you know in the spirit of transparency
there’s something I think I need to
share with you now tonight to get behind
us it’s something that happened when I
was young it happened in a moment of
youth bravado testosterone I did
something
I wore spandex on TV not any spandex but
red spandex with sequins you know but I
didn’t stop at spandex I also did movies
I actually did a movie with Meryl Streep
and this movie was called death becomes
her and I had this scene with Mara well
Meryl walks into the room and she asked
me where somebody’s sitting and I point
over there to Isabella Rossellini and I
say she’s sitting over here so the
rehearsal goes great when it comes time
to film the scene Meryl walks in like
this and now she’s standing across from
me and she starts doing this and I think
this is acting I’m doing the scene with
Meryl Streep this is so cool
so we get done with the scene I run over
to Meryl and I say Meryl that was
amazing that was fantastic
I said was that method acting what were
you doing and she looks at me and she
says no darling you had a hair in your
face and I was trying to let you know
and somehow after this I thought I could
have a career in film and TV but the end
I’ve always been a I’ve always been an
optimist I’ve been one of those very
very positive you know you can do a type
of people probably annoying at sometimes
being that I’m optimist I was shocked
when these four words came out of my
mouth the night was December 18th 2013
before words were I want to die you see
the night before I had a heart attack
you know as a lifelong athlete former
professional football player gladiator I
put a lot of value and what I could do
with my my physicality my body so the
heart attack wasn’t only a setback it
shattered the entire definition of who I
was you know I was weak I was fragile
and I was broken and I believed that you
know life would never be good for me
again and I thought if I couldn’t live
life on my own terms then what was the
point right but lying there in the
hospital I promised myself one thing I
promised myself that I would not be that
grown man crying and weeping and feeling
sorry for himself in the hospital I
would just not allow that to happen if I
learned something important in that
moment I learned that sometimes the
grief we feel it’s larger than our human
capacity to hold it and then I just
started crying I was laying there in the
hospital just just bawling and I was
feeling sorry for myself and I kept
asking myself you know why me why me why
did this happen to me and I did
everything right I ate all the right
foods I
took all the right supplements I trained
like a beast you know why me and I this
wept as this grown man weeping and until
I had no more tears then in the common
other– thought occurred to me and that
thought was instead of asking myself why
me I changed the question and I started
to ask myself what can I be the second I
changed that question all these ideas
and thoughts and things came pouring
forward I said hey look I can be an
example how to come back after a setback
I could show people how good life could
be after a heart attack and maybe you
have just maybe in the best case
scenario I could take a personal
hardship and turn it into a gift of
inspiration for others then another
thought occurred to me and that was a
broken heart does not mean a broken man
and I realized that I had always been
more than my body that there was this
spirit inside me this light that burned
bright that allowed me to achieve any
and everything I ever had and that light
that light was still there that light
was still burning bright so I made a vow
that day in the hospital I made a vow to
burn bright or die trying
I spent the next few years doing a deep
dive on in researching research
philosophy meditation religion looked at
tons of papers I interviewed hundreds of
people all with one goal and that was
how do we live a happy fulfilled and
that’s true right how do we live a happy
fulfilled meaningful life it seems to be
a a big quiz for a lot of us and it was
for me you know the first thing I
realize is I look back on my life as I
realized I made it so damn hard for
myself to feel happy you know I had tied
all my happiness to what I achieved
that’s just the way I was raised I think
a lot of us are culturally programmed
that way you know we put our heads down
we work hard then when we accomplish
something and only when do we allow
ourselves to feel happy but I found that
that happiness was always short-lived
because I was always chasing the next
thing in truth you know I was constantly
grinding I was stressed and I was
perpetually unsatisfied see what I was
doing is I was chasing gratification I
didn’t understand gratitude you know
once I started practicing gratitude oh
man my life changed in amazing ways and
I really believe that gratitude and
appreciation are the gateway to
happiness and I think the easiest way
I’ve found to practice gratitude was
focusing on the simple things in life
the small things the everyday moments of
human beauty and truth you know could be
your kids laughter the smile of someone
you love
an amazing cup of coffee in the morning
hitting all the green lights so when I
come across one of these moments I came
up with this gratitude practice I’ll
call it to find a way that I could have
it like stick in my body you know it
would stay with me I could retain it now
