it’s a story that started 17 years ago
in the year 2000 in a class filled with
management students of one of the top B
schools in India the students were
keenly listening to the professor
teaching them a very fascinating case
something called the prisoner’s dilemma
in order to make the class more
interesting the professor asked all the
students to imagine themselves to be one
of the true criminals who have joined
hands together to commit a crime that
would change their lives forever
so the students it sounded like a big
Bollywood blockbuster but the professor
immediately gave a plot twist the two of
you have been caught not while
committing the crime but rather while
trying to run away from the scene of
crime so the police have a doubt on you
but is not very sure about it the two of
you have been kept in two different
rooms you have the freewill to confess
to the crime or to remain silent
what would you do the students were very
sharp at it they knew the choice was
obvious so they unanimously stated we
would remain silent the professor gave a
very sly smile and now introduced
himself into the story as the third
character the Wicked jailer who comes to
you and now gives you an offer of a
lifetime he says why don’t you join
hands with me why don’t you confess and
rat out on your partner in which case we
would be able to help we would be able
to resolve the case we would go set you
free and in that case your partner gets
10 years what would you do now
immediately there is unanimity of the
class broke down the class got divided
into remaining silent or confessing to
the crime now but the professor added on
another twist and said but if you
confess and your partner also confesses
then your confession is of not
much used to us in which case both of
you will get five years the student
again started thinking about it and the
wicked jailer gave another round and he
said you also have the options of
remaining silent both of you remaining
silent in which case we may not be able
to convict you for the said crime but
we’ll definitely charge you for the
public property damages in which case
both of you will get one year the
students knew that it was not all over
and they were expecting one more round
and the wicked jailor gave them the
jailer said that I am going to go to
your partner and give them give him the
same conditions and if you remain silent
and your partner confesses he goes free
and then you get 10 years of jail
what would you do now one would assume
that this situation of multi-dimensional
city you know technicalities would have
confused the young management students
but no they are MBA students and MBA
students are sharp as we all know back
came the reply and everybody almost 90%
of the class shouted we would confess
the most popular students in the class
even went down to elaborate his decision
he said the choices are actually very
simple if I confess the two
possibilities are 0 years or 5 years if
I remain silent the two possibilities
are 1 year and 10 years and since 0
years is better than 1 year and 5 years
better than 10 years I am going to
confess since I don’t know what is the
choice that the other person is going to
make so I am going to feel safe when I
confess silence followed by a huge round
of applause by the entire class the
class erupted in joy and appreciation
and even the professor’s eyes gleamed
with a lot of pride and he said from a
self-interested perspective any rational
mind would do the same any rational mind
would do the same that once the sentence
would have done a lot of good to the
young management students aspirations
and confidence of course he was right of
course the professor was right because
that’s how most of the decisions are
taken by the government by the
mathematicians by the economists
but nobody in that uproar observed that
one student who was sitting in the last
row corner seat who could not understand
even a single bit out of it who had
chosen to remain silent no matter what
the jailer offered and he kept wondering
why is everyone so sure that the other
person would have cheated isn’t it
better that we together be the two of us
suffer a small loss of one year
imprisonment but in the process build up
a lifelong relationship he also wondered
that why is it that people can’t see
that both of them gain more by trusting
than by cheating
he couldn’t ask those questions because
he was too scared to ask this question
in in in in the middle of the rational
minds that night that student would not
sleep not because the incident had
questioned his academic abilities he
wasn’t good at it anyway not because he
couldn’t feel he couldn’t figure out
that the prisoner’s dilemma was not
about trust but primarily because he
kept wondering what would have been the
hypothetical decision made by the other
person he just could not get those
answers
he kept questioning our people really
really not trustworthy would people
ditch you if you trusted them and is it
really irrational to trust people he did
not have those answers but the good news
was he could find the way to find the
answers she realized that he would not
be able to find the answers by not
trusting people because then he wouldn’t
know the outcome therefore he decided to
trust everyone for the next 17 years of
his life he kept on trusting everybody
whom he met at times it was
disappointing at times it was even
earth-shattering at times it was very
scary but he went on and on and after 17
years of this lifelong experiment on
13th of May at 1:21 p.m. that person
stands on one of the
most prestigious platforms in this world
