so what do you see it’s a rock it’s a
rock but somebody that knows about rocks
knew that there was more to this and
they cut into it and they saw this but
their curiosity didn’t stop there
they cut it again and they saw this a
magnificence now I don’t know a lot
about rocks but I know about people and
I am convinced that this is a wonderful
metaphor for each one of us that inside
each one of us there is an inner
magnificence I think that that was what
was behind Abraham Maslow’s personality
theory about how to get that
magnificence to self-actualize to self
transcend in working with people through
the years I realized there are three
kinds of people they’re the people that
Abraham Maslow was thinking about when
he created his model of personality
these are the people that are self
actualized self transcended
people like Gandhi people like Abraham
Lincoln people like Mother Teresa where
they’re living from that place they’re
expressing that place and it’s
noticeable it’s recognizable so I’m
curious if Abraham Maslow were alive and
we’re here today if you are one of those
people that you think he would look to
and say yep I want to pick you and I
want to pick you to base my personality
theory on raise your hands okay I just
want to be sure I had the right audience
here
the second group of people are those of
us that want to believe this about
ourselves we want to believe that
there’s something magnificent in us but
we’ve been put down we’ve been made fun
of we’ve been criticized we’ve been told
we’re wrong all kinds of negative
experiences and we’ve covered up our
magnificence and instead of the world
seeing our magnificent miss they see our
rockness then there’s a third type of
people and these are the people that
have been so beaten down and beaten up
by life they’ve had so much trauma that
this isn’t even a possibility in their
minds and these are people that are
living lives of quiet desperation I’m
not going to ask any of you to raise
your hand but if that applies to you you
know who I’m talking to
I’m gonna tell you a couple of stories
about me and from that I hope that you
will realize why I am so passionate
about helping others you realize your
magnificence and by realize it I mean
two things one is I want you to know
what’s there at least have the
intellectual idea that somewhere in me
is something magnificent and the second
part of that is to realize it make it
real make it in the world so the world
sees it and you’re magnificent makes a
difference in the world
I’ve always been small I started school
a year early intellectually ready
physically a year behind I was the kid
that at recess when the self-appointed
captains were choosing up teams they
would argue over who had to take me on
their team when I was in Little League
oh that’s really not fair I wasn’t good
enough for a little league I was in the
minor leagues of the little leagues
and I was that kid they put out in right
field and everybody but me hope the ball
would never get to me I love school even
in first grade I was offended if the
teacher didn’t assign homework because I
knew that’s the way you learn you’ll
learn by doing homework and so if the
teacher didn’t assign homework I would
go home and I would sit in front of my
little chalkboard and I would make up
homework for me to do October of 2nd
grade our family had just sat down for
supper heard the town fire alarm go off
it was a really small community we
didn’t have any professional
firefighters and the way it worked was
as soon as somebody knew there was a
fire they sounded the siren and whatever
able-body men were in town would rally
around and go get the one little
firetruck that we had and go fight the
fire
well what little six-year-old boy
doesn’t like sirens and fire trucks so
as soon as I heard it I jumped up from
the table I ran outside and I looked
down the street to see if I could see
the fire truck and in just a moment I
did I watched it cross our street and I
knew the only place it could be going
was the school I ran back inside I
yelled at my parents the schools on fire
ran outside cross the street through the
neighbor’s backyard over the fence onto
the hillside I goddess as close to the
school fire as I felt safe getting I
could feel the heat I could see the men
from the town I could see the fire truck
and it didn’t take me long to realize
the fire was way too big and the
resources of the town weren’t gonna be
enough and the fire was gonna win and as
that was sinking into me some of the big
kids now that’s the third and fourth
graders came up to me and they said
Barry why are you crying
well I hadn’t realized that I was crying
but
there were these quiet tears that were
coming down my cheeks and I looked at
them with great sincerity and I said
we’re not gonna have school tomorrow
yeah that’s what they did to kind of
