it’s what we should do
I’m too loud I’m a drill sergeant I do
TED Talks and yoga pants I am far too
much for people and I’m actually pretty
annoying these were just some of the
comments on the last TED talk I did now
I could stand here and tell you negative
comments from complete strangers I
brushed it off and I moved on with my
day but then I would be lying when I
first read these comments on my last TED
talk I was devastated
I went home I’m gonna be honest I’m not
much of a crier I went home and I bawled
my eyes out i sat at my computer and I
allowed all my time and energy to go
into this and the bigger picture was i
sat there now keep in mind my first TED
talk was about owning who you are about
loving your life about accepting your
loudness or whatever or whoever it is
that you are and then I was back up
computer questioning everything thinking
maybe I am too loud maybe I should have
worn different pants and I sat there and
I questioned the message that i
authenticate rule II live my life by the
message that I am so passionate about I
put it out to the world and then I
I want to ask you a question and this
goes for everyone in this room whether
you’re in high school whether you’re a
parent whether you’re a business person
have you ever posted anything on social
media – only five minutes later go back
and start checking how many likes to get
who commented who didn’t comment and
then based on the reaction from your
post you start a story in your head oh
maybe I should have used different
lighting maybe I should have posed
different maybe I should have posted a
different picture cuz you know you took
50 pictures to post the one you posted
you’re like oh so true maybe I shouldn’t
have even posted at all and you have
based the story off the reaction of
other people or how about this
have you ever found yourself an hour
into scrolling on your phone to only
look up and start to feel inadequate
about who you are you start
second-guessing your body ah I do need
to lose weight I am too fat I am too
thin I am too big I am too small I’m too
old too many wrinkles too much this to
me you start second-guessing your own
business because you’re obsessing about
other people’s businesses oh I’m not
doing that right maybe I should do this
maybe I should do that you have spent
this time scrolling to only second-guess
everything about you based on their
people’s reality we will compare our own
families our own children our own selves
to what people are posting or how about
this have you ever focused so much on
the negative that you completely
bypassed the positive this is exactly
what I did when I started reading the
comments online on my first TED talk I
became so consumed by the negative
comments that I completely bypassed this
community I completely bypassed the
people that want to lift each other up
the people who have positive
to say and you know what we’ve all been
there you could have ninety-nine people
tell you how great you are how great
your business is how great you’re a
mother your father your this your that
one person says something negative and
it’s all we focus on this is not how we
evolved comparing ourselves to others
basing our success on a number of likes
and focusing so much on the negative
that we bypassed the positive we’ve got
to change this mindset this perspective
and we’ve got to change this
conversation this is a universal message
it doesn’t matter if you’re in high
school or you’re a parent or you are
somebody that stands up here and does
TED Talks there’s going to be a point or
many points in your life which I’m just
going to be honest people are gonna be
mean somebody’s gonna say something or
do something that’s gonna knock you back
you’re gonna be moving forward and all
of a sudden you might get sideswiped but
here is how a community evolves by each
and every one of us realizing we cannot
change other people’s energy actions
what they post on the internet but what
we can do is decide how long we
participate in it so today I’m gonna
give you three ways to evolve as a
community on social media but also in
your everyday life but I need to know
hmmm I don’t know if you guys have heard
of me
but I’m too loud and I got my yoga pants
we have to be the change we have to
stand up for ourselves and stand up for
promote what you love instead of bashing
what you hate put out to the world what
you love if you don’t like something
move on from it if you find yourself
wrapped up and negative comments and
negative people walk away turn your
phone off
leave the conversation this is online in
in your own life if you’re hanging
around people who don’t lift you up who
don’t make you feel good move on promote
what you love instead of bashing what
you hate number two I want you to
unfollow anyone that makes you
second-guess who you are yeah you can
clap for that that’s a good one yeah so
simple right you guys are all like oh I
never thought about that yeah that’s
good but why do we do this and we will
sit and we will become consumed you
think looking at somebody else’s body
that makes you feel insecure is gonna
give you the motivation it’s not
spending hours comparing your business
to somebody else’s isn’t going to help
your business and that leads me to you
have to take back your power you have to
realize that the two most precious
things we have are our time and energy
and too much of it is being spent on
negativity comparisons and judgment and
we are going to be the change so here it
is today
I ask that you take back your power
everybody stand up at any moment you
need to realize you have the power to
walk away you have the power to unfollow
and you have the power to decide where
your energy and your time goes so I’m
gonna end this Tugg TED talk just like I
did my last one obviously I wore the
same outfit because I believe in this
message more today than I did two years
ago
I believe we have to love who we are we
have to live who we are and we have to
own who we are so what I’m gonna ask two
things when I say quit this is what
you’re gonna do you’re gonna go like
this you’re like I didn’t wear the right
shoes yes you did now here’s the thing
I’m gonna say quick feet you’re gonna go
like this when I say drop you go ha and
you just come right back up don’t go too
low don’t go yeah parents you’re doing
this to okay but here’s the thing we’re
gonna drop something this is where would
we gain our power we’re gonna drop the
judgment we’re gonna compare us in and
we’re gonna drop the insecurities all
the negative comments every negative
thought that you’ve had
you’re gonna leave in this room and I
will take care of it quick feet go quick
feet go I want to hear this room shake
come on come on come on
ha okay okay okay
that was good okay all right that was
good turn to somebody get my high five
turn to somebody get my high five in the
all right all right
oh we’re not done we’re not done okay
all right we’re gonna do that one more
time I’m gonna go quick feet ha quick
feet huh and I need to hear you ready
quick feet go creepy tail come on this
is where we drop it in the back I can
alright here it is now so good so good
people
I had twin girls seven months ago guess
what I’ll back here it when I say you
are you say awesome ready you are okay
okay that was good a little bit more
today’s the day you take your power back
because the opinion that really matters
is yours
I’m Jenny schatzel thank you so much [Applause]