[Music]
[Applause]
thank you to both Steve and
[Music]
so picture the theme
it’s an August afternoon in beautiful
English countryside which means it’s
sort of overcast but nevertheless we’re
in a beautiful village that could double
for Downton or typically the bees are
buzzing in the hedgerows the combines
bringing in the harvest and we’ve driven
through some utter new chocolate of
scenery to get here and for various
reasons that I won’t bore you with we
didn’t really have a formal family
getaway this summer we actually had a
staycation and so I did what any
self-respecting social media mother
would do I got myself on Pinterest and I
looked up summer bucket lists and what
came up was geocaching and that’s the
reason that we’re in this glorious
pastoral middle as a parenting writer
who’ve been moved to the countryside
after having a baby and yes I know
that’s a terrible cliche I’ve been
reading about geocaching for years but I
haven’t really got rounded to it because
I had four babies in five years so back
to this glorious dawn and my friends and
her two daughters and me and my two sons
who decided we’re going to give up go
and we head out to this target-rich
environment and obviously in this day
and age I can’t take it upon myself to
just stop and enjoy the moment no I have
to document it so I’m taking some
pictures of a closeup of a cow part
and then my friend’s daughter spies the
ponies and all four children jump up
onto a fire five games and the resulting
image that we take the first that we
take it’s like a cross between and
vintage Enid Blyton cover and a page
from the mini very casual but to get
here we had to traverse and navigate
down an incredibly narrow footpath that
was basically a jungle of stinging
nettles this being one day in this
summer work it didn’t pour were draining
on for sure my sons were giving their
shorts their annual airing and so
despite our encouragement for them to
tread the nettles down and you know try
and avoid getting stung they ended up
pretty badly stung and my sons are nine
and six so you can imagine they
complained about it a lot I wonder if
you can imagine which of the two images
I wanted to post on Instagram looks a
bit like American Buddhist isn’t it in
my work I help businesses understand how
various social networks get people to
understand them get people to know them
to like them to trust them and
ultimately to do business with them and
to do that we make sure that we have the
right message on the right network at
the right time but increasingly I’m
noticing that individuals are looking
for that same level of corporate
branding and looking for the same amount
of suits of that level of stuff of
professional branding and messaging I
noticed a mother on Facebook posting
about what a wonderful day she’s had and
I know for a fact that she was at the
doctors being prescribed antidepressants
there’s nothing wrong with eating anti
depressed
but this need to constantly apply the
filter to everything that we do has
become a literal example of what Simon
Simon Says side the side access which is
we’re growing up in a Facebook and
Instagram world in other words we’re
good they’re putting filters on things
we’re really good at showing people that
life is amazing
even though I’m depressed I completely
understand and have lived through my
solution that being a mother at home
with small children is I remember being
desperate for human company and that’s
actually where social media came into
its own even now 10 years later the
majority of my phone my friends live in
my phone on what’s up and on Facebook
but the ones that I feel closest to are
the ones who only post Envy invoking
holidays with their own or the
fresh-faced children and pristine
uniforms on the first day of school
I like seeing this people I feel closest
to the ones who share reality because if
everyone is curating what we see of
their lives it’s much harder for us to
connect and relate to people on a
genuine level we live in a world that is
so rich with social media display that
there are blogging conferences for
parents to learn how better to style and
photograph their lives in order to get
paid for it while we can make those
other fun things it’s important to
remember that we can’t actually control
or remember that or control or predict
what we’re going to remember which of
our memories are going to encapsulate
our psyches our deepest psyches and
which are going to evaporate without
trace when I was five my father was
posted in you
Island and during that whole
extraordinary 365 days of my life is
reduced to a flicker of mere memories
the smell of the elementary school
classroom eating a leftover cheese
sandwich from a Strawberry Shortcake
lunchbox my mother sure was me that I
wrote the iconic yellow school bus that
we see in the films every day for a year
and I don’t remember it at all so what’s
causing this need to apply a filter well
we all want our lives to be successful
the truth is and the truth is that we’re
all seeking here approval the number of
lights equates to the amount of success
we all feel peer pressure to only posts
a good day but the truth is there are
those who are enjoying huge online
success by posting the brutal truth let
me give you three examples there’s Ross
Morrison McGill from teacher toolkit
who’s recently been posting about mental
health and teaching you can’t get more
honest and raw than that
Katie Kirby from Heritage in which is a
wonderfully entitled vlog but entirely
encapsulated and also Jill Sims from
PETA and Jenny both of those hilariously
an excruciatingly ly give detail on the
not so brilliant days but what’s really
interesting is when you give people the
