hello everybody I grew up on the streets
of Camden New Jersey late sixties early
seventies come from a family 15 siblings
where five have been incarcerated has
some form of contact with the law in my
community there was a lack of
opportunity lack of jobs lack of it a
lot of different things in 1974 my
sister was brutally murdered and stomped
to death by her boyfriend in front of
two of her friends he stomped her beyond
recognition
he took my little two-year-old nephew
who was 2 years old and he threw him out
the second-floor window
however he survived that but he lived a
very hurtful life after that and sure I
eventually died over a drug overdose it
was very hurting for him and the rest of
my family and I believe that is one of
the things that actually turned me bad
somewhat and a few years later 1980 I
was incarcerated for accidental homicide
on the night of July 25th me and another
gentleman John we’re going to purchase
some drugs a guy by the name of jr.
someone that we knew was selling drugs
but he would not sell to just anybody so
we needed somebody to get the drugs
whores so we drove to Athens State
Street and North Camden I saw Henry and
Pancho and I asked them if they could
purchase the drugs for me so I gave
Henry my $80 the purchase of drugs for
me he left I waited for him to come back
when he came back he didn’t have the
drugs or he didn’t have my money he said
they’d beat him out of it I know he was
lying because he was not and he was
sweating and all those things so I
became extremely angry I said wait there
I left I went over to six and Vine
Street where he went to purchase the
drugs and I asked jr. did you just sell
some drugs to a tall dark skinned black
guy he said yes I became extremely angry
during the course of that a friend of
mine by the name of Albert happened to
be passing we hadn’t seen each other in
many years we greeted each other we gave
each other hug and while men Albert was
there talking I kept hearing screaming
voices said get the car get the car get
the cars out of gear and when I looked
over I saw that the car was rolling in
Reverse
so I ran over to the car to put the car
in park to cut it off and as I was
getting out the car my feet hit
something on the floor it was a gun my
friend John had a gun in the car
I picked the gun up as I was getting out
the car and when I looked over I saw
Henry pulling up in a white van I ran
over to Henry I said I want my drugs or
my money he says I don’t have either I
became extremely angry again
I believe I slapped him across the face
with the pistol he took off running when
he took off running our fired several
shots fired several reckless shots I
didn’t know if one of the bullets had
anything one or anything but the guy jr.
was started walking towards me he said
hey you shoot through the guy over there
he had nothing to do with that ice I
didn’t mean to shoot anyone so I looked
around and I saw that the crowd was very
upset and I got scared
John through the car keys I jumped in
the car I left I took off while in
hiding I became very frightened and
scared of what I had done and I learned
that the victim had died of a single
gunshot wound to the head
I also learned that they had been on
life support for five days and I also
the identity of the victim was my best
friend Alberto res the guy that I was
just talking to the bullet the stray
bullet that I fired it hit him and
killed him and you know I had no idea
you know that this was a tragedy it’s a
tragedy many times over you know it’s
not easy sharing this but it was a
tragedy many times over because not only
had I taken the life of a human being
I’ve taken the life of my best friend
who had nothing to do with it he was
doing all the right things in his life
he was a community activist he was
showing the kids how to box he was
teaching him how to swim at the
community center me I gravitated more
towards the street I was out in the
streets and I had you know mistakenly
taking this kid’s life so you know like
the impact of what happened that night
has many impacts it didn’t just impact
me and then just impact his family it
had an impact on everybody it had an
impact on community the impact it had on
the community the community had come so
outraged because of this particular area
they became so outraged that public
officials or law enforcement wasn’t
doing anything it was like several
people had gotten shot in this area it
was a bar and the community came so
outraged that they set fire to that bar
after his death they were that angry and
by them setting fire to that bar they
also put the lives of so many other
people at risk because that bar was
connected to other homes and it burnt
that whole block down so this was just
one of the rippling effects that my
crime had it didn’t just want his family
it didn’t just on this one person it had
multiple impacts my sister Colleen and
the victim’s sister also worked together
one
the dental assistant one was a nurse in
the same office building this then
destroyed a relationship but it did
cause them a lot of heartache and pain
to repeatedly have to explain to their
co-workers their co-workers just
couldn’t understand how the two of y’all
our friends when your brother just
killed my brother they couldn’t
understand that this is something that
they needed to work out but everyone
else was more concerned but as I said
the impact of crime and the impact that
it had whether it’s one first responders
or whoever is their crime just has so