TED talks stand right in front of you
and shares with you this idea of
trusting people and I’m so glad to tell
you it has been totally worth it now I
am not dead I’m very much alive and the
fact that I’m alive and kicking proves
one thing for sure that trusting people
doesn’t kill you thank God for that also
today I am financially independent I am
the founder director of to successfully
running organizations but most
importantly I am extremely happy to
announce that I can claim to be the
happiest person alive and I ascribe
trusting people as one of the biggest
contributors to that success of
happiness allow me to take you along on
this journey the first thing that I
realized in this journey was that life
must not and should not and cannot be
taken as a real life’s prisoner’s
dilemma it is not because in prisoner’s
dilemma it’s a one-on-one situation in
life it is not every day every month
every year we meet so many people that
our lives can not be relied on one
person’s one decision so let’s say on an
average we meet around hundred people on
an average in a month now since we don’t
know them I understand that we can not
trust all of them all of them would not
be trustworthy I realized that and for
all practical reasons I would not assume
them to be trustworthy but for the same
practical reasons I cannot assume them
not to be trustworthy my experience is
over the last 17 years taught me that
out of hundred people there are only 5
to 10 people who are then genuinely not
trustworthy these people whose
intentions are bad those who want to
ditch you at the drop of a hat whose
idea of a transaction is a win-loss
situation and not a win-win situation
let’s see if there is a spectrum of
truth something called a spectrum of
truth I would put all of them on the
leftmost corner of it
so therefore this time 210 people occupy
that space
does it mean that I’m saying that the
remaining 90 to 95 people are
trustworthy no I am NOT because I am NOT
a fool my experience was that the other
end of the spectrum was also occupied by
only five to ten people only not more
than that so what happens to the
remaining 80 to 90 people yeah they
don’t matter actually they just get you
know distributed across this entire
spectrum of trust let me share a very
interesting thing with you about human
behavior
we humans automatically assume the
position of center in everyone’s life we
assume that everybody is after my life
and therefore gives me so much of
attention that every action of the other
person would be directed towards me
either for the positive or for the
negative but the truth is they are not
even looking at you we are the ones who
were the heroes and heroes of our
stories in their own stories they are
the heroes and hero ins and just that
extra and just say that extra person
with whom they come tranzact for once
and go you don’t go back go back home
the best the closest that I can tell you
is I’m just like Gunther for friends
precisely the riches and the joys and
the Chandal Chandler’s of the world they
go back home
I am I just serve them coffee and my
role in their lives is over so coming
back to the spectrum of trust it was as
simple as it’s a normally distributed
curve where 5 to 10 people are not
trustworthy 5 to 10 people are extremely
trustworthy rest of them I don’t even
know now if I as a person have developed
trust issues the interesting thing is my
trust or mistrust would not follow a
definite pattern it doesn’t it is not
like that I am going to trust all even
number people in my life I am NOT going
to trust all that number people peoples
in people in my life or funny enough I’m
going to trust only those people who
come at prime number location that my
point of me are and meet me I know it
doesn’t happen that ways if I don’t
trust people I am just not going to
trust those people these peoples are not
going to carry a tag
of unplastered enos so therefore in
order to save myself from the disease
from the betrayals I am going to build a
wall against each one of them and in
this entire process I might think that I
have saved myself from the untrustworthy
people I am also building a wall against
the trustworthy one and this is where
the important aspect of element of
surprise comes in place
the element of surprise trust me guys is
always in the hand of the culprit is
always in the hand of the criminal is
always in the hands of the cheater so if
somebody decides to cheat me is would be
able to cheat me and therefore at the
end of a particular previous transaction
you know what is going to happen out of
those five to ten people it is almost
inevitable that one or two would be able
to cheat me but you know what is worse
is not this pain of deceit it is
actually that I am alone in that pain of
deceit I do not have any relationship
that would back me and thereby I end up
feeling even more angrier for the next
round of hundred transactions where I
build an even longer even higher even
stronger wall and imagine what kind of
person would I develop to be I would end
up becoming a person who is grumpy who
is suspecting who is sullen who does not
trust people and what is their my
account already seats all betrayals no
relationships on the other hand if I
trust people I would trust all of them
because I don’t know whether that
trustworthy or not so I don’t care about
it I trust all of them and while the
conditions of betrayal still remain the
same there are always those five to ten
people with whom I have built a
relationship who are going to back me up
even if there is somebody who deceives
