[Music]
oh I should probably put this away this
summer marks my 10 year anniversary on
social media please hold the applause I
loved it I’ve hated it I’ve deleted it
I’ve reinstalled it it took a 15-second
social experiment for me to figure out
that perhaps we’re missing out on
something way greater so before we get
into it I wanted to share just a quick
quick picture of where we’re at with
social media today so exhibit a let’s
start with over sharing nobody wants to
see this especially my family ad Exhibit
B Envy five years ago I got divorced it
was an incredibly challenging time for
me and I turned to social media to help
escape some of the pain I cruised on my
feed and I’d see so much good news for
my friends and it made me feel worse at
Exhibit C straight up so ninis yep I’ve
got that covered too we all want our
businesses to be successful but I bought
Instagram followers for an account
called are you being real that’s yeah
it’s all about being authentic and
clearly I wasn’t remember when we used
to write each other handwritten letters
and talked on the phone for hours that
was nice
today we’re supposedly more connected
than ever and we check our phones a
hundred times a day we spend over four
hours on them but we try to speak our
minds in 140 characters or less
we ghost entirely or we choose our
phones over each other I know we can all
relate on that one though really no
wonder why so many people feel lonely
these days so how can we strengthen our
relationships through social media last
year my dad passed away at the age of 67
after an 18-year battle with young onset
Alzheimers disease even though I knew it
was coming it didn’t make it any easier
when he finally passed and I found
myself really struggling tried to make
sense of it but not knowing how to cope
upon sharing the news on my social media
I felt like I was hit by a tsunami of
love I was so touched by all the
messages and I just didn’t know how to
respond because clicking like or writing
thanks this wasn’t gonna cut it and I
also didn’t want to sit there for hours
typing out paragraphs but instead I just
took out my phone I press record and I
spoke from my heart and I replied to as
many people as I could with personalized
messages it was such a therapeutic
experience that I wondered what can I do
that something similar that I can apply
in my daily life and then I came up with
this idea that I like to call the
birthday experiment where I send
personalized videos to every single one
of my Facebook friends on their
birthdays now for a guy who just five
years ago would delete posts in fear of
being judged the contrast could not be
any greater though I have 2,700 Facebook
friends and as
as long as I choose to be friends with
someone saying hi and wishing them well
is worth 15 seconds of my life
15 seconds is also the cap that facebook
Messenger puts on videos recorded within
the app and in my case prevents me from
being an incoherent rambling mess
I’ve sent messages to everyone from my
closest friends and family through grade
school classmates through ex-girlfriends
family members of ex-girlfriends and
even those people who you have
absolutely no idea where or how you met
them people’s birthdays are just another
day for most of us but for them it’s
their day so remind myself of that and
think of some of our memories that we
shared together when pressing record as
of today I have sent one thousand seven
hundred and sixty two messages and the
best part is that I’ve heard back from
over 70% of the people it’s created over
a thousand conversations people really
appreciate the personal touch and the
effort and it’s reinvigorated hundreds
of dormant relationships that
essentially just there hadn’t been any
communication in years with about seven
birthdays a day it takes me just five
minutes to send the videos and to reply
to any messages and it’s a hundred
percent worth it here’s what some people
have been saying in response in the land
of text messages wall postings and
telephone calls one facebook video rises
above them all way to make pace book
personal and not just watch people from
afar I wish everyone did this or love
the personal touch you just inspired me
to add that to my list of goals 4:35
make it more personal and it didn’t end
there
people replied with videos of their own
I had the opportunity to be set up on
multiple dates
so yeah so it’s better than tinder I
received some amazing business
opportunities and I even got a chance to
connect with my friend Andrew only weeks
before he passed away we hadn’t spoken
in over 10 years
without the birthday experiment we never
would have gotten that chance this has
become a cherished daily ritual for me
it’s fun it’s fulfilling and I
consistently feel better afterwards and
yeah it’s really nice to get a video on
your birthday but the reason it works is
actually so much deeper and has nothing
to do with birthdays at all we want to
be seen we want to be valued we want to
be loved and the birthday experiment
does just that it’s about human
connection it’s about getting in the
habit of supporting others and in my
case standing for what I believe in I
want to live in a world where more
people are open and honest we can
actually understand each other best
support one another and ultimately
thrive together that’s the real reason
why I do the birthday experiment it’s
one shot in the dark that I hope will
create a positive ripple effect in the
world and believe it or not Facebook
appears to get this – upon reaching 2
billion users CEO Mark Zuckerberg
rewrote the company’s mission statement
and everyone on Facebook got a video
