the queer experience is different for
every LGBTQ person for me it means a
sense of mission and purpose my
coming-out involved a lot of hurt
a lot of frustration and at times
loneliness and that’s the same for a lot
of LGBTQ persons for me that translated
into wanting to do work to improve the
lives of LGBTQ youth across her state
and in 2007 I was able to start in a
role that allowed me to do that now
during this time from 2007 to today and
on we’ve seen a lot of advancements for
LGBTQ equality I’ve been able to see
federal hate crimes law expand to allow
gender identity Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
repealed employment protections here in
Iowa and of course marriage equality but
what does this look like for queer youth
in our state and across the country we
know that while these policies have
changed the experiences for queer youth
are staying the same so I looked up and
looked up in statistics from 2007 the
2007 glisten national school Climate
Survey which surveyed LGBTQ youth found
that sixty point eight percent of LGBTQ
youth in this country felt unsafe in
their school because of their sexual
orientation the most recent survey
available the 2015 national school
Climate Survey said fifty seven point
six percent of LGBTQ youth felt unsafe
at school because of their sexual
orientation during this time the same
statistic five to ten times more likely
to attempt suicide than their
heterosexual or cisgender peers in 40%
of all homeless youths in this country
are LGBTQ the stats simply aren’t
changing now when I started in this role
there was this meeting this big meeting
I got to go to one of the first ones and
I sat down and there was someone from a
national organization showed up it’s a
big deal when you work for a state group
and national comes to town so there’s
national there’s all of us LGBTQ leaders
and they had this big whiteboard and
they had just list out the priorities of
our community
employment protections Don’t Ask Don’t
Tell repeal and marriage was at the
front and center of it and I like
everyone else in the room in 2007 at the
time laughed it off marriage that’s
never gonna happen that’s 50 years from
now no one likes us oh it’s gonna be
forever right
well prove me wrong two years later Iowa
became the third state in the country
for marriage equality and in 2015 the US
Supreme Court ruled in favor and that
was a big achievement in marriage is a
big deal it really is it means you can
make health care decisions for your
partner
it means if one spouse is an immigrant
they’re able to advance quicker on
citizenship without fear of deportation
but I would argue something is just as
important it’s the issues impacting
queer youth so back at that meeting I
kept raising my hand and going hey hey
hi hi yes hi yes I think we should be
talking about conversion therapy it’s
this practice that impacts one in three
LGBTQ persons it’s this idea you can
change someone’s sexual orientation or
gender identity through therapy or abuse
we should be talking about that what hey
hey what about those homeless youth hi
what about what about GSA’s supporting
gay straight alliances in our schools
that makes a big impact for youth I was
told by that national organizer do youth
and do they vote because we’re going to
prioritize now so while I’ve watched
marriage campaigns happen come and go
I’ve seen hundreds of thousands and
millions of dollars spent towards Pro
LGBTQ equality focusing on adults and at
that same time I get to work with kids
one story in particular a 15 year old
gay student who was outed at a school it
was outed no fault of his own school
calls what do we do we don’t want to get
sued big deal and then we figured out
okay we can get the student maybe to go
stay at a friend’s that place that night
and made those adjustments and try to
figure out what else we can do just help
support students I call a couple days
later to check on that student how is he
doing how are things going well he went
back to his parents house
and they sent him away what do you mean
they sent him away they sent him away no
one else was asking what happened to
that kid see okay did he make it where
he was going okay is he on the streets
he just vanished and everyone at that
school in town just acted like he never
existed
a couple years later there was a student
teenager killed here in Northeast Iowa
he was beat to death the youth of color
when he was beat to death his killers
kept saying the word faggot to him over
and over again that was some the last
words he heard and I remember calling
news reporters calling these national
organizations hey hey you’ve got a lot
of money we could probably do a campaign
ad on this this is big deal we can make
some change happen that’s nice
got a little blurb in the Advocate
nothing else then 2016 we had a student
in southeast Iowa a gender-fluid youth
was walking home picked up by two
