I have been in the family wealth
management industry for over thirty
years now and during that time I’ve seen
families build lives for themselves in
an environment that was fairly stable
somewhat predictable certainly
materialistic only to find that now what
worked for them isn’t working so well
for their young folks as they now try to
leave the nest and build lives of their
own so a lot of parents far too many
find that they’re still funding their
young adults long past when they
expected to do so and regardless of how
much money they have whether it be a
little or B a lot they’ve they worry
they worry about failure to launch so
the goal for my talk today is to offer
you a model that I use in my family and
I use with clients that can help every
member of your family thrive especially
the young folks and I thrive I mean
living the lives that they love with
enough resources to support those
choices and this is really important
right now because our young folks are
coming into a world it’s at least in the
developed Western nations that is very
different than the one my generation
came into when we left the nest I think
they have it much harder than we did
just look at Canadian real estate prices
they’ve gone up over 200 percent since
1990 during the same period median
family income has only gone up well less
than 43 percent that trend isn’t just in
Canada either it’s seen in Asia to some
extent and in Europe and in the u.s. now
I remember my generation really having
very little difficulty affording our
first home but for young folks today for
most it’s a pipe dream think about
transportation I remember when I was 21
I could buy a really cool used car for
the same amount
that a 21 year old male in Toronto is
paying just for car insurance and
education the cost of university has
tripled since 1990 and that’s nothing
compared to the cost of food and housing
that’s probably why so many students are
leaving school loaded with student debt
and that’s a bummer because I remember
my generation when we left school we
pretty much just walked right into the
job of our choice it’s not like that for
young folks anymore a survey done by
where Kabbalists in 2014 said that of
those polled 77% were working in fields
unrelated to their education just to
make ends meet so our cost of living is
far outpacing our incomes and that’s
hard on all of us but that’s especially
hard for our young folks who are trying
to get established see the world is
changing so fast it’s hard for us to
keep up right now and I remember my
generation we had really two very clear
paths before us in high school I
remember we chose out of the vocational
route or we chose the academic route we
left college and went into the trades or
we left university went into the
professions but then somewhere along the
lines those paths converged and the goal
became about getting the first car
getting the spouse getting the house
getting the kids and then working the
rest of our lives to pay for the house
and the kids and with a hope to someday
retiring to a pension plan or to a
portfolio and we expect our young people
to also leave the nest and to start that
life cycle all over again that life
cycle that we know and understand but
our young people are coming out into the
world and they’re saying I can’t afford
this they want to be here with us but
they don’t see a clear path as to how to
do that everything is changing before
them economically socially culturally
politically
mentally there is no clear path any
longer so as I said we parents we worry
about failure to launch we want to
empower our young people but we worry
about creating entitled monsters we want
to create independence but we worry
about creating dependence we want to
help but we just don’t know how because
what worked for us isn’t working so well
for them and equally so our young folks
they want to make us proud right they
want to live a self-sustaining life as
well but they just don’t see the path
and for a lot that feels pretty hopeless
so here’s the truth our young people
aren’t going to live the life that we
let there’s no going back but here’s the
good news
most them don’t want to live our life
anyway most of them don’t want to live
the kind of life we led yes they want to
have enough resources to be able to live
life according to their own choices but
they’re just not as materialistic as we
were so what if what if this is actually
a really good thing what if what we’re
seeing is really just growing pains sort
of a foundational evolutionary push
towards a shift away from an economy in
a society that’s individualistic
materialistic competitive towards one
that’s more collaborative inclusive
perhaps sustainable I feel like we’re
seeing a fundamental paradigm shift away
from a society that’s built on like a
pyramid structure where power and
resources are held in the hands of the
few and everyone else sells their time
in exchange for money for perceived
financial security or maybe to buy some
cool stuff towards more of a circular
economy where people have more of an
attitude of self employment and their
work is based upon their values and they
work to preserve the control over
their personal time and their personal
freedom and they share the rewards with
each other our young people aren’t
willing to give away their power anymore
just for money they can’t buy much of
anything with it anyway
some people call these folks Millennials
some say they’re lazy and entitled maybe
