slamming our hams Salam alaykom TEDx
how’s everybody doing thank you
so I’d like to take a moment to
introduce myself my name is hala plush
candy as you can see right there uh I’m
a linguist I’m a cat lover I’m a poet
and I have chronic depression and I’m
here to talk about it today I know it’s
not the most fun topic to talk about but
I feel like it really needs to have more
of a spotlight on it
especially in our society in our culture
for us for a long time my affliction or
my life-partner
if you will of depression has been a
hindrance in my life I mean oh my god I
could talk so much about depression but
I only have 15 minutes so I’ll give you
the very details of it I’ve been
struggling with depression since before
I even knew what depression was I didn’t
even know there was a word for it until
recently but for so much of my life I
was bogged down by feelings of despair
of hopelessness of inadequacy of simply
just not being good enough I spent so
much of my life being weighed down by my
own sense of self-worth and not knowing
or not being able to tell myself that I
was good enough for anything it was a
really bad time of my life and it’s been
going on for ten years things really hit
low for me I think my rock bottom was a
couple of years ago I was a student at
Princeton University here in Riyadh and
when I first entered college I was like
a shooting star I was brilliant all
right well okay not brilliant but I was
really good I had a 3.7 GPA
I was captain of the debate team I was
president of the drama club and then my
depression started to catch up with me
when something is new and exciting it’s
easier to get excited about it but when
things sort of fall into a routine it’s
so easy for your old friend depression
to come back and just start preying on
your insecurities and so my academic
performance went and I went from being a
brilliant a plus student to somebody
who’s been on academic probation so many
times I don’t even know how many it was
just like oh you’re back on academic
probation again it’s fine
that was my rock bottom and that was
when I started to realize that I had a
real problem and I started to realize
that I needed help so I decided to look
into it I decided to figure out what was
wrong with me what was I doing wrong
what was my problem so I would turn to
the Internet as with anyone my age and I
started looking up my symptoms and then
I found out about this thing called
depression depression is a mental
condition as I’m sure we all know it
affects us by making us feel not sad
it’s very easy to confuse depression
with sadness because they kind of mean
the same thing but being sad is an
emotion it’s a feeling and it comes with
an event something makes you sad a bad
grade makes you sad a fight with your
friend makes you sad but depression is
more than that depression is emptiness
it’s a lack of feeling it’s hopelessness
and despair I feel like a good analogy
for depression is being trapped at the
bottom of a well and literally just no
way up not being able to get yourself
out of that dark place that’s what my
depression felt like for a very long
time
so I started to work on it and when I
found out what was wrong with me
and I figured out what the problem was I
started to be able to work on a solution
so I started reaching out I started
talking to my family to my friends and I
started telling them I have this problem
and to my surprise to my shock I found
out that I wasn’t alone
according to recent census statistics
around 80% of the Saudi population
sorry around 70% of the Saudi population
is under the age of 30 and around 80
percent of Saudi Arabia’s youth
population has experienced symptoms of
clinical depression I am really bad at
math so I’m not even gonna try to guess
how many people that is but I know it’s
a lot it’s a lot of people and those
feelings of despair and hopelessness
that I was struggling with every single
day
about nine times out of ten when I’ve
talked to somebody about feeling
depression their responses me too
I know what you’re talking about I felt
it I’ve been there because of the stigma
that we have we have like this opinion
that there’s something shameful in
Medora I am and I know because I think
we can all relate to this when I’ve told
people without mentioning names that you
know I have depression I’ve heard
reactions like yes this malaria came up
aquiline oh yeah there’s nothing wrong
with you you’re fine
but the thing is depression is a
physical condition as well as a mental
one because it really does debilitate
you it prevents you from living your
life it doesn’t like sometimes I
couldn’t even get out of bed because of
my depression I would be you know lying
in bed at 8 a.m.
