I want you to imagine a time where he
felt an overwhelming sense of belonging
a time where you felt you were part of
something bigger than yourself
or a part of a community now imagine
that place imagine what it felt like
what if you could feel that way every
day and what if we could give that
feeling away to someone else that
feeling and that joy is exactly how I
felt when this picture was taken this
picture was taken on what was called
exhibition day it was also known as our
school’s favorite day or the best day of
the year it was an annual celebration
the sort of outward expression of who we
were as a school not only as individuals
but also as a community in this picture
I have glitter on my face I’m wearing a
t-shirt I created and was proud of and
I’m dancing just because I was so happy
to be there in that moment all around me
people were showcasing their artwork
their photography their musical or
dramatic performances people were
selling food and clothing they created
and just like me in this picture
everywhere you looked people were happy
there’s a very festive day and the most
beautiful part about the day for me was
every year I was able to look back at my
school as as this mosaic as a work of
art as a chaotic collaboration of so
many different personalities all coming
together to celebrate one another and it
was at that moment that I realized that
in just a few weeks I was going to
graduate high school and it was at that
moment that I decided I wanted the rest
of the world to feel the way I did right
then one thing that was really special
about my school was that the majority of
the students there knew they belonged in
fact this was proven by a district-wide
survey in 2015 were 72% of students said
they felt they were a part of their
school they knew it was a place to be
who they were in sylphid and in fact
even as a freshman I very much felt that
I was a part of my school and I could
see that so many other people felt the
same way there was a culture created
there that valued individuality and
elevated our differences and the
relationships between them for example
the leadership class or the associate
student body ASB class I was a part of
was full of kids who were mostly not
your stereotypical ASB leader type ie
outgoing big energy and pumped up about
school dances and pep rallies but they
were all equally instrumental in
creating events for our school we had
students who were shy but were very
talented at graphic design or filmmaking
students who didn’t like to attend
dances but liked to work behind the
scenes in peace the logistics of it
together to present something to her
school we had students who came from art
classes who wanted to do something to
celebrate our arts and athletes who
thought of new ways to incorporate
athletics into assemblies and it wasn’t
just our ASB class but our entire school
beyond that was a hive of diversity and
it fostered a community of different
talents and passions and varied pathways
to success
each celebrated equally but there was a
key transformative moment for me near
the end of my time in high school where
I began to realize that this community I
enjoyed so much actually had a much more
profound impact in the lives of some of
my peers than I ever realized and I want
to share that with you today
because what it taught me was how badly
we need a strong sense of belonging and
it taught me this idea that by creating
a community where people know they
belong and know that they have a place
and a purpose that we could shift the
culture of our environments out of
schools or workplaces or whatever it
might be
and make it a better safer place I spent
the last two years at my high school as
a peer counselor which was kind of like
a counselor except we were peers and
instead of eight years of school we went
through 20 hours of basic training on
how to handle situation where someone
who’s either suicidal or in another
harmful situation other mental or
physical and we also learned how to
start a conversation with someone who
really didn’t want to talk to us they
and one day I met a girl in the office
who came in telling me that her friend
group started to ignore her and be mean
to her and I met with her for three
months and during this time her
situation got progressively worse her
friends started to exclude her even more
they bullied her they even ditched her
on her own birthday at lunch and one day
she came into my office sobbing she told
me she couldn’t do this anymore
that she was over him and asked her what
do you mean she told me that the night
before she seriously considered taking
her own life and no matter how badly
these girls treated her she told me she
couldn’t leave them because otherwise
she would be completely alone which is
one of her biggest fears in highschool
but even in this group she told me she
didn’t feel valued she didn’t feel
acknowledged and intentionally or not
they made her feel that her struggles
and the things that she went through at
home weren’t worth anything and even
though she had people in her life she
told she told me she still felt alone
and the only ‘no sakam in’ but as
sometimes deadly thing for young people
these last couple of years have taught
me so much about our world from meeting
with people who faced certain struggles
or who work with people who do focusing
specifically on human trafficking dating
violence and suicide I began to learn
