hello my name is Mark and I’m going to
talk about what human beings are capable
of with perseverance I do
larger-than-life comedy videos and
they’re really hard to pull off the
difference between me and a lot of
people is when most people think about
something they wonder about something I
actually do it I get obsessed can I pull
it off
can I really convinced IKEA to allow me
to live and sleep in one of their stores
for a week can i really bring a goat
into the Apple store in Manhattan the
answer to both is surprisingly yes doing
these videos has led me to ask for more
I tell myself all the time
what can I pull off I’ve learned that I
hate the word realistic I’ve learned to
think big I’ve learned to block out
negative people from my life I’ve
learned that if you always make
conservative safe choices you will
always get conservative safe results and
most importantly I have learned the
power of perseverance and that with
perseverance almost anything is possible
here are 10 things I learned from doing
my videos through perseverance number
one all Starbucks stores look the same I
know this because I went to a lot of
them for my video one-seven-one
Starbucks I wanted to see if it was
possible to go to every single Starbucks
store in Manhattan all 171 in less than
24 hours make a purchase and consume
something to do this I would have to go
to a store every 7 minutes for 23 hours
straight and there were people that said
mark this is impossible you’re not going
to be able to do this perseverance I got
a bicycle at Kmart scary New York City
traffic I drove a rat I rode around for
an entire month
visiting every location plant planning
out my route I was like planning for a
marathon and I did it I started it at
5:30 a.m. at 180 first and Broadway and
it
more than 23 hours later I ended at 256
a.m. but there were many complications
starting with the fact that I don’t
drink coffee hot July day at the time I
didn’t hot July day Sun lots of coffee
after 12 hours I couldn’t walk in a
straight line let alone ride a bike
anymore so I had to ditch my bicycle and
my friend Jill came in from Brooklyn
with a car and they kind of threw me in
the Romanian locations I was up for a
total of 27 straight hours and the next
day I was so out of it I went through
all the receipts I did not have a
hundred and seventy-one receipts I had a
hundred and seventy-six receipts that’s
what I realized I was so out of it I’d
gone to the same store twice on five
separate occasions next lesson
turbulence is like being in a boat in
the ocean that’s going over a wave
I know this because I limp and slept on
an airplane a commercial airplane
non-stop for a month to get over my fear
of flying now luckily this is not where
I slept during my month I just if you
live on a plane for a month commercial
airplane you find out things I was happy
I could contort myself there I had a
genuine fear of flying and the only way
I really thought mark this is how we’re
gonna get over your fear is to force
myself to fly over and over again
non-stop so I get the idea that I’m
gonna live on an airplane for a month I
write the treatment and I think to
myself I’m gonna do this with Richard
Branson and virgin they’re innovative I
write the treatment I put it away and
then a miracle
two months later another airline air
trend they approached me and they said
would you be interested living on our
airplane for a month so not only to have
the same idea have all the video
premises ready let’s do this thing they
take me to Atlanta this has never been
done in aviation history and dude living
on a plane like this FBI background
check tsa is involved pretty soon I’m
living on an airplane I’m a bundle of
nerves four to eight flights a day
initially customers get on and off I
stay there but then another America
every flight attendant the pilots they
all want to meet the guy living on the
plane and they talk me through my fear
mark all turbulence is is being in the
ocean and going over away it’s driving
over
gravel so again what happened from doing
this after a week and a half of this the
fear started to dissipate and I actually
got over my fear of line and one month I
flew 135 times and I unknowingly set a
Guinness world record and they put my
face on an airplane but there were
complications
through this perseverance it was
psychologically the hardest thing I ever
had to do there were very hard things
starting with the fact that I couldn’t
shower for a month I had to clean myself
with baby wipes and I had to go to the
bathroom that you guys all use the very
small bathroom and wash my hair every
other day other complications were
sleeping I would Selena sleep alone on
the plane at night and the cleaning crew
would vacuum around me as I slept with
my three hours blood clot everyone moron
made blood cots mark you have to be
careful flying so when people would get
off the plane I would jog up and down
for exercise and the entire month I did
not go into public once I did not go
into an airport one time complicating
things even further I am married so my
wife Christine had to fly with me on the
weekends to see me we actually had our
anniversary dinner on the wing of a
plane in Atlanta thankfully the plane
was not moving at the time next lesson
New Yorkers are nice I wanted to
disprove the myth the New Yorkers are
rude how do I do this by having people
carry me I wanted to see how far north
they can transport my to transport
myself only by having people carry me in
19 hours I was carrying 9.4 miles by a
hundred and fifty five people and it was
the coldest day of the year yes my body
was in pain I was contorted every way
you can imagine men were carrying me
women old senior citizens the teenagers
me musical theater students was singing
the Lady Gaga and it ended up with me
getting carried under the set of
