[Applause]
about different things before heading
off to college and usually these things
include one’s life one’s identity future
plans and success when I first pictured
myself going off to college I saw a
successful girl who had her life all
figured out
knew who she wanted to be knew where she
wanted to go I just had this idea that
everything would fall into place looking
back on my freshman year I realized that
I searched for answers that questions
that students commonly asked you see I
was asking things like Who am I who do I
want to be what do I want to do where do
I want to go and most importantly how do
I get there but instead of discovering
the answers to these questions right off
the bat I came head to head with life
and realized that the way I was living
was not on a path to success I felt the
need to fit in I felt the need to
oversell myself to those around me tried
really hard to be successful at things I
wasn’t even interested in I felt the
pressure to have this picture-perfect
life perfect boyfriend and perfect
grades but you see the term success has
really changed for me over the last two
years to me success is living out your
dreams pursuing lofty goals and
conquering life’s challenges all while
being yourself by time I had completed
my freshman year I had a picture-perfect
feed on Instagram had a boyfriend had
great grades and great friends but what
I was missing was myself I wasn’t truly
being myself while trying to attain
these things which left me unsatisfied
disappointed and confused as to who I
really was at the time every college
student
we’ll go through some sort of identity
crisis at some point in their college
career something I like to call a
quarter life crisis and it’s a student
is lucky this crisis won’t occur when
they’re on their parents couch eating
Cheetos at the age of 32
so when I was in school I really
realized that students my age and even
younger struggled with his concept of
identity and it inspired me to bring a
program to Troy that specifically sought
to teach women about their identity and
their worth and I’ll touch on that a
little bit more in a minute but this
identity issue is something that we’re
facing today and we’re struggling with
and we will for years to come
we live in a world that offers more ways
than ever before to promote ourselves to
showcase our talents to show off and to
be successful and yet more people than
ever feel discouraged inadequate
unqualified not good enough and quite
frankly lost in the quest of being who
they really are especially in today’s
generation with social media we are more
swayed than ever before to ditch who we
are and what we believe in only to be
like everyone else so I guess the real
question is how do I maintain my
identity in college I hope the next four
points that we discussed together will
help point you in the right direction so
diving right in number one be authentic
on my first date with a guy named Taylor
Langston I made a promise to myself well
okay we’re just gonna rewind for a
second
and there we go I made a promise to
myself this night on this first date
that I was going to be completely
authentic with him okay by this time I
had dated a couple people changed things
about myself you know just to make them
like me more to make them happy which
eventually led to a breakup because I
was not truly being me and no one can
live happily that way so like I said I
was making a promise to myself to be
totally authentic with him even if that
meant I didn’t get a second date
choosing to be me even if that’s not who
he wanted not who he liked and yes I
even meant eating a big plate of pasta
for dinner and ordering dessert
afterwards so what is the point of
sharing this story everyone wants to be
accepted everyone wants to be liked
social media and the screens that we
surround ourselves with make it really
easy to hide behind a front to put on
our masks and pretend that we are
someone or something that we’re not
we’re obsessed with creating and posting
images to make it seem like we have a
picture-perfect life when altum Utley
what we’re creating is a false reality
and a false identity and the true
reality is that we’re creating a
standard that we can’t live up to
there’s a quote that says be yourself
everyone else is already taken and
that’s my Oscar Wilde turns out that
date I went on with Taylor was the best
date I have ever been on and I guess
it’s safe to say I got a second date now
that we’re married
I am totally 100% glad that I chose to
be authentic with Taylor from day one
live an authentic life by being
inauthentic you and that leads me into a
point to know your worth early on in my
career here at Troy I’ve realized and
recognized a great need to teach women
and specific about their worth their
identity and their self-confidence I
dreamt of a big event that would gather
women of all ages together to celebrate
that their identity first comes from
within and then shines outwardly I had
the opportunity and the privilege of
carrying out this event
all tiaras here on Troy’s campus for
three years and I also had the
opportunity and the privilege of
witnessing young girls college girls and
even adult women discovering and seeing
their worth as valuable for the very
first time you see the impact that this
event how these women was huge because
it challenged the standard or the lies
that our society feeds us tells us who
we are and who we have to be or else
we’re not good enough
this event rewrote and replace those
lies with truth truth that those women
have value and worth that can never be
taken away from them we all have
different things that we believe give us
value or worth but what if I were to
tell you that what he thinks of you
doesn’t define you that black miniskirt
doesn’t define you how many beers you
can drink in one night doesn’t define
you how many followers you have on
Instagram doesn’t define you
worth is knowing that your valuable
worth is believing that you are valuable
and that brings us into 0.3 embrace the
unknown as we all know life has a way of
catching this off guard taking us by
surprise
things come our way we could have never
expected doors open we would have never
imagined and they close to life has a
way of being mysterious in that sense