some are but I like to think of them as
evolutionary thinkers as true wealth
creators because they’re creating an
abundance of what what we almost
treasure which is having time having
personal freedom and having the
resources to live life according to our
own choices with physical and financial
security so we need our young people to
be successful and this is where you
parents and grandparents come in can you
see that you could lead a transformation
within your family environment to help
strengthen every member of your family
so that they can better adapt and thrive
in this period of change I can’t answer
all of the challenges that your family
would have but I can’t offer you a model
that you can use that I’ve used in my
family and with clients that can help
your family navigate through these
changing times and thrive if you’re
willing to see your family as a
businesslike organization then you can
create the environment where together
you can grow and preserve all of your
resources just like a business would do
and you can grow stronger and more
United in the process you don’t have to
own a business you don’t have to have a
business I just mean be willing to see
your family as a business like
environment I call that environment the
Family Treasury it’s essentially what my
book is about so how can this family
Treasury how can this business like
environment help your family to navigate
through this change well think about
business for a moment business
human and financial wealth nothing more
than an idea about what it can
contribute to its community in exchange
for compensation and then it gathers
around it a group of people a team to
help it manifest that idea and then it
builds policies and procedures to
control risk and manage and adapt
through change we could do that in our
families but we don’t most of us don’t
see our society encourages us to get out
there and make it all on your own right
it’s a badge of honor if you did it all
on your own good for you
we’ve as a result got families who moved
to the beat of their own drum because we
value individualism an individual’s
success more than we do group or
collaborative success so is each of us
family members is moving to the beat of
our own drum it might be a cool rhythm
but we’re completely out of unison with
each other and we end up spinning in
circles can you imagine if a business
did that it wouldn’t last very long it’d
be bankrupt very quickly so we need to
think of our families in a different way
if we’re going to get on the other side
of this world upheaval and this these
economic and social challenges that
we’re facing so think like a business so
what are the foundational building
blocks of the family treasury then using
business as an example well many of you
might know the three P’s that make
business successful purpose plus people
equals profits and they are
interdependent on each other we just use
them by different names in the family
Treasury so we start with as a business
would a clear vision and mission what
business are we in what are we doing
this for
and then the business thinks now I need
a strategic financial plan to help me
reach all the goals and objectives along
the way to manifest that vision we can
do the same thing in our family using
the best practices business use we can
help every member of our family
identify
what is their unique talents what is
their authentic self and then sculpt a
life that allows the expression of that
authentic self those talents because
when we’re expressing our talents we
live a meaningful life as we live a
purposeful life and when we live a
purposeful life we live an inspired life
and that acts like a beacon that acts
like a lighthouse that helps us navigate
through difficult challenging times
through the dark turbulent waters and
just as the business would do we could
create our own personal strategic plan
to help us reach the goals and
objectives along the way to
materializing that mission for ourselves
I call it the family treasury prosperity
plan now also businesses realize they
can’t do this on their own so they build
a kick-ass team of high esteem
professionals that bring their a-game
every day and help to manifest the
vision and businesses support their
teams by fostering financial acumen
conflict resolution skills communication
skills and leadership capabilities
doesn’t your family deserve the same so
lucky for us we can use some of the
tools that businesses use to build our
family teams and help heal some of the
dysfunction that we all have a little
bit of the number one tool is the family
meeting formal family meeting I’m not
talking about the chitchat at the dinner
table that’s where all our patterns and
roles reveal themselves I’m talking
about a formal meeting complete with
meeting minutes agendas and flip charts
the formality of it encourages everyone
to bring their a-game to the meeting
everyone there is equally respected even
if they’re not equal and experienced or
authority power labels are left at the
door cell phones are left at the door
and they work together to overcome their
challenges and to take advantage of
their opportunities
the formal family meeting builds tribes
where every member of the tribe has each
other’s backs so what does what goes on
in these family meetings and by the way
I call them the family Treasury
roundtable well just like your business
would do we educate ourselves we gain
financial acumen and yes that means we
