in the fall of 2015 I went to kick I
went to chemotherapy treatment with my
mom who had stage 4 metastatic breast
cancer we did this every week together
it kind of became our thing
we actually had fun weird huh fun at
chemo at the end of the week my mom
would get her weekly dose of chemo
cocktail and I would get a cup of the
strongest black coffee the hospital had
to offer that day when we walked into
the Cancer Center it was unusually quiet
and so when my mom went into the
treatment room she asked her oncologist
I said so quiet today her oncologist
informed her that there are two young
women who would be receiving life-saving
treatment that day and they were 24 and
25 years old 24 and 25 years old
I kept thinking wow that’s my age holy
crap even though I was thinking a lot
more explicit things in my head
we went back into the treatment room and
i sat there distracted because of those
two young women in the room one in eight
women had the chance of being diagnosed
with breast cancer in their lifetime I
was worried about passing my exam on
Monday and what my bank account looked
like when these girls were fighting for
their lives the American Cancer Society
estimates that there are 3.1 million
breast cancer survivors living in the
United States for some perspective
that’s 25 times the population of
Hartford Connecticut where we are right
now I’m sure it’d be really difficult to
find someone in this room who hasn’t
been touched by breast cancer in some
way so let me tell you a little bit
about my story
and why I’m here tonight it all started
the week of my 13th birthday I got my
period for the first time I was
absolutely mortified oh my gosh I had
family members actually sending me
flowers congratulating me on becoming a
woman like I really needed that oh and
my mom got me a period ring a period
ring a garnet ring to symbolize the day
of me becoming a woman I’m sorry but I’m
26 years old and with these monthly
reminders I’ll never forget oh and my
parents were getting a divorce and my
dad was moving out what a great start to
my birthday week at least we were going
to Florida with my dad for our winter
break and going to have the trip of a
lifetime on our way home we were on such
a high we pulled into the driveway and
we saw our mom standing there in the
doorway greeting us and she was trying
to get us to come in quickly and she was
trying to get my dad’s come in as we
went in I thought to myself oh she’s
gonna yell at us because we didn’t wear
enough sunscreen no she actually sat us
down and with my birthday present still
in the corner Sam’s still in my hair and
salt on my sunkissed skin my mom told us
that she was diagnosed with breast
cancer my mom was one of 3.1 million
women who were diving in the United
States with breast cancer we sat there
in silence for a while and couldn’t
really comprehend what cancer meant so
what did cancer mean to me at that age
in my life well cancer meant a few
things to me at age 13 it meant I could
eat ice cream for breakfast because my
mom didn’t want to wait until after
dinner it meant we had tennis lessons
every day because my mom had chemo every
day it meant we had family and friends
come to our house and make us food and
you
the dishes so I didn’t have to do them
it meant we could swear but only
occasionally and I won’t tell you what
that was it also meant that we had to
get another freezer for our basement
so we could fit all the lasagna our
generous community was bringing us I
mean we had lasagna every single night
not really ask me how much I love
lasagna today so at that point in my
life I was young and my mom went through
a bilateral mastectomy reconstruction
chemotherapy and then was cancer free
even though I was 13 years old I did
question why I was cancer as bad as mom
said it was my mom was cancer free and
she started a breast health nonprofit
and for seven years we celebrated then
in May of my sophomore year at the
University of Virginia
I was training for n-c-double-a
Championships competing for the rowing
team and getting a spot on the varsity
team that would compete against some of
the fastest teams in the country in
between three of the grueling practices
my mom wanted to Skype so I took my
protein shake went upstairs and when I
accepted the Skype call I saw my brother
my sister and my mom sitting around the
kitchen table okay now that seemed a
little fishy for a midday Skype session
it triggered a flashback to all the
family talks we had around that kitchen
table Betsy I have stage 4 metastatic
breast cancer and I will never be
cancer-free what did this mean what was
Stage four was there a stage five was
she going to see me graduate or get
married and have kids I didn’t know
but I packed my bags headed back to
Connecticut to spend the rest of the
summer with her after that conversation
we talked about death and dying a lot a
lot a lot and to us we didn’t want to
waste any time being unhappy so we just
accepted it for us it meant five years
of every Christmas could be the last
Christmas every birthday could be the
last birthday every summer solstice
could be the last summer solstice it