Anderson Cooper live next lesson New
York City buses are slow I know this
because I raced a New York City bus
while riding a child’s big wheel yes it
was big wheel versus bus who’s gonna win
right it was a one-mile race on 42nd
Street between 10th Avenue and
Madison and the bus actually had a 10%
chance of beating me I did the research
and I don’t know if you can tell but the
pedals my legs we’re in massive massive
pain I had adrenaline because of the bus
because I didn’t with the bus to beat me
and I ended up winning by one minute
take that MTA next lesson the lights and
IKEA go on at 5:00 a.m. every morning I
know this because I lived and slept in
IKEA for an entire week how does one get
to live in IKEA
the answer is ask ask again perseverance
persistent polite persistent two months
after this they said ok ok we’ll meet
with you and after the meeting during
the meeting actually they said mark
there’s something about you we trust you
I was so excited for the video content
but it was crazy because after two days
it was national news three days
international news people are driving
hours to meet the guy who’s living in a
store I’d wake up from a nap and three
people would be staring at me like I was
an animal in a zoo rollerblading with
security guards at 3 in the morning and
yes after a wig I still cannot assemble
IKEA furniture next lesson crumbs
cupcakes kill six-pack ABS in five days
I know this because I got a six-pack in
28 days and killed it in five days I
wanted to see what somebody would have
to do to persevere enough to get six
pack abs in 30 days because all those
men’s magazines say get six-pack ABS in
30 days what would the price be so I got
a personal trainer Robert brace me said
mark I can get you six-pack abs but at a
price
the first thing is you’re gonna have to
workout with me every day I said that’s
easy done mark the second thing you’re
not gonna like you’re gonna have to eat
330 hard-boiled egg whites in a month 11
a day that was not fun but I did it and
it was so disciplined I did it in 28
days I guarantee you I do not look like
that anymore
but it was so disciplined at night I
would dream about food I would fantasize
about food one night I was dreaming
about cookies and I was so disciplined
even in my dream I Spit the cookie out
next less than Apple Store will let
their customers do practically anything
I know that because I successfully
brought a goat into the Apple Store this
is Nala the goat isn’t Nala adorable
Oh anomalous great this was the Upper
West Side of Manhattan store um I had
heard that people had done crazy things
in Apple stores it never been documented
on video and I wanted to set out and see
how far I could go this is me ordering a
pizza to the second floor of the Soho
Apple store the Apple store employees
were totally cool with that this is me
having a date with my lovely wife
Christine at the Fifth Avenue store with
music with a disco ball we had food
served to us I asked them if they could
turn the lights down that was the only
thing they said no to but we had our
date and this is me getting my iphone
repaired well dressed as Darth Vader all
of the employees flocked to me and I
thought I was going to be in trouble but
no they all wanted a photo with Darth
Vader next lesson you do not have to do
anything noteworthy or heroic for us
mayor’s to present you the key to the
city I know this because in one month of
traveling the country has presented 95
keys by u.s. mayors I’m talking big
places I got the Tampa Florida key to
the city
Milwaukee Tom Barrett I got the key to
the city of Baltimore big places little
places and Hampton Virginia this was the
first time they ever gave the key to the
city
ask ask ask persevere and some mornings
I would wake up and I would have
absolutely no keys lined up so at cold
call city halls and uh this is 10:30 at
night in this home because the City Hall
was closed this is Mayor rands ron
sandack next lesson it’s possible to
watch a movie for 3.2 cents I know that
because I took advantage of my Netflix
subscription more than anybody in
history for streaming in one month I
watched two hundred and fifty two films
which works out to four hundred and four
point two five hours which is three
point two cents you think that this
would be fun initially and it was for a
day or two and then it became very very
hard for me to keep going but then
Andrew McCarthy did commented and said I
almost fire for me which was good one
time and Netflix found out about it they
started tweeting me and they flew me out
to Los Gatos we’re the headquarters I
get to meet Reed Hastings the CEO of
Netflix and they made it mark Malkoff
day and that flex next lesson you do not
need a place to stay in LA it is not
necessary to spend thousands of dollars
on hotels I know this because when I
went to LA instead of hotels
ask famous people can I sleep over at
your home this is Dave Coulier from full
house in fuller house uncle Joey I did
not know him this is the first time I’d
ever met him I use Facebook I used
Twitter I wrote letters I’d email if I
couldn’t I said can I sleep over your
home celebrities are used to asking you
know kind of a selfie with you an
autograph transept can I sleep over so
this is I slept in Dave coulier’s SUV I
thought that would be fun but I did
actually get to have breakfast with him
and I got to hang out with people Kate
Walsh and I had a celebrity nap I would
take naps with celebrities during the
day as well
puffy from bridesmaids who did the
Melissa McCarthy movies a lot of them
and you just never know what people look
that’s Cameron Manheim’s ma so the power
of asking is an incredible thing and I
will just end by saying with
perseverance and asking for ridiculous
things amazing miraculous things can
happen thank you so much [Applause]