talk about money in our family I know
also we develop the skills that we need
to take advantage of the opportunities
before us you could hold book clubs you
could have speakers you could even just
talk to each other and share experiences
with each other and also just like your
business would do we could bring in
facilitators to help us understand the
unique communication styles of each of
our family members and then learn to
communicate better and a handful handle
conflict more maturely and then just
like a business would do we could borrow
some of those personality profiling
tools at the HR department he has and
help every member of our family
understand their unique talents and then
build a personal mission and vision
around that and just like a business
would we could bring in a coach to help
us create a clear personal path towards
the achievement of our mission and just
like your business would do who often
has a chief financial officer we can get
our own independent financial planner to
help us pilot our resources towards the
achievement of our goals so the family
Treasury has been a very important part
of my family’s life I’ve been married to
my husband for over 31 years actually it
was our wedding anniversary yesterday
and we worked together that most of that
time and the principles of the Family
Treasury gave us the confidence and the
strength to move my family of five and
our business out of the city up here
into our little corner of paradise in
Georgian Bay and the Family Treasury
meetings have been central to helping
our young family members launch into
their lives my two sons now have their
own
business and it’s thriving they’re
working together and my daughter’s just
graduated from business school and she’s
working with both of the companies
sharing her talents so we’ve become
thanks to the Family Treasury a cohesive
supportive family working
collaboratively to resolve our
challenges and there are lots of those
we’ve become a tribe who shares all our
resources with each other our social our
human and our financial resources and
we’re building true family wealth which
is to us having an abundance of what we
most treasure money’s just something to
support that so I ask you to think about
could the Family Treasury help your
family navigate through this change
maybe experiment with it
hold your first family Treasury
roundtable meeting perhaps bribe the
kids to get them there and think about
what is true family wealth for your
family what does it mean to be a member
of your tribe and instead of worrying
about failure to launch let’s just
journey together
remember that African proverb that says
if you want to go fast go alone but if
you want to go far go together thank you [Applause]
management industry for over thirty
years now and during that time I’ve seen
families build lives for themselves in
an environment that was fairly stable
somewhat predictable certainly
materialistic only to find that now what
worked for them isn’t working so well
for their young folks as they now try to
leave the nest and build lives of their
own so a lot of parents far too many
find that they’re still funding their
young adults long past when they
expected to do so and regardless of how
much money they have whether it be a
little or B a lot they’ve they worry
they worry about failure to launch so
the goal for my talk today is to offer
you a model that I use in my family and
I use with clients that can help every
member of your family thrive especially
the young folks and I thrive I mean
living the lives that they love with
enough resources to support those
choices and this is really important
right now because our young folks are
coming into a world it’s at least in the
developed Western nations that is very
different than the one my generation
came into when we left the nest I think
they have it much harder than we did
just look at Canadian real estate prices
they’ve gone up over 200 percent since
1990 during the same period median
family income has only gone up well less
than 43 percent that trend isn’t just in
Canada either it’s seen in Asia to some
extent and in Europe and in the u.s. now
I remember my generation really having
very little difficulty affording our
first home but for young folks today for
most it’s a pipe dream think about
transportation I remember when I was 21
I could buy a really cool used car for
the same amount
that a 21 year old male in Toronto is
paying just for car insurance and
education the cost of university has
tripled since 1990 and that’s nothing
compared to the cost of food and housing
that’s probably why so many students are
leaving school loaded with student debt
and that’s a bummer because I remember
my generation when we left school we
pretty much just walked right into the
job of our choice it’s not like that for
young folks anymore a survey done by
where Kabbalists in 2014 said that of
those polled 77% were working in fields
unrelated to their education just to
make ends meet so our cost of living is
far outpacing our incomes and that’s
hard on all of us but that’s especially
hard for our young folks who are trying
to get established see the world is
changing so fast it’s hard for us to
keep up right now and I remember my
generation we had really two very clear
paths before us in high school I
remember we chose out of the vocational
route or we chose the academic route we
left college and went into the trades or
we left university went into the