individuals and was taken back to their
place tortured and murdered and left in
an alley 2016 this happened hey we
should be talking about this they killed
this kid because of their gender
identity we should be adding this to the
state’s hate crimes law we should be
making this a big deal why why aren’t we
out there with pitchforks trying to find
the killers and change things got a
little blurb just ignored and then just
this week I talked to a GSA president
and he had found out two weeks ago there
was a student at a school that completed
suicide and that was after they came out
to their parents and they had been
rejected so for that queer youth
experience we’re not seeing the change
happen you can get to the age of 18 you
have a lot of rights liberties and
freedoms but for our youth they’re not
there yet we haven’t put our money where
our mouth is on that and so what we’ve
seen though is for Millennials it’s a
changing world fifty percent of
Millennials believe that gender and
sexuality are fluid
we’re also seeing youth come out younger
and younger I just got to work with a
bunch of fifth graders fifth graders
who’ve got to pick a class project you
know what they got to pick LGBTQ rights
they’re gonna hang a pride flag at their
elementary school in the gym and they’re
doing that because they bisexual and
transgender peers I think that’s pretty
cool and gives me a lot of hope but what
we know is we have a lot more work to do
to support our LGBTQ youth in their
schools for one we got a week I have a
conversation amongst us as a queer
family fam fam I got to talk to you fam
for a second here hi girl hey girl hey
hey yeah um we gonna have a chat because
I know there’s resources available I
know we can make a difference for LGBTQ
youth and we’ve got to be supporting our
own I need to be donating to those GSA’s
your LGBTQ youth groups homeless
shelters mental health facilities
whatever you can do to make a difference
I know the resources are there and we
have to stop talking about wedding cakes
and wedding cake Baker’s I’m done with
it because we got kids are in crisis so
fam get it together we can do this for
our little village cuz it takes a
village to raise a kid and that means
our schools are mental health providers
faith communities educators all those
folks and those helping professions I
need your help first off you have any
prejudice in your heart helping
professions probably aren’t for you
sorry to say you should probably go into
another career and if you do have a full
heart that wants to and believes in
these kids and wants to help them out
then we need to be giving you the tools
and resources and know how to do that
that means understanding transgender
students and their rights using the
right pronouns using the right name
helping them change forms helping them
support a Gay Straight Alliance at their
school because when you do these things
shocking I know
but those statistics that I mentioned
they go down
in those schools that do that students
are more likely to feel safe they’re
less likely to have suicidal risks if
you support them isn’t that a novel idea
when you support a human being they are
more whole and they’re less likely to
experience bad things finally for our
parents and our family out there with
LGBTQ youth you got a special place in
my heart and especially the parents of
trans kids I understand that there is a
mourning period that takes place when
your child comes out as transgender you
mourn the loss of a son or a daughter
but I need you to get it together a
little bit faster because every day that
you’re mourning that loss your son or
daughter is getting more distant from
you now you got to get it together you
got three jobs as a parent when you got
to love your kid – you better be their
champion and three you better protect
them that’s your jobs and you’ve got to
be there for them and as parents you’ve
got to ask questions you’ve got to go
get support if you need it whatever you
can do but you’ve got to get to a place
of love a lot faster because we’re
losing too many students to suicide and
bullying and rejection it’s happening
far too often if we can do these things
we can create these safe spaces but it
takes each and every one of us to be
involved in active we should be asking
questions we should be giving tools and
resources to those and those helping
professions we should be empowering
parents and we need empower gay-straight
alliances our GSA s our student
organizations on campuses whatever we
can do to let people be their full self
and it will happen there’s a quote about
we will be citizens when you talk about
LGBTQ rights and we’re seeing that we
will be citizens that time will come
when we’re no longer in the shadows
we’re not dying silent deaths anymore
we’re there but when we hear those
stories we need to share it
we need people to be aware we’ve empower
folks we need to help our youth thank
you [Applause]