many it’s just not on one single person
and I try to go around and I try to
share that message with everybody and
share this message with the kids that I
speak to to show them that you know you
need to think always think because it
just has so many different impacts on
everybody while I was in prison in honor
of my friend I needed to do something in
my life I mean all this couldn’t just be
in vain so in honor of him and myself I
wanted to do different things I
transferred to always a prison and I
heard they had a lot of programs that
was available I got involved with the
lifers group a lot of people know better
at scare straight based on the
documentary 1978 where we showed kids
that were at risk a prison would bring
them into the prison
give them a tour show them the harsh
truths about prison life and when I
joined that group I was in there for a
while and it didn’t seem like their
message was getting out and at that time
rap music was very popular the kids were
listening all listening to rap music
they were wearing the clothing the
hairdos and everything so I thought what
better way to get some message my
message out to these kids right here so
he came up with the idea I reached out
to
a gentleman Red Alert who was one woman
our funders list and there was a
gentleman by the name of David Klein and
I said Dave there’s some guys inside of
here I’d like to do a record and I’d
like to try to save some lives or
something and he was going to be the new
head of Hollywood basic which is a
record company that was owned by Disney
and the thing is men there’s any Disney
Company in the lifers group had the same
thing in common they were under the life
of entertaining kids we were into the
saving kids life I went to the gentleman
the younger guys inside the prison and I
said if you can be fine or a message
that you can give to somebody to turn a
lives around what would you say
because I would like for you to put that
in a rap format for me because I’m
trying to make a record and they thought
it was a joke
I’m in prison I’m gonna make a album
I’ll make a record so they did I didn’t
have to search far because you have so
many different talents you have a lot of
talented people inside of prison we put
there we put the album out the first one
was a huge success our message had
gotten out there people were starting to
take heed I was getting letters from
parents saying up the difference that we
had on their child’s life or their lives
college students were coming in but in
uh later on I received one letter from a
girl in Canada she thought that we were
a very fake group she sent me on an
interview on much TV of Canada but a
gentleman by the name of Mike wins she
was in this gang she wanted to get out
the game every time she wanted to get
out the game the guys in the group with
threatener I have you on tape having sex
with my buddies and I’m gonna show this
to your mother
so she plotted to kill these four guys
the only thing that stopped her from
killing these four guys was seeing my
interview and that one chance that 1% of
the possibility of her get in court
and going to jail is the only thing that
stopped her she had the weaponry and
everything was the only thing that
stopped her so again I said I know my
message in the music was getting out
there I had received like so many
letters from organizations and just so
many people of making it making a
as y’all know we were nominated for a
Grammy in 1991 against Madonna Peter
Gabriel Sinead O’Connor and Billy Joe
Madonna one for best long form music
video but I had no idea this project was
gonna become bigger than me I wasn’t
looking forward to a Grammy or anything
I was just doing what I was doing trying
to make a difference in someone life in
1993 I was shipped out of Rahway State
Prison because there was some popularity
the group had become somewhat popular to
other prisoners to some of the
correction officers in there and there
was a little animosity and jealousy that
was caused in there I was shipped out of
Rahway administrative Lee to another
prison in 1993 and I spent the next 20
years transferred to several prisons but
every prison that I came in contact with
I got in touch with someone in the
community whether it was college
students news magazines to write poetry
I was a facilitator and many of the
other programs focus of the victim
program just something that I can do to
give back focus to the victim program
it’s a program it shows defenders of the
impact that your crime has on the
victors and survived because crime and a
person going to prison also isn’t just
about punishment there’s a punitive
aspect but there’s also a rehabilitative
aspect to prison too you serve your
punitive then you try to work on the
I’ve been home since 2011 and since I’ve
been home what I try to do is I try to
continue to go around to various schools
to talk to kids talk to parents and I
try to just our model has always been
learned the chief at the expense of our
sorrows one of my main messages to the
kids I’m somebody I don’t want you I
wanted to be an example of what not to
be or what not to become and change is
not spiral you know I mean change is
spiral change is not straight it doesn’t
happen overnight change it took me many
many many years to change just like it
took me those many years to change or to
get to the level of where I was as far
as what happened that night it might
take a person or take me just as many
years to undo those type of thinking