how badly we need community and the
introverts in the room are included I
have talked to sex trafficking survivors
I’ve watched girls go through eating
disorders and recover I’ve had a close
friend try to take her own life I’ve
seen multiple people go through severe
depression cutting suicidal thoughts and
find healing and it was not because they
decided to sit in a room alone and pray
about it or take pills I believe in
prayer and I believe in pills but maybe
we are the answer to those prayers
because everyone I’ve met who’s found
hope and found happiness found people
they found peers and mentors and
teachers who genuinely loved them who
included them here
reminded them everyday that they belong
here and that healing is possible jamie
Schakowsky is the founder of a founder
of an organization that raises money for
mental health treatment all across the
country and one of the quotes he’s most
known for is this he said you’ll need
coffee shops sunsets and road trips
airplanes and passports new songs and
old ones people more than anything else
you will need other people and you will
need to be that other person for someone
else to be a living breathing screaming
invitation to believe better things we
need people community is how we heal the
girl I met with after she told me she
was suicidal after she opened up to me
we talked about it for a while but then
we went to her professional counselor
together we called her dad and he got
her the help that she needed but after
that two weeks passed before I called
her back into my office to check on her
and make sure she was okay and for the
first time I saw her genuinely happy
which made me happy but it also caught
me a little bit off guard so I asked her
about her week asked her what was
different she told me she wasn’t hanging
out with her old friend group she wasn’t
ignoring them or being mean to them but
she wasn’t making a conscious effort
sustained group she knew probably wasn’t
healthy for her instead she was getting
more plugged in to her school drama
class and making friends in there and
she told me exactly like this sitting on
the couch facing me on the marketing
director now and she also said she
couldn’t talk for long because she had
to run back to class and paint birds on
a poster or something and the point is
she was finally happy and the most
notable difference in her life was it
now she’d a place where she knew she
belonged with friends who loved her who
included her people she could talk to
you about her life and the struggles
that came with it not just people that
pretended she didn’t exist and this girl
isn’t alone
hearing this girl’s story after she was
recovering was one of a handful of
transformative moments that for me that
occurred
the pure counts in office moments where
I went from loving my school and wanting
everything to do with it to truly
understanding the power of belonging to
a community that values you that listens
to you and that gives you a place and a
purpose and before I walk off this
little red circle today I want to tell
you something I loved about my school in
its DNA it was a place where people were
constantly saying to one another join a
club join a team create something create
yourself create this school with us
because you’re here for a reason and you
have something valuable to add to the
table and the reason I’m telling you
this is because this type of community
the one that I found in my high school
the one that this girl found in her
drama class the inclusivity of this sort
of environment is life-changing but I
also want you to notice that this
community it’s not a body it’s not a
body with hands and feet and a head and
every piece has a specific purpose but
rather it’s a mosaic with all these
shaped pieces with different colors and
talents and dreams and ambitions and
sometimes that may involve skipping
classes to go surfing not me
and when all these pieces come together
we can look back at it and say look at
this look at our school look at what we
created together because it’s beautiful
and I want you to see it and I want you
to see every piece on its own is unique
and beautiful in its own way but look
how this piece complements this one and
all these to fit perfectly together in
this way over here and although they’re
all so different they all belong here
and you belong here too you belong you
too going back to that graph I showed
you earlier 72% of kids at my school
felt that they were a part of it but
even though 72 is a big number so is 28
so is the other 28% because that means
that in 2015 over 500 kids came to my
school and for them it wasn’t a
place where they belonged and I believe
some of the people in your life feel the
same way some of your classmates some of
your co-workers or some of your peers
feel alone and they need someone to
invite them to lunch for someone to hear
their story hear about their passions
listen to their ideas and learn about
what makes them different and just
imagine with me imagine with me a place
where eccentricity is encouraged where
struggles are acknowledged and people
are supported imagine a place where
people are celebrated for their
differences and brought into the fold to
collaborate and create something
beautiful these places and these circles
do exist but there are people in your
life who simply need to be invited in so
invite them in and let’s make the world
a more beautiful and a more colorful mosaic together
