normal but personally I kind of believe
that normal is boring so let’s take a
look at the opposite side of the
spectrum what is different specifically
what I believe makes someone stand out
from the crowd now I’m aware that each
and every one of you thinks that you’re
different in your own special way and
that’s wonderful I have nothing against
that but today the type of distinction
I’m talking about is that single trait
possessed by all great leaders that acts
as a navigator through any obstruction
put before them that voice in their
heads that tells them that what they’re
doing is right even when the whole world
may say that it’s wrong so in order to
find the single worldwide Universal
answer
I began by comparing myself to the
people whom I considered possess this
trait the people who I thought were
different I asked myself the question
what makes me different than them
initially I answered by saying things
like inherent talent money legacy or
even luck but then I realized that that
wasn’t the answer I realized that from a
standpoint of mentality I was actually
no different than these people I
realized that in terms of ambition and
aspiration I was actually quite similar
to these people and that’s how I found
my answer I believe that distinction
lies in one’s perspective toward oneself
I call this ID ID lism now I’d like to
begin by asking you a question ask
yourself the question do I believe in
myself although it seems simple enough
it’s something most people fail to
answer accurately chances are you
shrugged and said well yeah of course I
believe in myself but think again I’ve
realized that most people don’t rely on
their own self belief and opinion when
it comes to decision making this may be
hard to accept but it’s the truth
you look up to your friends family and
the society take place in to define what
you can and cannot do because of this
you limit yourself to what you’re good
at and dismiss everything else that you
might be bad at and because of this you
have basically become a part of the
society you rely on other people’s
approval to compliment your own
accomplishments and therefore solidify
your sense of fitting into society but
by doing so we have created a society
full of realists and don’t get me wrong
I’m not necessarily saying that being a
realist is a bad thing I’m just saying
that being a realist is not what got me
here today see I’m a genuine idealist or
at least what I define as idealism I
firmly believe that I can do anything I
try as long as I give it my very all I
can become Hollywood’s next big movie
star
paint the next Mona Lisa or become the
next big name in science I’m confident
in my abilities and I’m sure that I can
steer myself past any obstacle in my way
but although this mentalities got me
significantly far in life don’t be
fooled it didn’t just come to me which
brings me to my story and ultimately how
I ended up here six years ago
I was living a completely different life
I lived in the Silicon Valley with my
mother father and newly born sister I
had this routine that consisted of
getting up going to school hanging out
with friends and then going back home
and I didn’t really do much other than
that but honestly what more could a
12-year old one in short life was
phenomenal I was a healthy fifth grader
with exceptional grades and outstanding
social circle and most importantly a
happy home then one day everything
changed while my father was out on a
business trip my mother and I decided to
go and get some Thai food there I had a
great time eating talking and laughing
but then all of a sudden out
my mother’s gaze turned blank the room
went silent and I was left there
confused as to what was going on little
did I know that my mother was preparing
herself to load my twelve-year-old self
with a 10-ton slab of information
information that would change my life
she told me that my father had received
this huge new job offer that would allow
us to live under much better
circumstances than we already were she
told me we would be eating better food
living in a bigger house and driving a
faster car and of course I was happy to
hear all this why wouldn’t I be but then
came the catch this wonderful utopic job
was located halfway across the world in
the city of Istanbul I was shocked I
didn’t know how to respond I was
literally left speechless I didn’t know
how to react to such information but I
knew that I didn’t like it all the
people in places that I had come to love
over the past 12 years were suddenly
ripped apart from me and this all
happened in a matter of seconds then
about a week passes or a month I’m not
sure it’s blurry but I’m trying to
recuperate and get back on my feet and I
remember so vividly that I was watching
this movie well my parents invited me to
the kitchen and told me to sit at the
table upon sitting down I looked up once
again to see blank gazes staring back at
me so I knew this wasn’t going to be a
good conversation I thought what could
it be this time what could make things
even worse than they already are my mom
let out this big sigh she told me that
her and my father were getting a divorce
and that’s how the final pillar of my
life came crashing down I had no idea
what to do and who to turn to
I was literally left hopeless sir with
no clue in the following months I
pack my bags and before moving to
Istanbul any time at school was spent
crying any time with friends was spent
mourning and I didn’t even want to talk
to my family anymore after all that as I
said I packed my bags and I got up and
moved to Istanbul where I had a new
language culture and society to adapt to
I had no idea how and I was basically
alienated in a new world
I was not normal so upon moving to
Istanbul my grades plummeted as I
struggled to learn Turkish at school I