laughed and I made a decision that day
don’t tell people what you really feel
because if you do they’ll laugh at you
skip to 5th grade middle school assembly
fifth sixth and seventh grade all
gathered in the gym I walked in looked
on the stage and there were all of the
instruments of the orchestra music
appreciation I was so excited I loved
music I couldn’t wait for this assembly
over the course of the presentation the
man that was conducting the presentation
asked a question he said do any of you
know the difference between a fiddle and
a violin any of you know the difference
well I did I raised my hand I don’t
think the guy expected anybody to do
that but when he saw my hand he called
on me so very proudly I stood up and in
my head I’m thinking bass fiddle violin
and so this little fifth grader did an
impromptu comparison and contrast speech
on the difference between a bass fiddle
and a violin and very proudly I sat down
and the guy that was running the
assembly made fun of my answer and the
whole school assembly laughed at me my
answer wasn’t wrong it just was it what
he was looking for what he was looking
for was if we play country in western
music we call it a fiddle if we play
classical music we call it a violin it’s
the same thing it just depends on the
kind of music what we call it but I made
a second decision that day don’t tell
anybody what you really think because if
you do they’ll laugh at you
and so I went through most of my life
thinking there was something wrong with
me
there was something defective in me
there was something deficient in me
there was something that wasn’t normal
in me here’s how it works
we’re born and at our birth we are
magnificent parents proud parents look
at that infant and they see maybe the
most special person in the whole world
and then as we go through life things
happen to us people make fun of us and
we build a layer of protection people
laugh at us and we build another layer
of protection people criticize us and we
put another layer of protection and
inside each one of these layers is fear
anxiety insecurity and this is what we
show the world and this is what we hide
the part of us that is the best of us
because somehow as little kids we think
that that’s very tender and as little
kids it is so fast-forward again I’m in
my late 60’s scrolling through Facebook
one day and I see a facebook ad for the
ohmygod ‘red sprint an Olympic triathlon
and something caught my attention about
that and I investigated a little bit and
I saw that a sprint triathlon a quarter
of a mile of open water swim 12 mile
bike ride 5k trail run I’m thinking I
know how to swim I’ve got a bike I got a
pair of sneakers
this is possible for me in retrospect I
think this was my magnificence trying to
get out and that’s what caught my
attention so I signed up for the
triathlon and I signed up for the
clinics to prepare for the triathlon I
had my first ever full-fledged panic
attack at the open water swim clinic I
had already noticed that I was by far
the oldest person that was in the
clinics the irony was if I had stopped
stand up I could have stood up in the
water but I was so over my head
psychologically emotionally that I
panicked in the midst of my panic attack
the coach got in my face and she said
Barry you know how to swim you’re a
triathlete now do this Wow me a
triathlete so far from this kid that
nobody even won on their team but it
clicked and so I did the triathlon I
didn’t set any records except that day I
was the oldest person to finish but I
came home with a medal saying I am a
triathlete I felt pretty good about me
so as I was kind of basking in that I’d
seen some Spartan events on television
just little clips and my wife and I once
or twice a week we were going to this
little gym in Warwick that was a cardio
kickboxing gym and Heather the owner of
the gym I knew had done some Spartan
events for those of you that aren’t
familiar with Spartan events there are
three categories based on various
distances and you run over very
challenging terrain and you encounter
ridiculous obstacles along the way
so I went to Heather because I knew that
she had done Spartans and I had great
respect for her and her ability as a
trainer and I said Heather you’ve known
me a little bit do you think it would be
possible that I could ever do a Spartan
event and she looked at me and her face
lit up and she said not only can you
you’re going to and here’s the plan in
April you’re gonna do the Beast in
August you’re gonna do the super and
you’re gonna celebrate your 70th
birthday at Fenway Park
completing the Spartan trifecta and
everything in me cringed and I wanted to
say no no you don’t understand I wasn’t
actually thinking about doing it I was
just thinking about do you think it
would be possible she said Barry I’m
gonna train you and you stick with me
and you’re gonna do this the night