also meant five more years of lasagna to
us this was something very tragic but we
wanted to take control of what was
happening in our lives we had a bucket
list so we started working down that
list one thing that was at the top of
the list for me and my younger sister
Mary was going wedding-dress shopping
with my mom we were realistic and knew
we weren’t going to have that special
day with our mom so one day in 2013 my
mom drove me and my sister to Long
Island and we tried on wedding dresses
we actually kept this a huge secret
because we were so far from marriage
that I’m sure nobody would have
understood where we were coming from and
it was actually incredibly sad in morbid
and who wants to talk about that so we
get to the salon and we were really off
to a rocky start my sister and I both
wore black bras to try and white wedding
dresses we didn’t even know how to put
makeup on at that point in our lives and
I can’t even recall if I brush my hair
that day
and while the day started off like that
it ended with us trying on some
beautiful wedding dresses in toasting
with pink champagne
everyone at the salon was so saddened
and upset by her story but to us it was
like any other day when I was in grad
school I was my mom’s primary caretaker
so I went to chemo every week with her
and became very close with all the women
who were receiving treatment around my
mom
most of these women tested positive for
the braket genetic mutation also known
as the breast cancer gene my mom tested
negative for that and actually went to
Turkey for 10 days to pray about those
results she was so nervous about what
that meant for me and my younger sister
and my younger brother the braket
genetic mutation is a is a the breast
cancer gene it means you have a higher
risk for breast and ovarian cancer some
women choose to wait and watch and other
women other women choose to
prophylactically remove their breasts
and/or ovaries I was inspired by these
women taking their health into their own
hands and wrote my thesis on the braket
genetic mutation I needed money at that
point in grad school so I applied to
work for the get in touch foundation
because my mom needed some office help
and I was pretty qualified since I had
been volunteering with them my whole
life
for 13 years when my mom was first
diagnosed with breast cancer she sat me
and my younger sister down and taught us
how to do a breast self-exam
she wanted us to be armed and equipped
with the information we needed to be
strong just like she was she had been
doing breast self-exams her whole life
and when she found a lump on her breast
she went to the doctor and when he said
don’t worry about it come back in a year
I don’t think it’s anything she knew to
question that she was so comfortable
with her body that she was able to
challenge that doctors I think it might
not be cancer well my mom said are you
willing to bet your testicles on that
and he wasn’t so prior to 2004 there was
no program that existed that taught
young girls how to do breast self-exams
so my mom started to get InTouch
foundation the get InTouch foundation is
a global breast health nonprofit that
teaches all about the importance of
breast health they have a program
an innovative tool called the Daisy
wheel that has eight tips on how to do a
breast self-exam and it’s free to
schools all around the world and is
recommended for grades 5 through 12
what’s awesome about this wheel is that
it teaches young girls to be their own
health advocates I think health is
important I don’t have cancer so I can’t
speak on behalf of my mom or any other
cancer survivor for so long I’ve been
telling my mom’s story and it wasn’t
until recently I started to tell my own
and talk about my passion for breast
health education empowerment and
knowledge
my mom passed away a year ago and the
Board of Directors asked me to step up
as president of the get InTouch
Foundation I could not have imagined
anything else and have been honored to
carry out my mom’s life-giving mission
and legacy with the organization breast
cancer is the second leading cause for
cancer deaths and women in the United
States and Connecticut has the highest
breast cancer rates in the country
although we have the highest breast
cancer rates in the country our
mortality rates are decreasing and
that’s partly due to improved treatment
and early detection with breast cancer
my mom had been doing breast self-exams
her whole life so when she found her
breast cancer early on she was able to
have it treated early and because she
was able to treat it early I had 13
years with her after that first
diagnosis I’m not selling you a product
or asking to spend a scan you to spend
your money or hours of your time doing
something I’m asking you to be familiar
with your body and know what your
breasts normally look and feel like and
if anything changes to speak up and talk
to a healthcare provider it often takes
a time of tragedy and a freezer full of
lasagna to help you with these
realizations we shouldn’t be waiting for
a tragedy we should be action-oriented
and already doing it so I encourage you
to do your breast self-exams thank you
you
