[Applause]
Travis you will be a great camp
counselor on a warm summer afternoon in
1984 my camp counselor said to me eight
words that would changed my life he said
to me Travis
you will be a great camp counselor up
until that point I didn’t feel like I
belong in lots of places I was a nerdy
kid growing up in a village where they
celebrated baseball players and hockey
jocks and my family still talks about
how I would walk to the school bus
reading one book and walk home from the
school bus reading another book yet
somehow my camp counselor saw something
different in me I know that I had it
lucky because I had a very supportive
family but like many kids I was bullied
on that school bus and I was bullied at
school yet
Ian McLean my camp counselor Ian MacLean
my camp counselor saw something
different in me he invested five seconds
in me that changed my life so on that
afternoon we got out of lunch at camp
went back to our cabin and he asked to
speak to me outside to the tribes can I
speak to you outside
we went in stood by the picnic table
asked me to sit down I thought I was in
big trouble
something had gone on that I couldn’t
quite figure out but that I was in big
trouble yet i sat down and if that
preamble he just said to me Travis you
will be a great camp counselor because
of that moment that set me on a path to
this moment and this stage five seconds
of his life put me here today now
because of what he did I found my higher
purpose in life I believe that my
purpose is very closely tied with a
higher purpose of summer camp and that
is to provide a place a community
where kids can be recognized and
acknowledged for their individual
talents and we can help adults find them
all at the time to create that moment
with those kids it’s so I’ve here today
to ask you to help me make that the
higher purpose of every single community
that we find the time to recognize and
acknowledge kids for the things that
make them special now kids are often
lumped into groups we put them into
groups so they might be one of mrs.
shields third grade class or there might
be a nerd or a jock or there might be
the pretty one in the family they might
be the kid with a funny accent or the
queer kid or the kid who lives there
grandma because they don’t have a mom
and dad but if we take a moment and
acknowledge and appreciate them we give
them a place where they belong now I
believe that this has happened for most
people in this room so what I’d like you
to do is take a second and think about
your person the person who stopped there
most likely not your parent the person
who stopped and said something to
encourage you when you’re a young the
person who noticed the thing that you’re
passionate about picture that person in
your mind your person and my person did
something that I call the power of one
oh there’s some really interesting
research coming out of the Centers of
the developing child at Harvard
University from Flinders University in
Australia and from a 12,000 child study
done in the country of Ireland that’s
those studies all show that if we invest
just a small moment of our time I’ll
develop a relationship with just one
child that child’s life can be changed
in Ireland they’ve taken that research
and they’ve created a program called one
good adult because the research clearly
shows if we have if you’re a child at
risk risk of drugs dropping out of
school bad relationships making poor
choices all you need is one good adult
in your life to change that
so this research shows that if a child
has someone who invests in them takes
just a moment as I said for me
it happened at a great moment and it was
five seconds invest in that child what
happens is that they have much higher
self-esteem this is a child who can
stand up for his or her self this is a
child who wins she tests great at a
dance recital will actually accept the
praise that she’s given these kids also
have much better they make better
choices in the world they’re much more
confident so this is a kid who will
raise their hand and say I don’t
understand what’s going on I don’t
understand you’re trying that thing that
you’re trying to teach me there’ll be
the person who then can stand in front
of a bully who’s picking on a friend
they also have much better mental
toughness so these are kids who can try
something learn from it try again fail
learn try fail until they eventually
succeed and that mental toughness can
carry through for the rest of their life
they also know that they belong and that
sense of belonging as I said was
something incredibly important to me as
a child because I didn’t have it in my
home community I found it at summer camp
so we can’t develop these relationships
and develop the things that happen with
these kids and help them fit in give
them a place so I was lucky enough when
I was fifteen years old to have another
critical moment something that happened
to me exactly when I needed it my
mother’s friends Marion Crawford was our
hairdresser growing up and like many of
my mother’s friends we had a great
relationship it was cordial it was
polite except one afternoon a Friday
afternoon I know it was a Friday because
it was my very first high school dance I
sat down in Marion’s chair she put the
drape around me she pulled up the
scissors she looked at me in the mirror
and she said Travis let’s try something
really different
Marion saw me as someone different than
I saw myself
she changed the way I saw myself it
matters little that Marion and I spent
the next five years doing every crazy
color cut whatever we could come up with
to do different it matters most that she
saw me as a kid who could be creative
and would love to express that she saw
me as someone who would love to express
the kind of music they liked by would
the way they were their hair Marion saw
me and told me in that moment that she
saw me as a very creative kid who could
and would love to express themselves now
when I was older I was a volunteer
firefighter for seven years as part of
that I learned of being part of the
firefighter culture I learned about
challenged coins so I believe that
there’s power of one moment is power one
moments that we share with kids are
incredibly important really it’s the
essence of my talk but I think it can
also help adults as well a challenge
coins are one of these things that
really clued me into how that was
possible so a challenge coin is a token
custom-made that shows you’re part of a
group so it’s almost often a coin that
you can carry around with you they’re
made for military regiments for
emergency services personnel now there
are some clubs and other school
organizations that are doing challenge
coins as well charge quites have an
amazing culture around them it’s a true
symbol of belonging and their custom
just to your unit your group your club
shows that you belong but the power of
one that happens with challenge coins is
when they are passed off to someone
who’s not part of your group they’re
given on to someone I love it because
they’re given in a secret handshake you
tuck your coin into your hand and then
shake that person’s hand to hand it off
to them so that person is sort of
surprised by that one what is this and
they take a look at it that allows
someone who may be of higher rank who
may be of greater social stature in
those organizations that are not
touchy-feely and in fact we’re
individuality is often discouraged it
allows that person to say I recognize
you I think you your contribution is
important
what you’ve done I believe in that’s
that the power of one of challenge coins
now I received my coin when I was giving
a speech at a conference talking about
how to get more kids to camp and at the
end of that speech someone came up and
shook my hand and I was surprised to see
that coin that he handed me here was a
retired firefighter who was on the board
of a camp and that camp was created to
help kids who had had severe burns and
he came up to thank me for what I had
done helping them get more kids into
their camp and helping them to create
more programs where they could grow and
develop those kids in the programs so I
I was encouraged to have the moment
where I was given my coin as well so the
power of one is something that as I say
I think we can all do and I think we
should focus on in order to make it
easier for you I’ve broken it down and
made it into an acronym so I want you to
think about one thinking about open
means and explore so you want to be open
to these things
want to be open to the moments when you
can have conversations with kids when
you can enjoy a moment with them so for
me at summer camp that happened in
transitions from working from one active
walking from one activity to the other
it happened in moments where we were
waiting in line for the dining hall but
in the rest of the world I see that
happening at camp I see that happening
in places in your lives like when you’re
riding in a minivan to a practice or
when you finally have dinner with just
one child at the table well that kid
finishes a practice and they need to sit
down or they close up a book and that
happens there’s just a little moment
there so I’d like you to notice those
things so the next part of that is to
think about how you can look after their
needs look at just acknowledge that they
need something what is it you need how
can I help you etcetera that helps helps
each child in that moment the next part
of that is to engage with them so that
involves starting a conversation it
might be having question
that you can ask them giving them
something that can start a conversation
how can you ask them open questions
everybody knows when you say how is your
day at school
the answer is it’s fine you want to ask
questions that do more get more than
just it’s fine
think about how we can engage more so
ask how questions or why questions why
did you do that thing today
why did your friend talk to you that way
how did you make that thing that you
loved the ways that we can get into
deeper conversations now open needs
engage or open notice and engage those
are important things to remember that’s
why I call it the power of one so we’re
have that in our mind but sometimes
people ask me what I actually do I get a
child’s attention I’m open to this
moment but what are the conversations
look like the conversations look like an
exchange between you and them it is the
open questions
it’s the noticing the things that they
are important to them you know what it’s
saying I saw that you’ve been reading
this book on this topic what makes you
interested in that some of my favorite
