[Music]
I am here to tell you a story about a
goat I want to introduce you all to a
friend of mine his name is Trevor Trevor
came into my life at a wonderfully
hectic time last year
just between renovating my home and
marrying my beautiful partner he was a
frightened little feral Kashmir with
skinny legs and soulful eyes I took him
Trevor lives at the front of my studio
on the farm I feed him every day and I
talked to him way more than I’m willing
to admit he gets a little taller every
day and I grow a little wider our lives
have become reflections of each other
now I’m not a pet guy at all so I
consider him a friend a meeting of minds
perhaps Trevor is a ruminant he’s a herd
animal so he doesn’t demand affection
like a squirming carnivore like cats and
dogs but if he feels your companionship
then he will reward you with his trevor
does not have any hobbies apart from
eating flowers and anything that drops
in the washing line but he does have a
couple of jobs and he takes these jobs
very very seriously he watches me he
watches everything I do
with the utmost optimism he watches me
coming and going and he always seems to
know exactly where to find me and he
climbs things if it is within his reach
Trevor will climb it elevation is
aspiration for this guy
and if it can be climbed it can be
jumped off there are flashes of
equestrian grace in this little cloud of
fluff other than that he sits around a
lot
he belches surprisingly often and he
likes to sniff things he chews my
shoelaces my pockets my elbows whatever
he can get away with he chased me up the
driveway until his leg got very tired
and he complained loudly we met a soggy
rainbow and he was very pleased I
presented him with a brand new collar
with glow-in-the-dark studs and he was
happy I introduced him to Sunday the
calf he was not happy but they worked it
out eventually
in summer I shampooed him his coat was
shiny blond in autumn
he discovered the leaf pile a wonderful
substance that he could eat sleeping and
poop on all at the same time the
ultimate accessory for a busy goal in
winter he grew extra fluffy so brushed
him out just to keep him feeling silky
in spring he just relaxed but there’s
something that none of these pictures
will show you and that’s the limits of
Trevor’s world you see most of the time
Trevor is tethered by eight meters of
chain to a star picket it’s an
unfortunate necessity for curious goat
on a farm full of things to sniff climb
for eat and if he were to wander too far
he would encounter poisonous plants
stomping horses venomous snakes angry
dogs
or even neighbors with guns the
countryside is not always a friendly
place for a goat without a herd but
there’s this thing that he does no
matter where I put him he always seems
usually as close to me as he can get but
always at the very end he’ll be sitting
there awkwardly tether pulled taut
sniffing chewing pooping his little tail
in the air always at the very end of his
tether after months of this I had to ask
you Trevor
buddy why is it that you are always at
the very end of your tether it looks
super uncomfortable
you’ve got about 200 square meters to
the birds the cows even the frogs seem
to be listening in Trevor side he looked
up at me and said mum I was born yeah
just up the driveway my real mother was
killed by pampered dogs in front of my
eyes and I was enslaved degraded muted
and held alone have lost my language and
I’ve forgotten my customs taken far too
young to keep the memories alive my
world is a length of chain floating on
your whim i watch you waiting to see the
flicker of guilt in your eyes and i
climb things anything to rid my hooves
of this dirt prison even for a moment
after all this time you want to know why
I choose to spend my days at the very
end of this chain I’ll tell you why you
staked me here
robbed of all agency except the will to
find the limits of my world and I found
them I choose to stand here as close to
freedom as I can possibly reach
straining against your Dominion
my neck may be in bondage tries to steal
links to a spike driven deep in the
ground but from here my tail feels the
soft breeze of freedom and whenever I
choose I on your freedom I was
[Applause] [Music]
I am here to tell you a story about a
goat I want to introduce you all to a
friend of mine his name is Trevor Trevor
came into my life at a wonderfully
hectic time last year
just between renovating my home and
marrying my beautiful partner he was a
frightened little feral Kashmir with
skinny legs and soulful eyes I took him
Trevor lives at the front of my studio
on the farm I feed him every day and I
talked to him way more than I’m willing
to admit he gets a little taller every
day and I grow a little wider our lives
have become reflections of each other
now I’m not a pet guy at all so I
consider him a friend a meeting of minds
perhaps Trevor is a ruminant he’s a herd
animal so he doesn’t demand affection
like a squirming carnivore like cats and
dogs but if he feels your companionship
then he will reward you with his trevor
does not have any hobbies apart from
eating flowers and anything that drops
in the washing line but he does have a
couple of jobs and he takes these jobs
very very seriously he watches me he
watches everything I do
with the utmost optimism he watches me
coming and going and he always seems to
know exactly where to find me and he
climbs things if it is within his reach
Trevor will climb it elevation is
aspiration for this guy
and if it can be climbed it can be
jumped off there are flashes of
equestrian grace in this little cloud of
fluff other than that he sits around a
lot
he belches surprisingly often and he
likes to sniff things he chews my
shoelaces my pockets my elbows whatever
he can get away with he chased me up the
driveway until his leg got very tired
and he complained loudly we met a soggy
rainbow and he was very pleased I
presented him with a brand new collar
with glow-in-the-dark studs and he was
happy I introduced him to Sunday the
calf he was not happy but they worked it
out eventually
in summer I shampooed him his coat was
shiny blond in autumn
he discovered the leaf pile a wonderful
substance that he could eat sleeping and
poop on all at the same time the
ultimate accessory for a busy goal in
winter he grew extra fluffy so brushed
him out just to keep him feeling silky
in spring he just relaxed but there’s
something that none of these pictures
will show you and that’s the limits of
Trevor’s world you see most of the time
Trevor is tethered by eight meters of
chain to a star picket it’s an
unfortunate necessity for curious goat
on a farm full of things to sniff climb
for eat and if he were to wander too far
he would encounter poisonous plants
stomping horses venomous snakes angry
dogs
or even neighbors with guns the
countryside is not always a friendly
place for a goat without a herd but
there’s this thing that he does no
matter where I put him he always seems
usually as close to me as he can get but
always at the very end he’ll be sitting
there awkwardly tether pulled taut
sniffing chewing pooping his little tail
in the air always at the very end of his
tether after months of this I had to ask
you Trevor
buddy why is it that you are always at
the very end of your tether it looks
super uncomfortable
you’ve got about 200 square meters to
the birds the cows even the frogs seem
to be listening in Trevor side he looked
up at me and said mum I was born yeah
just up the driveway my real mother was
killed by pampered dogs in front of my
eyes and I was enslaved degraded muted
and held alone have lost my language and
I’ve forgotten my customs taken far too
young to keep the memories alive my
world is a length of chain floating on
your whim i watch you waiting to see the
flicker of guilt in your eyes and i
climb things anything to rid my hooves
of this dirt prison even for a moment
after all this time you want to know why
I choose to spend my days at the very
end of this chain I’ll tell you why you
staked me here
robbed of all agency except the will to
find the limits of my world and I found
them I choose to stand here as close to
freedom as I can possibly reach
straining against your Dominion
my neck may be in bondage tries to steal
links to a spike driven deep in the
ground but from here my tail feels the
soft breeze of freedom and whenever I
choose I on your freedom I was
[Applause] [Music]
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