maybe for you and your life it looks a
little something like this right now not
knowing what job you’re gonna have one
day not knowing who you’re gonna marry
not knowing how to get somewhere without
a GPS not knowing how to build something
without instructions not knowing what
major is right for you
not knowing what life holds for you
sounds like a lot of not knowing an
experience I had early on when dating
Taylor really had me rethink this this
topic you see my husband Taylor knows
that I love surprises
love surprises love everything to do
with them planning
scheming them helping with them
celebrating them you name it
I love surprises except when I’m the
only one who doesn’t know what the
surprise is anyone else in here okay it
drives you crazy and so every once in a
while he would say something along the
lines of so I may know about a surprise
it may involve you but I can’t tell you
what it is great thank you so much
you’ve just made my life so much more
simple because now I’m going crazy
trying to figure out what the surprise
is
I’m pestering him to see if he’ll give
me a hint cornering my friends to see if
they’ll give me any sort of lead or
snooping around myself just to try and
find some sort of answer I know I sound
crazy so it’s like I said I’m trying to
find some sort of answer this example
being just one of many in life I
oftentimes find myself trying to find
the answers
searching for answers but here’s the
good news
we don’t have to have all the answers
life makes it very clear that we can’t
and we won’t
especially in college you don’t have to
have your life figured out there’s a
quote that says sometimes searching for
answers only leads to more questions
diving back into the surprise story for
a minute I can honestly say that every
time I waited to see what Taylor had
planned as a surprise instead of knowing
upfront what it was way better turned
out way better than I could have
imagined because you see he had the joy
of surprising me and I had the joy of
being surprised not knowing the answer
sometimes can be a really good thing it
can be challenging but it could be a
really great thing just remember you
don’t have to have the answer to take
the next step you just have to live in
the present and that brings me straight
into a point for live present
anyone in here remember waking up on
Christmas morning really excited to just
race out to the tree and see what
presents were waiting there tear open
that wrapping paper and see what was
waiting for you
any hands yes so this Christmas this
picture is a picture of my brother and I
my little brother and I and we were so
excited because the gift that we were
anxiously waiting that Christmas was our
baby sister so but what if I told you
that this Christmas we’re not gonna open
the gifts we’re gonna leave them sitting
under the tree we’re not gonna touch
them open them nothing we’re just gonna
sit and stare at them all year long it’s
anyone else think that sounds like a
complete waste of a gift because it does
to me but see that’s the point life is a
gift and it’s really important that we
utilize the gift that we’re given into
here and then now to live in the present
my Nana made a very clear rule that
there would be no texting at the dinner
table this sound familiar to anyone so
you better believe that even if your
phone is about two feet away from the
dinner table and you’re just kind of
eyeing it she is going to call you out
on it in a nice way of course but you
see I’m sure she realized why don’t she
established this rule that’s a key to
this was living in the present being
present with those that we care about
not missing out on conversation or
relationship but rather and join time to
bond and be with those in the here and
the now believe it or not this is very
important we live in a world that is so
fast-paced and it could be really easy
to miss out on the opportunity that
we’ve been given we’re given
opportunities and yet some of us are too
busy or too consumed with our phones or
our problems that we miss an opportunity
altogether we miss that chance that
conversation that person in a world that
is so fast-paced in a world that is
always changing in a world that is
constantly chasing the newest best
hottest trend yes things it’s important
that we live in the present be present
with your intentions be present with
people
be present with those that you love be
present with where you are in your life
right now and yes that even means being
present in class but I will leave that
up to you all of this to say life is
passing very quickly you’re not gonna be
in college forever you’re not gonna have
that professor forever you’re not gonna
have this time in your life forever so
don’t miss the moment because you have
purpose and where you are right now even
out of school I can honestly say that
these four points are something that I
really wished I had fully lived out and
carried out in my college career but
whether you’re leaving things in the
past or working towards a goal in the
future you have purpose in the present
so a quick review of these four points
number one be authentic live in
authentic life by being an authentic you
to know your Worth worth is knowing that
your valuable worth is believing that
you are valuable three embrace the
unknown you don’t have to have the
answer to take the next step and for
live presents because you have purpose
in the present that girl I originally
saw going to college that girl was me
but I didn’t know how to be authentic I
didn’t know how to show my worth I
didn’t have all the answers and I didn’t
know how to live in the present because
I was constantly worrying about my
future if this is you let me reassure
you from someone who has been in your
place
don’t miss the purpose that you have
with where you are in your life right
now these are things that I wish like I
said I had fully carried out and lived
out in college but I can say that I’m
currently carrying them out in my life
today so I hope that they can be
beneficial to you no matter where you
are in life student parent working
professional retired
I hope these gonna be beneficial to you
you and I may not have the same story or
the same interests but just remember
your identity starts with you thank you
[Applause]
about different things before heading