before the Beast I had my second panic
attack there were I don’t know eight or
ten or twelve of us in the condo and
there were about 40 from our gym that
we’re doing this beast I was twice the
age of most of them and I’m thinking
they are younger than I am by decades
they are stronger than I am
they are faster than I am what was I
thinking don’t remember much about that
night but I remember the next day I
remember the Beast
it was between 16 and 17 miles of very
challenging terrain over 5,000 feet of
vertical climb 35 ridiculous obstacles
along the way and when I jumped the fire
at the finish line I went off by myself
and I cried like a baby there were tears
of exhaustion tears of joy just
overwhelmed with all kinds of feelings
what made the difference between this
boy that didn’t feel very good about
himself and this man who felt incredibly
proud about what he had accomplished
that day I knew it wasn’t about what
anybody else thought I knew it wasn’t
about how I compared to anybody else I
knew it was about me being the best me
so what makes the difference is I was
fortunate to have somebody that looked
at me and they saw this they saw inside
to something that I didn’t see and
Heather had a plan and I did it not
because I believed in me but because I
believed in Heather and Heather believed
in me so if there was anybody here that
did raise your hand and said yes I am
self actualized I am self-transcendent I
am a model for Maslow kudos to you and
here’s my invitation make it a point to
see the magnificence in everybody that
you meet it will change their lives and
if you’re more like me I want you to
realize your magnificence and if you
need to get somebody to help you do that
don’t hesitate to ask so what I’d like
to have you do right now is I want you
to turn to the person next to you and I
want you to look at them and I want you
to look in their eyes and I want you to
see their magnificence you just go ahead
okay
now now I want you to turn I want you to
turn to the person on the other side or
behind you and see their magnificence
and what I want you to realize what I
want you to realize what I want you to
realize is that two people just looked
at you and saw your magnificence and I’m
here to say the extent to which we
realize our magnificence it’s the extent
to which we will be able to say I feel
good about being me and that’s a promise
thank you
[Applause]
rock but somebody that knows about rocks
knew that there was more to this and
they cut into it and they saw this but
their curiosity didn’t stop there
they cut it again and they saw this a
magnificence now I don’t know a lot
about rocks but I know about people and
I am convinced that this is a wonderful
metaphor for each one of us that inside
each one of us there is an inner
magnificence I think that that was what
was behind Abraham Maslow’s personality
theory about how to get that
magnificence to self-actualize to self
transcend in working with people through
the years I realized there are three
kinds of people they’re the people that
Abraham Maslow was thinking about when
he created his model of personality
these are the people that are self
actualized self transcended
people like Gandhi people like Abraham
Lincoln people like Mother Teresa where
they’re living from that place they’re
expressing that place and it’s
noticeable it’s recognizable so I’m
curious if Abraham Maslow were alive and
we’re here today if you are one of those
people that you think he would look to
and say yep I want to pick you and I
want to pick you to base my personality
theory on raise your hands okay I just
want to be sure I had the right audience
here
the second group of people are those of
us that want to believe this about
ourselves we want to believe that
there’s something magnificent in us but
we’ve been put down we’ve been made fun
of we’ve been criticized we’ve been told
we’re wrong all kinds of negative
experiences and we’ve covered up our
magnificence and instead of the world
seeing our magnificent miss they see our
rockness then there’s a third type of
people and these are the people that
have been so beaten down and beaten up
by life they’ve had so much trauma that
this isn’t even a possibility in their
minds and these are people that are
living lives of quiet desperation I’m
not going to ask any of you to raise
your hand but if that applies to you you
know who I’m talking to
I’m gonna tell you a couple of stories
about me and from that I hope that you
will realize why I am so passionate
about helping others you realize your
magnificence and by realize it I mean
two things one is I want you to know
what’s there at least have the
intellectual idea that somewhere in me
is something magnificent and the second
part of that is to realize it make it
real make it in the world so the world
sees it and you’re magnificent makes a