me in which case imagine have I actually
lost anything but he doesn’t end there
actually a more important role is played
at this point of time by those eighty
tonight those people for whom I was an
unconcerned fellow but you know what
while these people live their own lives
they are also struggling to identify
whom to trust and whom not to and then
they saw my open arm
they held on to those arms and therefore
I am NOT saying all 80 to 90 of them but
at least five to ten more people they
built a relationship with me and
therefore at the end of every period my
balance sheet my profit and loss account
rent account statement was around one to
two ditches and around 10 to 20
relationship I might be bad at
accounting but I am very sure this is a
profitable scenario I would also like to
and I feel I’m obliged to spend two
minutes of my talk for all the skeptics
who might believe that this theory
doesn’t work let me tell you I am NOT a
fool I might look like one but I am NOT
all right because I know for a fact that
Trust is not equal to blind faith
because today if I trust you people it
is just to identify whether I can trust
you tomorrow or not
always remember that choosing to be
vulnerable is not equal to being
vulnerable when I make a conscious
decision to be vulnerable and put my
trust in your hand
I am also following your actions I am
observing to what you are going to do I
am NOT a fool that weighs that you would
keep cheating me because the rule of my
life has actually become extremely clear
you cheat me once shame on you you cheat
me twice shame on me because then I am
not capable to identify your actions
which is not the case and trust me what
my experience over the last 17 years has
been that people are too scared to lose
a relationship in which the other person
trusts you because we astray started
living in a society where people don’t
trust each other we just look at the
society look at the society that we live
in kids very early in their childhood
they start getting instructions from
their family not to trust anyone else
you know every mother every morning
while packing the Tiffin up for the kids
gives that parental guidance do not
share your Tiffin with your friends
they’ll eat theirs and then lead to
yours as well do you understand what
happens to the kid the kid goes to the
school and the schools aren’t any better
either you know we have unnecessarily
been forced to believe in a competition
that may or may not exist
that student would go ahead of you know
that student is not going ahead of you
because he is not trustworthy
he is getting the rewards of his efforts
you are going to get the rewards of your
effort why can’t people understand that
the same problem keeps haunting people
when they reach colleges how many times
have we heard statements like these are
the best years of your life because once
you reach the corporate world you’re not
going to find real friends imagine what
we haven’t allocated immediately and
immediately because of all these things
we start hitting our corporate world we
don’t trust them and you know what the
image of demonic bosses and conniving
colleagues it becomes so vividly painted
in our minds that we start assuming that
closing up is the best option possible
is this the kind of society that we want
to live it is this the kind of workplace
that we want to build a professional
career I chose no and therefore I
started trusting everyone I trusted
everyone
I trusted my colleagues I trusted my
erstwhile bosses I trusted my co
director I trusted my my students my
clients I even trusted my relative and I
don’t regret that because it was because
of that Plus that we were able to create
a workplace which was a happy workplace
wherein I am so extremely proud to share
that I have been told that the workplace
where you know by company Eddie Cobb it
has been labeled as a sweet little place
a happy place the happiest office not by
me not by my co director but by our
clients our students and believe it or
not by the people who work there it gave
me the courage to move ahead and set up
an agenda for the corporates for the
colleges for the schools to create happy
workplaces and I started working towards
it I want to create workplaces where
people and team members can trust each
other where the employees trust their
bosses the bosses trust their employees
the teachers trust their students and
the students know that their teachers
trust them so that when they are asked
to I didn’t
by the moments of happiness they don’t
have to look back into the past they can
look at their present and they can also
look at the future that this is going to
be a happy moment for them in the end I
really want to tell you people that you
know what is started happening we have
actually started it started living in a
place where everybody seems to be
fighting a battle and the worst part is
that the in this battle the opponent
does not even have a face we don’t even
know whom are we fighting with I really
failed to understand when did this
happen
that we started fighting a battle with
out-of-phase every world seems to be our
opponent do we want to live like this
because I believe that V all of us
should try and trust people and give
them a reason so that thing they can
trust us back you know each one of them
is fighting their own battle I don’t
think we should become another battle
for them to fight
I believe this entire idea is totally
worth it I believe that this dream is
the one that can be achieved I believe
this is the idea that must be strength
trust me thank you so much
[Applause]