patterns and behavior patterns that I’ve
learned over a period of time so it just
doesn’t happen overnight as I said I’m
trying not just for my victim but I’m
just trying to be an asset to the
community and said I’ve been a liability
most of my life I’ve been in and out of
trouble all my life as a young teen and
I’m not gonna blame it on drugs I’m not
gonna blame it anything on anything but
I can’t leave out the fact of a drug
addiction because it played a big part
in my earlier life hood and some of my
dog my adult life was so I can’t leave
that out as that but it’s been a
combination of things but change is it’s
very great you know it makes me feel you
know very good to see that I’m having a
positive impact or if I’m helping
someone to turn a life around you know
just to make everyone realize the impact
you know it just it just it devastates
me whether it’s from first responders or
whoever for example an ambulance is
responding to a call you have a kid
who’s been shot several times it has an
impact
even first responders I mean crime is
it’s just it’s just it’s just such a
tragedy and we just need to be you know
everybody needs to just be more aware
when I made that decision to change my
life and the decisions that I make now
and it’s not based off of well I’m
scared I’m gonna get caught
oh I don’t want to go to jail no the
decisions that I make in my life right
now it’s because it’s the right thing to
do that I don’t want to harm anybody I
don’t want anybody else to harm anybody
so I go around I continue to go around
to the various community centers and I
just try to share my story and hopes
that it that it will help somebody or
that it will help turn a kids turn
somebody’s life around it’s just
something I want to give back especially
when I’ve taken so much and with my
music project I’ve received so many
letters of accommodation so many
certificates and various things but all
those things don’t mean nothing what’s
been the most rewarding for me is when I
receive a letter and say that I’ve made
a difference in their life or their
child’s life you know that’s that’s like
the greatest feeling in the world and uh
it’s not easy me standing up here
telling you all this neither you know
any wrongs that you’ve done it was like
it’s not very easy sharing this and
sharing my story it’s not easy to really
do especially when you’ve done a lot of
bad things in your life so I just wanted
to you know get up here and share that
with you and in hopes that it will help
in one way or another it helps somebody
to reach somebody and I think you know
those of you who came out to see me or
to hear me and I think y’all very much
for coming
I just want to say thank you all for
coming
can’t tell me damn thing about to get oh
I’ve been there [Music]
of Camden New Jersey late sixties early
seventies come from a family 15 siblings
where five have been incarcerated has
some form of contact with the law in my
community there was a lack of
opportunity lack of jobs lack of it a
lot of different things in 1974 my
sister was brutally murdered and stomped
to death by her boyfriend in front of
two of her friends he stomped her beyond
recognition
he took my little two-year-old nephew
who was 2 years old and he threw him out
the second-floor window
however he survived that but he lived a
very hurtful life after that and sure I
eventually died over a drug overdose it
was very hurting for him and the rest of
my family and I believe that is one of
the things that actually turned me bad
somewhat and a few years later 1980 I
was incarcerated for accidental homicide
on the night of July 25th me and another
gentleman John we’re going to purchase
some drugs a guy by the name of jr.
someone that we knew was selling drugs
but he would not sell to just anybody so
we needed somebody to get the drugs
whores so we drove to Athens State
Street and North Camden I saw Henry and
Pancho and I asked them if they could
purchase the drugs for me so I gave
Henry my $80 the purchase of drugs for
me he left I waited for him to come back
when he came back he didn’t have the
drugs or he didn’t have my money he said
they’d beat him out of it I know he was
lying because he was not and he was
sweating and all those things so I
became extremely angry I said wait there
I left I went over to six and Vine
Street where he went to purchase the
drugs and I asked jr. did you just sell
some drugs to a tall dark skinned black
guy he said yes I became extremely angry
during the course of that a friend of
mine by the name of Albert happened to
be passing we hadn’t seen each other in
many years we greeted each other we gave
each other hug and while men Albert was
there talking I kept hearing screaming
voices said get the car get the car get
the cars out of gear and when I looked
over I saw that the car was rolling in
Reverse
so I ran over to the car to put the car
in park to cut it off and as I was
getting out the car my feet hit
something on the floor it was a gun my
friend John had a gun in the car
I picked the gun up as I was getting out
the car and when I looked over I saw
Henry pulling up in a white van I ran
over to Henry I said I want my drugs or
my money he says I don’t have either I
became extremely angry again
I believe I slapped him across the face
with the pistol he took off running when
he took off running our fired several
shots fired several reckless shots I
didn’t know if one of the bullets had
anything one or anything but the guy jr.