difference in the world
I’ve always been small I started school
a year early intellectually ready
physically a year behind I was the kid
that at recess when the self-appointed
captains were choosing up teams they
would argue over who had to take me on
their team when I was in Little League
oh that’s really not fair I wasn’t good
enough for a little league I was in the
minor leagues of the little leagues
and I was that kid they put out in right
field and everybody but me hope the ball
would never get to me I love school even
in first grade I was offended if the
teacher didn’t assign homework because I
knew that’s the way you learn you’ll
learn by doing homework and so if the
teacher didn’t assign homework I would
go home and I would sit in front of my
little chalkboard and I would make up
homework for me to do October of 2nd
grade our family had just sat down for
supper heard the town fire alarm go off
it was a really small community we
didn’t have any professional
firefighters and the way it worked was
as soon as somebody knew there was a
fire they sounded the siren and whatever
able-body men were in town would rally
around and go get the one little
firetruck that we had and go fight the
fire
well what little six-year-old boy
doesn’t like sirens and fire trucks so
as soon as I heard it I jumped up from
the table I ran outside and I looked
down the street to see if I could see
the fire truck and in just a moment I
did I watched it cross our street and I
knew the only place it could be going
was the school I ran back inside I
yelled at my parents the schools on fire
ran outside cross the street through the
neighbor’s backyard over the fence onto
the hillside I goddess as close to the
school fire as I felt safe getting I
could feel the heat I could see the men
from the town I could see the fire truck
and it didn’t take me long to realize
the fire was way too big and the
resources of the town weren’t gonna be
enough and the fire was gonna win and as
that was sinking into me some of the big
kids now that’s the third and fourth
graders came up to me and they said
Barry why are you crying
well I hadn’t realized that I was crying
but
there were these quiet tears that were
coming down my cheeks and I looked at
them with great sincerity and I said
we’re not gonna have school tomorrow
yeah that’s what they did to kind of
laughed and I made a decision that day
don’t tell people what you really feel
because if you do they’ll laugh at you
skip to 5th grade middle school assembly
fifth sixth and seventh grade all
gathered in the gym I walked in looked
on the stage and there were all of the
instruments of the orchestra music
appreciation I was so excited I loved
music I couldn’t wait for this assembly
over the course of the presentation the
man that was conducting the presentation
asked a question he said do any of you
know the difference between a fiddle and
a violin any of you know the difference
well I did I raised my hand I don’t
think the guy expected anybody to do
that but when he saw my hand he called
on me so very proudly I stood up and in
my head I’m thinking bass fiddle violin
and so this little fifth grader did an
impromptu comparison and contrast speech
on the difference between a bass fiddle
and a violin and very proudly I sat down
and the guy that was running the
assembly made fun of my answer and the
whole school assembly laughed at me my
answer wasn’t wrong it just was it what
he was looking for what he was looking
for was if we play country in western
music we call it a fiddle if we play
classical music we call it a violin it’s
the same thing it just depends on the
kind of music what we call it but I made
a second decision that day don’t tell
anybody what you really think because if
you do they’ll laugh at you
and so I went through most of my life
thinking there was something wrong with
me
there was something defective in me
there was something deficient in me
there was something that wasn’t normal
in me here’s how it works
we’re born and at our birth we are
magnificent parents proud parents look
at that infant and they see maybe the
most special person in the whole world
and then as we go through life things
happen to us people make fun of us and
we build a layer of protection people
laugh at us and we build another layer
of protection people criticize us and we
put another layer of protection and
inside each one of these layers is fear
anxiety insecurity and this is what we
show the world and this is what we hide
the part of us that is the best of us
because somehow as little kids we think
that that’s very tender and as little
kids it is so fast-forward again I’m in
my late 60’s scrolling through Facebook
one day and I see a facebook ad for the
ohmygod ‘red sprint an Olympic triathlon
and something caught my attention about