moments from when I was a child with my
dad happened when the two of us would
ride in our John Deere tractor listening
to 8-track tapes of boney m and Kenny
Rogers while tilling the fields and I
would love to go with my dad we’d spend
hours in the fields and just have
conversations those conversations were
centered around my life how isn’t doing
it what I enjoyed school things like
that what meet those conversations
different than a lot of other
conversations with adults is that those
were the times that my dad opened up to
me that my dad would share things with
me and that didn’t happen very often I
treasure those moments because of that
so he would talk about where we were
going with our farm business what we
what we needed to do what livestock we
were gonna purchase and as a kid it was
the first time I felt like I was
involved in our family business and I’ve
treasured those moments because of that
time so I hope that in doing this you
see that it’s important that we take the
time to have conversations that we
notice kids that we
open to them and that we have moments
with them where we can make them feel
great because as I said this impact can
last forever in moments where they
really need it you don’t know if eight
words Travis you will be a great camp
counselor five seconds of that person’s
life
I can’t counselor Ian led down a path
that has taken me 35 years so what I’d
like to do is to give you one last thing
to think about sometimes it’s the
conversation things that we stumble over
it’s like how do we get to the next
level of conversation we’re so caught up
in I’m having I’m having a power of one
moment with this person I’ve stopped
I’ve noticed that got down to their
level and now what do I do what I like
you to think about my camp counselor Ian
I call this the Ian formula for great
conversations with kids in teens so I’d
like you to think about Ian as an
acronym interesting and next what do you
find interesting what do you love to
learn about what gets you excited we
know kids in our lives who are
interested in excited about things
because we’ve seen them sing they’re
just so excited we know kids we can pick
up on when kids love something because
that is the moment where they get their
Dancy pants on and they talk and run in
sentences and their great big paragraphs
that never seem to end because they’re
so excited about things pick up on those
what are you interested in what’s that
thing what’s got you so excited those
conversations you can help continue by
simply saying and and and keep that
conversation going and what else and I
let those conversations go to the their
normal end and then the last stage of
the youn formula is the part that I
think truly solidifies in that child’s
heart that you care about them what’s
next what’s next for you what happens
when you leave this place what’s the
next project you want to do on this
topic where are what book you’re looking
forward to reading to next as an adult
what you’re showing to a kid is I care
about this little moment that we’re
having right
now but by saying what’s next we say to
that child I care about your future I
care about more than this little
exchange right now I care about what
happens to tomorrow the next day then
next week the next summer
so remember interesting and next this
gentleman’s name is Scott Sinclair and
he was the camp director when I finally
did become a counselor at Camp kintel so
II McClain was my first counselor my
counselor that gave me the speech but
Scott said something to me at camp as
well in the same way that Ian did this
was a moment where I really needed
something from an adult that I looked up
to he didn’t know that but he was
willing to give it anyway and it’s had
an impact on me
so during a performance evaluation Scott
said to me Travis people like us really
need to do things that surprise others
that blow away other people’s
expectations so maybe we don’t actually
go on to secondary school
maybe we travel instead maybe we work
flipping burgers
maybe we work in a factory but we need
to do stuff people like us need to do
projects like this because it helps us
be more empathetic leaders
it helps have more empathy for the
people that we work for so great advice
from Scott I’ve obviously never
forgotten it but the magic of that
conversation to me was when he said
Travis people like us this man that I
looked up to this man that I respected
this man who had my dream job said
people like us he was signaling to me I
was like him and because Scott Sinclair
said people like us I have worked around
the world teaching leadership to adults
and kids around the world because he
said that I am calm and collected in
emergencies because he changed the way I
saw myself because he said that I was
able to get up and lead silly songs in
front of a couple of hundred people with
no problem whatsoever
because Scott said that because he said
people like us I’ve been able to go
around the world training people to
build communities where we notice and
appreciate each child because in said
that because Marian said that and
because Scott said that I also was able
to find somebody in fact more than one
and say to them you know you will be a
great camp counselor and that’s the
power of one
[Applause]
Travis you will be a great camp