I have a class starting in two minutes
and I’m just lying there like ya know
it’s not gonna happen today not getting
out of bed no way but what I don’t
understand is a broken leg for example
we’ll get a cast right you never go up
to somebody who’s walking on crutches
and be like hey can I be your legs not
really broken you’re probably just
imagining it get up you’ll be fine
people don’t want to view depression as
being a serious condition and I find
that extremely unfortunate because it
can be so deeply affecting to so many
people’s lives but I going back to my
earlier point where I mentioned that I
was able to start my road to recovery by
connecting with the people around me
when I started to help people like me
when I started realizing that there was
a problem that needed fixing and I
started to band my friends together I
was able to start on my road to recovery
I mentioned that a couple of years ago I
had hit academic rock bottom I was
struggling so much in school and I was
doing very poorly well I’m happy very
happy to point out that didn’t that
didn’t last for as long as I was worried
that I would if you had told me two
years ago that one day I would be
standing up on a TEDx stage talking
about my depression I would have laughed
so hard that I would have cured my
depression and yet two days ago this
happened
yeah see so yeah that was cool two years
ago I couldn’t even get out of bed to go
to class and there we go depression is
not curable not yet at least and not in
any legal ways that I know about if you
do know anything legal I can do to cure
my depression come see me after the talk
I do want to point out however two
things if you are a person who
experiences symptoms of depression I
promise you it’s not always a permanent
thing things get better there’s always a
way to make things better you don’t have
to live in that dark place forever you
can reach out to people around you who
love you and care about you and want to
see you succeed build up a support
system be honest with your family with
your friends with your loved ones find
somebody you can confide in and open up
to them and if you are one of those
people if somebody that you love comes
to you and tells you that they suffer
from something like depression you can’t
cast them aside you have to be able to
open up to that aspect of their lives
believe me they don’t want to make your
life hard their life is hard to know for
a person with depression they don’t need
to feel guilty about making their family
and friends feel bad as well but in my
little group of friends my squad my
posse of depressed people the number one
thing that we always want people to know
about us is that we do need the help and
we wouldn’t be reaching out if we didn’t
I want to close with some words that one
of my fellow speakers told me to inspire
me before I got up on the stage
a happiness shared is a happiness
doubled and a sadness
shared is a sadness halved I’ve been
Hannah flesh candy thank you so much for
listening have an amazing night you guys
[Applause]
[Music]
how’s everybody doing thank you
so I’d like to take a moment to
introduce myself my name is hala plush
candy as you can see right there uh I’m
a linguist I’m a cat lover I’m a poet
and I have chronic depression and I’m
here to talk about it today I know it’s
not the most fun topic to talk about but
I feel like it really needs to have more
of a spotlight on it
especially in our society in our culture
for us for a long time my affliction or
my life-partner
if you will of depression has been a
hindrance in my life I mean oh my god I
could talk so much about depression but
I only have 15 minutes so I’ll give you
the very details of it I’ve been
struggling with depression since before
I even knew what depression was I didn’t
even know there was a word for it until
recently but for so much of my life I
was bogged down by feelings of despair
of hopelessness of inadequacy of simply
just not being good enough I spent so
much of my life being weighed down by my
own sense of self-worth and not knowing
or not being able to tell myself that I
was good enough for anything it was a
really bad time of my life and it’s been
going on for ten years things really hit
low for me I think my rock bottom was a
couple of years ago I was a student at
Princeton University here in Riyadh and
when I first entered college I was like
a shooting star I was brilliant all
right well okay not brilliant but I was
really good I had a 3.7 GPA
I was captain of the debate team I was
president of the drama club and then my
depression started to catch up with me
when something is new and exciting it’s
easier to get excited about it but when
things sort of fall into a routine it’s
so easy for your old friend depression
to come back and just start preying on
your insecurities and so my academic
performance went and I went from being a
brilliant a plus student to somebody
who’s been on academic probation so many
times I don’t even know how many it was
just like oh you’re back on academic
probation again it’s fine
that was my rock bottom and that was
when I started to realize that I had a
real problem and I started to realize
that I needed help so I decided to look
into it I decided to figure out what was
wrong with me what was I doing wrong
what was my problem so I would turn to
the Internet as with anyone my age and I
started looking up my symptoms and then
