has anybody ever called you a black
sheep and what they did was it meant as
a compliment probably not right it’s
meant as an it insult or put down by the
end of this talk I’m gonna convince you
that you’re gonna want to be about black
sheep and that you’re gonna want to get
in touch with the inner black sheep and
express it let’s begin by looking at six
different stories six different people
over history three in the past three in
the present well begin with
giovanni bruno an astronomer in the 16th
century he looked up at the stars and he
said Wow all those little dots up there
there are actually suns and they have
planets revolving around them this was a
radical blacksheep idea nobody else
would thought that meanwhile this other
guy on the right Brian Green he says
that there are many universes made it
may be infinite number of universes
today Brian green gives TED talks Brian
Green has best-selling books he
celebrated in 1600 Giovanni Bruno was
burnt at the stake two different black
sheep two different periods two
different results let’s look at another
two black sheep computer scientists they
were both gay being gay because you’re a
small minority of the society you could
call them a black sheep well this
particular one Allan turning he was the
one who helped discover the Enigma code
he was the one who helped win World War
two the souther is Tim Cook he heads up
Apple Computer the richest company in
the world on a market capitalization
basis Allan turning he was driven to
suicide after he was chemically
castrated again two different stories
now let’s look at two alleged sorcerers
black sheep sorcerer’s one and hibbons
she was hung in Boston
meanwhile David Copperfield is a
magician
also another sorcerer he has a net worth
of 1 billion dollars so what’s the
lesson from these 6 different black
sheep 3 from the past 3 from the present
it’s that it was a lot more dangerous in
the past to be a black sheep that’s why
we all avoided it that’s why it was an
insult you didn’t want to be that but
today it’s a lot safer to be that black
sheep and that is one of the reasons why
you shouldn’t be afraid of being that
black sheep I’m not suggesting for a
moment that it’s safe to be a black
sheep everywhere
there are some societies that are
extremely conservative that if you’re a
woman for example and you’re not covered
you’re a black sheep and that’s bad and
you could be stoned in Japan it said
that the nail that sticks up should be
hammered down and of course we’re all
familiar with the one place in society
where it is definitely quite conformist
and you don’t want to be a black sheep
high school right so there are certain
societies and segments that are still
I’m not pretending to suggest that there
are not places where it’s still not safe
to be a black sheep but in general in
the 21st century things have changed and
the risks of being a black sheep are
much lower now speaking about black
sheep crazy ideas I decided to go to
Africa for five years I just returned I
spent five years travelling to every
single country spending five weeks in
each country
I went overland I never left the
continent during those five years as you
can imagine after picking up 3,000
hitchhikers I came back with a lot of
stories but I’m not only going to share
one story with you one story about one
particular black sheep that I think will
this particular black sheep is named
Binta
being tailed was born in 1992 she was
we’re not sure where she was born she
could have been born in Cameroon Nigeria
or Chad she doesn’t know she never found
out but the point is the society that
she grew up in is quite different she
was a black sheep for four reasons first
of all she went to school that sounds
kind of crazy right going to school is a
black sheet that’s the most conformist
thing to do here in America not where
she’s from women from her society girls
should I say stop going to school after
primary school that’s it primary school
you’re finished but she insisted to
continue to go why does did she not go
beyond primary school why didn’t she do
that
well a lot of her peers were selling
mangoes on the street but she want to
educate herself but her mother wanted
her to go through two important
ceremonies that make her a woman the
first is that she had to have her
clitoris cut off so the day that her
mother took her to a hut she knew what
was going to happen it was a hut on the
outskirts of her village and there was
an old lady there waiting there with a
razor in her hand her mother told her to
lie down naked benta looked at her
mother and said you know what I’m
totally into this fantastic wonderful
ceremony that you’re about to go through
I’m right with you but can I go to the
bathroom first and so her mother said go
ahead so now in this part of Africa the
bathrooms are not in the house there are
outhouses so she put on her flip-flops
in bento went to the outhouse and then
ran to the street flagged down the first
car jumped in the car and the driver and
acid driver where are we going she says
I’m going to Nigeria great let’s go
there and off she went she was 11 years
old
11 years old can you think of the balls
that you got to have in order to do
that or in this case the clitoris that
you gotta have it’s amazing she went
away and for a whole month she didn’t
come back finally when she come back her
mom let her go and decide not to bring
up the subject again of female genital
mutilation female circumcision
that’s a blacksheep idea because where
she’s from
almost all the girls are circumcised if
you look here in Africa the percentages
it’s the majority in many countries
sometimes reaching 90% have their