went to chemotherapy treatment with my
mom who had stage 4 metastatic breast
cancer we did this every week together
it kind of became our thing
we actually had fun weird huh fun at
chemo at the end of the week my mom
would get her weekly dose of chemo
cocktail and I would get a cup of the
strongest black coffee the hospital had
to offer that day when we walked into
the Cancer Center it was unusually quiet
and so when my mom went into the
treatment room she asked her oncologist
I said so quiet today her oncologist
informed her that there are two young
women who would be receiving life-saving
treatment that day and they were 24 and
25 years old 24 and 25 years old
I kept thinking wow that’s my age holy
crap even though I was thinking a lot
more explicit things in my head
we went back into the treatment room and
i sat there distracted because of those
two young women in the room one in eight
women had the chance of being diagnosed
with breast cancer in their lifetime I
was worried about passing my exam on
Monday and what my bank account looked
like when these girls were fighting for
their lives the American Cancer Society
estimates that there are 3.1 million
breast cancer survivors living in the
United States for some perspective
that’s 25 times the population of
Hartford Connecticut where we are right
now I’m sure it’d be really difficult to
find someone in this room who hasn’t
been touched by breast cancer in some
way so let me tell you a little bit
about my story
and why I’m here tonight it all started
the week of my 13th birthday I got my
period for the first time I was
absolutely mortified oh my gosh I had
family members actually sending me
flowers congratulating me on becoming a
woman like I really needed that oh and
my mom got me a period ring a period
ring a garnet ring to symbolize the day
of me becoming a woman I’m sorry but I’m
26 years old and with these monthly
reminders I’ll never forget oh and my
parents were getting a divorce and my
dad was moving out what a great start to
my birthday week at least we were going
to Florida with my dad for our winter
break and going to have the trip of a
lifetime on our way home we were on such
a high we pulled into the driveway and
we saw our mom standing there in the
doorway greeting us and she was trying
to get us to come in quickly and she was
trying to get my dad’s come in as we
went in I thought to myself oh she’s
gonna yell at us because we didn’t wear
enough sunscreen no she actually sat us
down and with my birthday present still
in the corner Sam’s still in my hair and
salt on my sunkissed skin my mom told us
that she was diagnosed with breast
cancer my mom was one of 3.1 million
women who were diving in the United
States with breast cancer we sat there
in silence for a while and couldn’t
really comprehend what cancer meant so
what did cancer mean to me at that age
in my life well cancer meant a few
things to me at age 13 it meant I could
eat ice cream for breakfast because my
mom didn’t want to wait until after
dinner it meant we had tennis lessons
every day because my mom had chemo every
day it meant we had family and friends
come to our house and make us food and
you
the dishes so I didn’t have to do them
it meant we could swear but only
occasionally and I won’t tell you what
that was it also meant that we had to
get another freezer for our basement
so we could fit all the lasagna our
generous community was bringing us I
mean we had lasagna every single night
not really ask me how much I love
lasagna today so at that point in my
life I was young and my mom went through
a bilateral mastectomy reconstruction
chemotherapy and then was cancer free
even though I was 13 years old I did
question why I was cancer as bad as mom
said it was my mom was cancer free and
she started a breast health nonprofit
and for seven years we celebrated then
in May of my sophomore year at the
University of Virginia
I was training for n-c-double-a
Championships competing for the rowing
team and getting a spot on the varsity
team that would compete against some of
the fastest teams in the country in
between three of the grueling practices
my mom wanted to Skype so I took my
protein shake went upstairs and when I
accepted the Skype call I saw my brother
my sister and my mom sitting around the
kitchen table okay now that seemed a
little fishy for a midday Skype session
it triggered a flashback to all the
family talks we had around that kitchen
table Betsy I have stage 4 metastatic
breast cancer and I will never be
cancer-free what did this mean what was
Stage four was there a stage five was
she going to see me graduate or get
married and have kids I didn’t know
but I packed my bags headed back to
Connecticut to spend the rest of the
summer with her after that conversation
we talked about death and dying a lot a
lot a lot and to us we didn’t want to
waste any time being unhappy so we just
accepted it for us it meant five years
of every Christmas could be the last
Christmas every birthday could be the
last birthday every summer solstice
could be the last summer solstice it
also meant five more years of lasagna to