felt an overwhelming sense of belonging
a time where you felt you were part of
something bigger than yourself
or a part of a community now imagine
that place imagine what it felt like
what if you could feel that way every
day and what if we could give that
feeling away to someone else that
feeling and that joy is exactly how I
felt when this picture was taken this
picture was taken on what was called
exhibition day it was also known as our
school’s favorite day or the best day of
the year it was an annual celebration
the sort of outward expression of who we
were as a school not only as individuals
but also as a community in this picture
I have glitter on my face I’m wearing a
t-shirt I created and was proud of and
I’m dancing just because I was so happy
to be there in that moment all around me
people were showcasing their artwork
their photography their musical or
dramatic performances people were
selling food and clothing they created
and just like me in this picture
everywhere you looked people were happy
there’s a very festive day and the most
beautiful part about the day for me was
every year I was able to look back at my
school as as this mosaic as a work of
art as a chaotic collaboration of so
many different personalities all coming
together to celebrate one another and it
was at that moment that I realized that
in just a few weeks I was going to
graduate high school and it was at that
moment that I decided I wanted the rest
of the world to feel the way I did right
then one thing that was really special
about my school was that the majority of
the students there knew they belonged in
fact this was proven by a district-wide
survey in 2015 were 72% of students said
they felt they were a part of their
school they knew it was a place to be
who they were in sylphid and in fact
even as a freshman I very much felt that
I was a part of my school and I could
see that so many other people felt the
same way there was a culture created
there that valued individuality and
elevated our differences and the
relationships between them for example
the leadership class or the associate
student body ASB class I was a part of
was full of kids who were mostly not
your stereotypical ASB leader type ie
outgoing big energy and pumped up about
school dances and pep rallies but they
were all equally instrumental in
creating events for our school we had
students who were shy but were very
talented at graphic design or filmmaking
students who didn’t like to attend
dances but liked to work behind the
scenes in peace the logistics of it
together to present something to her
school we had students who came from art
classes who wanted to do something to
celebrate our arts and athletes who
thought of new ways to incorporate
athletics into assemblies and it wasn’t
just our ASB class but our entire school
beyond that was a hive of diversity and
it fostered a community of different
talents and passions and varied pathways
to success
each celebrated equally but there was a
key transformative moment for me near
the end of my time in high school where
I began to realize that this community I
enjoyed so much actually had a much more
profound impact in the lives of some of
my peers than I ever realized and I want
to share that with you today
because what it taught me was how badly
we need a strong sense of belonging and
it taught me this idea that by creating
a community where people know they
belong and know that they have a place
and a purpose that we could shift the
culture of our environments out of
schools or workplaces or whatever it
might be
and make it a better safer place I spent
the last two years at my high school as
a peer counselor which was kind of like
a counselor except we were peers and
instead of eight years of school we went
through 20 hours of basic training on
how to handle situation where someone
who’s either suicidal or in another
harmful situation other mental or
physical and we also learned how to
start a conversation with someone who
really didn’t want to talk to us they
and one day I met a girl in the office
who came in telling me that her friend
group started to ignore her and be mean
to her and I met with her for three
months and during this time her
situation got progressively worse her
friends started to exclude her even more
they bullied her they even ditched her
on her own birthday at lunch and one day
she came into my office sobbing she told
me she couldn’t do this anymore
that she was over him and asked her what
do you mean she told me that the night
before she seriously considered taking
her own life and no matter how badly
these girls treated her she told me she
couldn’t leave them because otherwise
she would be completely alone which is
one of her biggest fears in highschool
but even in this group she told me she
didn’t feel valued she didn’t feel
acknowledged and intentionally or not
they made her feel that her struggles
and the things that she went through at
home weren’t worth anything and even
though she had people in her life she
told she told me she still felt alone
and the only ‘no sakam in’ but as
sometimes deadly thing for young people
these last couple of years have taught
me so much about our world from meeting
with people who faced certain struggles
or who work with people who do focusing
specifically on human trafficking dating
violence and suicide I began to learn
how badly we need community and the
introverts in the room are included I