letting them know or letting us know
that it’s not about the number it’s what
all of us can do together it’s time to
use our smartphones in smarter ways and
here are three of my favorite ways to do
it
number one start a conversation be
proactive and reach out to people you
appreciate or want to get to know so
many people have done this to build
relationships successful careers or even
find love and if you want to try out the
birthday experiment go for it it’s
amazing
another great conversation starter is
posting questions on your Facebook wall
in fact I gathered research for this
talk by doing that you can literally
post any question about any challenge
that you have and get amazing answers
from people you trust it is so much more
time effective than a Google search
number to be giving make a habit of
sharing your personal insights causes
you believe in and content that touches
your heart if it’s meaningful to you
it’ll probably be meaningful to other
people as well and you never know
sharing a quick post just pushy said
could potentially save or change
someone’s life you could also give the
gift of gratitude by letting someone
know you appreciate their post I think
we can all do a little bit better of a
job with that definitely in comparison
to not even liking it all or just
clicking like actually reaching out
being a human and creating some
connection it really is so easy to make
you both feel great and literally just
takes a few seconds and number three be
real let people see you it’s the best
tip for getting what you truly most
deeply desire I’ll admit I still check
my phone over a hundred times a day and
I am definitely still addicted to it but
now I use it to create more value for
others and to become a better me you can
too and I dare you to try something new
in fact that’s what we’re gonna do right
now for Kerri it’s her birthday today
and she just so happens to be my
first-ever high school girlfriend so
hopefully it’s not too awkward we’ll see
how it goes
let me tea it up so the way it’s gonna
work is I’m gonna hit record I’m gonna
say a few words to Carrie and then on
the count of three we’re gonna all say
happy birthday Carrie so one two three
happy birthday Carrie we got it all
right sweet thanks here we go hey Carrie
I see on Facebook that it’s your
birthday today and I wanted to send you
some serious love for the year ahead
with this incredibly
random video and I’ve got some friends
that want to say hi to one two three
happy birthday Carrie
[Laughter]
[Applause]
that was hysterical and I can’t wait to
see what she has to say in response in
our hands is the greatest communication
tool of all time instead of scrolling
endlessly and comparing our lives to
other peoples highlight reels let’s make
a positive impact in the world thank you
[Applause]
oh I should probably put this away this
summer marks my 10 year anniversary on
social media please hold the applause I
loved it I’ve hated it I’ve deleted it
I’ve reinstalled it it took a 15-second
social experiment for me to figure out
that perhaps we’re missing out on
something way greater so before we get
into it I wanted to share just a quick
quick picture of where we’re at with
social media today so exhibit a let’s
start with over sharing nobody wants to
see this especially my family ad Exhibit
B Envy five years ago I got divorced it
was an incredibly challenging time for
me and I turned to social media to help
escape some of the pain I cruised on my
feed and I’d see so much good news for
my friends and it made me feel worse at
Exhibit C straight up so ninis yep I’ve
got that covered too we all want our
businesses to be successful but I bought
Instagram followers for an account
called are you being real that’s yeah
it’s all about being authentic and
clearly I wasn’t remember when we used
to write each other handwritten letters
and talked on the phone for hours that
was nice
today we’re supposedly more connected
than ever and we check our phones a
hundred times a day we spend over four
hours on them but we try to speak our
minds in 140 characters or less
we ghost entirely or we choose our
phones over each other I know we can all
relate on that one though really no
wonder why so many people feel lonely
these days so how can we strengthen our
relationships through social media last
year my dad passed away at the age of 67
after an 18-year battle with young onset
Alzheimers disease even though I knew it
was coming it didn’t make it any easier
when he finally passed and I found
myself really struggling tried to make
sense of it but not knowing how to cope
upon sharing the news on my social media
I felt like I was hit by a tsunami of
love I was so touched by all the
messages and I just didn’t know how to
respond because clicking like or writing
thanks this wasn’t gonna cut it and I
also didn’t want to sit there for hours
typing out paragraphs but instead I just
took out my phone I press record and I
spoke from my heart and I replied to as
many people as I could with personalized
messages it was such a therapeutic
experience that I wondered what can I do
that something similar that I can apply
in my daily life and then I came up with
this idea that I like to call the
birthday experiment where I send
personalized videos to every single one
of my Facebook friends on their
birthdays now for a guy who just five
years ago would delete posts in fear of
being judged the contrast could not be
any greater though I have 2,700 Facebook
friends and as
as long as I choose to be friends with
someone saying hi and wishing them well
is worth 15 seconds of my life
15 seconds is also the cap that facebook