was started walking towards me he said
hey you shoot through the guy over there
he had nothing to do with that ice I
didn’t mean to shoot anyone so I looked
around and I saw that the crowd was very
upset and I got scared
John through the car keys I jumped in
the car I left I took off while in
hiding I became very frightened and
scared of what I had done and I learned
that the victim had died of a single
gunshot wound to the head
I also learned that they had been on
life support for five days and I also
the identity of the victim was my best
friend Alberto res the guy that I was
just talking to the bullet the stray
bullet that I fired it hit him and
killed him and you know I had no idea
you know that this was a tragedy it’s a
tragedy many times over you know it’s
not easy sharing this but it was a
tragedy many times over because not only
had I taken the life of a human being
I’ve taken the life of my best friend
who had nothing to do with it he was
doing all the right things in his life
he was a community activist he was
showing the kids how to box he was
teaching him how to swim at the
community center me I gravitated more
towards the street I was out in the
streets and I had you know mistakenly
taking this kid’s life so you know like
the impact of what happened that night
has many impacts it didn’t just impact
me and then just impact his family it
had an impact on everybody it had an
impact on community the impact it had on
the community the community had come so
outraged because of this particular area
they became so outraged that public
officials or law enforcement wasn’t
doing anything it was like several
people had gotten shot in this area it
was a bar and the community came so
outraged that they set fire to that bar
after his death they were that angry and
by them setting fire to that bar they
also put the lives of so many other
people at risk because that bar was
connected to other homes and it burnt
that whole block down so this was just
one of the rippling effects that my
crime had it didn’t just want his family
it didn’t just on this one person it had
multiple impacts my sister Colleen and
the victim’s sister also worked together
one
the dental assistant one was a nurse in
the same office building this then
destroyed a relationship but it did
cause them a lot of heartache and pain
to repeatedly have to explain to their
co-workers their co-workers just
couldn’t understand how the two of y’all
our friends when your brother just
killed my brother they couldn’t
understand that this is something that
they needed to work out but everyone
else was more concerned but as I said
the impact of crime and the impact that
it had whether it’s one first responders
or whoever is their crime just has so
many it’s just not on one single person
and I try to go around and I try to
share that message with everybody and
share this message with the kids that I
speak to to show them that you know you
need to think always think because it
just has so many different impacts on
everybody while I was in prison in honor
of my friend I needed to do something in
my life I mean all this couldn’t just be
in vain so in honor of him and myself I
wanted to do different things I
transferred to always a prison and I
heard they had a lot of programs that
was available I got involved with the
lifers group a lot of people know better
at scare straight based on the
documentary 1978 where we showed kids
that were at risk a prison would bring
them into the prison
give them a tour show them the harsh
truths about prison life and when I
joined that group I was in there for a
while and it didn’t seem like their
message was getting out and at that time
rap music was very popular the kids were
listening all listening to rap music
they were wearing the clothing the
hairdos and everything so I thought what
better way to get some message my
message out to these kids right here so
he came up with the idea I reached out
to
a gentleman Red Alert who was one woman
our funders list and there was a
gentleman by the name of David Klein and
I said Dave there’s some guys inside of
here I’d like to do a record and I’d
like to try to save some lives or
something and he was going to be the new
head of Hollywood basic which is a
record company that was owned by Disney
and the thing is men there’s any Disney
Company in the lifers group had the same
thing in common they were under the life
of entertaining kids we were into the
saving kids life I went to the gentleman
the younger guys inside the prison and I
said if you can be fine or a message
that you can give to somebody to turn a
lives around what would you say
because I would like for you to put that
in a rap format for me because I’m
trying to make a record and they thought
it was a joke
I’m in prison I’m gonna make a album
I’ll make a record so they did I didn’t
have to search far because you have so
many different talents you have a lot of
talented people inside of prison we put
there we put the album out the first one
was a huge success our message had
gotten out there people were starting to
take heed I was getting letters from
parents saying up the difference that we
had on their child’s life or their lives
college students were coming in but in
uh later on I received one letter from a
girl in Canada she thought that we were
a very fake group she sent me on an
interview on much TV of Canada but a
gentleman by the name of Mike wins she
was in this gang she wanted to get out
the game every time she wanted to get