it’s very very complicated sorry to say
and it’s also very very very high-tech
so I thought maybe it was best if I had
you know most people think what’s gonna
make them happy in life is the big
things right
maybe it’s buying a fancy mansion is
getting that fancy sports car could even
be something crazy like going on a date
with the gladiator
but the truth is that the research tells
us it’s not the magnitude of events that
makes us happy
it’s the frequency of them so each day
my practice is I find three moments of
everyday happiness and I make a deposit
in that bank and every time I do I
accompany it with a gesture and a
physical sound because when we do this
the retention goes up exponentially my
move is catching now I’m not sure the
hips always do that that might just be
here so I have to pay notice but it’s
catching so when I come across one of
these moments in life let’s say I’m
walking in the Sun you know feels good
on my face I’ll take a moment now
express gratitude for it I’ll say thank
you and I’ll say that son feels great on
my face and then I’ll go coaching and
make that deposit in my bank and I know
it seems like a little thing but when we
make these deposits in our happiness
bank every single day it’s like compound
interest your happiness grows and it
starts to flow into other areas in your
life I’ve done this everyday and it’s
made a profound profound difference in
my life I’m happy every day the next
thing I learned is I learned to never
say someday because after a heart attack
I know time isn’t guaranteed you know we
all run around here thinking that we
have so much time you know we don’t my
dad died at 58 years old they died if
you died at 58 and there were you all
these conversations that I wanted to
have with him you know that I told
myself someday and now you know I’m just
left
so if there’s something you want to do
in life
maybe it’s take that trip maybe it’s
look of an old friend maybe it’s really
look your partner in the eye and tell
him you love me now now is it time to do
it the third thing in my research I came
across this quote by the Dalai Lama and
this quote just totally blew my mind no
it just blew me away
and what the Dalai Lama said he said in
every human interaction we have we have
the choice to make the person happier or
less happy right I know a lot of people
think that one person can’t make a
difference but think of all the
interactions you have each day at home
with your family at work at the grocery
store with your friends and if we would
all just take one moment and pick it up
from our cell phone and look at the
human being across from us and take a
moment to lift them up it would make a
tremendous impact on the world there is
this scientific principle it’s called
upstream reciprocity and what upstream
reciprocity means is that if you’re kind
to somebody if you lift them up there’s
a great likelihood that they will go on
and lift somebody else up so the way it
works in the real world is let’s say you
go home and you lift up and you empower
your daughter your daughter feels
empowered so she goes to school and she
empowers her friends her friends feel
empowered so they go empower their
friends and it creates this beautiful
ripple effect of happiness in a world I
think needs it right now would you agree
when we live this way when we take the
dali lama’s word to heart it gives each
and every one of us in the audience the
power to change the world one human
interaction at a time that’s a world I’m
excited to live in the last thing I
learned about how to live happy
meaningful and fulfilled life wasn’t
something I learned from a book or
through research I learned it the night
I was in the hospital and after the
heart attack and I wasn’t sure if I was
gonna live or die at that time there was
only one thing that was important to me
I didn’t care about the size of my home
I didn’t care about the make of my car I
didn’t care about the plaques on my wall
I only wanted one thing I wanted the
people I loved close to me and I wanted
them to know how much I loved him in the
end nothing else mattered I lost my mom
three months ago to cancer as I look
back I can say that you know having a
heart attack might have been the best
thing that ever happened to me you know
it taught me tell me what was important
in life
you taught me what I loved in life it
taught me that you know even as
heartbroken as I was at the prospect of
losing my mother it taught me to have
gratitude for the time I had left with
her it also taught me that I had the
power to lift her up so
so each and every time I wouldn’t saw
her no matter how bad cancer took its
toll on her each time I told her how
beautiful she was
I told her how much I loved her you know
in her in her final days as it got
towards the end you know my sister and I
we made sure that everybody she loved
and everybody she cared about was close
to her and they were by her side because
I know in the end I know in the end you
know nothing you know nothing else
matters but loved connection and
relationships you know my mom after
every conversation we had throughout my
life she would say the same thing at the
end of it she would say donbot a now
combate is a Japanese word there’s not a
literal translation but it means to keep
your chin up to keep going so for my
mother there everyone here tonight
I say GaN bought a keep your chins up
[Applause] thank you