I found out about this thing called
depression depression is a mental
condition as I’m sure we all know it
affects us by making us feel not sad
it’s very easy to confuse depression
with sadness because they kind of mean
the same thing but being sad is an
emotion it’s a feeling and it comes with
an event something makes you sad a bad
grade makes you sad a fight with your
friend makes you sad but depression is
more than that depression is emptiness
it’s a lack of feeling it’s hopelessness
and despair I feel like a good analogy
for depression is being trapped at the
bottom of a well and literally just no
way up not being able to get yourself
out of that dark place that’s what my
depression felt like for a very long
time
so I started to work on it and when I
found out what was wrong with me
and I figured out what the problem was I
started to be able to work on a solution
so I started reaching out I started
talking to my family to my friends and I
started telling them I have this problem
and to my surprise to my shock I found
out that I wasn’t alone
according to recent census statistics
around 80% of the Saudi population
sorry around 70% of the Saudi population
is under the age of 30 and around 80
percent of Saudi Arabia’s youth
population has experienced symptoms of
clinical depression I am really bad at
math so I’m not even gonna try to guess
how many people that is but I know it’s
a lot it’s a lot of people and those
feelings of despair and hopelessness
that I was struggling with every single
day
about nine times out of ten when I’ve
talked to somebody about feeling
depression their responses me too
I know what you’re talking about I felt
it I’ve been there because of the stigma
that we have we have like this opinion
that there’s something shameful in
Medora I am and I know because I think
we can all relate to this when I’ve told
people without mentioning names that you
know I have depression I’ve heard
reactions like yes this malaria came up
aquiline oh yeah there’s nothing wrong
with you you’re fine
but the thing is depression is a
physical condition as well as a mental
one because it really does debilitate
you it prevents you from living your
life it doesn’t like sometimes I
couldn’t even get out of bed because of
my depression I would be you know lying
in bed at 8 a.m.
I have a class starting in two minutes
and I’m just lying there like ya know
it’s not gonna happen today not getting
out of bed no way but what I don’t
understand is a broken leg for example
we’ll get a cast right you never go up
to somebody who’s walking on crutches
and be like hey can I be your legs not
really broken you’re probably just
imagining it get up you’ll be fine
people don’t want to view depression as
being a serious condition and I find
that extremely unfortunate because it
can be so deeply affecting to so many
people’s lives but I going back to my
earlier point where I mentioned that I
was able to start my road to recovery by
connecting with the people around me
when I started to help people like me
when I started realizing that there was
a problem that needed fixing and I
started to band my friends together I
was able to start on my road to recovery
I mentioned that a couple of years ago I
had hit academic rock bottom I was
struggling so much in school and I was
doing very poorly well I’m happy very
happy to point out that didn’t that
didn’t last for as long as I was worried
that I would if you had told me two
years ago that one day I would be
standing up on a TEDx stage talking
about my depression I would have laughed
so hard that I would have cured my
depression and yet two days ago this
happened
yeah see so yeah that was cool two years
ago I couldn’t even get out of bed to go
to class and there we go depression is
not curable not yet at least and not in
any legal ways that I know about if you
do know anything legal I can do to cure
my depression come see me after the talk
I do want to point out however two
things if you are a person who
experiences symptoms of depression I
promise you it’s not always a permanent
thing things get better there’s always a
way to make things better you don’t have
to live in that dark place forever you
can reach out to people around you who
love you and care about you and want to
see you succeed build up a support
system be honest with your family with
your friends with your loved ones find
somebody you can confide in and open up
to them and if you are one of those
people if somebody that you love comes
to you and tells you that they suffer
from something like depression you can’t
cast them aside you have to be able to
open up to that aspect of their lives
believe me they don’t want to make your
life hard their life is hard to know for
a person with depression they don’t need
to feel guilty about making their family
and friends feel bad as well but in my
little group of friends my squad my
posse of depressed people the number one
thing that we always want people to know
about us is that we do need the help and
we wouldn’t be reaching out if we didn’t
I want to close with some words that one
of my fellow speakers told me to inspire
me before I got up on the stage
a happiness shared is a happiness
doubled and a sadness
shared is a sadness halved I’ve been
Hannah flesh candy thank you so much for
listening have an amazing night you guys
[Applause]
[Music]
Please follow and like us: