once met you see I just had my second
child and I had been out of the
workplace for a couple of years despite
being a conventionally productive member
of the workplace for over a decade and
some of you might be able to relate at
this time I had been thrown into a whole
new world I was feeling a little bit
disconnected overwhelmed and I had lost
some confidence my husband and I we had
been invited to a drinks event and I
thought that after so many weeks at home
it would be very nice to go so I picked
my very tired self up I showered I put
on clean clothes these were big deals in
those days and off I went I bumped into
this guy at the bar he said hello and he
told me he was an accountant and he
asked me what I did so I just
instinctively replied and I said I’m on
maternity leave he just looked at me he
looked turned around and he just walked
away no more small talk no more chitchat
that’s it he just went you see he was
there to network if he had spent five or
ten more seconds talking to me I think
he would have found out what my previous
day job was and it would have sparked
his interest or fit his agenda in our
quantified world today we seem to
measure success or potential success in
numbers wealth social media followers
and we give each other easily
qualifiable labels doctor dentist
accountant we seem to sometimes measure
people for what they’re worth
or what worth they can give to you if
you ask me in my opinion there’s one
unquantifiable thing that that guy at
the bar forgot about many of us have it
the more you use it the more it grows
and it has the power not only to change
our own world but the wider world around
us friendship I remember a simpler time
I remember when we just met people and
took some time and interest found
commonality we perhaps learnt something
or nothing really that important about
one another but just enough to have a
conversation and understanding and a
connection haven’t we over complicated
life today some people view others as
social capital we network it’s something
really complicated they’re books written
on the subject and instructions on how
to do it the implication is that you
meet people for a specific purpose and
if that purpose isn’t easily apparent
whether you just move over to the next
person and it seems that people must
have something to offer to come to these
places of networking and if that offer
isn’t easily quantifiable or qualifiable
or perhaps once you just stay at home we
need to go back to basics we need to go
back to making friends and connecting
with people that is meeting everybody
with an open mind with the premise that
everyone has something to teach you who
you want to be who you don’t want to be
to reaffirm a belief or to a challenge
it we need to go beyond the specific
agenda we sometimes meet people for and
when we do that we learn so much about
each other
likes dislikes opinions held skills
talent and if we don’t do that we risk
out on missing out on so much potential
connectivity now this and connectivity
it’s not a dirty word it doesn’t mean
hanging out in big delegations or being
a socialite it just means viewing the
world as relationship-based again and
resisting their urged narrowly mindedly
Network quantify or qualify like my
neighbor for example I met her through
another neighbor and beyond the
neighborly thing of swapping house keys
in case of emergencies beyond that she
was exceptionally creative she could put
together a spreadsheet in a website you
know the flash of an eye she was
passionate about putting community and
social events together she can make you
a hundred and fifty mini desserts in
like 150 seconds and three flavors to
boot
all this girl I met through work she was
an amazing entrepreneur but beyond that
she had this amazing story of how she
turned her hobby into an enterprise she
did it at a particularly turbulent time
in her life where she was left penniless
with a small family to feed or some of
the mums that I was meeting at the
nursery doors every morning I mean most
them just wanted a good night’s sleep
but beyond that some of them were
looking for a new balance a new
direction but had no idea of where
go or have to find it for the most part
I never considered any of these people
and what part of my network they were
just really simply my friends now we
meet people at all stages throughout our
life education work social interest
groups are the friends and naturally we
interact with some people more than
others at different phases of our life
and some friendships even become dormant
but they’re always there in the
background going through the same
changes and you know things as you
friendships change some strengthens some
weaken and there are people that we
connect with in varying degree and there
are always people we are not going to
connect with but the point is each one
is a connection a friendly fund of
connections to draw from a fraternity of
people a fraternity of friends always
accumulating growing with different
skills talents abilities and advice it’s
a friendship fraternity has anyone
played that degree of separation game
where you figure out how many
connections between you and another
person the theory is that we are all
connected on this earth within six
connections or less people usually pay
it with famous people like Barack Obama
for me my Member of Parliament David
Cameron Barrack Obama people used to
play in the 90s with Hollywood actor
Kevin Bacon me the film director going
to cheder who spoke at the social
initiative I run that’s got me to
Hollywood must be a couple more from
there the theory is that a friend of a
friend can lead you to anyone a friend
of a friend can lead you anywhere now it
seems sometimes that were conditioned to
keep our connection secret and of course
there are times where this is wholly
appropriate and necessary but if the
task at hand doesn’t have a top-secret
element why not share even if there is
no benefit to you why well I believe
that there are sometimes incorrect
assumptions in some social and economic
theory you know the one that says that
we’re all really selfish species and if
I was really really wrong I don’t think
any of us would be here today we are the
culmination of
nations working together you see it in
the small actions of everyday people
whether it’s holding a door open getting
out the way for emergency vehicles
rallying together in times of crisis
there are so many things that we do
without expectation of benefit or reward
and perhaps being a connector is one of
remember that nice man at the bar I told
you about I may have had absolutely no
worth for him whatsoever but he forever
changed my view on making friends
networking and meeting people in ancient
Greece the marketplace was a place not
only to buy goods and services but to
meet people to introduce innovation to
participate in conversation debate to
challenge ideas isn’t that an amazing
thing I want to do something similar I
wanted to create a place where people
could come to be inspired horizons
broadened a place where you could be
engaged encouraged empowered and enabled
a place where the unconnected could meet
the connected and the connected could
further connect a place to be valued so
with a handful of connections from my
fraternity of friends I and my very
organized neighbor together we set up a
social initiative all about connecting
people and sharing stories not
connecting people for any immediate gain
but just so that one day you may know
somebody for whatever that special thing
is that makes a difference in your life
as you see it professional advice
personal support friendship respite it’s
a place where you can hear stories about
how an entrepreneur set up an enterprise
from a hobby how somebody overcome
adversity and triumph a place where you
can hear the stories of others and how
they have navigated their paths to find
the answers to some of the balances that
you may now seek I think there is an
incorrect assumption sometimes that when
we connect we diminish ourselves I think
that we should see ourselves as candles
we know that when a candle likes another
candle it’s not diminished in any way a
candle can light a hundred candles a
thousand candle
candle can light a bonfire a candle can
light the next innovative that can think
that can change the world in our world
today we’re really lucky we have the
online world in the real world and
obviously they are the obvious caveats
about not taking everything you see
online as gospel and that’s true for the
real world too but the Internet has
enabled us to connect exponentially both
worlds complement each other online
groups meet in real life and real life
groups meet meet more people online we
have to remember that search engines
don’t always have all the answers and if
they do they don’t have the ability to
go beyond the question to find all that
hidden connectivity search engines they
answer the questions that you posed but
friends they can help you draw out the
so let me ask you who do you know and
how far can you go and what can you do
and it is not about being self-serving
it’s about working together for societal
change for health and well-being for
innovation maybe even for enterprise you
see we need to go back to basics I mean
to put friendships back at the heart of
our networks and when we do that when we
use I Nate altruism to connect and
create opportunity well then our worth
is immeasurable and our potential impact
it’s limitless
thank you [Applause]