professions but then somewhere along the
lines those paths converged and the goal
became about getting the first car
getting the spouse getting the house
getting the kids and then working the
rest of our lives to pay for the house
and the kids and with a hope to someday
retiring to a pension plan or to a
portfolio and we expect our young people
to also leave the nest and to start that
life cycle all over again that life
cycle that we know and understand but
our young people are coming out into the
world and they’re saying I can’t afford
this they want to be here with us but
they don’t see a clear path as to how to
do that everything is changing before
them economically socially culturally
politically
mentally there is no clear path any
longer so as I said we parents we worry
about failure to launch we want to
empower our young people but we worry
about creating entitled monsters we want
to create independence but we worry
about creating dependence we want to
help but we just don’t know how because
what worked for us isn’t working so well
for them and equally so our young folks
they want to make us proud right they
want to live a self-sustaining life as
well but they just don’t see the path
and for a lot that feels pretty hopeless
so here’s the truth our young people
aren’t going to live the life that we
let there’s no going back but here’s the
good news
most them don’t want to live our life
anyway most of them don’t want to live
the kind of life we led yes they want to
have enough resources to be able to live
life according to their own choices but
they’re just not as materialistic as we
were so what if what if this is actually
a really good thing what if what we’re
seeing is really just growing pains sort
of a foundational evolutionary push
towards a shift away from an economy in
a society that’s individualistic
materialistic competitive towards one
that’s more collaborative inclusive
perhaps sustainable I feel like we’re
seeing a fundamental paradigm shift away
from a society that’s built on like a
pyramid structure where power and
resources are held in the hands of the
few and everyone else sells their time
in exchange for money for perceived
financial security or maybe to buy some
cool stuff towards more of a circular
economy where people have more of an
attitude of self employment and their
work is based upon their values and they
work to preserve the control over
their personal time and their personal
freedom and they share the rewards with
each other our young people aren’t
willing to give away their power anymore
just for money they can’t buy much of
anything with it anyway
some people call these folks Millennials
some say they’re lazy and entitled maybe
some are but I like to think of them as
evolutionary thinkers as true wealth
creators because they’re creating an
abundance of what what we almost
treasure which is having time having
personal freedom and having the
resources to live life according to our
own choices with physical and financial
security so we need our young people to
be successful and this is where you
parents and grandparents come in can you
see that you could lead a transformation
within your family environment to help
strengthen every member of your family
so that they can better adapt and thrive
in this period of change I can’t answer
all of the challenges that your family
would have but I can’t offer you a model
that you can use that I’ve used in my
family and with clients that can help
your family navigate through these
changing times and thrive if you’re
willing to see your family as a
businesslike organization then you can
create the environment where together
you can grow and preserve all of your
resources just like a business would do
and you can grow stronger and more
United in the process you don’t have to
own a business you don’t have to have a
business I just mean be willing to see
your family as a business like
environment I call that environment the
Family Treasury it’s essentially what my
book is about so how can this family
Treasury how can this business like
environment help your family to navigate
through this change well think about
business for a moment business
human and financial wealth nothing more
than an idea about what it can
contribute to its community in exchange
for compensation and then it gathers
around it a group of people a team to
help it manifest that idea and then it
builds policies and procedures to
control risk and manage and adapt
through change we could do that in our
families but we don’t most of us don’t
see our society encourages us to get out
there and make it all on your own right
it’s a badge of honor if you did it all
on your own good for you
we’ve as a result got families who moved
to the beat of their own drum because we
value individualism an individual’s
success more than we do group or
collaborative success so is each of us
family members is moving to the beat of
our own drum it might be a cool rhythm
but we’re completely out of unison with
each other and we end up spinning in
circles can you imagine if a business
did that it wouldn’t last very long it’d
be bankrupt very quickly so we need to
think of our families in a different way
if we’re going to get on the other side
of this world upheaval and this these
economic and social challenges that
we’re facing so think like a business so
what are the foundational building
blocks of the family treasury then using
business as an example well many of you