that and I investigated a little bit and
I saw that a sprint triathlon a quarter
of a mile of open water swim 12 mile
bike ride 5k trail run I’m thinking I
know how to swim I’ve got a bike I got a
pair of sneakers
this is possible for me in retrospect I
think this was my magnificence trying to
get out and that’s what caught my
attention so I signed up for the
triathlon and I signed up for the
clinics to prepare for the triathlon I
had my first ever full-fledged panic
attack at the open water swim clinic I
had already noticed that I was by far
the oldest person that was in the
clinics the irony was if I had stopped
stand up I could have stood up in the
water but I was so over my head
psychologically emotionally that I
panicked in the midst of my panic attack
the coach got in my face and she said
Barry you know how to swim you’re a
triathlete now do this Wow me a
triathlete so far from this kid that
nobody even won on their team but it
clicked and so I did the triathlon I
didn’t set any records except that day I
was the oldest person to finish but I
came home with a medal saying I am a
triathlete I felt pretty good about me
so as I was kind of basking in that I’d
seen some Spartan events on television
just little clips and my wife and I once
or twice a week we were going to this
little gym in Warwick that was a cardio
kickboxing gym and Heather the owner of
the gym I knew had done some Spartan
events for those of you that aren’t
familiar with Spartan events there are
three categories based on various
distances and you run over very
challenging terrain and you encounter
ridiculous obstacles along the way
so I went to Heather because I knew that
she had done Spartans and I had great
respect for her and her ability as a
trainer and I said Heather you’ve known
me a little bit do you think it would be
possible that I could ever do a Spartan
event and she looked at me and her face
lit up and she said not only can you
you’re going to and here’s the plan in
April you’re gonna do the Beast in
August you’re gonna do the super and
you’re gonna celebrate your 70th
birthday at Fenway Park
completing the Spartan trifecta and
everything in me cringed and I wanted to
say no no you don’t understand I wasn’t
actually thinking about doing it I was
just thinking about do you think it
would be possible she said Barry I’m
gonna train you and you stick with me
and you’re gonna do this the night
before the Beast I had my second panic
attack there were I don’t know eight or
ten or twelve of us in the condo and
there were about 40 from our gym that
we’re doing this beast I was twice the
age of most of them and I’m thinking
they are younger than I am by decades
they are stronger than I am
they are faster than I am what was I
thinking don’t remember much about that
night but I remember the next day I
remember the Beast
it was between 16 and 17 miles of very
challenging terrain over 5,000 feet of
vertical climb 35 ridiculous obstacles
along the way and when I jumped the fire
at the finish line I went off by myself
and I cried like a baby there were tears
of exhaustion tears of joy just
overwhelmed with all kinds of feelings
what made the difference between this
boy that didn’t feel very good about
himself and this man who felt incredibly
proud about what he had accomplished
that day I knew it wasn’t about what
anybody else thought I knew it wasn’t
about how I compared to anybody else I
knew it was about me being the best me
so what makes the difference is I was
fortunate to have somebody that looked
at me and they saw this they saw inside
to something that I didn’t see and
Heather had a plan and I did it not
because I believed in me but because I
believed in Heather and Heather believed
in me so if there was anybody here that
did raise your hand and said yes I am
self actualized I am self-transcendent I
am a model for Maslow kudos to you and
here’s my invitation make it a point to
see the magnificence in everybody that
you meet it will change their lives and
if you’re more like me I want you to
realize your magnificence and if you
need to get somebody to help you do that
don’t hesitate to ask so what I’d like
to have you do right now is I want you
to turn to the person next to you and I
want you to look at them and I want you
to look in their eyes and I want you to
see their magnificence you just go ahead
okay
now now I want you to turn I want you to
turn to the person on the other side or
behind you and see their magnificence
and what I want you to realize what I
want you to realize what I want you to
realize is that two people just looked
at you and saw your magnificence and I’m
here to say the extent to which we
realize our magnificence it’s the extent
to which we will be able to say I feel
good about being me and that’s a promise
thank you
[Applause]
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