hi ok you got to make a girl feel
welcome hi how are you all doing good
hasn’t it been an amazing start to the
afternoon firstly I want to congratulate
you all for coming out because being
here today is gonna change your life in
some way shape or form I can guarantee
you that don’t you feel like you’ve been
changed already just by hearing other
people’s stories and people sharing
amazing so I am Kelly Brian I was born
in plasto Hospital and my mum and dad
Marilyn and Terry they are second
generation immigrants from the Caribbean
yes that’s right don’t worry we can be a
little interactive it’s ok ok right and
and so when I was born in plasto in the
seventies you can imagine what it was
like right so racism was rise and you
know I’d go to school and get spat on I
was the only black kid in my class and
and it was what it was but what was
interesting about my upbringing is I had
a grandfather who had come over from the
Caribbean and basically he came with
nothing he was unable to read or to
write and he bought a house for five
thousand pounds and eventually once he
passed away that house was worth 750,000
pounds
props to you granddad but what granddad
taught me is that he could come here
with nothing and hand on so much right
so I was just so proud of him so proud
and when I was two and a half I know I
was taking part in the Junior Miss World
contest right I know and I don’t even
know I won the contest
thanks very much I’m not really sure
what I did to win I’ve asked my mum a
million times mommy what did I do she
said well you kind of just walked up and
down turned around and came back and had
a little sash on I’ve still got the sash
and that and the little swimming costume
that was wearing I know crazy so I’m and
I won but at that at that contest there
was a lady called Yvonne Deerman who
taught at local dance school
beat up two local dance schools so
basically she said came up at the end
and said your daughter’s got some talent
among the site
yeah I’m still trying to figure that out
and she said you know I teach at this
school called Italia Conti and it’s a
performing arts school in London and my
mum’s like yeah right I can imagine how
much that’s gonna cost but my mum was
one of those women that was determined
and she was a real fighter and so
through her determination we applied to
our local council that’s newer Council
and they gave us a scholarship and I
auditioned and I got into Italia Conti
amazing it felt amazing because all of
my peers and people around me were
getting pregnant having babies or in
jail at that time so I was like this is
good right so I’m at Italia Conti and
I’m rubbing shoulders with people that
I’ve seen on television you know people
from EastEnders and knowing me Campbell
I had her book I was like wow I kind of
touched it quite a lot that’s a bit
weird but anyway so I was able to be
exposed to different things a different
life in a different culture and I
thought wow this is amazing I’m here
this is great and that’s cool I met a
girl called Louise oh come on Louise
Redknapp that’s right so I met Louise
Redknapp at school and we were really
good powers and we used to hang out
anyway there is this time that we went
to a club
underage not that I condone that or
anything and when we were at the club
there was this guy and he came up to us
and he said my name is dangles Denis
Inglesby
here’s my card and he gave it to us and
I was like Oh Lew you know he’s trying
to pull you by he’s not really a record
producer long story is very short
he was a record producer and he called
and he said we called him and he said
I’m a record producer and I’m putting
together this group would you come down
and meet us and she did she went down
and she met Dennis and he was lovely and
then they needed another girl for the
band like my best friend she knows she
sings really well and she dances too
maybe you should meet her and so
eventually eternal was born thank you
for that
and so I’m in this band and I’m thinking
you know I’m 15 at the time I’m like you
know my school was like you need to stay
and finish this and do that and I’m like
yeah CoA I’m going but I didn’t actually
know what I was going to do so it just
seemed like a really good opportunity
and I was like yeah I’m gonna take that
and I thought hanging out with my really
good friends singing and dancing great
sounds like it takes all of the boxes
well it wasn’t as great as I thought it
was gonna be yeah I was traveling around
the world and I was meeting amazing
famous people and you know I met the
Pope and he was great and you know I met
Whitney Houston and she was amazing
and we’d be taking this jet-set
lifestyle you know private jets and this
and that and the other and it was
amazing but at the roots of it and my
heart I was being I wasn’t really
appreciated in that band in that band I
I kind of lost myself lost who I was
lost my identity I kind of felt like I
was there because as I’d overheard
someone say before oh she’s the pretty
one what does that mean what I have no
talent no skill no ability you know when
I was at school it’s Holly a concert
they used to say to me well you’re too