clitoris sliced off this is something
that has to stop
benta was a black sheep she stood up to
it she didn’t want to take it she went
off and found a way to escape but it was
gonna be much harder to escape the
second ceremony that her mother wanted
her to go through marriage because where
she’s from
all girls who reached the age of puberty
should already be married that’s right
you heard that right thirteen years old
you should be married so she didn’t want
that now where she had been presented
many suitors her mother was showered
with gifts from the suitors they even
one of them actually took her mother to
the Hajj the pilgrimage in Mecca they
wanted her daughter to be her second
third or even fourth wife now some of
these guys weren’t that great but some
of them are really hot I mean really
kind of desirable like this guy who’s
got you know a cow on the back of his
motorcycle a live cow you know this is
the kind of guy I think most girls in
this room would really be into but being
tall was not you know bento was not into
the guys with the cows on the back of
the motorcycle she wanted something more
and so she again wanted to be and God
expressed her black sheep Ness the
problem was was how to do it she didn’t
know how can I I can’t just run away as
easy as I did get away from females
concision you can see the statistics
where she’s from you are a black sheep
if you’re not married as a teenager
you’re unusual you’re rare you’re
different and in villages these
percentages are even higher and that’s
where she’s from she’s from a village so
she devised a plan of how to get it she
thought well I have only two choices
either one I kill myself or two I make
myself so unattractive so that no man
will want me and that’s the option she
took you know what she did she became an
apostate she decided to reject Islam her
religion she said if I become a
Christian I will no longer be desirable
to all these men who want to marry me
men in their 40s and 50s and she was 12
she did it but then her Imam the leader
of her mosque wrote a letter she had to
read it because her mom is illiterate
couldn’t read the letter and said
basically if Binta doesn’t return to
islam we will have to execute her this
was not a veiled threat
this isn’t wasn’t a joke this same man
one year later would decapitate his
cousin in the market square as part of
Boko Haram this same man two years later
would blow himself up in Nigeria as a
suicide bomber he meant business so when
he told Binta you better come back to
Islam or we will kill you he meant it
she decided to escape to run away for an
entire year she didn’t come back until
her mom was at when she was 14 her mom
we can’t died of natural causes and she
was an orphan at that point at the age
of 14 we’ll get back to Bent s story at
the end so because your public curious
whatever happened to her but first let’s
focus on you
how can you learn from Pinta how can you
become more like her well four questions
that you want to ask yourself but first
you have to remind yourself that you
don’t live in bean Texas ayat e it’s
much safer for you and me to be a black
sheep to be different to dare to be
different it’s much easier so don’t be
so afraid
second of all remind yourself that we’re
all drowning in information white sheep
are what what’s a white sheep it’s
boring right it’s boring to me a white
sheep here you are with your text
messages and all your messaging you know
we’re overwhelmed with information only
a black sheep is wow look at that
there’s a black sheep that’s interesting
so be interesting be original be
different so ask yourself these four
questions to help bring out that inner
black sheep first of all is there
something in your mind are you stopping
yourself from being are you saying oh no
I wonder what my boyfriend will think I
wonder what my parents will think no I
don’t want to you know I might fail
these are things that you’re stopping
yourself right from the get-go from
doing second of all if you’re trying to
bring that self out of you ask yourself
what if I do the opposite of what
everybody else is doing all the sheep
are going this way what if I do the
opposite that’s another way to kind of
bring it out of you as Mark Twain said
when you find yourself in the majority
it’s time to question and think about it
third question that you should ask
yourself and realize is what’s the
realistic worst-case scenario the
worst-case scenario of me giving this
TEDx talk is that somebody from the
audience jumps up and kills me that’s
the worst-case scenario right but is
that the realistic worst-case scenario
no so a lot of times we get obsessed
about the worst-case scenarios when we
should be thinking about the realistic
worst-case scenarios it’s not that bad
that you’re not going to usually be
killed and speaking about killed and
death think about what you’re gonna feel
like when you’re on your deathbed ask
yourself is my future self really gonna
be so worried about me stepping out on a
limb and doing something different and
being different from the rest of the
people probably not probably your future
self will encourage you
to go off and be slightly different from
the rest of the people or even radically
different so these are questions that
you should ask yourself in order to kind
of get out of that zone
now also I want to make sure then on all
black sheep are good right
you’ve got Hitler you got Isis you got
Boko Haram and perhaps one of the most
worst black sheep of all Justin Bieber
oh sorry put Justin Bieber fans but
seriously folks I’m not suggesting that
just because you’re a black sheep you’re
automatically going to be from marvelous
and fantastic some black sheep are not
so great but the key thing is to be true
to yourself and to realize that you
might be closing off and denying that
side of yourself now one more thing if
Justin Bieber were here or anybody else
who are super successful they’re gonna
tell you what they’re gonna tell you
just persist go off on your goal and
you’re gonna succeed eventually right
you’ve heard this stuff a million times
just go after it go after you be a black
sheep and you’ll succeed well I’m here
to tell you that it’s not always the
case it’s not always the case
sometimes when you try and you persist
you don’t fail you don’t succeed think
about it is CNN gonna call you up and
say hey you know we’ve got this guy
who’s mortgaged his house giving up
everything he lost everything he never
succeeded doing anything CNN’s not going
to call them Ted is not gonna call
somebody up and say hey we’d like to
present this woman who tried to be an
Olympian tried to be an Olympian and
tried to be an Olympian and failed and
never succeeded those are not
interesting stories for us so they’re
never invited so we never hear from them
so persistence is important but just
remember this
then among persistent people the
successful ones all successful people
are persistent but not all persistent
people are successful in doing what they
wanted to do and to achieve what they
want to do but what’s important is that
you pursue the idea for the sake of the
pursuit that you be a black sheep
not because necessarily you’ll become
the next Tim Cook next Brian Greene and
you’re gonna become fabulously wealthy
no do it because for the same reason
that benta did it benta did it because
that’s who she is she didn’t want to
deny that she didn’t want to suppress
that so success is not necessarily a
guarantee when you try to be a black
sheep but there is success in being true
to yourself and not repressing that side
of yourself now I want to end with
talking about where benta is today
because you’re probably curious benta
eventually decided to change her name
because when she converted to
Christianity her pastor said what would
you like to call yourself Binta is a
Muslim name would you cut like to have a
different name without hesitation do you
know what she called herself rejoice
what a great name right rejoice and
that’s the name that she chose I hope
that you have learned and become
inspired by this woman who’s now 26
years old she’s not only come to America
but she’s come to this very room that’s
right benta is here rejoices here I
think you’d like to meet her so come to
she she speaks she speaks five languages
but she’s a bit shy and she doesn’t like
to talk that much but the key thing that
I want you to learn from her is how to
be a black sheep because this woman
means everything to me because she’s my wife thank you so much
sheep and what they did was it meant as
a compliment probably not right it’s
meant as an it insult or put down by the
end of this talk I’m gonna convince you
that you’re gonna want to be about black
sheep and that you’re gonna want to get
in touch with the inner black sheep and
express it let’s begin by looking at six
different stories six different people
over history three in the past three in
the present well begin with
giovanni bruno an astronomer in the 16th
century he looked up at the stars and he
said Wow all those little dots up there
there are actually suns and they have
planets revolving around them this was a
radical blacksheep idea nobody else
would thought that meanwhile this other
guy on the right Brian Green he says
that there are many universes made it
may be infinite number of universes
today Brian green gives TED talks Brian
Green has best-selling books he
celebrated in 1600 Giovanni Bruno was
burnt at the stake two different black
sheep two different periods two
different results let’s look at another
two black sheep computer scientists they
were both gay being gay because you’re a
small minority of the society you could
call them a black sheep well this
particular one Allan turning he was the
one who helped discover the Enigma code
he was the one who helped win World War
two the souther is Tim Cook he heads up
Apple Computer the richest company in
the world on a market capitalization
basis Allan turning he was driven to
suicide after he was chemically
castrated again two different stories
now let’s look at two alleged sorcerers
black sheep sorcerer’s one and hibbons
she was hung in Boston
meanwhile David Copperfield is a
magician
also another sorcerer he has a net worth
of 1 billion dollars so what’s the
lesson from these 6 different black
sheep 3 from the past 3 from the present
it’s that it was a lot more dangerous in
the past to be a black sheep that’s why
we all avoided it that’s why it was an
insult you didn’t want to be that but
today it’s a lot safer to be that black
sheep and that is one of the reasons why
you shouldn’t be afraid of being that
black sheep I’m not suggesting for a
moment that it’s safe to be a black
sheep everywhere
there are some societies that are
extremely conservative that if you’re a
woman for example and you’re not covered
you’re a black sheep and that’s bad and
you could be stoned in Japan it said
that the nail that sticks up should be
hammered down and of course we’re all
familiar with the one place in society
where it is definitely quite conformist
and you don’t want to be a black sheep
high school right so there are certain
societies and segments that are still
I’m not pretending to suggest that there
are not places where it’s still not safe
to be a black sheep but in general in
the 21st century things have changed and
the risks of being a black sheep are
much lower now speaking about black
sheep crazy ideas I decided to go to
Africa for five years I just returned I
spent five years travelling to every
single country spending five weeks in
each country
I went overland I never left the
continent during those five years as you
can imagine after picking up 3,000
hitchhikers I came back with a lot of
stories but I’m not only going to share
one story with you one story about one
particular black sheep that I think will
this particular black sheep is named
Binta
being tailed was born in 1992 she was
we’re not sure where she was born she
could have been born in Cameroon Nigeria
or Chad she doesn’t know she never found
out but the point is the society that
she grew up in is quite different she
was a black sheep for four reasons first
of all she went to school that sounds
kind of crazy right going to school is a
black sheet that’s the most conformist
thing to do here in America not where
she’s from women from her society girls
should I say stop going to school after
primary school that’s it primary school
you’re finished but she insisted to
continue to go why does did she not go
beyond primary school why didn’t she do
that
well a lot of her peers were selling
mangoes on the street but she want to
educate herself but her mother wanted
her to go through two important
ceremonies that make her a woman the
first is that she had to have her
clitoris cut off so the day that her
mother took her to a hut she knew what
was going to happen it was a hut on the
outskirts of her village and there was
an old lady there waiting there with a
razor in her hand her mother told her to
lie down naked benta looked at her
mother and said you know what I’m
totally into this fantastic wonderful
ceremony that you’re about to go through
I’m right with you but can I go to the
bathroom first and so her mother said go
ahead so now in this part of Africa the
bathrooms are not in the house there are
outhouses so she put on her flip-flops
in bento went to the outhouse and then
ran to the street flagged down the first
car jumped in the car and the driver and
acid driver where are we going she says
I’m going to Nigeria great let’s go
there and off she went she was 11 years
old
11 years old can you think of the balls
that you got to have in order to do
that or in this case the clitoris that
you gotta have it’s amazing she went
away and for a whole month she didn’t
come back finally when she come back her
mom let her go and decide not to bring
up the subject again of female genital
mutilation female circumcision
that’s a blacksheep idea because where
she’s from
almost all the girls are circumcised if
you look here in Africa the percentages
it’s the majority in many countries
sometimes reaching 90% have their
clitoris sliced off this is something
that has to stop
benta was a black sheep she stood up to
it she didn’t want to take it she went
off and found a way to escape but it was
gonna be much harder to escape the
second ceremony that her mother wanted
her to go through marriage because where
she’s from
all girls who reached the age of puberty
should already be married that’s right
you heard that right thirteen years old
you should be married so she didn’t want
that now where she had been presented
many suitors her mother was showered
with gifts from the suitors they even
one of them actually took her mother to
the Hajj the pilgrimage in Mecca they
wanted her daughter to be her second
third or even fourth wife now some of
these guys weren’t that great but some
of them are really hot I mean really
kind of desirable like this guy who’s
got you know a cow on the back of his
motorcycle a live cow you know this is
the kind of guy I think most girls in
this room would really be into but being
tall was not you know bento was not into
the guys with the cows on the back of
the motorcycle she wanted something more
and so she again wanted to be and God
expressed her black sheep Ness the
problem was was how to do it she didn’t
know how can I I can’t just run away as
easy as I did get away from females
concision you can see the statistics
where she’s from you are a black sheep
if you’re not married as a teenager
you’re unusual you’re rare you’re
different and in villages these
percentages are even higher and that’s
where she’s from she’s from a village so
she devised a plan of how to get it she
thought well I have only two choices
either one I kill myself or two I make
myself so unattractive so that no man
will want me and that’s the option she
took you know what she did she became an
apostate she decided to reject Islam her
religion she said if I become a
Christian I will no longer be desirable
to all these men who want to marry me
men in their 40s and 50s and she was 12
she did it but then her Imam the leader
of her mosque wrote a letter she had to
read it because her mom is illiterate
couldn’t read the letter and said
basically if Binta doesn’t return to
islam we will have to execute her this
was not a veiled threat
this isn’t wasn’t a joke this same man
one year later would decapitate his
cousin in the market square as part of
Boko Haram this same man two years later
would blow himself up in Nigeria as a
suicide bomber he meant business so when
he told Binta you better come back to
Islam or we will kill you he meant it
she decided to escape to run away for an
entire year she didn’t come back until
her mom was at when she was 14 her mom
we can’t died of natural causes and she
was an orphan at that point at the age
of 14 we’ll get back to Bent s story at
the end so because your public curious
whatever happened to her but first let’s
focus on you
