if you see something say something well
I’ve been seeing these signs around the
Washington area for the past couple of
years I see them in the train station I
see them on the sides of buses I even
saw one in a restroom though I’m not
sure what I was supposed to be on the
lookout for at that moment I’ve also
seen just a massive amount of media
coverage about racial strife in America
and these two things coming together
these signs with this media coverage has
gotten me thinking long and deep about a
racially charged situation that I was
involved with around 20 years ago here
in Washington where I was the something
that someone said something about so I
want to tell you just a tiny bit about
me so I grew up in New York and in 1987
I came to Washington right after college
and I’ve been in the communications
profession my whole career so I’ve
worked on Capitol Hill I’ve worked in
the White House and for the past 16
years I’ve worked at the Carlyle Group
as Dave just said and I’m also a
champion Whistler and I’ll tell you more
why that’s relevant in just a moment so
after being in Washington for a couple
years I was in my mid to late 20s at
that point I realized that if you are a
low-income inner-city kid in Washington
the education system just doesn’t serve
you very well so I decided to see if I
could make a tiny bit of a difference so
I joined this tutoring and mentoring
program called vision ministries which
was based in Anacostia which is just
across the river from here and I got
matched up with this totally awesome
seven-year-old boy named Monta and Monta
was just filled with potential and he
was witty and charming and bright and it
is loved to spend time with him so for
five years pretty much every Tuesday
during the school year I’d go from my
house on Capitol Hill and I Drive to
Anacostia and we would meet so one time
when Monta was around ten years old he
said hey can you take me to McDonald’s
for for dinner because I haven’t eaten
and I said sure
so we go to McDonald’s and so there’s
the 10 year old african-american kid and
me that at that point 30-something in a
white businessman hang
in the McDonald’s and I’m the only white
person in the restaurant at that time
and I were just chatting hanging out and
suddenly I sensed something and I look
up and there is a middle-aged
african-american woman just standing
right over us just hovering over at the
table just staring at me clearly
concerned when I look at her and she
looks at me and she says what’s up with
you and the boy well a thousand thoughts
raced through my brain at that moment I
said well what am I supposed to do who
is she
the thing I’m a kidnapper or a pervert
or something like that
should I tell her to take a hike is she
a racist she had a problem with white
people
am ia racist for thinking she might be a
racist or had she seen a sign that says
if you see something say something while
I pondered I pondered deep in heart of
what should I do you know what should I
do in that situation and this whole
concept of pondering deep and hard about
you know what should I do has been on my
mind a lot and I bet it’s been on your
minds a lot in recent years when I saw
Tamir rice shot by police in a Cleveland
Park I said well what should I do when I
see churchgoers in Charleston gunned
down by a psychopath I say what should I
do when I see police assassinated while
sitting in their cars in New York City I
say what should I do when I see
professional sports players taking a
knee during the national anthem over
serious issues of racism I say what
should i do what should I do
I said I think the answer is actually in
the McDonald’s so there she is she’s
hovering over me and says what’s up with
you and the boy now and I know what I
wanted to say I wanted to say take a
hike lady I have a right to be here but
I didn’t what I did is I stood up I
handed my hand to her and I said hi I’m
Kris Holman and this is monta and we’re
in this Christian ministry together and
we’re just getting a burger after
hanging out doing our tutoring and like
Saul on the road to Damascus the scales
fall from her eyes and she says wow we
need more people like you helping out
kids in our cumin
and we chatted for a moment and just as
soon as she had arrived she departed and
I go to Monta and I say well that was
interesting and Monta says not a lot of
white people in this part of town out of
the bay out of the mouths of babes come
such truths so so I’ve pondered for
years why did that go well it could have
been a disaster it could have been
exhausted but it went well so I’m a PR
guy and I tend to think in groups of
three so I came up with love benefited
the doubt and de-escalation so we could
take a quick look at each of these
things love well I was in that
restaurant in the first place because I
loved Monta I wanted him to succeed I
wanted him to be able to use all of the
the talents God had given him to the
greatest and my faith teaches me that I
need to love my neighbor as myself it’s
in the Gospel of Mark and the great
civil rights leader Martin Luther King
said many things about love one that
really stands out for me is when he said
that love is the only force that can
transform an enemy into a friend so love
is the foundation and only good things
can come from love such as benefited the
doubt if you love someone truly love
them even if you don’t know them you
will give them the benefit of the doubt
and I had no idea who this woman was why
would I think the worst I’d wanted to
give her the benefit of the doubt and it
finally de-escalation when I was growing
up my mother had a plaque on the kitchen
wall that said Great Spirit grant that I
might not judge my neighbor until I’ve
walked a mile in his moccasins and that
message of empathy has really seeped
into my soul over the years and has
taught me the power of offering someone
a hand rather than giving them the
finger so love benefit of the doubt and
de-escalation now I get it I’m a white
man now it’s probably easier for me to
love someone or give them the benefit of
the doubt in a tense kind of racial
situation I understand that
however Christ’s message and King’s
message are universal they are
colorblind
it’s
all of us should behave even if it’s
difficult so I mentioned earlier that
I’m a Whistler and I have been able to
take this very simple gift and share it
with people which brings people joy
brings me a lot of joy and as Dave noted
I was here in 2013 and got to share my
whistle with folks and the point of that
talk was that everyone has a simple gift
a very simple gift mine happens to be
whistling but each of you has a simple
gift as well and the key is to find out
what your gift is develop it share it
and try to share it with people one
person at a time to try to make the
world a better place and the key is one
person at a time I think we have a real
hero centric culture we’re waiting for
the heroes to save the world and folks
let me tell you there aren’t enough
heroes to save the world we need to do
it so it’s very much an empowerment
message about what we as individuals are
capable of doing if we set our minds to
it and I think that concept can help us
when it comes to healing race relations
in America now if this is on your mind
you’re trying to figure out what you can
do well there are many roles that people
can play we need the leaders we need
people to organize rallies to call out
injustice when they see it and hatred
and racism we need people to write
letters to the editor and speak out in
street corners all those things are
important they are critical however most
people aren’t going to do any of those
things so then the question becomes
again what should I do
well I think the answer once again is
found in the McDonald’s is to simply
love people think about it every day
each of us encounters dozens perhaps
scores of people from the moment we wake
up to the moment we go to bed literally
scores of people what if we proactively
decided today that we are going to love
those people we’re gonna love the people
we know we’re gonna love the people we
don’t know we’re gonna love the people
that are maybe make us uncomfortable or
maybe in a sticky situation if it’s a
racial nature for example and the
cumulative effect of people proactively
loving the people they encounter
even when it’s hard will make a
measurable meaningful impact over time
so the next time you see a sign that
says if you see something say something
think about it differently think of it
said if you see someone do something
simply love them thank you very much
thank
I’ve been seeing these signs around the
Washington area for the past couple of
years I see them in the train station I
see them on the sides of buses I even
saw one in a restroom though I’m not
sure what I was supposed to be on the
lookout for at that moment I’ve also
seen just a massive amount of media
coverage about racial strife in America
and these two things coming together
these signs with this media coverage has
gotten me thinking long and deep about a
racially charged situation that I was
involved with around 20 years ago here
in Washington where I was the something
that someone said something about so I
want to tell you just a tiny bit about
me so I grew up in New York and in 1987
I came to Washington right after college
and I’ve been in the communications
profession my whole career so I’ve
worked on Capitol Hill I’ve worked in
the White House and for the past 16
years I’ve worked at the Carlyle Group
as Dave just said and I’m also a
champion Whistler and I’ll tell you more
why that’s relevant in just a moment so
after being in Washington for a couple
years I was in my mid to late 20s at
that point I realized that if you are a
low-income inner-city kid in Washington
the education system just doesn’t serve
you very well so I decided to see if I
could make a tiny bit of a difference so
I joined this tutoring and mentoring
program called vision ministries which
was based in Anacostia which is just
across the river from here and I got
matched up with this totally awesome
seven-year-old boy named Monta and Monta
was just filled with potential and he
was witty and charming and bright and it
is loved to spend time with him so for
five years pretty much every Tuesday
during the school year I’d go from my
house on Capitol Hill and I Drive to
Anacostia and we would meet so one time
when Monta was around ten years old he
said hey can you take me to McDonald’s
for for dinner because I haven’t eaten
and I said sure
so we go to McDonald’s and so there’s
the 10 year old african-american kid and
me that at that point 30-something in a
white businessman hang
in the McDonald’s and I’m the only white
person in the restaurant at that time
and I were just chatting hanging out and
suddenly I sensed something and I look
up and there is a middle-aged
african-american woman just standing
right over us just hovering over at the
table just staring at me clearly
concerned when I look at her and she
looks at me and she says what’s up with
you and the boy well a thousand thoughts
raced through my brain at that moment I
said well what am I supposed to do who
is she
the thing I’m a kidnapper or a pervert
or something like that
should I tell her to take a hike is she
a racist she had a problem with white
people
am ia racist for thinking she might be a
racist or had she seen a sign that says
if you see something say something while
I pondered I pondered deep in heart of
what should I do you know what should I
do in that situation and this whole
concept of pondering deep and hard about
you know what should I do has been on my
mind a lot and I bet it’s been on your
minds a lot in recent years when I saw
Tamir rice shot by police in a Cleveland
Park I said well what should I do when I
see churchgoers in Charleston gunned
down by a psychopath I say what should I
do when I see police assassinated while
sitting in their cars in New York City I
say what should I do when I see
professional sports players taking a
knee during the national anthem over
serious issues of racism I say what
should i do what should I do
I said I think the answer is actually in
the McDonald’s so there she is she’s
hovering over me and says what’s up with
you and the boy now and I know what I
wanted to say I wanted to say take a
hike lady I have a right to be here but
I didn’t what I did is I stood up I
handed my hand to her and I said hi I’m
Kris Holman and this is monta and we’re
in this Christian ministry together and
we’re just getting a burger after
hanging out doing our tutoring and like
Saul on the road to Damascus the scales
fall from her eyes and she says wow we
need more people like you helping out
kids in our cumin
and we chatted for a moment and just as
soon as she had arrived she departed and
I go to Monta and I say well that was
interesting and Monta says not a lot of
white people in this part of town out of
the bay out of the mouths of babes come
such truths so so I’ve pondered for
years why did that go well it could have
been a disaster it could have been
exhausted but it went well so I’m a PR
guy and I tend to think in groups of
three so I came up with love benefited
the doubt and de-escalation so we could
take a quick look at each of these
things love well I was in that
restaurant in the first place because I
loved Monta I wanted him to succeed I
wanted him to be able to use all of the
the talents God had given him to the
greatest and my faith teaches me that I
need to love my neighbor as myself it’s
in the Gospel of Mark and the great
civil rights leader Martin Luther King
said many things about love one that
really stands out for me is when he said
that love is the only force that can
transform an enemy into a friend so love
is the foundation and only good things
can come from love such as benefited the
doubt if you love someone truly love
them even if you don’t know them you
will give them the benefit of the doubt
and I had no idea who this woman was why
would I think the worst I’d wanted to
give her the benefit of the doubt and it
finally de-escalation when I was growing
up my mother had a plaque on the kitchen
wall that said Great Spirit grant that I
might not judge my neighbor until I’ve
walked a mile in his moccasins and that
message of empathy has really seeped
into my soul over the years and has
taught me the power of offering someone
a hand rather than giving them the
finger so love benefit of the doubt and
de-escalation now I get it I’m a white
man now it’s probably easier for me to
love someone or give them the benefit of
the doubt in a tense kind of racial
situation I understand that
however Christ’s message and King’s
message are universal they are
colorblind
it’s
all of us should behave even if it’s
difficult so I mentioned earlier that
I’m a Whistler and I have been able to
take this very simple gift and share it
with people which brings people joy
brings me a lot of joy and as Dave noted
I was here in 2013 and got to share my
whistle with folks and the point of that
talk was that everyone has a simple gift
a very simple gift mine happens to be
whistling but each of you has a simple
gift as well and the key is to find out
what your gift is develop it share it
and try to share it with people one
person at a time to try to make the
world a better place and the key is one
person at a time I think we have a real
hero centric culture we’re waiting for
the heroes to save the world and folks
let me tell you there aren’t enough
heroes to save the world we need to do
it so it’s very much an empowerment
message about what we as individuals are
capable of doing if we set our minds to
it and I think that concept can help us
when it comes to healing race relations
in America now if this is on your mind
you’re trying to figure out what you can
do well there are many roles that people
can play we need the leaders we need
people to organize rallies to call out
injustice when they see it and hatred
and racism we need people to write
letters to the editor and speak out in
street corners all those things are
important they are critical however most
people aren’t going to do any of those
things so then the question becomes
again what should I do
well I think the answer once again is
found in the McDonald’s is to simply
love people think about it every day
each of us encounters dozens perhaps
scores of people from the moment we wake
up to the moment we go to bed literally
scores of people what if we proactively
decided today that we are going to love
those people we’re gonna love the people
we know we’re gonna love the people we
don’t know we’re gonna love the people
that are maybe make us uncomfortable or
maybe in a sticky situation if it’s a
racial nature for example and the
cumulative effect of people proactively
loving the people they encounter
even when it’s hard will make a
measurable meaningful impact over time
so the next time you see a sign that
says if you see something say something
think about it differently think of it
said if you see someone do something
simply love them thank you very much
thank
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