there’s something I think I need to
share with you now tonight to get behind
us it’s something that happened when I
was young it happened in a moment of
youth bravado testosterone I did
something
I wore spandex on TV not any spandex but
red spandex with sequins you know but I
didn’t stop at spandex I also did movies
I actually did a movie with Meryl Streep
and this movie was called death becomes
her and I had this scene with Mara well
Meryl walks into the room and she asked
me where somebody’s sitting and I point
over there to Isabella Rossellini and I
say she’s sitting over here so the
rehearsal goes great when it comes time
to film the scene Meryl walks in like
this and now she’s standing across from
me and she starts doing this and I think
this is acting I’m doing the scene with
Meryl Streep this is so cool
so we get done with the scene I run over
to Meryl and I say Meryl that was
amazing that was fantastic
I said was that method acting what were
you doing and she looks at me and she
says no darling you had a hair in your
face and I was trying to let you know
and somehow after this I thought I could
have a career in film and TV but the end
I’ve always been a I’ve always been an
optimist I’ve been one of those very
very positive you know you can do a type
of people probably annoying at sometimes
being that I’m optimist I was shocked
when these four words came out of my
mouth the night was December 18th 2013
before words were I want to die you see
the night before I had a heart attack
you know as a lifelong athlete former
professional football player gladiator I
put a lot of value and what I could do
with my my physicality my body so the
heart attack wasn’t only a setback it
shattered the entire definition of who I
was you know I was weak I was fragile
and I was broken and I believed that you
know life would never be good for me
again and I thought if I couldn’t live
life on my own terms then what was the
point right but lying there in the
hospital I promised myself one thing I
promised myself that I would not be that
grown man crying and weeping and feeling
sorry for himself in the hospital I
would just not allow that to happen if I
learned something important in that
moment I learned that sometimes the
grief we feel it’s larger than our human
capacity to hold it and then I just
started crying I was laying there in the
hospital just just bawling and I was
feeling sorry for myself and I kept
asking myself you know why me why me why
did this happen to me and I did
everything right I ate all the right
foods I
took all the right supplements I trained
like a beast you know why me and I this
wept as this grown man weeping and until
I had no more tears then in the common
other– thought occurred to me and that
thought was instead of asking myself why
me I changed the question and I started
to ask myself what can I be the second I
changed that question all these ideas
and thoughts and things came pouring
forward I said hey look I can be an
example how to come back after a setback
I could show people how good life could
be after a heart attack and maybe you
have just maybe in the best case
scenario I could take a personal
hardship and turn it into a gift of
inspiration for others then another
thought occurred to me and that was a
broken heart does not mean a broken man
and I realized that I had always been
more than my body that there was this
spirit inside me this light that burned
bright that allowed me to achieve any
and everything I ever had and that light
that light was still there that light
was still burning bright so I made a vow
that day in the hospital I made a vow to
burn bright or die trying
I spent the next few years doing a deep
dive on in researching research
philosophy meditation religion looked at
tons of papers I interviewed hundreds of
people all with one goal and that was
how do we live a happy fulfilled and
that’s true right how do we live a happy
fulfilled meaningful life it seems to be
a a big quiz for a lot of us and it was
for me you know the first thing I
realize is I look back on my life as I
realized I made it so damn hard for
myself to feel happy you know I had tied
all my happiness to what I achieved
that’s just the way I was raised I think
a lot of us are culturally programmed
that way you know we put our heads down
we work hard then when we accomplish
something and only when do we allow
ourselves to feel happy but I found that
that happiness was always short-lived
because I was always chasing the next
thing in truth you know I was constantly
grinding I was stressed and I was
perpetually unsatisfied see what I was
doing is I was chasing gratification I
didn’t understand gratitude you know
once I started practicing gratitude oh
man my life changed in amazing ways and
I really believe that gratitude and
appreciation are the gateway to
happiness and I think the easiest way
I’ve found to practice gratitude was
focusing on the simple things in life
the small things the everyday moments of
human beauty and truth you know could be
your kids laughter the smile of someone
you love
an amazing cup of coffee in the morning
hitting all the green lights so when I
come across one of these moments I came
up with this gratitude practice I’ll
call it to find a way that I could have
it like stick in my body you know it
would stay with me I could retain it now
it’s very very complicated sorry to say
