I have a confession I’m not normal
and if you think you’re off the hook you
actually the whole way we think about
normal and not normal a mess I first
encountered this one night with a group
of other medical students when a friend
of mine says did you all know that there
are people who can literally see music
and color like they see colors and
shapes whenever they hear sounds it’s so
weird it’s like their brain is tripping
on acid all the time and I’m like well
that’s weird because everybody can see
music and colors I always do everybody
does right and he just looks at me and
says no that’s definitely not normal how
could I not be normal but apparently I’m
definitely not normal
see I have this thing that
neuroscientists call synesthesia
synesthesia is the experience of senses
blending together so someone with
synesthesia might see violet whenever
they hear violins or taste vanilla
whenever they see gravel or feel velvet
whenever they smells cinnamon and
there’s many many other exotic
combinations but here’s the rub if I
thought I was normal when I wasn’t what
about you or the people sitting next to
you who’s the weirdo
[Music]
in a way you all are maybe you think
you’re normal when you’re not or maybe
you think you’re not normal when you are
what is normal what is it
seriously what if everything you’ve
assumed about who is normal and not
normal it’s actually not true which is
exactly what happened in my weird case
after 14 years of being poked and
prodded by scientists I had to accept
that yeah I’m definitely not normal and
my contention is that our labeling of
who is normal and not normal
alien eights and divides us and we do
this based on our differences when
instead we should regard our differences
as essential for human life as essential
as a heartbeat that’s it
we’re all special snowflakes right so
why am I here I’m a brain doctor with a
brain quirk one of the many forms of
synesthesia and my brain is known as
mirror touch
it’s the blending of sight with touch so
for example whenever I see someone
touched the right side of your face like
this my brain makes me literally feel as
though there’s a hand moving down the
left side of my face like this like I’m
the reflection so seeing you with
glasses here I feel like there’s glasses
sitting on my nose and you with your
hand in your face I feel like there’s a
hand right here and you hear with your
hair I feel like I have haircut moving
down the sides of my face the same it’s
really like I’m a reflection the
mirrored physical sensations can range
anywhere from pleasure too pain mirror
touch is kind of like an automatic very
physical super empathy actually there’s
something I’m going to try out that I’ve
never done before with 2500 people
yeah that’s you let’s play me please
turn the house lights up okay on the
count of three run your right hand down
the right side of her face like this
okay on three ready one two three
I feel like we all just have little
clues there the the feeling of a hand um
on my face is something very
affectionate so I thank you for the
indulgence okay now on the count of
three place your hand on your head and
pat your head of rubbing your belly no
we’re not going to do that but it would
be really funny to watch you try if we
please turn the house lights down thank
you so people with synesthesia are
genetically different and their brains
look and work differently compared to
other people but especially in the
medical world I decided to hide this not
normal part of what makes me me because
I didn’t know what would happen if I
spoke openly about my synesthesia what
people see me as diseased or delusional
a liar looking for attention or think
that I’m claiming to be psychic I was so
terrified that they would take away
everything I’d worked for on the
assumption that patients weren’t safe
around me having to hide this part of
myself this not normal part created a
deep ache at the base of my heart I felt
alone and that hurts
it’s a feeling many of you probably felt
when I couldn’t connect with the people
around me it was the patients that
helped me because no matter how
vulnerable and not normal they felt they
still had the courage to share their
stories
in fact after hearing the stories of
thousands of patients with not normal
brains I couldn’t deny anymore that I
might be able to do some good by doing
the very very very scary thing of
sharing my secret but I’m definitely not
normal
sure normal can feel safer more
predictable more comfortable but that
shouldn’t mean that by default normal is
better
and neither is normal a requirement to
be a worthy human being if you want to
see a real evidence of this just look to
your favorite piece of art or technology
your favorite song people who are not
normal include celebrities with
synesthesia like Billy Joel Lord
Pharrell who gave us all the gift of
happy even the Nobel Prize winning
physicist Richard Feynman did you
imagine what would have happened if all
these people had instead decided to hide
themselves to avoid being labeled not
normal how many other ways can we be