how can you learn from Pinta how can you
become more like her well four questions
that you want to ask yourself but first
you have to remind yourself that you
don’t live in bean Texas ayat e it’s
much safer for you and me to be a black
sheep to be different to dare to be
different it’s much easier so don’t be
so afraid
second of all remind yourself that we’re
all drowning in information white sheep
are what what’s a white sheep it’s
boring right it’s boring to me a white
sheep here you are with your text
messages and all your messaging you know
we’re overwhelmed with information only
a black sheep is wow look at that
there’s a black sheep that’s interesting
so be interesting be original be
different so ask yourself these four
questions to help bring out that inner
black sheep first of all is there
something in your mind are you stopping
yourself from being are you saying oh no
I wonder what my boyfriend will think I
wonder what my parents will think no I
don’t want to you know I might fail
these are things that you’re stopping
yourself right from the get-go from
doing second of all if you’re trying to
bring that self out of you ask yourself
what if I do the opposite of what
everybody else is doing all the sheep
are going this way what if I do the
opposite that’s another way to kind of
bring it out of you as Mark Twain said
when you find yourself in the majority
it’s time to question and think about it
third question that you should ask
yourself and realize is what’s the
realistic worst-case scenario the
worst-case scenario of me giving this
TEDx talk is that somebody from the
audience jumps up and kills me that’s
the worst-case scenario right but is
that the realistic worst-case scenario
no so a lot of times we get obsessed
about the worst-case scenarios when we
should be thinking about the realistic
worst-case scenarios it’s not that bad
that you’re not going to usually be
killed and speaking about killed and
death think about what you’re gonna feel
like when you’re on your deathbed ask
yourself is my future self really gonna
be so worried about me stepping out on a
limb and doing something different and
being different from the rest of the
people probably not probably your future
self will encourage you
to go off and be slightly different from
the rest of the people or even radically
different so these are questions that
you should ask yourself in order to kind
of get out of that zone
now also I want to make sure then on all
black sheep are good right
you’ve got Hitler you got Isis you got
Boko Haram and perhaps one of the most
worst black sheep of all Justin Bieber
oh sorry put Justin Bieber fans but
seriously folks I’m not suggesting that
just because you’re a black sheep you’re
automatically going to be from marvelous
and fantastic some black sheep are not
so great but the key thing is to be true
to yourself and to realize that you
might be closing off and denying that
side of yourself now one more thing if
Justin Bieber were here or anybody else
who are super successful they’re gonna
tell you what they’re gonna tell you
just persist go off on your goal and
you’re gonna succeed eventually right
you’ve heard this stuff a million times
just go after it go after you be a black
sheep and you’ll succeed well I’m here
to tell you that it’s not always the
case it’s not always the case
sometimes when you try and you persist
you don’t fail you don’t succeed think
about it is CNN gonna call you up and
say hey you know we’ve got this guy
who’s mortgaged his house giving up
everything he lost everything he never
succeeded doing anything CNN’s not going
to call them Ted is not gonna call
somebody up and say hey we’d like to
present this woman who tried to be an
Olympian tried to be an Olympian and
tried to be an Olympian and failed and
never succeeded those are not
interesting stories for us so they’re
never invited so we never hear from them
so persistence is important but just
remember this
then among persistent people the
successful ones all successful people
are persistent but not all persistent
people are successful in doing what they
wanted to do and to achieve what they
want to do but what’s important is that
you pursue the idea for the sake of the
pursuit that you be a black sheep
not because necessarily you’ll become
the next Tim Cook next Brian Greene and
you’re gonna become fabulously wealthy
no do it because for the same reason
that benta did it benta did it because
that’s who she is she didn’t want to
deny that she didn’t want to suppress
that so success is not necessarily a
guarantee when you try to be a black
sheep but there is success in being true
to yourself and not repressing that side
of yourself now I want to end with
talking about where benta is today
because you’re probably curious benta
eventually decided to change her name
because when she converted to
Christianity her pastor said what would
you like to call yourself Binta is a
Muslim name would you cut like to have a
different name without hesitation do you
know what she called herself rejoice
what a great name right rejoice and
that’s the name that she chose I hope
that you have learned and become
inspired by this woman who’s now 26
years old she’s not only come to America
but she’s come to this very room that’s
right benta is here rejoices here I
think you’d like to meet her so come to
she she speaks she speaks five languages
but she’s a bit shy and she doesn’t like
to talk that much but the key thing that
I want you to learn from her is how to
be a black sheep because this woman
means everything to me because she’s my wife thank you so much
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