every LGBTQ person for me it means a
sense of mission and purpose my
coming-out involved a lot of hurt
a lot of frustration and at times
loneliness and that’s the same for a lot
of LGBTQ persons for me that translated
into wanting to do work to improve the
lives of LGBTQ youth across her state
and in 2007 I was able to start in a
role that allowed me to do that now
during this time from 2007 to today and
on we’ve seen a lot of advancements for
LGBTQ equality I’ve been able to see
federal hate crimes law expand to allow
gender identity Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
repealed employment protections here in
Iowa and of course marriage equality but
what does this look like for queer youth
in our state and across the country we
know that while these policies have
changed the experiences for queer youth
are staying the same so I looked up and
looked up in statistics from 2007 the
2007 glisten national school Climate
Survey which surveyed LGBTQ youth found
that sixty point eight percent of LGBTQ
youth in this country felt unsafe in
their school because of their sexual
orientation the most recent survey
available the 2015 national school
Climate Survey said fifty seven point
six percent of LGBTQ youth felt unsafe
at school because of their sexual
orientation during this time the same
statistic five to ten times more likely
to attempt suicide than their
heterosexual or cisgender peers in 40%
of all homeless youths in this country
are LGBTQ the stats simply aren’t
changing now when I started in this role
there was this meeting this big meeting
I got to go to one of the first ones and
I sat down and there was someone from a
national organization showed up it’s a
big deal when you work for a state group
and national comes to town so there’s
national there’s all of us LGBTQ leaders
and they had this big whiteboard and
they had just list out the priorities of
our community
employment protections Don’t Ask Don’t
Tell repeal and marriage was at the
front and center of it and I like
everyone else in the room in 2007 at the
time laughed it off marriage that’s
never gonna happen that’s 50 years from
now no one likes us oh it’s gonna be
forever right
well prove me wrong two years later Iowa
became the third state in the country
for marriage equality and in 2015 the US
Supreme Court ruled in favor and that
was a big achievement in marriage is a
big deal it really is it means you can
make health care decisions for your
partner
it means if one spouse is an immigrant
they’re able to advance quicker on
citizenship without fear of deportation
but I would argue something is just as
important it’s the issues impacting
queer youth so back at that meeting I
kept raising my hand and going hey hey
hi hi yes hi yes I think we should be
talking about conversion therapy it’s
this practice that impacts one in three
LGBTQ persons it’s this idea you can
change someone’s sexual orientation or
gender identity through therapy or abuse
we should be talking about that what hey
hey what about those homeless youth hi
what about what about GSA’s supporting
gay straight alliances in our schools
that makes a big impact for youth I was
told by that national organizer do youth
and do they vote because we’re going to
prioritize now so while I’ve watched
marriage campaigns happen come and go
I’ve seen hundreds of thousands and
millions of dollars spent towards Pro
LGBTQ equality focusing on adults and at
that same time I get to work with kids
one story in particular a 15 year old
gay student who was outed at a school it
was outed no fault of his own school
calls what do we do we don’t want to get
sued big deal and then we figured out
okay we can get the student maybe to go
stay at a friend’s that place that night
and made those adjustments and try to
figure out what else we can do just help
support students I call a couple days
later to check on that student how is he
doing how are things going well he went
back to his parents house
and they sent him away what do you mean
they sent him away they sent him away no
one else was asking what happened to
that kid see okay did he make it where
he was going okay is he on the streets
he just vanished and everyone at that
school in town just acted like he never
existed
a couple years later there was a student
teenager killed here in Northeast Iowa
he was beat to death the youth of color
when he was beat to death his killers
kept saying the word faggot to him over
and over again that was some the last
words he heard and I remember calling
news reporters calling these national
organizations hey hey you’ve got a lot
of money we could probably do a campaign
ad on this this is big deal we can make
some change happen that’s nice
got a little blurb in the Advocate
nothing else then 2016 we had a student
in southeast Iowa a gender-fluid youth
was walking home picked up by two
individuals and was taken back to their
place tortured and murdered and left in