in the year 2000 in a class filled with
management students of one of the top B
schools in India the students were
keenly listening to the professor
teaching them a very fascinating case
something called the prisoner’s dilemma
in order to make the class more
interesting the professor asked all the
students to imagine themselves to be one
of the true criminals who have joined
hands together to commit a crime that
would change their lives forever
so the students it sounded like a big
Bollywood blockbuster but the professor
immediately gave a plot twist the two of
you have been caught not while
committing the crime but rather while
trying to run away from the scene of
crime so the police have a doubt on you
but is not very sure about it the two of
you have been kept in two different
rooms you have the freewill to confess
to the crime or to remain silent
what would you do the students were very
sharp at it they knew the choice was
obvious so they unanimously stated we
would remain silent the professor gave a
very sly smile and now introduced
himself into the story as the third
character the Wicked jailer who comes to
you and now gives you an offer of a
lifetime he says why don’t you join
hands with me why don’t you confess and
rat out on your partner in which case we
would be able to help we would be able
to resolve the case we would go set you
free and in that case your partner gets
10 years what would you do now
immediately there is unanimity of the
class broke down the class got divided
into remaining silent or confessing to
the crime now but the professor added on
another twist and said but if you
confess and your partner also confesses
then your confession is of not
much used to us in which case both of
you will get five years the student
again started thinking about it and the
wicked jailer gave another round and he
said you also have the options of
remaining silent both of you remaining
silent in which case we may not be able
to convict you for the said crime but
we’ll definitely charge you for the
public property damages in which case
both of you will get one year the
students knew that it was not all over
and they were expecting one more round
and the wicked jailor gave them the
jailer said that I am going to go to
your partner and give them give him the
same conditions and if you remain silent
and your partner confesses he goes free
and then you get 10 years of jail
what would you do now one would assume
that this situation of multi-dimensional
city you know technicalities would have
confused the young management students
but no they are MBA students and MBA
students are sharp as we all know back
came the reply and everybody almost 90%
of the class shouted we would confess
the most popular students in the class
even went down to elaborate his decision
he said the choices are actually very
simple if I confess the two
possibilities are 0 years or 5 years if
I remain silent the two possibilities
are 1 year and 10 years and since 0
years is better than 1 year and 5 years
better than 10 years I am going to
confess since I don’t know what is the
choice that the other person is going to
make so I am going to feel safe when I
confess silence followed by a huge round
of applause by the entire class the
class erupted in joy and appreciation
and even the professor’s eyes gleamed
with a lot of pride and he said from a
self-interested perspective any rational
mind would do the same any rational mind
would do the same that once the sentence
would have done a lot of good to the
young management students aspirations
and confidence of course he was right of
course the professor was right because
that’s how most of the decisions are
taken by the government by the
mathematicians by the economists
but nobody in that uproar observed that
one student who was sitting in the last
row corner seat who could not understand
even a single bit out of it who had
chosen to remain silent no matter what
the jailer offered and he kept wondering
why is everyone so sure that the other
person would have cheated isn’t it
better that we together be the two of us
suffer a small loss of one year
imprisonment but in the process build up
a lifelong relationship he also wondered
that why is it that people can’t see
that both of them gain more by trusting
than by cheating
he couldn’t ask those questions because
he was too scared to ask this question
in in in in the middle of the rational
minds that night that student would not
sleep not because the incident had
questioned his academic abilities he
wasn’t good at it anyway not because he
couldn’t feel he couldn’t figure out
that the prisoner’s dilemma was not
about trust but primarily because he
kept wondering what would have been the
hypothetical decision made by the other
person he just could not get those
answers
he kept questioning our people really
really not trustworthy would people
ditch you if you trusted them and is it
really irrational to trust people he did
not have those answers but the good news
was he could find the way to find the
answers she realized that he would not
be able to find the answers by not
trusting people because then he wouldn’t
know the outcome therefore he decided to
trust everyone for the next 17 years of
his life he kept on trusting everybody
whom he met at times it was
disappointing at times it was even
earth-shattering at times it was very
scary but he went on and on and after 17
years of this lifelong experiment on
13th of May at 1:21 p.m. that person
stands on one of the
most prestigious platforms in this world
TED talks stand right in front of you
