tradition that every high schooler
Muhsin door health class
I remember health class very well and
there’s one thing that struck me the
most about it
it was our unit on substance abuse I
remembered sitting there in the teacher
lecturing us about how drugs affected
you how your teeth would start rotting
now or how you would go through
withdraws by sat there thinking that’s
only part of the story today I’m going
to tell you the other part of the story
the emotional ripples that substance
abuse causes think of substance abuse as
a rock being thrown into a pond as it
hits the water it creates a ripple
effect small waves that get larger and
larger as they move further away from
the epicenter my story starts four years
ago when my life was simple and there
was no ripples in my pond four years ago
I was a happy twelve-year-old living the
life I had great grades and I loved
going to school and I was a Mersenne
many activities especially in performing
arts I had a mother and father who both
worked an older sister who was a senior
in high school and a younger sister who
smiled would light up the room I was
never really close with my extended
family but my immediate family we did
everything together
one Saturday morning I woke just like
any other Saturday I walked to a dark
room where the blinds plucked out most
of the morning light but that day wasn’t
just an ordinary day my two younger
cousins were coming to visit at the time
this struck me as strange because I’ve
never really seen them outside an
occasional family reunion or the short
glimpses I got when I went to my
grandparents house I mean I would talk
to them but they didn’t even know my
name my mom said that they were staying
for the weekend and we were to make them
feel at home as she said this red flag
started popping up in my head I had so
many questions like why now and what’s
going on
by the time I just kind of let it go but
soon I would learn this would be the day
that would change my life forever
that weekend turned into a week that we
turned into a month and as I reflect on
this time now
I see this is when the ripples were just
beginning small inconveniences and
annoyances like my cousin’s weren’t used
to getting up as early as we were for
school and they frequently made us late
or in the mornings when I would go to
pack my lunch and I will reach my hand
into the chip bag and there were no more
chips I saw you look up on this now
these were just some small things by
this time I could no longer suppress the
questions I had inside and not satisfied
with my parents answers I started
investigating skulking around why they
were having private conversations this
was a point of my adolescence were my
entire world perception changed I
overheard my parents talk about how my
uncle had been arrested I was confused
and in my shelter brain I thought my
family was all above being arrested but
there are all moral people but sadly the
difference between the world I thought I
knew and what it truly was was vastly
different I went through this
rollercoaster of emotions and eventually
I learned the hardest thing I’ve heard
in my life so far my uncle was a drug
addict a heroin junkie I was so
overwhelmed with this juxtaposition
between the world I thought I knew and
my mom started opening up to me and my
older sister telling us the stories of
what truly was going on in our family I
would hear stories of how my cousin’s
would go to bed every night in a bed bug
infested house or I would overhear
conversations they will have with my mom
where they were questioning her saying
there’s not supposed to be bugs in my
hair or when they would roll up their
arms and I would see the cigarette burns
on them I was so angry inside I thought
how could anyone let this happen I could
feel the waves getting larger and larger
around me and I felt like I was being
constantly knocked down with every news
story I heard not even a year later two
weeks before Christmas I welcomed
another Saturday morning but instead of
sunshine waiting for me outside my
window it was the darkness of snow
clouds moving slowly across the horizon
my mom and my sister were talking and I
could tell something was very wrong my
mom called me into my sister’s room
shutting the door and looked at me and
said your uncle died last night I was
shocked and confused but the truly cruel
part of was I didn’t even feel sad I’d
become so used to the constant waves
knocking me down that I didn’t feel
anything anymore knowing Dean I could
ask myself was is this all over but
sadly I was wrong after my uncle’s death
my family fell into Anarchy where my
life had been previously peaceful and
happy the new normal became angry family
members breaking into our house and
yelling on my parents invites over
visitation and custody of my cousins I’d
become scared of what would happen next
fear sadness and anger were all motions
I experienced as ripples moved through
my family
I had become so apprehensive the I would
go through situations in my head where I
would have to kill one of my own family
members in order to protect myself all I
had loved was a mother who soon became
ill and had to leave her job a father
has to work nights just to keep us
afloat an older sister who went off to
college and dreads coming home because
of fights a younger sister whose world
was so scrambled that she shut
everything out threatening suicide two
younger cousins who were scared and me
then 14 year old who stayed same by
throwing himself into extracurricular
activities spending 14 hours a day at
school and I have to say if it wasn’t
for the overwhelming support I got from
my friends and teachers I don’t know
where I would be today my story is
nothing special if you talk to thousands
of other people who have substance abuse
and their families you will hear the
same story – just one way events could
unfold there are people out there that
were more affected than I ever was who
have experienced more devastation in
their lives and we can even fathom
already in 2017 70% of autopsies done by
Montgomery County have been drug
overdoses and in 2015 alone 1,100 deaths
in our area were attributed to heroin we
live in a society where we’re taught
right from wrong not to do this or that
barely do we ever stop and think about
what our actions can do to others
addiction has affected every aspect of
my life and I wasn’t even the user so I
want you and every person in this world
to think to yourselves is what are my
thoughts affecting who are my words and
actions affecting and who are you truly
affecting in your lives thank you [Applause]