off to college and usually these things
include one’s life one’s identity future
plans and success when I first pictured
myself going off to college I saw a
successful girl who had her life all
figured out
knew who she wanted to be knew where she
wanted to go I just had this idea that
everything would fall into place looking
back on my freshman year I realized that
I searched for answers that questions
that students commonly asked you see I
was asking things like Who am I who do I
want to be what do I want to do where do
I want to go and most importantly how do
I get there but instead of discovering
the answers to these questions right off
the bat I came head to head with life
and realized that the way I was living
was not on a path to success I felt the
need to fit in I felt the need to
oversell myself to those around me tried
really hard to be successful at things I
wasn’t even interested in I felt the
pressure to have this picture-perfect
life perfect boyfriend and perfect
grades but you see the term success has
really changed for me over the last two
years to me success is living out your
dreams pursuing lofty goals and
conquering life’s challenges all while
being yourself by time I had completed
my freshman year I had a picture-perfect
feed on Instagram had a boyfriend had
great grades and great friends but what
I was missing was myself I wasn’t truly
being myself while trying to attain
these things which left me unsatisfied
disappointed and confused as to who I
really was at the time every college
student
we’ll go through some sort of identity
crisis at some point in their college
career something I like to call a
quarter life crisis and it’s a student
is lucky this crisis won’t occur when
they’re on their parents couch eating
Cheetos at the age of 32
so when I was in school I really
realized that students my age and even
younger struggled with his concept of
identity and it inspired me to bring a
program to Troy that specifically sought
to teach women about their identity and
their worth and I’ll touch on that a
little bit more in a minute but this
identity issue is something that we’re
facing today and we’re struggling with
and we will for years to come
we live in a world that offers more ways
than ever before to promote ourselves to
showcase our talents to show off and to
be successful and yet more people than
ever feel discouraged inadequate
unqualified not good enough and quite
frankly lost in the quest of being who
they really are especially in today’s
generation with social media we are more
swayed than ever before to ditch who we
are and what we believe in only to be
like everyone else so I guess the real
question is how do I maintain my
identity in college I hope the next four
points that we discussed together will
help point you in the right direction so
diving right in number one be authentic
on my first date with a guy named Taylor
Langston I made a promise to myself well
okay we’re just gonna rewind for a
second
and there we go I made a promise to
myself this night on this first date
that I was going to be completely
authentic with him okay by this time I
had dated a couple people changed things
about myself you know just to make them
like me more to make them happy which
eventually led to a breakup because I
was not truly being me and no one can
live happily that way so like I said I
was making a promise to myself to be
totally authentic with him even if that
meant I didn’t get a second date
choosing to be me even if that’s not who
he wanted not who he liked and yes I
even meant eating a big plate of pasta
for dinner and ordering dessert
afterwards so what is the point of
sharing this story everyone wants to be
accepted everyone wants to be liked
social media and the screens that we
surround ourselves with make it really
easy to hide behind a front to put on
our masks and pretend that we are
someone or something that we’re not
we’re obsessed with creating and posting
images to make it seem like we have a
picture-perfect life when altum Utley
what we’re creating is a false reality
and a false identity and the true
reality is that we’re creating a
standard that we can’t live up to
there’s a quote that says be yourself
everyone else is already taken and
that’s my Oscar Wilde turns out that
date I went on with Taylor was the best
date I have ever been on and I guess
it’s safe to say I got a second date now
that we’re married
I am totally 100% glad that I chose to
be authentic with Taylor from day one
live an authentic life by being
inauthentic you and that leads me into a
point to know your worth early on in my
career here at Troy I’ve realized and
recognized a great need to teach women
and specific about their worth their
identity and their self-confidence I
dreamt of a big event that would gather
women of all ages together to celebrate
that their identity first comes from
within and then shines outwardly I had
the opportunity and the privilege of
carrying out this event
all tiaras here on Troy’s campus for
three years and I also had the
opportunity and the privilege of
witnessing young girls college girls and
even adult women discovering and seeing
their worth as valuable for the very
first time you see the impact that this
event how these women was huge because
it challenged the standard or the lies
that our society feeds us tells us who
we are and who we have to be or else
we’re not good enough
this event rewrote and replace those
lies with truth truth that those women
have value and worth that can never be
taken away from them we all have
different things that we believe give us
value or worth but what if I were to
tell you that what he thinks of you
doesn’t define you that black miniskirt
doesn’t define you how many beers you
can drink in one night doesn’t define
you how many followers you have on
Instagram doesn’t define you
worth is knowing that your valuable
worth is believing that you are valuable
and that brings us into 0.3 embrace the
unknown as we all know life has a way of
catching this off guard taking us by
surprise
things come our way we could have never
expected doors open we would have never
imagined and they close to life has a
way of being mysterious in that sense
maybe for you and your life it looks a
