[Applause]
all right I want to tell you how I got
my super powers through fatherhood I was
working a job I hated okay and I don’t
know if anyone here ever worked the job
they hate it has anyone here ever worked
a job they hate it okay good cuz I’m not
alone and I have something to confess
and I don’t want you guys to judge me
feels like a safe space this is safe
space okay good okay I was working the
job I hated my manager and I were not
getting along okay I was sitting in my
car looking in the rearview mirror
trying to figure out what’s friend I
could call to call in a bomb threat so I
didn’t have to go back in the building
okay this this this was having a lot of
issues for me I was having a lot of
issues at my job and I come home every
day from work and my wife would ask me
the same question and when you hate your
job this is the worst question anyone
could ask you she’d say hey babe how was
your day
and I’d say are you bringing up old
stuff I just left there I don’t want to
think about that place again see we were
spending about 40 percent of my income
on childcare we had one child and we
were pregnant with our second child and
we were trying to figure out how we were
gonna fix this whole thing of this money
situation and she said hey babe I got a
great idea I said what’s up she said uh
I think you’d be a great stay-at-home
dad I was like why would you say
something like that she said because
babies like you
I was like no they don’t she was like no
they do like you and and I think it
would be great for our children to see
what love looks like coming from a
father okay so I had issues with issues
with this because I haven’t seen a lot
of stay-at-home dads before and I I
thought men would judge me so get this I
said this please don’t be offended I
said this I said you know that sounds
boring and uh what do stay-at-home moms
do all day anyway she smiled at me a
smile only a woman full of knowledge can
smile and said well this sense this
should be easy for you and it will save
us some money it seems like a no-brainer
fast forward six months I’d been a
stay-at-home dad for about a week I was
standing in my bathroom looking into the
mirror crying tears running all down my
face my one-and-a-half year old was
banging on a bathroom door because I
locked them out you know crying tears
running down his face and my newborn was
in the bassinet crying tears running
down his face I looked at myself in the
mirror and I said which one of your
friends could you call a call in a bomb
threat man we got to get out of here
see I had traded my manager for my
children I didn’t know what I got myself
into I thought I knew everything about
being a stay-at-home parent and in fact
I knew nothing at all
because even though my manager was a was
well at least my my children were a lot
cuter than my manager they were just as
demanding
what had I gotten myself into I thought
I knew everything about being a
stay-at-home parent in fact I knew
nothing I thought that all I had to do
was feed them and change their diapers
and they’d be fine like I really thought
that that’s that’s it
Sesame Street on TV keep them distracted
applesauce and a bowl milk in a bottle
they’d be fine but if you leave children
alone they’ll get into just a little bit
of mischief you know what else I thought
I knew about being a stay-at-home parent
I thought that all I had to do was take
him to the park once a week because if I
took him to the park
once a week they’d be fine in fact I
knew nothing at all okay if you take
kids to park every day then that means
they get dirty of the every day if they
got dirty every day they need baths
every day if they got baths every day I
just don’t think you understand see
having two kids under two you end up
changing over 20 dirty diapers a day
okay and if you give them a bath that’s
just more nakedness and a higher
probability of getting peed on and no
one likes getting peed on even if it’s
from a baby
but I read this article by father Lee
which sites has surveyed them by two
detergent companies only Moen persons
and they did this study and it said that
at two hours a day prisoners get more
outside time than children
that convicted me and so we went outside
[Music]
see I knew nothing about being a
stay-at-home parent and once I embraced
the fact that I knew nothing I’d begin
to learn from my new managers and I
always was told that is as a
stay-at-home parent you get no sleep or
as a parent in general you get no sleep
but that’s not true because if you sleep
when they do you actually can’t get some
sleep you know what else I thought as a
stay-at-home parent I thought I knew
that the best way to teach kids right
from wrong was to discipline them
because that would make sure they
understood right from wrong the pain the
fear that would teach them but the truth
is the best way for me to teach my
children right from wrong is to teach
them take out a whiteboard and draw
pictures and make connections that they
can understand how was the best way a
lot of these images you’re seeing a
coming from my youtube channel belief in
fatherhood documents the misadventures
of being a stay-at-home dad and it’s not
perfect it’s just showing that I’m
trying you know I’m not trying to be an
example but just proof that it’s
possible for whoever else is doing this
you know what I also know about being a
stay-at-home parent I knew that children
needed love but I just didn’t know what
love looked like
[Music]
it turns out putting diapers on your
head and play fighting until the kids
fall asleep is a great way to love your
parents your kids so I was learning a
lot but it’s not all fun and boogers is
it I asked a group of stay-at-home
parents was the hardest thing the the
thing they underestimated most about
being stay-at-home parents and they said