might know the three P’s that make
business successful purpose plus people
equals profits and they are
interdependent on each other we just use
them by different names in the family
Treasury so we start with as a business
would a clear vision and mission what
business are we in what are we doing
this for
and then the business thinks now I need
a strategic financial plan to help me
reach all the goals and objectives along
the way to manifest that vision we can
do the same thing in our family using
the best practices business use we can
help every member of our family
identify
what is their unique talents what is
their authentic self and then sculpt a
life that allows the expression of that
authentic self those talents because
when we’re expressing our talents we
live a meaningful life as we live a
purposeful life and when we live a
purposeful life we live an inspired life
and that acts like a beacon that acts
like a lighthouse that helps us navigate
through difficult challenging times
through the dark turbulent waters and
just as the business would do we could
create our own personal strategic plan
to help us reach the goals and
objectives along the way to
materializing that mission for ourselves
I call it the family treasury prosperity
plan now also businesses realize they
can’t do this on their own so they build
a kick-ass team of high esteem
professionals that bring their a-game
every day and help to manifest the
vision and businesses support their
teams by fostering financial acumen
conflict resolution skills communication
skills and leadership capabilities
doesn’t your family deserve the same so
lucky for us we can use some of the
tools that businesses use to build our
family teams and help heal some of the
dysfunction that we all have a little
bit of the number one tool is the family
meeting formal family meeting I’m not
talking about the chitchat at the dinner
table that’s where all our patterns and
roles reveal themselves I’m talking
about a formal meeting complete with
meeting minutes agendas and flip charts
the formality of it encourages everyone
to bring their a-game to the meeting
everyone there is equally respected even
if they’re not equal and experienced or
authority power labels are left at the
door cell phones are left at the door
and they work together to overcome their
challenges and to take advantage of
their opportunities
the formal family meeting builds tribes
where every member of the tribe has each
other’s backs so what does what goes on
in these family meetings and by the way
I call them the family Treasury
roundtable well just like your business
would do we educate ourselves we gain
financial acumen and yes that means we
talk about money in our family I know
also we develop the skills that we need
to take advantage of the opportunities
before us you could hold book clubs you
could have speakers you could even just
talk to each other and share experiences
with each other and also just like your
business would do we could bring in
facilitators to help us understand the
unique communication styles of each of
our family members and then learn to
communicate better and a handful handle
conflict more maturely and then just
like a business would do we could borrow
some of those personality profiling
tools at the HR department he has and
help every member of our family
understand their unique talents and then
build a personal mission and vision
around that and just like a business
would we could bring in a coach to help
us create a clear personal path towards
the achievement of our mission and just
like your business would do who often
has a chief financial officer we can get
our own independent financial planner to
help us pilot our resources towards the
achievement of our goals so the family
Treasury has been a very important part
of my family’s life I’ve been married to
my husband for over 31 years actually it
was our wedding anniversary yesterday
and we worked together that most of that
time and the principles of the Family
Treasury gave us the confidence and the
strength to move my family of five and
our business out of the city up here
into our little corner of paradise in
Georgian Bay and the Family Treasury
meetings have been central to helping
our young family members launch into
their lives my two sons now have their
own
business and it’s thriving they’re
working together and my daughter’s just
graduated from business school and she’s
working with both of the companies
sharing her talents so we’ve become
thanks to the Family Treasury a cohesive
supportive family working
collaboratively to resolve our
challenges and there are lots of those
we’ve become a tribe who shares all our
resources with each other our social our
human and our financial resources and
we’re building true family wealth which
is to us having an abundance of what we
most treasure money’s just something to
support that so I ask you to think about
could the Family Treasury help your
family navigate through this change
maybe experiment with it
hold your first family Treasury
roundtable meeting perhaps bribe the
kids to get them there and think about
what is true family wealth for your
family what does it mean to be a member
of your tribe and instead of worrying
about failure to launch let’s just
journey together
remember that African proverb that says
if you want to go fast go alone but if
you want to go far go together thank you [Applause]
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