out the game the guys in the group with
threatener I have you on tape having sex
with my buddies and I’m gonna show this
to your mother
so she plotted to kill these four guys
the only thing that stopped her from
killing these four guys was seeing my
interview and that one chance that 1% of
the possibility of her get in court
and going to jail is the only thing that
stopped her she had the weaponry and
everything was the only thing that
stopped her so again I said I know my
message in the music was getting out
there I had received like so many
letters from organizations and just so
many people of making it making a
as y’all know we were nominated for a
Grammy in 1991 against Madonna Peter
Gabriel Sinead O’Connor and Billy Joe
Madonna one for best long form music
video but I had no idea this project was
gonna become bigger than me I wasn’t
looking forward to a Grammy or anything
I was just doing what I was doing trying
to make a difference in someone life in
1993 I was shipped out of Rahway State
Prison because there was some popularity
the group had become somewhat popular to
other prisoners to some of the
correction officers in there and there
was a little animosity and jealousy that
was caused in there I was shipped out of
Rahway administrative Lee to another
prison in 1993 and I spent the next 20
years transferred to several prisons but
every prison that I came in contact with
I got in touch with someone in the
community whether it was college
students news magazines to write poetry
I was a facilitator and many of the
other programs focus of the victim
program just something that I can do to
give back focus to the victim program
it’s a program it shows defenders of the
impact that your crime has on the
victors and survived because crime and a
person going to prison also isn’t just
about punishment there’s a punitive
aspect but there’s also a rehabilitative
aspect to prison too you serve your
punitive then you try to work on the
I’ve been home since 2011 and since I’ve
been home what I try to do is I try to
continue to go around to various schools
to talk to kids talk to parents and I
try to just our model has always been
learned the chief at the expense of our
sorrows one of my main messages to the
kids I’m somebody I don’t want you I
wanted to be an example of what not to
be or what not to become and change is
not spiral you know I mean change is
spiral change is not straight it doesn’t
happen overnight change it took me many
many many years to change just like it
took me those many years to change or to
get to the level of where I was as far
as what happened that night it might
take a person or take me just as many
years to undo those type of thinking
patterns and behavior patterns that I’ve
learned over a period of time so it just
doesn’t happen overnight as I said I’m
trying not just for my victim but I’m
just trying to be an asset to the
community and said I’ve been a liability
most of my life I’ve been in and out of
trouble all my life as a young teen and
I’m not gonna blame it on drugs I’m not
gonna blame it anything on anything but
I can’t leave out the fact of a drug
addiction because it played a big part
in my earlier life hood and some of my
dog my adult life was so I can’t leave
that out as that but it’s been a
combination of things but change is it’s
very great you know it makes me feel you
know very good to see that I’m having a
positive impact or if I’m helping
someone to turn a life around you know
just to make everyone realize the impact
you know it just it just it devastates
me whether it’s from first responders or
whoever for example an ambulance is
responding to a call you have a kid
who’s been shot several times it has an
impact
even first responders I mean crime is
it’s just it’s just it’s just such a
tragedy and we just need to be you know
everybody needs to just be more aware
when I made that decision to change my
life and the decisions that I make now
and it’s not based off of well I’m
scared I’m gonna get caught
oh I don’t want to go to jail no the
decisions that I make in my life right
now it’s because it’s the right thing to
do that I don’t want to harm anybody I
don’t want anybody else to harm anybody
so I go around I continue to go around
to the various community centers and I
just try to share my story and hopes
that it that it will help somebody or
that it will help turn a kids turn
somebody’s life around it’s just
something I want to give back especially
when I’ve taken so much and with my
music project I’ve received so many
letters of accommodation so many
certificates and various things but all
those things don’t mean nothing what’s
been the most rewarding for me is when I
receive a letter and say that I’ve made
a difference in their life or their
child’s life you know that’s that’s like
the greatest feeling in the world and uh
it’s not easy me standing up here
telling you all this neither you know
any wrongs that you’ve done it was like
it’s not very easy sharing this and
sharing my story it’s not easy to really
do especially when you’ve done a lot of
bad things in your life so I just wanted
to you know get up here and share that
with you and in hopes that it will help
in one way or another it helps somebody
to reach somebody and I think you know
those of you who came out to see me or
to hear me and I think y’all very much
for coming
I just want to say thank you all for
coming
can’t tell me damn thing about to get oh
I’ve been there [Music]
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