opportunity to tell the truth before I
did what I do now I look to talk to the
community at Mumsnet
a little over ten years and the key to
Mumsnet success is the fact that people
can anonymously and therefore honestly
ask questions of their online here but
they would never ask in real life
because it would shatter the illusion
that everyone has the are
and the light is perfect I have seen
amazing things happen on social media
when people online I have seen suicides
prevented because online posters have
talked someone out of committing suicide
I have seen serious illnesses diagnosed
from their symptoms where doctors have
said things are fine I have seen
domestic violence victims explain having
helps to understand that not only is
there a problem in the relationship but
given emotional practical tangible
support on how to leave where to go and
what to take with them when they do so
we know that people out there aren’t
having brilliant days all the time
and we also know that there are those
out there willing to support them but we
feel uncomfortable asking for help in an
anonymous way increasingly we’re coming
to recognize that social media is the
definitive record of our lives Facebook
even has its own memory section it will
give you precisely what you posted on
this give attain any number of years
before sort of like a highlights reel at
the end of a contestants run on
strengthening but you know the
difference between what the producers
know and the bits that we edit ourselves
is that they know that too much of a
good thing because saccharine and faith
if the X Factor only showed I know you
love the X right here if the X Factor
only showed footage of phenomenal
singers and not the part where people
forgot their lines or sang off-key or if
just struggling with the process then we
wouldn’t have the journey showing the
all one a little bit of room for growth
we all want that before and after if
you’re only showing
rosy highlights and best bits and you
haven’t got that journey since I’ve been
talking over 300,000 pictures have been
posted to Instagram using who knows how
I closes and how much Photoshop 6000 new
profiles created on Facebook so what I’d
like you to do like is the next time you
go to post think about whether you’ll be
honest whether you’re telling the whole
truth or whether you’re using the pick
of the best fits our lives have great
deaths but social media rarely depicts
this at all
why not post a picture of the time the
baby penguins are top of sunna pram or
explain but when you went to the beach
it took two hours to get there because
of the traffic jams and then when you’ve
got there it’s potty training by the
tiny pull of the ice cream in the end
what bringing us closer is being honest
with each other now we throw balls to
suggest that the next time you stop
[Applause]
you
[Applause]
[Applause]
thank you to both Steve and
[Music]
so picture the theme
it’s an August afternoon in beautiful
English countryside which means it’s
sort of overcast but nevertheless we’re
in a beautiful village that could double
for Downton or typically the bees are
buzzing in the hedgerows the combines
bringing in the harvest and we’ve driven
through some utter new chocolate of
scenery to get here and for various
reasons that I won’t bore you with we
didn’t really have a formal family
getaway this summer we actually had a
staycation and so I did what any
self-respecting social media mother
would do I got myself on Pinterest and I
looked up summer bucket lists and what
came up was geocaching and that’s the
reason that we’re in this glorious
pastoral middle as a parenting writer
who’ve been moved to the countryside
after having a baby and yes I know
that’s a terrible cliche I’ve been
reading about geocaching for years but I
haven’t really got rounded to it because
I had four babies in five years so back
to this glorious dawn and my friends and
her two daughters and me and my two sons
who decided we’re going to give up go
and we head out to this target-rich
environment and obviously in this day
and age I can’t take it upon myself to
just stop and enjoy the moment no I have
to document it so I’m taking some
pictures of a closeup of a cow part
and then my friend’s daughter spies the
ponies and all four children jump up
onto a fire five games and the resulting
image that we take the first that we
take it’s like a cross between and
vintage Enid Blyton cover and a page
from the mini very casual but to get
here we had to traverse and navigate
down an incredibly narrow footpath that
was basically a jungle of stinging
nettles this being one day in this
summer work it didn’t pour were draining
on for sure my sons were giving their
shorts their annual airing and so
despite our encouragement for them to
tread the nettles down and you know try
and avoid getting stung they ended up
pretty badly stung and my sons are nine
and six so you can imagine they
complained about it a lot I wonder if
you can imagine which of the two images
I wanted to post on Instagram looks a
bit like American Buddhist isn’t it in
my work I help businesses understand how
various social networks get people to
understand them get people to know them
to like them to trust them and
ultimately to do business with them and
to do that we make sure that we have the
right message on the right network at
the right time but increasingly I’m
noticing that individuals are looking
for that same level of corporate
branding and looking for the same amount
of suits of that level of stuff of
professional branding and messaging I
noticed a mother on Facebook posting
about what a wonderful day she’s had and
I know for a fact that she was at the
doctors being prescribed antidepressants