was bullied for being supposedly stupid
and ugly and the general gravity of the
whole situation had gotten caused me to
gain an excessive amount of weight like
I’m talking 100 kilos and it was a bad
time at first I succeeded in ignoring my
classmates comments about myself but
after some time I actually began to
acknowledge the things they were saying
to me sooner or later the meaning of
words of my classmates my colleagues had
got me to stop and think well what if
you are stupid and ugly and before you
knew it I found myself struggling to
complete even the most simplest of tasks
it goes to show you how powerful your
perspective on yourself can be what you
think of yourself is what others will
think of you – and the second that you
begin to doubt yourself the second that
you begin to question your abilities you
basically become anything and everything
that people define you as and the
negative aspect of it is that people
won’t generally define you in the most
positive light that’s just how things
work I’m sorry but people will bring you
down in order to bring themselves higher
up anyways on with my story for years
past in Istanbul and basically nothing
changed I still had my problems and they
weren’t going anywhere but the only
thing that I changed during that period
of time is that I’d come to accept other
people’s opinions on myself as my own i
define myself as a fat stupid and ugly
child then one day one night sorry I
couldn’t sleep so I grabbed this book
that my dad had given me ages before and
began reading purely out of boredom in
this book the author proposed proposed
the thesis that I the fat overweight and
ugly child was no different then the
people I considered successful area and
the author proposed that a simple change
in mentality could allow me to obtain
the same level of supremacy and success
as these people what a bargain for a
book that caused like 10 bucks right so
from my experience reading this book I
summarized its main thesis to three
simple steps step number one you can
achieve the unachievable set a goal for
yourself and make sure that goal is high
aim beyond what you’re capable of and
disregard for where your abilities end
it doesn’t matter what other people
think of your abilities what matters is
your own perspective imagine this
imagine a room full of people and you’re
walking into that room when walking into
said room if you believe you are the
most intelligent or comedic or handsome
person there that’s how people will
treat you so what I did upon learning
this is I went straight to the bathroom
and I kid you not I looked at myself in
the mirror for about 10 minutes just
searching for something positive about
myself that I genuinely believed in
something that I could boast about when
walking into said room so after a couple
minutes passed I realized that I was
actually not that ugly at least to the
extent that people told me I was so I
just stood there for the next couple
minutes just motivating myself that I
was a decent looking human being and to
my surprise the next day at school and
the following weeks after that the
negative names associated with my
appearance
gradually began to fade which brings me
to step two
it’s all your fault if you have even the
slightest involvement in any kind of
problem there is no one to blame but
yourself in order to Harbor progression
you must assume complete utter
responsibility over any problem that you
have power over if you have a problem
identify it go to the mirror again look
at yourself and say it’s all my fault
every single bit of it the reason for
this is because if you accept total
responsibility over a problem you are in
a position to do something about it
you cannot fix a problem that isn’t
yours so what I did is I did exactly
that I went to the mirror and identified
my problems I said my weight and poor
health is a result of my unhealthy
eating habits in a technology addiction
my failing grades were a consequence of
my procrastination and my dying social
life was a result of my social anxiety
which brings me to step 3 do something
about it take it upon yourself to fix
the problems in your life rather than
living a life in their Shetty living
your life in their shadows you can
basically do anything the only thing
stopping you is yourself so I did once
again exactly that I adopted healthy
eating habits and joined a basketball
team to counter my weight and therefore
end my health problem I develop studying
routines and devoted myself to my
academics in order to overcome my
procrastination and I made a friend out
of everyone and anyone I could expanding
my social reach to the farthest point I
could and therefore ending all my
problems so in result in summary I saw
that my best efforts conclusively
brought resolutions to all my problems
and suddenly my sadness became fuel to
my confidence and joy see I genuinely
believe I can do anything and I believe
that this is what separates me from most
people I can do anything I try as long
as I give it my very best if I were to
continue to live life within the
approval the range of approval of others
and what others thought I could
I probably wouldn’t be here right be
here right now giving you this talk
instead I’d probably be at home
sitting on the couch eating Doritos and
playing World of Warcraft’s on my
computer but I’m not I’m on a stage
doing a TED talk and I won’t stop there
either
there’s nothing stopping me from
becoming an astronaut of philosopher
rock star doctor and that’s not
something most people can say to me it’s
simply a matter of what I really want to
do in life and don’t get me wrong this
isn’t just me standing on stage boasting
myself that oh I’m different and you’re
not this is me showing you that you can
do the same thing all you have to do is
believe in yourself
thank you [Applause]