have talked to sex trafficking survivors
I’ve watched girls go through eating
disorders and recover I’ve had a close
friend try to take her own life I’ve
seen multiple people go through severe
depression cutting suicidal thoughts and
find healing and it was not because they
decided to sit in a room alone and pray
about it or take pills I believe in
prayer and I believe in pills but maybe
we are the answer to those prayers
because everyone I’ve met who’s found
hope and found happiness found people
they found peers and mentors and
teachers who genuinely loved them who
included them here
reminded them everyday that they belong
here and that healing is possible jamie
Schakowsky is the founder of a founder
of an organization that raises money for
mental health treatment all across the
country and one of the quotes he’s most
known for is this he said you’ll need
coffee shops sunsets and road trips
airplanes and passports new songs and
old ones people more than anything else
you will need other people and you will
need to be that other person for someone
else to be a living breathing screaming
invitation to believe better things we
need people community is how we heal the
girl I met with after she told me she
was suicidal after she opened up to me
we talked about it for a while but then
we went to her professional counselor
together we called her dad and he got
her the help that she needed but after
that two weeks passed before I called
her back into my office to check on her
and make sure she was okay and for the
first time I saw her genuinely happy
which made me happy but it also caught
me a little bit off guard so I asked her
about her week asked her what was
different she told me she wasn’t hanging
out with her old friend group she wasn’t
ignoring them or being mean to them but
she wasn’t making a conscious effort
sustained group she knew probably wasn’t
healthy for her instead she was getting
more plugged in to her school drama
class and making friends in there and
she told me exactly like this sitting on
the couch facing me on the marketing
director now and she also said she
couldn’t talk for long because she had
to run back to class and paint birds on
a poster or something and the point is
she was finally happy and the most
notable difference in her life was it
now she’d a place where she knew she
belonged with friends who loved her who
included her people she could talk to
you about her life and the struggles
that came with it not just people that
pretended she didn’t exist and this girl
isn’t alone
hearing this girl’s story after she was
recovering was one of a handful of
transformative moments that for me that
occurred
the pure counts in office moments where
I went from loving my school and wanting
everything to do with it to truly
understanding the power of belonging to
a community that values you that listens
to you and that gives you a place and a
purpose and before I walk off this
little red circle today I want to tell
you something I loved about my school in
its DNA it was a place where people were
constantly saying to one another join a
club join a team create something create
yourself create this school with us
because you’re here for a reason and you
have something valuable to add to the
table and the reason I’m telling you
this is because this type of community
the one that I found in my high school
the one that this girl found in her
drama class the inclusivity of this sort
of environment is life-changing but I
also want you to notice that this
community it’s not a body it’s not a
body with hands and feet and a head and
every piece has a specific purpose but
rather it’s a mosaic with all these
shaped pieces with different colors and
talents and dreams and ambitions and
sometimes that may involve skipping
classes to go surfing not me
and when all these pieces come together
we can look back at it and say look at
this look at our school look at what we
created together because it’s beautiful
and I want you to see it and I want you
to see every piece on its own is unique
and beautiful in its own way but look
how this piece complements this one and
all these to fit perfectly together in
this way over here and although they’re
all so different they all belong here
and you belong here too you belong you
too going back to that graph I showed
you earlier 72% of kids at my school
felt that they were a part of it but
even though 72 is a big number so is 28
so is the other 28% because that means
that in 2015 over 500 kids came to my
school and for them it wasn’t a
place where they belonged and I believe
some of the people in your life feel the
same way some of your classmates some of
your co-workers or some of your peers
feel alone and they need someone to
invite them to lunch for someone to hear
their story hear about their passions
listen to their ideas and learn about
what makes them different and just
imagine with me imagine with me a place
where eccentricity is encouraged where
struggles are acknowledged and people
are supported imagine a place where
people are celebrated for their
differences and brought into the fold to
collaborate and create something
beautiful these places and these circles
do exist but there are people in your
life who simply need to be invited in so
invite them in and let’s make the world
a more beautiful and a more colorful mosaic together
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