there’s nothing wrong with eating anti
depressed
but this need to constantly apply the
filter to everything that we do has
become a literal example of what Simon
Simon Says side the side access which is
we’re growing up in a Facebook and
Instagram world in other words we’re
good they’re putting filters on things
we’re really good at showing people that
life is amazing
even though I’m depressed I completely
understand and have lived through my
solution that being a mother at home
with small children is I remember being
desperate for human company and that’s
actually where social media came into
its own even now 10 years later the
majority of my phone my friends live in
my phone on what’s up and on Facebook
but the ones that I feel closest to are
the ones who only post Envy invoking
holidays with their own or the
fresh-faced children and pristine
uniforms on the first day of school
I like seeing this people I feel closest
to the ones who share reality because if
everyone is curating what we see of
their lives it’s much harder for us to
connect and relate to people on a
genuine level we live in a world that is
so rich with social media display that
there are blogging conferences for
parents to learn how better to style and
photograph their lives in order to get
paid for it while we can make those
other fun things it’s important to
remember that we can’t actually control
or remember that or control or predict
what we’re going to remember which of
our memories are going to encapsulate
our psyches our deepest psyches and
which are going to evaporate without
trace when I was five my father was
posted in you
Island and during that whole
extraordinary 365 days of my life is
reduced to a flicker of mere memories
the smell of the elementary school
classroom eating a leftover cheese
sandwich from a Strawberry Shortcake
lunchbox my mother sure was me that I
wrote the iconic yellow school bus that
we see in the films every day for a year
and I don’t remember it at all so what’s
causing this need to apply a filter well
we all want our lives to be successful
the truth is and the truth is that we’re
all seeking here approval the number of
lights equates to the amount of success
we all feel peer pressure to only posts
a good day but the truth is there are
those who are enjoying huge online
success by posting the brutal truth let
me give you three examples there’s Ross
Morrison McGill from teacher toolkit
who’s recently been posting about mental
health and teaching you can’t get more
honest and raw than that
Katie Kirby from Heritage in which is a
wonderfully entitled vlog but entirely
encapsulated and also Jill Sims from
PETA and Jenny both of those hilariously
an excruciatingly ly give detail on the
not so brilliant days but what’s really
interesting is when you give people the
opportunity to tell the truth before I
did what I do now I look to talk to the
community at Mumsnet
a little over ten years and the key to
Mumsnet success is the fact that people
can anonymously and therefore honestly
ask questions of their online here but
they would never ask in real life
because it would shatter the illusion
that everyone has the are
and the light is perfect I have seen
amazing things happen on social media
when people online I have seen suicides
prevented because online posters have
talked someone out of committing suicide
I have seen serious illnesses diagnosed
from their symptoms where doctors have
said things are fine I have seen
domestic violence victims explain having
helps to understand that not only is
there a problem in the relationship but
given emotional practical tangible
support on how to leave where to go and
what to take with them when they do so
we know that people out there aren’t
having brilliant days all the time
and we also know that there are those
out there willing to support them but we
feel uncomfortable asking for help in an
anonymous way increasingly we’re coming
to recognize that social media is the
definitive record of our lives Facebook
even has its own memory section it will
give you precisely what you posted on
this give attain any number of years
before sort of like a highlights reel at
the end of a contestants run on
strengthening but you know the
difference between what the producers
know and the bits that we edit ourselves
is that they know that too much of a
good thing because saccharine and faith
if the X Factor only showed I know you
love the X right here if the X Factor
only showed footage of phenomenal
singers and not the part where people
forgot their lines or sang off-key or if
just struggling with the process then we
wouldn’t have the journey showing the
all one a little bit of room for growth
we all want that before and after if
you’re only showing
rosy highlights and best bits and you
haven’t got that journey since I’ve been
talking over 300,000 pictures have been
posted to Instagram using who knows how
I closes and how much Photoshop 6000 new
profiles created on Facebook so what I’d
like you to do like is the next time you
go to post think about whether you’ll be
honest whether you’re telling the whole
truth or whether you’re using the pick
of the best fits our lives have great
deaths but social media rarely depicts
this at all
why not post a picture of the time the
baby penguins are top of sunna pram or
explain but when you went to the beach
it took two hours to get there because
of the traffic jams and then when you’ve
got there it’s potty training by the
tiny pull of the ice cream in the end
what bringing us closer is being honest
with each other now we throw balls to
suggest that the next time you stop
[Applause]
you
[Applause]
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