and it’s also very very very high-tech
so I thought maybe it was best if I had
you know most people think what’s gonna
make them happy in life is the big
things right
maybe it’s buying a fancy mansion is
getting that fancy sports car could even
be something crazy like going on a date
with the gladiator
but the truth is that the research tells
us it’s not the magnitude of events that
makes us happy
it’s the frequency of them so each day
my practice is I find three moments of
everyday happiness and I make a deposit
in that bank and every time I do I
accompany it with a gesture and a
physical sound because when we do this
the retention goes up exponentially my
move is catching now I’m not sure the
hips always do that that might just be
here so I have to pay notice but it’s
catching so when I come across one of
these moments in life let’s say I’m
walking in the Sun you know feels good
on my face I’ll take a moment now
express gratitude for it I’ll say thank
you and I’ll say that son feels great on
my face and then I’ll go coaching and
make that deposit in my bank and I know
it seems like a little thing but when we
make these deposits in our happiness
bank every single day it’s like compound
interest your happiness grows and it
starts to flow into other areas in your
life I’ve done this everyday and it’s
made a profound profound difference in
my life I’m happy every day the next
thing I learned is I learned to never
say someday because after a heart attack
I know time isn’t guaranteed you know we
all run around here thinking that we
have so much time you know we don’t my
dad died at 58 years old they died if
you died at 58 and there were you all
these conversations that I wanted to
have with him you know that I told
myself someday and now you know I’m just
left
so if there’s something you want to do
in life
maybe it’s take that trip maybe it’s
look of an old friend maybe it’s really
look your partner in the eye and tell
him you love me now now is it time to do
it the third thing in my research I came
across this quote by the Dalai Lama and
this quote just totally blew my mind no
it just blew me away
and what the Dalai Lama said he said in
every human interaction we have we have
the choice to make the person happier or
less happy right I know a lot of people
think that one person can’t make a
difference but think of all the
interactions you have each day at home
with your family at work at the grocery
store with your friends and if we would
all just take one moment and pick it up
from our cell phone and look at the
human being across from us and take a
moment to lift them up it would make a
tremendous impact on the world there is
this scientific principle it’s called
upstream reciprocity and what upstream
reciprocity means is that if you’re kind
to somebody if you lift them up there’s
a great likelihood that they will go on
and lift somebody else up so the way it
works in the real world is let’s say you
go home and you lift up and you empower
your daughter your daughter feels
empowered so she goes to school and she
empowers her friends her friends feel
empowered so they go empower their
friends and it creates this beautiful
ripple effect of happiness in a world I
think needs it right now would you agree
when we live this way when we take the
dali lama’s word to heart it gives each
and every one of us in the audience the
power to change the world one human
interaction at a time that’s a world I’m
excited to live in the last thing I
learned about how to live happy
meaningful and fulfilled life wasn’t
something I learned from a book or
through research I learned it the night
I was in the hospital and after the
heart attack and I wasn’t sure if I was
gonna live or die at that time there was
only one thing that was important to me
I didn’t care about the size of my home
I didn’t care about the make of my car I
didn’t care about the plaques on my wall
I only wanted one thing I wanted the
people I loved close to me and I wanted
them to know how much I loved him in the
end nothing else mattered I lost my mom
three months ago to cancer as I look
back I can say that you know having a
heart attack might have been the best
thing that ever happened to me you know
it taught me tell me what was important
in life
you taught me what I loved in life it
taught me that you know even as
heartbroken as I was at the prospect of
losing my mother it taught me to have
gratitude for the time I had left with
her it also taught me that I had the
power to lift her up so
so each and every time I wouldn’t saw
her no matter how bad cancer took its
toll on her each time I told her how
beautiful she was
I told her how much I loved her you know
in her in her final days as it got
towards the end you know my sister and I
we made sure that everybody she loved
and everybody she cared about was close
to her and they were by her side because
I know in the end I know in the end you
know nothing you know nothing else
matters but loved connection and
relationships you know my mom after
every conversation we had throughout my
life she would say the same thing at the
end of it she would say donbot a now
combate is a Japanese word there’s not a
literal translation but it means to keep
your chin up to keep going so for my
mother there everyone here tonight
I say GaN bought a keep your chins up
[Applause] thank you
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