night my
grandfather suddenly opened his eyes and
said hybrids what my mother had no idea
what he was talking about hybrids he
said again that’s why those kids are so
amazing they’re hybrids this is what I
mean by intimate this was my grandfather
however imperfectly finally accepting
his daughter’s choice to marry a man of
a different culture and faith and to be
able to see the good that’s come out of
it these are the choices that led to my
birth shaped my life it doesn’t get more
personal than that
my goal for this game is that it help us
be better sooner but the cards are a
tool they don’t matter
not really I’ve run games without the
cards with friends and bars just begin
practice recognizing and naming and
justice in your life and then do
something about it apologize and do
better stand up and save something even
when it’s uncomfortable even when it
costs you this is a lifelong process and
all we can do is begin but we have to do
at least that you are all perfectly
adequate
thank you
you
back in college I was in the store
buying some clothes and while I was
making my purchase the salesperson at
the register asked me who helped me
which is a reasonable question but I
panicked I was like he’s tall lean
dressed in gray slacks and a burgundy
slim fit v-neck sweater over a white
collared shirt loafers short hair brown
I would have told them his GPA if I had
known it and it would have helped I said
everything about that man except that he
was black I had been raised to believe
that the way to be a good not racist
white person was to not see color which
is unhelpful if you can’t see color
you can’t talk about color and if you
can’t talk about race gender class or
ability you can’t understand it you
can’t understand the part you play in it
and you can’t understand the part it
plays in you honestly I was so bad at
this and partially it was difficult to
confront and talk about because systems
of oppression and by that I mean racism
sexism classism ableism among others are
both so massive so baked into the
structure of our lives while their
impacts are so personal intimate even
they’re in our heads and our hearts and
our bedrooms no matter who you are they
are currently and I mean at this very
moment impacting your life and all of
our lives in visible and invisible ways
but it’s very easy in white liberal
environments by random example to
acknowledge that these systems exist but
to see them as these huge issues that
are over they’re not here and as a
product of a white liberal environment
it was almost too easy for me to not
really see myself as part of
so I vacillated between avoiding the
conversation altogether and trying
really hard to figure out how to say the
exact right thing which is difficult
when you don’t know what that is or
fully understand the problem to get
better to learn how to have direct and
personal conversations about injustice I
needed practice I needed time and I
needed space dedicated to these
discussions discussions that are
grounded in the fact that these massive
systems trickled down like rain leaving
us all in a permanent state of damp
discussions that would allow me to move
through shame to learn how to be
accountable to practice being brave
enough to try even when I get it wrong
and learn how to get it right so I made
a game I created a facilitated social
justice card game because when we play
games at least three things happen we
all have to agree to a set of rules in
order to play we create safety we build
community and we are put on the spot but
we are allowed to fail after all it’s
just a game
it’s called your privileges showing and
it’s an interactive and experiential
approach to diversity training built on
a three round card game in each round
players get the chance to practice
having the kinds of conversations that
they avoid and around one players get to
practice recognizing and naming
injustice in the world and around 2 you
get to reflect on and share social and
justice in your own life and in round
three you got to answer complex
questions under two minutes times and
every round you do some variation of
listening to a scenario that’s based on
real-life current events and playing
your cards and there are race cards
sexism cards and privilege cards and
I’ve broken those down into three levels
of severity grey cards are
microaggressions they call out action or
speech that have a lack of awareness in
them but generally no malice and they
might even be an attempt to help like a
boss telling a server you’ll get better
tips if you just unbutton that top
or a white person touching a black
person’s hair without asking because
it’s just so beautiful or asking a
person of color where they’re from and
when they answer saying yeah but where
are you really from yellow cards are
what I call unnecessary roughness yellow
cards call out action or speech that
have willful ignorance in them and maybe
even some malice like when someone
doesn’t care that they’re being
offensive and it’s almost certainly
yellow or above if they start off with
I’m not racist or sexist but like
someone saying I’m not racist but I just
don’t think that black football players
are natural quarterbacks or I’m cool
with gay people just don’t shove it in
my face or if a friend comes to you and
says I’ve got depression I’m on some
anti-depressive meds and you say why
depression is a choice just shake it off
it’s all in your head red cards are the
most severe like a red card and soccer
red cards are overt systemic deeply
ignorant and malicious like the fact
that Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby
both assaulted women over 30 years
without consequence or when Alabama
congressman mo Brooks said that people
who lead good lives and do things the
right way should pay less than those