an alley 2016 this happened hey we
should be talking about this they killed
this kid because of their gender
identity we should be adding this to the
state’s hate crimes law we should be
making this a big deal why why aren’t we
out there with pitchforks trying to find
the killers and change things got a
little blurb just ignored and then just
this week I talked to a GSA president
and he had found out two weeks ago there
was a student at a school that completed
suicide and that was after they came out
to their parents and they had been
rejected so for that queer youth
experience we’re not seeing the change
happen you can get to the age of 18 you
have a lot of rights liberties and
freedoms but for our youth they’re not
there yet we haven’t put our money where
our mouth is on that and so what we’ve
seen though is for Millennials it’s a
changing world fifty percent of
Millennials believe that gender and
sexuality are fluid
we’re also seeing youth come out younger
and younger I just got to work with a
bunch of fifth graders fifth graders
who’ve got to pick a class project you
know what they got to pick LGBTQ rights
they’re gonna hang a pride flag at their
elementary school in the gym and they’re
doing that because they bisexual and
transgender peers I think that’s pretty
cool and gives me a lot of hope but what
we know is we have a lot more work to do
to support our LGBTQ youth in their
schools for one we got a week I have a
conversation amongst us as a queer
family fam fam I got to talk to you fam
for a second here hi girl hey girl hey
hey yeah um we gonna have a chat because
I know there’s resources available I
know we can make a difference for LGBTQ
youth and we’ve got to be supporting our
own I need to be donating to those GSA’s
your LGBTQ youth groups homeless
shelters mental health facilities
whatever you can do to make a difference
I know the resources are there and we
have to stop talking about wedding cakes
and wedding cake Baker’s I’m done with
it because we got kids are in crisis so
fam get it together we can do this for
our little village cuz it takes a
village to raise a kid and that means
our schools are mental health providers
faith communities educators all those
folks and those helping professions I
need your help first off you have any
prejudice in your heart helping
professions probably aren’t for you
sorry to say you should probably go into
another career and if you do have a full
heart that wants to and believes in
these kids and wants to help them out
then we need to be giving you the tools
and resources and know how to do that
that means understanding transgender
students and their rights using the
right pronouns using the right name
helping them change forms helping them
support a Gay Straight Alliance at their
school because when you do these things
shocking I know
but those statistics that I mentioned
they go down
in those schools that do that students
are more likely to feel safe they’re
less likely to have suicidal risks if
you support them isn’t that a novel idea
when you support a human being they are
more whole and they’re less likely to
experience bad things finally for our
parents and our family out there with
LGBTQ youth you got a special place in
my heart and especially the parents of
trans kids I understand that there is a
mourning period that takes place when
your child comes out as transgender you
mourn the loss of a son or a daughter
but I need you to get it together a
little bit faster because every day that
you’re mourning that loss your son or
daughter is getting more distant from
you now you got to get it together you
got three jobs as a parent when you got
to love your kid – you better be their
champion and three you better protect
them that’s your jobs and you’ve got to
be there for them and as parents you’ve
got to ask questions you’ve got to go
get support if you need it whatever you
can do but you’ve got to get to a place
of love a lot faster because we’re
losing too many students to suicide and
bullying and rejection it’s happening
far too often if we can do these things
we can create these safe spaces but it
takes each and every one of us to be
involved in active we should be asking
questions we should be giving tools and
resources to those and those helping
professions we should be empowering
parents and we need empower gay-straight
alliances our GSA s our student
organizations on campuses whatever we
can do to let people be their full self
and it will happen there’s a quote about
we will be citizens when you talk about
LGBTQ rights and we’re seeing that we
will be citizens that time will come
when we’re no longer in the shadows
we’re not dying silent deaths anymore
we’re there but when we hear those
stories we need to share it
we need people to be aware we’ve empower
folks we need to help our youth thank
you [Applause]
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