and shares with you this idea of
trusting people and I’m so glad to tell
you it has been totally worth it now I
am not dead I’m very much alive and the
fact that I’m alive and kicking proves
one thing for sure that trusting people
doesn’t kill you thank God for that also
today I am financially independent I am
the founder director of to successfully
running organizations but most
importantly I am extremely happy to
announce that I can claim to be the
happiest person alive and I ascribe
trusting people as one of the biggest
contributors to that success of
happiness allow me to take you along on
this journey the first thing that I
realized in this journey was that life
must not and should not and cannot be
taken as a real life’s prisoner’s
dilemma it is not because in prisoner’s
dilemma it’s a one-on-one situation in
life it is not every day every month
every year we meet so many people that
our lives can not be relied on one
person’s one decision so let’s say on an
average we meet around hundred people on
an average in a month now since we don’t
know them I understand that we can not
trust all of them all of them would not
be trustworthy I realized that and for
all practical reasons I would not assume
them to be trustworthy but for the same
practical reasons I cannot assume them
not to be trustworthy my experience is
over the last 17 years taught me that
out of hundred people there are only 5
to 10 people who are then genuinely not
trustworthy these people whose
intentions are bad those who want to
ditch you at the drop of a hat whose
idea of a transaction is a win-loss
situation and not a win-win situation
let’s see if there is a spectrum of
truth something called a spectrum of
truth I would put all of them on the
leftmost corner of it
so therefore this time 210 people occupy
that space
does it mean that I’m saying that the
remaining 90 to 95 people are
trustworthy no I am NOT because I am NOT
a fool my experience was that the other
end of the spectrum was also occupied by
only five to ten people only not more
than that so what happens to the
remaining 80 to 90 people yeah they
don’t matter actually they just get you
know distributed across this entire
spectrum of trust let me share a very
interesting thing with you about human
behavior
we humans automatically assume the
position of center in everyone’s life we
assume that everybody is after my life
and therefore gives me so much of
attention that every action of the other
person would be directed towards me
either for the positive or for the
negative but the truth is they are not
even looking at you we are the ones who
were the heroes and heroes of our
stories in their own stories they are
the heroes and hero ins and just that
extra and just say that extra person
with whom they come tranzact for once
and go you don’t go back go back home
the best the closest that I can tell you
is I’m just like Gunther for friends
precisely the riches and the joys and
the Chandal Chandler’s of the world they
go back home
I am I just serve them coffee and my
role in their lives is over so coming
back to the spectrum of trust it was as
simple as it’s a normally distributed
curve where 5 to 10 people are not
trustworthy 5 to 10 people are extremely
trustworthy rest of them I don’t even
know now if I as a person have developed
trust issues the interesting thing is my
trust or mistrust would not follow a
definite pattern it doesn’t it is not
like that I am going to trust all even
number people in my life I am NOT going
to trust all that number people peoples
in people in my life or funny enough I’m
going to trust only those people who
come at prime number location that my
point of me are and meet me I know it
doesn’t happen that ways if I don’t
trust people I am just not going to
trust those people these peoples are not
going to carry a tag
of unplastered enos so therefore in
order to save myself from the disease
from the betrayals I am going to build a
wall against each one of them and in
this entire process I might think that I
have saved myself from the untrustworthy
people I am also building a wall against
the trustworthy one and this is where
the important aspect of element of
surprise comes in place
the element of surprise trust me guys is
always in the hand of the culprit is
always in the hand of the criminal is
always in the hands of the cheater so if
somebody decides to cheat me is would be
able to cheat me and therefore at the
end of a particular previous transaction
you know what is going to happen out of
those five to ten people it is almost
inevitable that one or two would be able
to cheat me but you know what is worse
is not this pain of deceit it is
actually that I am alone in that pain of
deceit I do not have any relationship
that would back me and thereby I end up
feeling even more angrier for the next
round of hundred transactions where I
build an even longer even higher even
stronger wall and imagine what kind of
person would I develop to be I would end
up becoming a person who is grumpy who
is suspecting who is sullen who does not
trust people and what is their my
account already seats all betrayals no
relationships on the other hand if I
trust people I would trust all of them
because I don’t know whether that
trustworthy or not so I don’t care about
it I trust all of them and while the
conditions of betrayal still remain the
same there are always those five to ten
people with whom I have built a
relationship who are going to back me up
even if there is somebody who deceives
me in which case imagine have I actually