with pre-existing conditions or the fact
that right now in Texas prisons books by
Langston Hughes and James Baldwin are
banned but mine Kumpf
and books by white supremacists are
allowed you don’t need to agree with my
card choices by the way this isn’t
prescriptive the point of the game isn’t
first all to agree on what exactly we
think is gray yellow or red depending on
who you are and what you’ve been through
that day what could be a great card to
me could be yellow or even red to you
the conversation is the point we choose
what we think makes sense to us and then
we share and explore why and sometimes
we make mistakes you kind of have to be
willing to make mistakes in order to
play this game at all which brings me to
my favorite card in the whole deck but
that’s okay card but that’s okay card is
there to acknowledge and reward the
brave
and the vulnerability required to admit
our mistakes because that’s how we grow
that’s ok card can be played by anyone
at any time it’s worth 1/2 a point and I
encourage you to be generous so I made
this game and I look like this I am an
educated middle-class white woman and I
think it’s important to acknowledge that
and also acknowledge that part of what
has allowed me to create this game and
then facilitate it is the privilege the
class privilege the white privilege that
I have and because of that privilege
there is a chance that you don’t think
it’s my place to do this kind of work
which is fine my privilege is showing
and this is my way of grappling with and
using it hopefully for good and every
time I run a game with a new group of
people I always tell them that while
this will be fun and it will be you’re
going to feel uncomfortable and you are
going to be bad at this and that’s
because privileged people by definition
we get less practice talking explicitly
and directly about racism about sexism
about privilege the ways we feel about
them the ways we participate in them and
even for those of us like myself who do
talk about them directly there’s always
new things to learn and unlearn so
essentially what I’m trying to say is
welcome we are all terrible at this so
if you find yourself feeling defensive
if you notice shame creeping up
unexpectedly
don’t take that as a sign that you’re
doing it wrong take it as a sign that
you’re doing it right and speaking of
doing it right it’s a game is there a
way to win why yes there is but all you
get if you win is a sticker I designed
it’s a gold star that says you’re a
perfectly adequate human because there
is no winning in social justice so I ran
a pilot program at Berklee College of
Music in fall 2016 in which a group of
students played the game four times over
the
course of a semester the students who
signed up were all relatively aware
thought of themselves as actively good
people who care about inclusion equity
and justice and even though they started
out in a really solid place throughout
the course of the program they still
learned that they weren’t as comfortable
talking about these issues as they
thought they were they learned that
being good people
does not make you immune to racism or
sexism that in fact these problems are
their problems and they have a lot of
work to do they were surprised by how
personal the experience was they
honestly did not expect it to hit home
for them to reach into their lives to
touch their friendships their childhoods
but most of all it was really important
that they had a chance to come together
regularly to play because engaging with
a discomfort of an hour part in
injustice is not something we get to
just set and forget it’s a practice like
yoga or meditation this is something
that that if we do it and we do it
regularly changes the way we understand
and interact with the world and we are
never done this is a process we will be
continuing if we’re lucky for our entire
lives back when my parents were getting
married my white anglo-saxon Protestant
mother was pregnant with my brother and
marrying my father who was Jewish and
this created tension and difficulty with
their parents my father’s parents were
embarrassed my mother’s parents were
upset this is a break on both sides the
family it took years to heal fast
forward my parents been married for 26
years they have three children and my
grandfather Bob who had been raised in a
family of farmers was nearing the end of
his life during this time my mother
would fly out to Bismarck North Dakota
often to stay with her father and at
night the two of them would lay
side-by-side in his
and talk it was a sweet moment for both
of them a moment of easy together nests
after a lifetime of love
misunderstanding and difficulty and as
they lay there in silence one night my
grandfather suddenly opened his eyes and
said hybrids what my mother had no idea
what he was talking about hybrids he
said again that’s why those kids are so
amazing they’re hybrids this is what I
mean by intimate this was my grandfather
however imperfectly finally accepting
his daughter’s choice to marry a man of
a different culture and faith and to be
able to see the good that’s come out of
it these are the choices that led to my
birth shaped my life it doesn’t get more
personal than that
my goal for this game is that it help us
be better sooner but the cards are a
tool they don’t matter
not really I’ve run games without the
cards with friends and bars just begin
practice recognizing and naming and
justice in your life and then do
something about it apologize and do
better stand up and save something even
when it’s uncomfortable even when it
costs you this is a lifelong process and
all we can do is begin but we have to do
at least that you are all perfectly
adequate
thank you
you
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