fat to be a ballet dancer you don’t sing
well enough but you’re okay acting and I
remember that kind of stuck with me you
know when a teacher tells you something
and they’re these teachers that have
this kind of I don’t know authority over
you you kind of take that on board and
it kind of took me right back to that
place of feeling like no one nothing and
no good and in the band I was really sad
a lot of the time so I was you know out
front I’d be smiling and you know katene
getting red carpet doing my best to hold
it together but inside was the same
little girl that was born in plaster
Hospital feeling trodden on stamped on
and not very good about myself
and so I was made it was in the papers
someone came to me and said oh it’s in
the papers today that you are a
millionaire now is 21 at the time and
I’m like what me they’re talking about
I’m a millionaire like ya and it’s not
something you really think about or you
kind of put a medal on your walls and
say look I’ve done this I’ve achieved
that because I was so sad inside the
outside I didn’t really make any
difference so yeah I had a nice car I
bought my mom a nice car I went on nice
holidays I had nice clothes and I lived
in a nice house but none has that meant
anything if inside you’re broken and
then one day I got a fax sent to my
house those days it was the 90s right so
excuse all those under 25s in the room
so I got fax into my house and the fax
said as of this day in 1999 you are no
I’m sorry 1998 you are no longer a
member of the band okay so I read this
fax and I’m like sorry I didn’t have a
back-up plan right I didn’t go to
university remember I was told you don’t
you can’t dance because you’re too fat
you can’t sing because you’re not that
good and I’m in this band kind of
feeling like okay well they sing better
than I do so I could just kind of maybe
go along here and do my best right and
and I’m told that I’m stacked I have no
backup plan and so from that day forward
I was literally I just hid myself
basically didn’t really want to see
anyone didn’t really want to talk to
anyone and it hurt a great deal because
it was a public sacking right there was
no hiding it’s in the papers everywhere
I went that’s it that’s what anybody
everybody wanted to talk to me about
everywhere I went that’s all that was on
people’s lips I had you got the SAP what
did you do did you do this did you do
that
so anyway you’d think that was bad
enough one morning I woke up and I
couldn’t bend my index finger this
finger and I was like this is really
strange but I thought you know I
probably just slept funny on my you know
you’re not kidding you when you put your
arm under your head and I thought maybe
I’ve just slept awkwardly and it’ll be
fine but that finger became a claw my
hand was permanently like this I thought
this is not right and I went to the
doctors and unfortunately GPS didn’t
understand what was wrong with me and
said why don’t you just go home and
paracetamol three times a day you’ll be
fine ever so this hand became a claw and
then I lost the ability to move my right
arm and then I started to develop ulcers
in my mouth on my arms down my legs and
the ulcers in my mouth were so many that
I then couldn’t eat properly if you
tried to eat with an ulcer
so my mouth was covered in ulcers and I
couldn’t really eat probably so I lost a
tremendous amount of weight and then I
get you know invited to things like you
know do you wanna come to this premiere
Kelly would you like to do this Rick I’m
like no right now I’m not in the place I
felt you know dirty contagious I didn’t
really want to be around anybody fare
less and walk on a red carpet
and those ulcers that were on my face
they were open Pasi wounds that just
kept losing and wouldn’t heal and that
was the same in my hair in my ears and
down my body eventually I was diagnosed
this is after a very long time and the
disease spiraling out of control
but eventually I was diagnosed with
systemic lupus erythematosus and I
remember the moment so vividly I was in
hospital and there were a row of doctors
in front of my bed and I’d been in
hospital for a while because they
there’s no one definitive test for lupus
and so they were all lined up at the end
of my bed and they said right Kelly
we’ve got your final diagnosis you are
diagnosed with systemic lupus
erythematosus over my head right it’s
systemic lupus erythematosus you won’t
be able to have children you’ll probably
end up in a wheelchair and there’s no
cure
no cure I’ve never heard of this disease
and you’re telling me there’s no cure
funny enough what I said was well great
cuz that’s gonna be somebody else’s
diagnosis cuz I’m getting on a plane and
I’m going to record my solo album and
the doctor looks at me again and said
Kelly I don’t think you’re taking in the
severity of this condition and I said
yes I understand the severity of this
condition however that’s not going to be
my story so from then on that day
forward I was determined to to drive
forward and move forward and the worst
of the disease was just last year when
my daughter Kaori came out from nursery
with a cold and gave me a kiss and when