that the loneliness was one of those
things not having someone else to talk
to feeling inadequate feeling selfish
for wanting me time in nursery rhymes
suck like really mary had a little lamb
is cool the first couple times but after
all these years on repeat you wonder why
Mary just saying make herself a wall
skirt and have lamb chops you know what
I’m saying the one thing I
underestimated most was the emotional
fatigue see I was an artist so I’d write
songs for other artists because that’s
how I made money from home but when
you’re with your kids all day you become
emotionally tired and that means all
your creativity comes from your emotion
so you just tapped out you’re done so
you become done with time that time
timetables timeout time like to cook
with all types of time you’re just done
you had no time for anything and some
people are done with their spouse as a
stay-at-home parent because the spouse
just doesn’t get it I was talking to a
friend of mine he said I’m man I come
home from work drawers I the drawers are
open clothes hanging outside the drawers
the kids are still in their pajamas and
it can’t be that hard
to have dinner ready when I get home
right
started to freak out you know I’m saying
like he was trying to confide in me up I
said you have no idea what you’re
talking about she wakes up every morning
tired from the night before baby
attached to her breads dropping this kid
off at school taking this one to the
park laundry piles up to the skies he
has a conversation on the phone for
hours with your mom about God knows what
it takes the dog you wanted for a walk
and nobody died bro she kept your kids
alive all day that’s hard I have become
an advocate for stay-at-home parents why
because finally I was standing in their
shoes because when you stand into
someone else’s shoes you see the world
from a different perspective and when
you start to take steps it feels like
baby steps wobbling but then they turn
into stomps and you start making
footprints for the next generation to
walk in so we’re walking on a certain
path as parents we’re all in this
together I mean no one can deny that
family is one of the biggest foundations
in anyone’s life and we’re all walking
on this path and we’re we’re pulling
these thickets out of the way in these
storms making it easier for the ones
coming after us it turns out parenting
has a lot more to do with landscaping
and learning more than teaching and the
best thing to do was to show up for
class be present is what I learned as a
stay-at-home dad and let your presence
be a gift
this was me coming home from tour one
day I thought that the father was
supposed to pursue the child but it
turns out the father makes himself
present and the children run after him
and that right there is a superpower and
that right there my friends is
everything thank you
[Applause]
all right I want to tell you how I got
my super powers through fatherhood I was
working a job I hated okay and I don’t
know if anyone here ever worked the job
they hate it has anyone here ever worked
a job they hate it okay good cuz I’m not
alone and I have something to confess
and I don’t want you guys to judge me
feels like a safe space this is safe
space okay good okay I was working the
job I hated my manager and I were not
getting along okay I was sitting in my
car looking in the rearview mirror
trying to figure out what’s friend I
could call to call in a bomb threat so I
didn’t have to go back in the building
okay this this this was having a lot of
issues for me I was having a lot of
issues at my job and I come home every
day from work and my wife would ask me
the same question and when you hate your
job this is the worst question anyone
could ask you she’d say hey babe how was
your day
and I’d say are you bringing up old
stuff I just left there I don’t want to
think about that place again see we were
spending about 40 percent of my income
on childcare we had one child and we
were pregnant with our second child and
we were trying to figure out how we were
gonna fix this whole thing of this money
situation and she said hey babe I got a
great idea I said what’s up she said uh
I think you’d be a great stay-at-home
dad I was like why would you say
something like that she said because
babies like you
I was like no they don’t she was like no
they do like you and and I think it
would be great for our children to see
what love looks like coming from a
father okay so I had issues with issues
with this because I haven’t seen a lot
of stay-at-home dads before and I I
thought men would judge me so get this I
said this please don’t be offended I
said this I said you know that sounds
boring and uh what do stay-at-home moms
do all day anyway she smiled at me a
smile only a woman full of knowledge can
smile and said well this sense this
should be easy for you and it will save
us some money it seems like a no-brainer
fast forward six months I’d been a
stay-at-home dad for about a week I was
standing in my bathroom looking into the
mirror crying tears running all down my
face my one-and-a-half year old was
banging on a bathroom door because I
locked them out you know crying tears
running down his face and my newborn was
in the bassinet crying tears running
down his face I looked at myself in the
mirror and I said which one of your
friends could you call a call in a bomb
threat man we got to get out of here
see I had traded my manager for my
children I didn’t know what I got myself
into I thought I knew everything about
being a stay-at-home parent and in fact
I knew nothing at all
because even though my manager was a was
well at least my my children were a lot
cuter than my manager they were just as
demanding
what had I gotten myself into I thought
I knew everything about being a
stay-at-home parent in fact I knew
nothing I thought that all I had to do
was feed them and change their diapers
and they’d be fine like I really thought
that that’s that’s it
Sesame Street on TV keep them distracted
applesauce and a bowl milk in a bottle
they’d be fine but if you leave children
alone they’ll get into just a little bit
of mischief you know what else I thought
I knew about being a stay-at-home parent
I thought that all I had to do was take
him to the park once a week because if I
took him to the park
once a week they’d be fine in fact I
knew nothing at all okay if you take
kids to park every day then that means
they get dirty of the every day if they
got dirty every day they need baths
every day if they got baths every day I
just don’t think you understand see
having two kids under two you end up
changing over 20 dirty diapers a day
okay and if you give them a bath that’s
just more nakedness and a higher
probability of getting peed on and no
one likes getting peed on even if it’s
from a baby
but I read this article by father Lee
which sites has surveyed them by two
detergent companies only Moen persons
and they did this study and it said that
at two hours a day prisoners get more
outside time than children
that convicted me and so we went outside
[Music]
see I knew nothing about being a
stay-at-home parent and once I embraced
the fact that I knew nothing I’d begin
to learn from my new managers and I
always was told that is as a
stay-at-home parent you get no sleep or
as a parent in general you get no sleep
but that’s not true because if you sleep
when they do you actually can’t get some
sleep you know what else I thought as a
stay-at-home parent I thought I knew
that the best way to teach kids right
from wrong was to discipline them
because that would make sure they
understood right from wrong the pain the
fear that would teach them but the truth
is the best way for me to teach my
children right from wrong is to teach
them take out a whiteboard and draw
pictures and make connections that they
can understand how was the best way a
lot of these images you’re seeing a
coming from my youtube channel belief in
fatherhood documents the misadventures
of being a stay-at-home dad and it’s not
perfect it’s just showing that I’m
trying you know I’m not trying to be an
example but just proof that it’s
possible for whoever else is doing this
you know what I also know about being a
stay-at-home parent I knew that children
needed love but I just didn’t know what
love looked like
[Music]
it turns out putting diapers on your
head and play fighting until the kids
fall asleep is a great way to love your
parents your kids so I was learning a
lot but it’s not all fun and boogers is
it I asked a group of stay-at-home
parents was the hardest thing the the
thing they underestimated most about
being stay-at-home parents and they said
that the loneliness was one of those
things not having someone else to talk
to feeling inadequate feeling selfish
for wanting me time in nursery rhymes
suck like really mary had a little lamb
is cool the first couple times but after
all these years on repeat you wonder why
Mary just saying make herself a wall
skirt and have lamb chops you know what
I’m saying the one thing I
underestimated most was the emotional
fatigue see I was an artist so I’d write
songs for other artists because that’s
how I made money from home but when
you’re with your kids all day you become
emotionally tired and that means all
your creativity comes from your emotion
so you just tapped out you’re done so
you become done with time that time
timetables timeout time like to cook
with all types of time you’re just done
you had no time for anything and some
people are done with their spouse as a
stay-at-home parent because the spouse
just doesn’t get it I was talking to a
friend of mine he said I’m man I come
home from work drawers I the drawers are
open clothes hanging outside the drawers
the kids are still in their pajamas and
it can’t be that hard
to have dinner ready when I get home
right
started to freak out you know I’m saying
like he was trying to confide in me up I
said you have no idea what you’re
talking about she wakes up every morning
tired from the night before baby
attached to her breads dropping this kid
off at school taking this one to the
park laundry piles up to the skies he
has a conversation on the phone for
hours with your mom about God knows what
it takes the dog you wanted for a walk
and nobody died bro she kept your kids
alive all day that’s hard I have become
an advocate for stay-at-home parents why
because finally I was standing in their
shoes because when you stand into
someone else’s shoes you see the world
from a different perspective and when
you start to take steps it feels like
baby steps wobbling but then they turn
into stomps and you start making
footprints for the next generation to
walk in so we’re walking on a certain
path as parents we’re all in this
together I mean no one can deny that
family is one of the biggest foundations
in anyone’s life and we’re all walking
on this path and we’re we’re pulling
these thickets out of the way in these
storms making it easier for the ones
coming after us it turns out parenting
has a lot more to do with landscaping
and learning more than teaching and the
best thing to do was to show up for
class be present is what I learned as a
stay-at-home dad and let your presence
be a gift
this was me coming home from tour one
day I thought that the father was
supposed to pursue the child but it
turns out the father makes himself
present and the children run after him
and that right there is a superpower and
that right there my friends is
everything thank you
[Applause]
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