lost anything but he doesn’t end there
actually a more important role is played
at this point of time by those eighty
tonight those people for whom I was an
unconcerned fellow but you know what
while these people live their own lives
they are also struggling to identify
whom to trust and whom not to and then
they saw my open arm
they held on to those arms and therefore
I am NOT saying all 80 to 90 of them but
at least five to ten more people they
built a relationship with me and
therefore at the end of every period my
balance sheet my profit and loss account
rent account statement was around one to
two ditches and around 10 to 20
relationship I might be bad at
accounting but I am very sure this is a
profitable scenario I would also like to
and I feel I’m obliged to spend two
minutes of my talk for all the skeptics
who might believe that this theory
doesn’t work let me tell you I am NOT a
fool I might look like one but I am NOT
all right because I know for a fact that
Trust is not equal to blind faith
because today if I trust you people it
is just to identify whether I can trust
you tomorrow or not
always remember that choosing to be
vulnerable is not equal to being
vulnerable when I make a conscious
decision to be vulnerable and put my
trust in your hand
I am also following your actions I am
observing to what you are going to do I
am NOT a fool that weighs that you would
keep cheating me because the rule of my
life has actually become extremely clear
you cheat me once shame on you you cheat
me twice shame on me because then I am
not capable to identify your actions
which is not the case and trust me what
my experience over the last 17 years has
been that people are too scared to lose
a relationship in which the other person
trusts you because we astray started
living in a society where people don’t
trust each other we just look at the
society look at the society that we live
in kids very early in their childhood
they start getting instructions from
their family not to trust anyone else
you know every mother every morning
while packing the Tiffin up for the kids
gives that parental guidance do not
share your Tiffin with your friends
they’ll eat theirs and then lead to
yours as well do you understand what
happens to the kid the kid goes to the
school and the schools aren’t any better
either you know we have unnecessarily
been forced to believe in a competition
that may or may not exist
that student would go ahead of you know
that student is not going ahead of you
because he is not trustworthy
he is getting the rewards of his efforts
you are going to get the rewards of your
effort why can’t people understand that
the same problem keeps haunting people
when they reach colleges how many times
have we heard statements like these are
the best years of your life because once
you reach the corporate world you’re not
going to find real friends imagine what
we haven’t allocated immediately and
immediately because of all these things
we start hitting our corporate world we
don’t trust them and you know what the
image of demonic bosses and conniving
colleagues it becomes so vividly painted
in our minds that we start assuming that
closing up is the best option possible
is this the kind of society that we want
to live it is this the kind of workplace
that we want to build a professional
career I chose no and therefore I
started trusting everyone I trusted
everyone
I trusted my colleagues I trusted my
erstwhile bosses I trusted my co
director I trusted my my students my
clients I even trusted my relative and I
don’t regret that because it was because
of that Plus that we were able to create
a workplace which was a happy workplace
wherein I am so extremely proud to share
that I have been told that the workplace
where you know by company Eddie Cobb it
has been labeled as a sweet little place
a happy place the happiest office not by
me not by my co director but by our
clients our students and believe it or
not by the people who work there it gave
me the courage to move ahead and set up
an agenda for the corporates for the
colleges for the schools to create happy
workplaces and I started working towards
it I want to create workplaces where
people and team members can trust each
other where the employees trust their
bosses the bosses trust their employees
the teachers trust their students and
the students know that their teachers
trust them so that when they are asked
to I didn’t
by the moments of happiness they don’t
have to look back into the past they can
look at their present and they can also
look at the future that this is going to
be a happy moment for them in the end I
really want to tell you people that you
know what is started happening we have
actually started it started living in a
place where everybody seems to be
fighting a battle and the worst part is
that the in this battle the opponent
does not even have a face we don’t even
know whom are we fighting with I really
failed to understand when did this
happen
that we started fighting a battle with
out-of-phase every world seems to be our
opponent do we want to live like this
because I believe that V all of us
should try and trust people and give
them a reason so that thing they can
trust us back you know each one of them
is fighting their own battle I don’t
think we should become another battle
for them to fight
I believe this entire idea is totally
worth it I believe that this dream is
the one that can be achieved I believe
this is the idea that must be strength
trust me thank you so much
[Applause]
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