counselor on a warm summer afternoon in
1984 my camp counselor said to me eight
words that would changed my life he said
to me Travis
you will be a great camp counselor up
until that point I didn’t feel like I
belong in lots of places I was a nerdy
kid growing up in a village where they
celebrated baseball players and hockey
jocks and my family still talks about
how I would walk to the school bus
reading one book and walk home from the
school bus reading another book yet
somehow my camp counselor saw something
different in me I know that I had it
lucky because I had a very supportive
family but like many kids I was bullied
on that school bus and I was bullied at
school yet
Ian McLean my camp counselor Ian MacLean
my camp counselor saw something
different in me he invested five seconds
in me that changed my life so on that
afternoon we got out of lunch at camp
went back to our cabin and he asked to
speak to me outside to the tribes can I
speak to you outside
we went in stood by the picnic table
asked me to sit down I thought I was in
big trouble
something had gone on that I couldn’t
quite figure out but that I was in big
trouble yet i sat down and if that
preamble he just said to me Travis you
will be a great camp counselor because
of that moment that set me on a path to
this moment and this stage five seconds
of his life put me here today now
because of what he did I found my higher
purpose in life I believe that my
purpose is very closely tied with a
higher purpose of summer camp and that
is to provide a place a community
where kids can be recognized and
acknowledged for their individual
talents and we can help adults find them
all at the time to create that moment
with those kids it’s so I’ve here today
to ask you to help me make that the
higher purpose of every single community
that we find the time to recognize and
acknowledge kids for the things that
make them special now kids are often
lumped into groups we put them into
groups so they might be one of mrs.
shields third grade class or there might
be a nerd or a jock or there might be
the pretty one in the family they might
be the kid with a funny accent or the
queer kid or the kid who lives there
grandma because they don’t have a mom
and dad but if we take a moment and
acknowledge and appreciate them we give
them a place where they belong now I
believe that this has happened for most
people in this room so what I’d like you
to do is take a second and think about
your person the person who stopped there
most likely not your parent the person
who stopped and said something to
encourage you when you’re a young the
person who noticed the thing that you’re
passionate about picture that person in
your mind your person and my person did
something that I call the power of one
oh there’s some really interesting
research coming out of the Centers of
the developing child at Harvard
University from Flinders University in
Australia and from a 12,000 child study
done in the country of Ireland that’s
those studies all show that if we invest
just a small moment of our time I’ll
develop a relationship with just one
child that child’s life can be changed
in Ireland they’ve taken that research
and they’ve created a program called one
good adult because the research clearly
shows if we have if you’re a child at
risk risk of drugs dropping out of
school bad relationships making poor
choices all you need is one good adult
in your life to change that
so this research shows that if a child
has someone who invests in them takes
just a moment as I said for me
it happened at a great moment and it was
five seconds invest in that child what
happens is that they have much higher
self-esteem this is a child who can
stand up for his or her self this is a
child who wins she tests great at a
dance recital will actually accept the
praise that she’s given these kids also
have much better they make better
choices in the world they’re much more
confident so this is a kid who will
raise their hand and say I don’t
understand what’s going on I don’t
understand you’re trying that thing that
you’re trying to teach me there’ll be
the person who then can stand in front
of a bully who’s picking on a friend
they also have much better mental
toughness so these are kids who can try
something learn from it try again fail
learn try fail until they eventually
succeed and that mental toughness can
carry through for the rest of their life
they also know that they belong and that
sense of belonging as I said was
something incredibly important to me as
a child because I didn’t have it in my
home community I found it at summer camp
so we can’t develop these relationships
and develop the things that happen with
these kids and help them fit in give
them a place so I was lucky enough when
I was fifteen years old to have another
critical moment something that happened
to me exactly when I needed it my
mother’s friends Marion Crawford was our
hairdresser growing up and like many of
my mother’s friends we had a great
relationship it was cordial it was
polite except one afternoon a Friday
afternoon I know it was a Friday because
it was my very first high school dance I
sat down in Marion’s chair she put the
drape around me she pulled up the
scissors she looked at me in the mirror
and she said Travis let’s try something
really different
Marion saw me as someone different than
I saw myself
she changed the way I saw myself it
matters little that Marion and I spent
the next five years doing every crazy
color cut whatever we could come up with
to do different it matters most that she
saw me as a kid who could be creative
and would love to express that she saw
me as someone who would love to express
the kind of music they liked by would
the way they were their hair Marion saw
me and told me in that moment that she
saw me as a very creative kid who could
and would love to express themselves now
when I was older I was a volunteer
firefighter for seven years as part of
that I learned of being part of the
firefighter culture I learned about
challenged coins so I believe that
there’s power of one moment is power one
moments that we share with kids are
incredibly important really it’s the
essence of my talk but I think it can
also help adults as well a challenge
coins are one of these things that
really clued me into how that was
possible so a challenge coin is a token
custom-made that shows you’re part of a
group so it’s almost often a coin that
you can carry around with you they’re
made for military regiments for
emergency services personnel now there
are some clubs and other school
organizations that are doing challenge
coins as well charge quites have an
amazing culture around them it’s a true
symbol of belonging and their custom
just to your unit your group your club
shows that you belong but the power of
one that happens with challenge coins is
when they are passed off to someone
who’s not part of your group they’re
given on to someone I love it because
they’re given in a secret handshake you
tuck your coin into your hand and then
shake that person’s hand to hand it off
to them so that person is sort of
surprised by that one what is this and
they take a look at it that allows
someone who may be of higher rank who
may be of greater social stature in
those organizations that are not
touchy-feely and in fact we’re
individuality is often discouraged it
allows that person to say I recognize
you I think you your contribution is
important
what you’ve done I believe in that’s
that the power of one of challenge coins
now I received my coin when I was giving
a speech at a conference talking about
how to get more kids to camp and at the
end of that speech someone came up and
shook my hand and I was surprised to see
that coin that he handed me here was a
retired firefighter who was on the board
of a camp and that camp was created to
help kids who had had severe burns and
he came up to thank me for what I had
done helping them get more kids into
their camp and helping them to create
more programs where they could grow and
develop those kids in the programs so I
I was encouraged to have the moment
where I was given my coin as well so the
power of one is something that as I say
I think we can all do and I think we
should focus on in order to make it
easier for you I’ve broken it down and
made it into an acronym so I want you to
think about one thinking about open
means and explore so you want to be open
to these things
want to be open to the moments when you
can have conversations with kids when
you can enjoy a moment with them so for
me at summer camp that happened in
transitions from working from one active
walking from one activity to the other
it happened in moments where we were
waiting in line for the dining hall but
in the rest of the world I see that
happening at camp I see that happening
in places in your lives like when you’re
riding in a minivan to a practice or
when you finally have dinner with just
one child at the table well that kid
finishes a practice and they need to sit
down or they close up a book and that
happens there’s just a little moment
there so I’d like you to notice those
things so the next part of that is to
think about how you can look after their
needs look at just acknowledge that they
need something what is it you need how
can I help you etcetera that helps helps
each child in that moment the next part
of that is to engage with them so that
involves starting a conversation it
might be having question
that you can ask them giving them
something that can start a conversation
how can you ask them open questions
everybody knows when you say how is your
day at school
the answer is it’s fine you want to ask
questions that do more get more than
just it’s fine
think about how we can engage more so
ask how questions or why questions why
did you do that thing today
why did your friend talk to you that way
how did you make that thing that you
loved the ways that we can get into
deeper conversations now open needs
engage or open notice and engage those
are important things to remember that’s
why I call it the power of one so we’re
have that in our mind but sometimes
people ask me what I actually do I get a
child’s attention I’m open to this
moment but what are the conversations
look like the conversations look like an
exchange between you and them it is the
open questions
it’s the noticing the things that they
are important to them you know what it’s
saying I saw that you’ve been reading
this book on this topic what makes you
interested in that some of my favorite
moments from when I was a child with my
dad happened when the two of us would
ride in our John Deere tractor listening
to 8-track tapes of boney m and Kenny
Rogers while tilling the fields and I
would love to go with my dad we’d spend
hours in the fields and just have
conversations those conversations were
centered around my life how isn’t doing
it what I enjoyed school things like
that what meet those conversations
different than a lot of other
conversations with adults is that those
were the times that my dad opened up to
me that my dad would share things with
me and that didn’t happen very often I
treasure those moments because of that
so he would talk about where we were
going with our farm business what we
what we needed to do what livestock we
were gonna purchase and as a kid it was
the first time I felt like I was
involved in our family business and I’ve
treasured those moments because of that
time so I hope that in doing this you
see that it’s important that we take the
time to have conversations that we
notice kids that we
open to them and that we have moments
with them where we can make them feel
great because as I said this impact can
last forever in moments where they
really need it you don’t know if eight
words Travis you will be a great camp
counselor five seconds of that person’s
life
I can’t counselor Ian led down a path
that has taken me 35 years so what I’d
like to do is to give you one last thing
to think about sometimes it’s the
conversation things that we stumble over
it’s like how do we get to the next
level of conversation we’re so caught up
in I’m having I’m having a power of one
moment with this person I’ve stopped
I’ve noticed that got down to their
level and now what do I do what I like
you to think about my camp counselor Ian
I call this the Ian formula for great
conversations with kids in teens so I’d
like you to think about Ian as an
acronym interesting and next what do you
find interesting what do you love to
learn about what gets you excited we
know kids in our lives who are
interested in excited about things
because we’ve seen them sing they’re
just so excited we know kids we can pick
up on when kids love something because
that is the moment where they get their
Dancy pants on and they talk and run in
sentences and their great big paragraphs
that never seem to end because they’re
so excited about things pick up on those
what are you interested in what’s that
thing what’s got you so excited those
conversations you can help continue by
simply saying and and and keep that
conversation going and what else and I
let those conversations go to the their
normal end and then the last stage of
the youn formula is the part that I
think truly solidifies in that child’s
heart that you care about them what’s
next what’s next for you what happens
when you leave this place what’s the
next project you want to do on this
topic where are what book you’re looking
forward to reading to next as an adult
what you’re showing to a kid is I care
about this little moment that we’re
having right
now but by saying what’s next we say to
that child I care about your future I
care about more than this little
exchange right now I care about what
happens to tomorrow the next day then
next week the next summer
so remember interesting and next this
gentleman’s name is Scott Sinclair and
he was the camp director when I finally
did become a counselor at Camp kintel so
II McClain was my first counselor my
counselor that gave me the speech but
Scott said something to me at camp as
well in the same way that Ian did this
was a moment where I really needed
something from an adult that I looked up
to he didn’t know that but he was
willing to give it anyway and it’s had
an impact on me
so during a performance evaluation Scott
said to me Travis people like us really
need to do things that surprise others
that blow away other people’s
expectations so maybe we don’t actually
go on to secondary school
maybe we travel instead maybe we work
flipping burgers
maybe we work in a factory but we need
to do stuff people like us need to do
projects like this because it helps us
be more empathetic leaders
it helps have more empathy for the
people that we work for so great advice
from Scott I’ve obviously never
forgotten it but the magic of that
conversation to me was when he said
Travis people like us this man that I
looked up to this man that I respected
this man who had my dream job said
people like us he was signaling to me I
was like him and because Scott Sinclair
said people like us I have worked around
the world teaching leadership to adults
and kids around the world because he
said that I am calm and collected in
emergencies because he changed the way I
saw myself because he said that I was
able to get up and lead silly songs in
front of a couple of hundred people with
no problem whatsoever
because Scott said that because he said
people like us I’ve been able to go
around the world training people to
build communities where we notice and
appreciate each child because in said
that because Marian said that and
because Scott said that I also was able
to find somebody in fact more than one
and say to them you know you will be a
great camp counselor and that’s the
power of one
[Applause]
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