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The Shirtless Man | Abby Larmore | TEDxYouth@Wilmington


like a man be like a man
man up ask yourself what does it mean
when you hear a father it is – his son
is society creating a double standard
for the ideology of men is this meaning
if a boy – something resembling a
stereotypical girl attitude or action
that they are not considered masculine
or manly not do these types of questions
infer a divide in society and a divide
among gender by simple classifying what
is and is not acceptable in certain
aspects of life so in effect this is
prohibiting woman’s ability to continue
striving for equality based upon these
classifications of women think about a
tomboy or a girl a girl all
classifications for a certain ideology
of a gender and these very ideologies
and classifications is what’s causing a
roadblock and women’s continued uphill
battle to achieve Oddie and success and
now there was working at AI do punch
children hospital at the time stream of
my father she was a researcher regarding
child obesity and at this time she was
obtaining a larger salary than my favor
however once she had my sister and I she
decided to quit her job and become a
full-time stay-at-home mom but the
trade-off my mother was not able to
exceed her full potential there’s
something to be said about living in the
moment and taking advantage of that
because so many people aren’t able to my
mother chose a lifestyle to dedicate
every second of every day to better
sister Nuys lives and that is beyond
extraordinary as the only word to
describe it
but there’s also something to be said
about how women have to find this
balance between the professional and
home life on the flip side being someone
like my mother
I can see a missing
I look in her eyes and I see a vacancy
it surprises me to hear her laugh it
looks painful sometimes to see her smile
it hurts it’s sad it hurts me it hurts
my sister and it especially hurts my
father her passion and her drive were
forced to be consolidated due to making
such drastic sacrifices for me and my
family her ability of content and
success is so much more difficult now my
grandmother my grandmother is an
entrepreneur and is still currently a
very successful business owner that has
transformed into the family business
that my father uncle and father are all
a team member of during my father’s I
lessen years
my grandmother was going through a
divorce at the same time for the peak
transformation of the success of her
company
McClure chose the lifestyle to dedicate
her time to have this reassurance of a
successful business for her children
however during my father’s adolescent
years my father had to take time and
bring a to his siblings when his mother
was not present but this is something
that has made my father so admirable in
my eyes now my grandmother was so
successful but she was able to ascend
her three children to attend a private
school in order to education and in
order to go above and beyond the success
that she has already paved the way for
but the trade-off did you find yourself
judging her for having to choose her
work over her children in some
circumstances do you feel she should
have taken other measures for her
children the questions are the issue the
idea that women and men should other
females based upon their attention and
dedication to their children as if men
are not equally responsible we need to
define our own success and ambitions
through our own means if happiness is
found through success then we cannot
lose sight of that now my aunt my aunt
is a teacher and has been a teacher in
Delaware for over 20 years although she
is single she maintains such a close
relationship with her friends and family
every time you see her she lines smile
she makes anyone feel so good about
themselves her genuine love really does
radiate something not often found in
society now I can tell you that my end
of someone who sets standards for
herself and will not lower her
expectations for anything less than she
deserves as honestly no one should have
to your decisions should be made through
the outcome of happiness if you are not
happy then there is no value present and
we must all see that worth in ourselves
we need to own our worth and create our
happiness but the trade-off just because
my aunt did not fit the stereotypical
mode of a woman in society today being
able to create a family on her own is
simply because she has a level of self
confidence and self respect that I feel
every woman should have an own up to but
the truth is hard to swallow that
everyone has a vacancy in their heart
everyone has a that is scarred everyone
has their own forms of insecurities and
vulnerabilities now the holidays can be
a difficult time for families
appreciating one another
pleasing one another and really being
thankful for all you have and I see my
aunt frequently especially around the
holidays and her face looks paler I can
look in her eyes and I see that vacancy
that Institute that vulnerability that
wound that scar you know people we say
no one should have to wake up alone
however I find this so far from the
truth no one or woman should wake up
knowing they’re living an unsuccessful
non influential or unhappy life
we need to refine our success as women
and throw these stereotypes and double
standards and expectations out the
window yes women have a tendency to be
wanted we all want to be wanted but if
you cannot happy with yourself how are
you to be happy with someone else you
can’t now a short story about my father
so one day my mother had a meeting at
school and she couldn’t cook us dinner
now this be one out of two nights that
she hasn’t because my mom is hands down
one of the best cooks that I’ve ever met
so she did what anyone else would do she
gave him a list of instructions to
follow it was a really simple dinner to
keep playing for my dad it was some
chicken rice and broccoli all we needed
was a stove in the oven top and we were
ready to go however it did not go as
planned my father couldn’t figure out
the rice egg or take it out now don’t
get me wrong my father is a pretty
bright guy cooking not his thing we had
to call our family members to walk us
through this process we didn’t even
touch the chicken or broccoli until
later so you can only imagine how that
turned out but heaven forbid something
happened to my mother and she was unable
to provide for my family and I how would
we survive and honestly I don’t think we
will make it a day without her
I mean we’re gonna need rice now there’s
a certain double standard in society
today and it aims at gender inequality
they title it the shirtless man and
basically it describes how women are
allowed how men are allowed to walk
around with no shirts and no shame that
they can other muscles or lack thereof
and this can be a normal occurrence
however women have to be so conscious of
what we wear fear of giving men the
wrong impression because of how we look
fear of being judged because of our
natural figure but there comes to a
point we as women need to stand and say
so what and this comes back to owning
our worth creating our happiness because
without that that self-confidence
that’s soap respect and that ambition
what are we what is the point and there
is none we aim to set standards and not
lower our expectations for anything less
than we deserve we aim to not be judged
by lifestyles we choose based upon
professional or home life we aim to be
valued we aim to be respected we as
women and men need to realize that we
were all looking through the same lens
that women are still on the way up for
equality that is evident that this is a
gradual says that we are overcoming
however we as women need to realize that
we hold all of the power in the world we
were given the ability from God or
science
whichever you believe to create new life
to provide future generations for the
world we were born into by our mothers
women so to all of you women out there
do not be afraid to figuratively take
off your shirt do not be afraid to own
yourself and know your worth I mean put
it this way there would be no you without all of this thank you
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