normal or not normal
Steve Jobs was adopted Anderson Cooper
has dyslexia Justin Timberlake has ADHD
in OCD Emma Stone panic attacks Beyonce
Adele JK rowling depression Beethoven
was deaf Eddie Redmayne Christopher
Nolan mr. Rogers all color blind please
raise your hand if you are left-handed
Wow
look around put your hands down not that
long ago you’d be considered not just
not normal you be considered straight-up
evil but this is the kind of stuff we do
in someone else’s eyes
you are not normal
maybe because of your religion or
spirituality or having none at all maybe
you grew up on a farm when everyone else
around you grew up in a city
maybe you feel excluded because of your
size or your skin color or your
background or how you dress or who you
love or how you think or how you talk or
how old or young you look
maybe you feel left out because you’re
single or maybe because you’re married
or partnered but not married or divorced
or widowed maybe you have too many
children or can’t have children or don’t
want children in someone else’s eyes you
are not enough like them therefore you
are not normal how much pain has been
inflicted because of the label not
normal how many atrocities have been
committed because someone does not fit
in we grow up teaching one another but
the person who is more familiar more
typical more like us is normal then we
call them good or beautiful or better or
worthy of love in life what I think it
comes to is this this labeling of normal
and not normal
gets in our way of connecting with each
other and treating each other as part of
the same species
it doesn’t just weaken us it can kill us
which is why I’m here to say that this
is not normal
I am not normal
and what I can also appreciate now is
that there is no normal variation is the
norm each of us is a different spin on
one theme human and being open to our
differences is not about highlighting or
limitations
it’s about reimagining human possibility
the problem is not our differences the
problem is how we think about our
differences please find your heart with
your hand and really connect with your
heartbeat at this moment even if it’s
just for now seeing you this is what I
feel I wish you could experience it to
the depth of love and connection in this
room is incredible and it fills me with
hope my hope is that we will have the
courage to appreciate our differences
just as we appreciate our similarities
and then harness those differences and
use them for something good thank you
very much
[Applause]
[Music] you
and if you think you’re off the hook you
actually the whole way we think about
normal and not normal a mess I first
encountered this one night with a group
of other medical students when a friend
of mine says did you all know that there
are people who can literally see music
and color like they see colors and
shapes whenever they hear sounds it’s so
weird it’s like their brain is tripping
on acid all the time and I’m like well
that’s weird because everybody can see
music and colors I always do everybody
does right and he just looks at me and
says no that’s definitely not normal how
could I not be normal but apparently I’m
definitely not normal
see I have this thing that
neuroscientists call synesthesia
synesthesia is the experience of senses
blending together so someone with
synesthesia might see violet whenever
they hear violins or taste vanilla
whenever they see gravel or feel velvet
whenever they smells cinnamon and
there’s many many other exotic
combinations but here’s the rub if I
thought I was normal when I wasn’t what
about you or the people sitting next to
you who’s the weirdo
[Music]
in a way you all are maybe you think
you’re normal when you’re not or maybe
you think you’re not normal when you are
what is normal what is it
seriously what if everything you’ve
assumed about who is normal and not
normal it’s actually not true which is
exactly what happened in my weird case
after 14 years of being poked and
prodded by scientists I had to accept
that yeah I’m definitely not normal and
my contention is that our labeling of
who is normal and not normal
alien eights and divides us and we do
this based on our differences when
instead we should regard our differences
as essential for human life as essential
as a heartbeat that’s it
we’re all special snowflakes right so
why am I here I’m a brain doctor with a
brain quirk one of the many forms of
synesthesia and my brain is known as
mirror touch
it’s the blending of sight with touch so
for example whenever I see someone
touched the right side of your face like
this my brain makes me literally feel as
though there’s a hand moving down the
left side of my face like this like I’m
the reflection so seeing you with
glasses here I feel like there’s glasses
sitting on my nose and you with your
hand in your face I feel like there’s a
hand right here and you hear with your
hair I feel like I have haircut moving
down the sides of my face the same it’s
really like I’m a reflection the
mirrored physical sensations can range
anywhere from pleasure too pain mirror
touch is kind of like an automatic very
physical super empathy actually there’s
something I’m going to try out that I’ve
never done before with 2500 people
yeah that’s you let’s play me please
turn the house lights up okay on the
count of three run your right hand down
the right side of her face like this
okay on three ready one two three
I feel like we all just have little
clues there the the feeling of a hand um
on my face is something very
affectionate so I thank you for the
indulgence okay now on the count of
three place your hand on your head and
pat your head of rubbing your belly no
we’re not going to do that but it would
be really funny to watch you try if we
please turn the house lights down thank
you so people with synesthesia are
genetically different and their brains
look and work differently compared to
other people but especially in the
medical world I decided to hide this not
normal part of what makes me me because
I didn’t know what would happen if I
spoke openly about my synesthesia what
people see me as diseased or delusional
a liar looking for attention or think
that I’m claiming to be psychic I was so
terrified that they would take away
everything I’d worked for on the
assumption that patients weren’t safe
around me having to hide this part of
myself this not normal part created a
deep ache at the base of my heart I felt
alone and that hurts
it’s a feeling many of you probably felt
when I couldn’t connect with the people
around me it was the patients that
helped me because no matter how
vulnerable and not normal they felt they
still had the courage to share their
stories
in fact after hearing the stories of
thousands of patients with not normal
brains I couldn’t deny anymore that I
might be able to do some good by doing
the very very very scary thing of
sharing my secret but I’m definitely not
normal
sure normal can feel safer more
predictable more comfortable but that
shouldn’t mean that by default normal is
better
and neither is normal a requirement to
be a worthy human being if you want to
see a real evidence of this just look to
your favorite piece of art or technology
your favorite song people who are not
normal include celebrities with
synesthesia like Billy Joel Lord
Pharrell who gave us all the gift of
happy even the Nobel Prize winning
physicist Richard Feynman did you
imagine what would have happened if all
these people had instead decided to hide
themselves to avoid being labeled not
normal how many other ways can we be
normal or not normal
Steve Jobs was adopted Anderson Cooper
has dyslexia Justin Timberlake has ADHD
in OCD Emma Stone panic attacks Beyonce
Adele JK rowling depression Beethoven
was deaf Eddie Redmayne Christopher
Nolan mr. Rogers all color blind please
raise your hand if you are left-handed
Wow
look around put your hands down not that
long ago you’d be considered not just
not normal you be considered straight-up
evil but this is the kind of stuff we do
in someone else’s eyes
you are not normal
maybe because of your religion or
spirituality or having none at all maybe
you grew up on a farm when everyone else
around you grew up in a city
maybe you feel excluded because of your
size or your skin color or your
background or how you dress or who you
love or how you think or how you talk or
how old or young you look
maybe you feel left out because you’re
single or maybe because you’re married
or partnered but not married or divorced
or widowed maybe you have too many
children or can’t have children or don’t
want children in someone else’s eyes you
are not enough like them therefore you
are not normal how much pain has been
inflicted because of the label not
normal how many atrocities have been
committed because someone does not fit
in we grow up teaching one another but
the person who is more familiar more
typical more like us is normal then we
call them good or beautiful or better or
worthy of love in life what I think it
comes to is this this labeling of normal
and not normal
gets in our way of connecting with each
other and treating each other as part of
the same species
it doesn’t just weaken us it can kill us
which is why I’m here to say that this
is not normal
I am not normal
and what I can also appreciate now is
that there is no normal variation is the
norm each of us is a different spin on
one theme human and being open to our
differences is not about highlighting or
limitations
it’s about reimagining human possibility
the problem is not our differences the
problem is how we think about our
differences please find your heart with
your hand and really connect with your
heartbeat at this moment even if it’s
just for now seeing you this is what I
feel I wish you could experience it to
the depth of love and connection in this
room is incredible and it fills me with
hope my hope is that we will have the
courage to appreciate our differences
just as we appreciate our similarities
and then harness those differences and
use them for something good thank you
very much
[Applause]
[Music] you
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