us this was something very tragic but we
wanted to take control of what was
happening in our lives we had a bucket
list so we started working down that
list one thing that was at the top of
the list for me and my younger sister
Mary was going wedding-dress shopping
with my mom we were realistic and knew
we weren’t going to have that special
day with our mom so one day in 2013 my
mom drove me and my sister to Long
Island and we tried on wedding dresses
we actually kept this a huge secret
because we were so far from marriage
that I’m sure nobody would have
understood where we were coming from and
it was actually incredibly sad in morbid
and who wants to talk about that so we
get to the salon and we were really off
to a rocky start my sister and I both
wore black bras to try and white wedding
dresses we didn’t even know how to put
makeup on at that point in our lives and
I can’t even recall if I brush my hair
that day
and while the day started off like that
it ended with us trying on some
beautiful wedding dresses in toasting
with pink champagne
everyone at the salon was so saddened
and upset by her story but to us it was
like any other day when I was in grad
school I was my mom’s primary caretaker
so I went to chemo every week with her
and became very close with all the women
who were receiving treatment around my
mom
most of these women tested positive for
the braket genetic mutation also known
as the breast cancer gene my mom tested
negative for that and actually went to
Turkey for 10 days to pray about those
results she was so nervous about what
that meant for me and my younger sister
and my younger brother the braket
genetic mutation is a is a the breast
cancer gene it means you have a higher
risk for breast and ovarian cancer some
women choose to wait and watch and other
women other women choose to
prophylactically remove their breasts
and/or ovaries I was inspired by these
women taking their health into their own
hands and wrote my thesis on the braket
genetic mutation I needed money at that
point in grad school so I applied to
work for the get in touch foundation
because my mom needed some office help
and I was pretty qualified since I had
been volunteering with them my whole
life
for 13 years when my mom was first
diagnosed with breast cancer she sat me
and my younger sister down and taught us
how to do a breast self-exam
she wanted us to be armed and equipped
with the information we needed to be
strong just like she was she had been
doing breast self-exams her whole life
and when she found a lump on her breast
she went to the doctor and when he said
don’t worry about it come back in a year
I don’t think it’s anything she knew to
question that she was so comfortable
with her body that she was able to
challenge that doctors I think it might
not be cancer well my mom said are you
willing to bet your testicles on that
and he wasn’t so prior to 2004 there was
no program that existed that taught
young girls how to do breast self-exams
so my mom started to get InTouch
foundation the get InTouch foundation is
a global breast health nonprofit that
teaches all about the importance of
breast health they have a program
an innovative tool called the Daisy
wheel that has eight tips on how to do a
breast self-exam and it’s free to
schools all around the world and is
recommended for grades 5 through 12
what’s awesome about this wheel is that
it teaches young girls to be their own
health advocates I think health is
important I don’t have cancer so I can’t
speak on behalf of my mom or any other
cancer survivor for so long I’ve been
telling my mom’s story and it wasn’t
until recently I started to tell my own
and talk about my passion for breast
health education empowerment and
knowledge
my mom passed away a year ago and the
Board of Directors asked me to step up
as president of the get InTouch
Foundation I could not have imagined
anything else and have been honored to
carry out my mom’s life-giving mission
and legacy with the organization breast
cancer is the second leading cause for
cancer deaths and women in the United
States and Connecticut has the highest
breast cancer rates in the country
although we have the highest breast
cancer rates in the country our
mortality rates are decreasing and
that’s partly due to improved treatment
and early detection with breast cancer
my mom had been doing breast self-exams
her whole life so when she found her
breast cancer early on she was able to
have it treated early and because she
was able to treat it early I had 13
years with her after that first
diagnosis I’m not selling you a product
or asking to spend a scan you to spend
your money or hours of your time doing
something I’m asking you to be familiar
with your body and know what your
breasts normally look and feel like and
if anything changes to speak up and talk
to a healthcare provider it often takes
a time of tragedy and a freezer full of
lasagna to help you with these
realizations we shouldn’t be waiting for
a tragedy we should be action-oriented
and already doing it so I encourage you
to do your breast self-exams thank you
you
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