little something like this right now not
knowing what job you’re gonna have one
day not knowing who you’re gonna marry
not knowing how to get somewhere without
a GPS not knowing how to build something
without instructions not knowing what
major is right for you
not knowing what life holds for you
sounds like a lot of not knowing an
experience I had early on when dating
Taylor really had me rethink this this
topic you see my husband Taylor knows
that I love surprises
love surprises love everything to do
with them planning
scheming them helping with them
celebrating them you name it
I love surprises except when I’m the
only one who doesn’t know what the
surprise is anyone else in here okay it
drives you crazy and so every once in a
while he would say something along the
lines of so I may know about a surprise
it may involve you but I can’t tell you
what it is great thank you so much
you’ve just made my life so much more
simple because now I’m going crazy
trying to figure out what the surprise
is
I’m pestering him to see if he’ll give
me a hint cornering my friends to see if
they’ll give me any sort of lead or
snooping around myself just to try and
find some sort of answer I know I sound
crazy so it’s like I said I’m trying to
find some sort of answer this example
being just one of many in life I
oftentimes find myself trying to find
the answers
searching for answers but here’s the
good news
we don’t have to have all the answers
life makes it very clear that we can’t
and we won’t
especially in college you don’t have to
have your life figured out there’s a
quote that says sometimes searching for
answers only leads to more questions
diving back into the surprise story for
a minute I can honestly say that every
time I waited to see what Taylor had
planned as a surprise instead of knowing
upfront what it was way better turned
out way better than I could have
imagined because you see he had the joy
of surprising me and I had the joy of
being surprised not knowing the answer
sometimes can be a really good thing it
can be challenging but it could be a
really great thing just remember you
don’t have to have the answer to take
the next step you just have to live in
the present and that brings me straight
into a point for live present
anyone in here remember waking up on
Christmas morning really excited to just
race out to the tree and see what
presents were waiting there tear open
that wrapping paper and see what was
waiting for you
any hands yes so this Christmas this
picture is a picture of my brother and I
my little brother and I and we were so
excited because the gift that we were
anxiously waiting that Christmas was our
baby sister so but what if I told you
that this Christmas we’re not gonna open
the gifts we’re gonna leave them sitting
under the tree we’re not gonna touch
them open them nothing we’re just gonna
sit and stare at them all year long it’s
anyone else think that sounds like a
complete waste of a gift because it does
to me but see that’s the point life is a
gift and it’s really important that we
utilize the gift that we’re given into
here and then now to live in the present
my Nana made a very clear rule that
there would be no texting at the dinner
table this sound familiar to anyone so
you better believe that even if your
phone is about two feet away from the
dinner table and you’re just kind of
eyeing it she is going to call you out
on it in a nice way of course but you
see I’m sure she realized why don’t she
established this rule that’s a key to
this was living in the present being
present with those that we care about
not missing out on conversation or
relationship but rather and join time to
bond and be with those in the here and
the now believe it or not this is very
important we live in a world that is so
fast-paced and it could be really easy
to miss out on the opportunity that
we’ve been given we’re given
opportunities and yet some of us are too
busy or too consumed with our phones or
our problems that we miss an opportunity
altogether we miss that chance that
conversation that person in a world that
is so fast-paced in a world that is
always changing in a world that is
constantly chasing the newest best
hottest trend yes things it’s important
that we live in the present be present
with your intentions be present with
people
be present with those that you love be
present with where you are in your life
right now and yes that even means being
present in class but I will leave that
up to you all of this to say life is
passing very quickly you’re not gonna be
in college forever you’re not gonna have
that professor forever you’re not gonna
have this time in your life forever so
don’t miss the moment because you have
purpose and where you are right now even
out of school I can honestly say that
these four points are something that I
really wished I had fully lived out and
carried out in my college career but
whether you’re leaving things in the
past or working towards a goal in the
future you have purpose in the present
so a quick review of these four points
number one be authentic live in
authentic life by being an authentic you
to know your Worth worth is knowing that
your valuable worth is believing that
you are valuable three embrace the
unknown you don’t have to have the
answer to take the next step and for
live presents because you have purpose
in the present that girl I originally
saw going to college that girl was me
but I didn’t know how to be authentic I
didn’t know how to show my worth I
didn’t have all the answers and I didn’t
know how to live in the present because
I was constantly worrying about my
future if this is you let me reassure
you from someone who has been in your
place
don’t miss the purpose that you have
with where you are in your life right
now these are things that I wish like I
said I had fully carried out and lived
out in college but I can say that I’m
currently carrying them out in my life
today so I hope that they can be
beneficial to you no matter where you
are in life student parent working
professional retired
I hope these gonna be beneficial to you
you and I may not have the same story or
the same interests but just remember
your identity starts with you thank you
[Applause]
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