she kissed me she had a common cold but
it was meningococcal so 48 hours later I
was taken into intensive care with
pneumonia what the doctors didn’t know
is that lupus had gone to my brain so I
lost the ability to speak to walk and to
function for myself and I’m saying this
today because not because I want you to
feel sorry for me or feel bad but it’s
to know that if I can overcome something
so can you that if just eight months ago
I was sitting in bed not able to
communicate my thoughts and my feelings
then you can overcome anything anyone
and any challenge that you face yes I’m
a fighter but I’m no different than you
my story is no different than yours yes
it may be different on a scale but it’s
no different in terms of your pain or
your journey or the challenges that you
have to face so I stand here not as a
martyr or somebody to be pitied but I
want to stand here as an inspiration
when I was told the title of the theme
of the TED talks today being think again
I was like yeah that’s right because I
want to challenge you and I’m not being
rude by disassociating myself from
whoever is to hear this but I want to
challenge you this is just me and you
talking me and you sharing I want that
when you leave this room that you’ll
take something with you
some little piece of my energy of my
giving to you today something that will
challenge you to think differently this
here is a sand timer it’s a sand timer
it’s an illustration of time because
that’s actually all we have and that’s
the most valuable thing that we have is
time now these moments that we spend
here together we will never ever get
again these moments these precious
moments that we’re spending and watching
go before us we will never have again
and I knew that I was going to happen
I’ll try again if at first you don’t
succeed all right so the word think say
together T t for truth what is the truth
to you now the truth is really simple
because it’s only as big as you give it
permission to be now my truth was you’re
not skinny enough to be a dancer you’re
not good enough you’ll never make it and
that was my truth not anymore I’m here
I’m alive I’m doing very well thank you
very much what’s the truth to you what
is your truth at least make it sirs make
it a story that is suitable to who you
are who you were created to be h
how about it’s a great phrase so when
life throws stuff at you and you feel
that you can’t go on anymore or you’ve
hit a brick wall I suggest you use this
phrase
how about so okay maybe you can’t do
this and you can’t do that and you’ve
maybe you’ve broken down and your car is
got no petrol in it and you’ve got no
money even if there was a petrol station
nearby and it’s getting dark and your
phone has run out of mobile phones to go
out of battery then what how about I
walk to the end of the road where I can
see the light on and ask somebody for
help rather than feeling like you’re
trapped how about next letter I thank
you I I can it’s one of the most
powerful affirmations I can and even if
you’re afraid I can it’s something that
you can I know it’s an affirmation of
people go oh yeah yeah yeah I carry my
turn again but what if you can’t I
didn’t have a voice to say I can I
wasn’t able to speak but I thought and I
remember there were times were I’d be on
my face and not able to do anything but
I kept whispering I can the brain is an
amazing tool it will go off and find you
a way to do what you ask it to do have
you ever bought a new car and thought
I’ve got the most exclusive in your car
it’s amazing check me out and then the
minute you buy it you see them
everywhere right that’s your brain your
brain is amazing so give it a command
that’s useful to you next letter sorry
that’s the one n not anymore
not anymore
I was trodden on I was abused I couldn’t
walk I couldn’t speak not anymore
just because of where you just because
you are where you are at this moment it
doesn’t mean you have to stay there or
remain there or be there or that label
it has to stay with you the rest of your
life it doesn’t so when somebody wants
to speak down to you tell you you’re
nothing I’ll tell you’re never amount to
anything or say this or say that that
was me not anymore
next letter hi again I’m loving you I
just love that can I do that again next
letter whoa
I love that okay my favorite letter
catch up I know you’re expecting
something deep and missile mythological
or something but ketchup is a condiment
it is used to add to something to
enhance the taste or make it better
right
what’s fish and chips without ketchup
hmm right
what’s the ketchup in your life what do
you what when you add it to something
makes you feel better for some girls
it’s a new pair of shoes
right for a maybe a massage or maybe an
extra-long bath or maybe a holiday in
Barbados or maybe just hanging out with
your girlfriends and watching your
favorite movie but whatever adds to your
life and enhance is it and makes it
better do more of that so I’ve just
spent five minutes of time with you and
I’ve loved every moment thank you so
much for having me
I appreciate it I’ve been Kelly bye
[Applause]
welcome hi how are you all doing good
hasn’t it been an amazing start to the
afternoon firstly I want to congratulate
you all for coming out because being
here today is gonna change your life in
some way shape or form I can guarantee
you that don’t you feel like you’ve been
changed already just by hearing other
people’s stories and people sharing
amazing so I am Kelly Brian I was born
in plasto Hospital and my mum and dad
Marilyn and Terry they are second
generation immigrants from the Caribbean
yes that’s right don’t worry we can be a
little interactive it’s ok ok right and
and so when I was born in plasto in the
seventies you can imagine what it was
like right so racism was rise and you
know I’d go to school and get spat on I
was the only black kid in my class and
and it was what it was but what was
interesting about my upbringing is I had
a grandfather who had come over from the
Caribbean and basically he came with
nothing he was unable to read or to
write and he bought a house for five
thousand pounds and eventually once he
passed away that house was worth 750,000
pounds
props to you granddad but what granddad
taught me is that he could come here
with nothing and hand on so much right
so I was just so proud of him so proud
and when I was two and a half I know I
was taking part in the Junior Miss World
contest right I know and I don’t even
know I won the contest
thanks very much I’m not really sure
what I did to win I’ve asked my mum a
million times mommy what did I do she
said well you kind of just walked up and
down turned around and came back and had
a little sash on I’ve still got the sash
and that and the little swimming costume
that was wearing I know crazy so I’m and
I won but at that at that contest there
was a lady called Yvonne Deerman who
taught at local dance school
beat up two local dance schools so
basically she said came up at the end
and said your daughter’s got some talent
among the site
yeah I’m still trying to figure that out
and she said you know I teach at this
school called Italia Conti and it’s a
performing arts school in London and my
mum’s like yeah right I can imagine how
much that’s gonna cost but my mum was
one of those women that was determined
and she was a real fighter and so
through her determination we applied to
our local council that’s newer Council
and they gave us a scholarship and I
auditioned and I got into Italia Conti
amazing it felt amazing because all of
my peers and people around me were
getting pregnant having babies or in
jail at that time so I was like this is
good right so I’m at Italia Conti and
I’m rubbing shoulders with people that
I’ve seen on television you know people
from EastEnders and knowing me Campbell
I had her book I was like wow I kind of
touched it quite a lot that’s a bit
weird but anyway so I was able to be
exposed to different things a different
life in a different culture and I
thought wow this is amazing I’m here
this is great and that’s cool I met a
girl called Louise oh come on Louise
Redknapp that’s right so I met Louise
Redknapp at school and we were really
good powers and we used to hang out
anyway there is this time that we went
to a club
underage not that I condone that or
anything and when we were at the club
there was this guy and he came up to us
and he said my name is dangles Denis
Inglesby
here’s my card and he gave it to us and
I was like Oh Lew you know he’s trying
to pull you by he’s not really a record
producer long story is very short
he was a record producer and he called
and he said we called him and he said
I’m a record producer and I’m putting
together this group would you come down
and meet us and she did she went down
and she met Dennis and he was lovely and
then they needed another girl for the
band like my best friend she knows she
sings really well and she dances too
maybe you should meet her and so
eventually eternal was born thank you
for that
and so I’m in this band and I’m thinking
you know I’m 15 at the time I’m like you
know my school was like you need to stay
and finish this and do that and I’m like
yeah CoA I’m going but I didn’t actually
know what I was going to do so it just
seemed like a really good opportunity
and I was like yeah I’m gonna take that
and I thought hanging out with my really
good friends singing and dancing great
sounds like it takes all of the boxes
well it wasn’t as great as I thought it
was gonna be yeah I was traveling around
the world and I was meeting amazing
famous people and you know I met the
Pope and he was great and you know I met
Whitney Houston and she was amazing
and we’d be taking this jet-set
lifestyle you know private jets and this
and that and the other and it was
amazing but at the roots of it and my
heart I was being I wasn’t really
appreciated in that band in that band I
I kind of lost myself lost who I was
lost my identity I kind of felt like I
was there because as I’d overheard
someone say before oh she’s the pretty
one what does that mean what I have no
talent no skill no ability you know when
I was at school it’s Holly a concert
they used to say to me well you’re too
fat to be a ballet dancer you don’t sing
well enough but you’re okay acting and I
remember that kind of stuck with me you
know when a teacher tells you something
and they’re these teachers that have
this kind of I don’t know authority over
you you kind of take that on board and
it kind of took me right back to that
place of feeling like no one nothing and
no good and in the band I was really sad
a lot of the time so I was you know out
front I’d be smiling and you know katene
getting red carpet doing my best to hold
it together but inside was the same
little girl that was born in plaster
Hospital feeling trodden on stamped on
and not very good about myself
and so I was made it was in the papers
someone came to me and said oh it’s in
the papers today that you are a
millionaire now is 21 at the time and
I’m like what me they’re talking about
I’m a millionaire like ya and it’s not
something you really think about or you
kind of put a medal on your walls and
say look I’ve done this I’ve achieved
that because I was so sad inside the
outside I didn’t really make any
difference so yeah I had a nice car I
bought my mom a nice car I went on nice
holidays I had nice clothes and I lived
in a nice house but none has that meant
anything if inside you’re broken and
then one day I got a fax sent to my
house those days it was the 90s right so
excuse all those under 25s in the room
so I got fax into my house and the fax
said as of this day in 1999 you are no
I’m sorry 1998 you are no longer a
member of the band okay so I read this
fax and I’m like sorry I didn’t have a
back-up plan right I didn’t go to
university remember I was told you don’t
you can’t dance because you’re too fat
you can’t sing because you’re not that
good and I’m in this band kind of
feeling like okay well they sing better
than I do so I could just kind of maybe
go along here and do my best right and
and I’m told that I’m stacked I have no
backup plan and so from that day forward
I was literally I just hid myself
basically didn’t really want to see
anyone didn’t really want to talk to
anyone and it hurt a great deal because
it was a public sacking right there was
no hiding it’s in the papers everywhere
I went that’s it that’s what anybody
everybody wanted to talk to me about
everywhere I went that’s all that was on
people’s lips I had you got the SAP what
did you do did you do this did you do
that
so anyway you’d think that was bad
enough one morning I woke up and I
couldn’t bend my index finger this
finger and I was like this is really
strange but I thought you know I
probably just slept funny on my you know
you’re not kidding you when you put your
arm under your head and I thought maybe
I’ve just slept awkwardly and it’ll be
fine but that finger became a claw my
hand was permanently like this I thought
this is not right and I went to the
doctors and unfortunately GPS didn’t
understand what was wrong with me and
said why don’t you just go home and
paracetamol three times a day you’ll be
fine ever so this hand became a claw and
then I lost the ability to move my right
arm and then I started to develop ulcers
in my mouth on my arms down my legs and
the ulcers in my mouth were so many that
I then couldn’t eat properly if you
tried to eat with an ulcer
so my mouth was covered in ulcers and I
couldn’t really eat probably so I lost a
tremendous amount of weight and then I
get you know invited to things like you
know do you wanna come to this premiere
Kelly would you like to do this Rick I’m
like no right now I’m not in the place I
felt you know dirty contagious I didn’t
really want to be around anybody fare
less and walk on a red carpet
and those ulcers that were on my face
they were open Pasi wounds that just
kept losing and wouldn’t heal and that
was the same in my hair in my ears and
down my body eventually I was diagnosed
this is after a very long time and the
disease spiraling out of control
but eventually I was diagnosed with
systemic lupus erythematosus and I
remember the moment so vividly I was in
hospital and there were a row of doctors
in front of my bed and I’d been in
hospital for a while because they
there’s no one definitive test for lupus
and so they were all lined up at the end
of my bed and they said right Kelly
we’ve got your final diagnosis you are
diagnosed with systemic lupus
erythematosus over my head right it’s
systemic lupus erythematosus you won’t
be able to have children you’ll probably
end up in a wheelchair and there’s no
cure
no cure I’ve never heard of this disease
and you’re telling me there’s no cure
funny enough what I said was well great
cuz that’s gonna be somebody else’s
diagnosis cuz I’m getting on a plane and
I’m going to record my solo album and
the doctor looks at me again and said
Kelly I don’t think you’re taking in the
severity of this condition and I said
yes I understand the severity of this
condition however that’s not going to be
my story so from then on that day
forward I was determined to to drive
forward and move forward and the worst
of the disease was just last year when
my daughter Kaori came out from nursery
with a cold and gave me a kiss and when
she kissed me she had a common cold but
it was meningococcal so 48 hours later I
was taken into intensive care with
pneumonia what the doctors didn’t know
is that lupus had gone to my brain so I
lost the ability to speak to walk and to
function for myself and I’m saying this
today because not because I want you to
feel sorry for me or feel bad but it’s
to know that if I can overcome something
so can you that if just eight months ago
I was sitting in bed not able to
communicate my thoughts and my feelings
then you can overcome anything anyone
and any challenge that you face yes I’m
a fighter but I’m no different than you
my story is no different than yours yes
it may be different on a scale but it’s
no different in terms of your pain or
your journey or the challenges that you
have to face so I stand here not as a
martyr or somebody to be pitied but I
want to stand here as an inspiration
when I was told the title of the theme
of the TED talks today being think again
I was like yeah that’s right because I
want to challenge you and I’m not being
rude by disassociating myself from
whoever is to hear this but I want to
challenge you this is just me and you
talking me and you sharing I want that
when you leave this room that you’ll
take something with you
some little piece of my energy of my
giving to you today something that will
challenge you to think differently this
here is a sand timer it’s a sand timer
it’s an illustration of time because
that’s actually all we have and that’s
the most valuable thing that we have is
time now these moments that we spend
here together we will never ever get
again these moments these precious
moments that we’re spending and watching
go before us we will never have again
and I knew that I was going to happen
I’ll try again if at first you don’t
succeed all right so the word think say
together T t for truth what is the truth
to you now the truth is really simple
because it’s only as big as you give it
permission to be now my truth was you’re
not skinny enough to be a dancer you’re
not good enough you’ll never make it and
that was my truth not anymore I’m here
I’m alive I’m doing very well thank you
very much what’s the truth to you what
is your truth at least make it sirs make
it a story that is suitable to who you
are who you were created to be h
how about it’s a great phrase so when
life throws stuff at you and you feel
that you can’t go on anymore or you’ve
hit a brick wall I suggest you use this
phrase
how about so okay maybe you can’t do
this and you can’t do that and you’ve
maybe you’ve broken down and your car is
got no petrol in it and you’ve got no
money even if there was a petrol station
nearby and it’s getting dark and your
phone has run out of mobile phones to go
out of battery then what how about I
walk to the end of the road where I can
see the light on and ask somebody for
help rather than feeling like you’re
trapped how about next letter I thank
you I I can it’s one of the most
powerful affirmations I can and even if
you’re afraid I can it’s something that
you can I know it’s an affirmation of
people go oh yeah yeah yeah I carry my
turn again but what if you can’t I
didn’t have a voice to say I can I
wasn’t able to speak but I thought and I
remember there were times were I’d be on
my face and not able to do anything but
I kept whispering I can the brain is an
amazing tool it will go off and find you
a way to do what you ask it to do have
you ever bought a new car and thought
I’ve got the most exclusive in your car
it’s amazing check me out and then the
minute you buy it you see them
everywhere right that’s your brain your
brain is amazing so give it a command
that’s useful to you next letter sorry
that’s the one n not anymore
not anymore
I was trodden on I was abused I couldn’t
walk I couldn’t speak not anymore
just because of where you just because
you are where you are at this moment it
doesn’t mean you have to stay there or
remain there or be there or that label
it has to stay with you the rest of your
life it doesn’t so when somebody wants
to speak down to you tell you you’re
nothing I’ll tell you’re never amount to
anything or say this or say that that
was me not anymore
next letter hi again I’m loving you I
just love that can I do that again next
letter whoa
I love that okay my favorite letter
catch up I know you’re expecting
something deep and missile mythological
or something but ketchup is a condiment
it is used to add to something to
enhance the taste or make it better
right
what’s fish and chips without ketchup
hmm right
what’s the ketchup in your life what do
you what when you add it to something
makes you feel better for some girls
it’s a new pair of shoes
right for a maybe a massage or maybe an
extra-long bath or maybe a holiday in
Barbados or maybe just hanging out with
your girlfriends and watching your
favorite movie but whatever adds to your
life and enhance is it and makes it
better do more of that so I’ve just
spent five minutes of time with you and
I’ve loved every moment thank you so
much for having me
I appreciate it I’ve been Kelly bye
[Applause]
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