Messenger puts on videos recorded within
the app and in my case prevents me from
being an incoherent rambling mess
I’ve sent messages to everyone from my
closest friends and family through grade
school classmates through ex-girlfriends
family members of ex-girlfriends and
even those people who you have
absolutely no idea where or how you met
them people’s birthdays are just another
day for most of us but for them it’s
their day so remind myself of that and
think of some of our memories that we
shared together when pressing record as
of today I have sent one thousand seven
hundred and sixty two messages and the
best part is that I’ve heard back from
over 70% of the people it’s created over
a thousand conversations people really
appreciate the personal touch and the
effort and it’s reinvigorated hundreds
of dormant relationships that
essentially just there hadn’t been any
communication in years with about seven
birthdays a day it takes me just five
minutes to send the videos and to reply
to any messages and it’s a hundred
percent worth it here’s what some people
have been saying in response in the land
of text messages wall postings and
telephone calls one facebook video rises
above them all way to make pace book
personal and not just watch people from
afar I wish everyone did this or love
the personal touch you just inspired me
to add that to my list of goals 4:35
make it more personal and it didn’t end
there
people replied with videos of their own
I had the opportunity to be set up on
multiple dates
so yeah so it’s better than tinder I
received some amazing business
opportunities and I even got a chance to
connect with my friend Andrew only weeks
before he passed away we hadn’t spoken
in over 10 years
without the birthday experiment we never
would have gotten that chance this has
become a cherished daily ritual for me
it’s fun it’s fulfilling and I
consistently feel better afterwards and
yeah it’s really nice to get a video on
your birthday but the reason it works is
actually so much deeper and has nothing
to do with birthdays at all we want to
be seen we want to be valued we want to
be loved and the birthday experiment
does just that it’s about human
connection it’s about getting in the
habit of supporting others and in my
case standing for what I believe in I
want to live in a world where more
people are open and honest we can
actually understand each other best
support one another and ultimately
thrive together that’s the real reason
why I do the birthday experiment it’s
one shot in the dark that I hope will
create a positive ripple effect in the
world and believe it or not Facebook
appears to get this – upon reaching 2
billion users CEO Mark Zuckerberg
rewrote the company’s mission statement
and everyone on Facebook got a video
letting them know or letting us know
that it’s not about the number it’s what
all of us can do together it’s time to
use our smartphones in smarter ways and
here are three of my favorite ways to do
it
number one start a conversation be
proactive and reach out to people you
appreciate or want to get to know so
many people have done this to build
relationships successful careers or even
find love and if you want to try out the
birthday experiment go for it it’s
amazing
another great conversation starter is
posting questions on your Facebook wall
in fact I gathered research for this
talk by doing that you can literally
post any question about any challenge
that you have and get amazing answers
from people you trust it is so much more
time effective than a Google search
number to be giving make a habit of
sharing your personal insights causes
you believe in and content that touches
your heart if it’s meaningful to you
it’ll probably be meaningful to other
people as well and you never know
sharing a quick post just pushy said
could potentially save or change
someone’s life you could also give the
gift of gratitude by letting someone
know you appreciate their post I think
we can all do a little bit better of a
job with that definitely in comparison
to not even liking it all or just
clicking like actually reaching out
being a human and creating some
connection it really is so easy to make
you both feel great and literally just
takes a few seconds and number three be
real let people see you it’s the best
tip for getting what you truly most
deeply desire I’ll admit I still check
my phone over a hundred times a day and
I am definitely still addicted to it but
now I use it to create more value for
others and to become a better me you can
too and I dare you to try something new
in fact that’s what we’re gonna do right
now for Kerri it’s her birthday today
and she just so happens to be my
first-ever high school girlfriend so
hopefully it’s not too awkward we’ll see
how it goes
let me tea it up so the way it’s gonna
work is I’m gonna hit record I’m gonna
say a few words to Carrie and then on
the count of three we’re gonna all say
happy birthday Carrie so one two three
happy birthday Carrie we got it all
right sweet thanks here we go hey Carrie
I see on Facebook that it’s your
birthday today and I wanted to send you
some serious love for the year ahead
with this incredibly
random video and I’ve got some friends
that want to say hi to one two three
happy birthday Carrie
[Laughter]
[Applause]
that was hysterical and I can’t wait to
see what she has to say in response in
our hands is the greatest communication
tool of all time instead of scrolling
endlessly and comparing our lives to
other peoples highlight reels let’s make
a positive impact in the world thank you
[Applause]
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