trust
resolve intimacy three things that we
can use to build bridges unfortunately
humans have this great ability to burn
bridges now a young man in 2004
destroyed the most precious relationship
to him why it was all due to his self
sabotaging feelings thoughts and actions
his saving grace was the art the book
called the art of happiness now when you
read this book when you open it the
first thing it talks about is the
ultimate goal for any individual any
human being is happiness that joy and as
you read through that book it talks
about the sweetest emotion that a human
can give to themselves and to others is
love and although these things are great
but the cool message in that book is the
miracle of compassion how the miracle of
compassion allows you to have that
sweetest emotion called love and this
allows you to have happiness now when we
look around in the animal kingdom
for example the mighty elephant shows
compassion how does it do that when an
elephant dies all the other elephants
gather together and mourn over the death
of the elephant in fact what’s been
discovered is they also visit the bones
of this departed elephant something
which we see in humans we mourn over our
loved ones and we visit the shrine
you’ve got the lovely dog and my family
used to have a dog called dodgy it’s a
dodgy name but we loved that name and
the beauty about this dog was whenever I
felt low it would come to me and it
would Pat me and it would do its best to
make me feel better that was compassion
the thing which we used to say about
dodgy was I wish only that he could talk
in fact they’ve been done they’ve been
experiments done on rats and they’ve
discovered rats have compassion for each
other now that’s very surprising
especially especially when they’re
viewed as vermin’s
yet they show compassion some people
have dubbed these rats as compassionate
rodents in fact when we look through
history
you’ve got people around the globe I’m
talking from one end to the other end
who do they work or did they work
through compassion dr. Martin Luther
King Nelson Mandela the Lai Lama all
through compassion that’s what they have
been doing all their lives and it’s
strange that even though we see so many
examples of compassion we are still not
compassionate enough why why is that
case now for some reason we have this
apathy towards compassion we distance
ourselves from compassion thinking
it’s weak its wimpish and it’s all about
pity the reason being for some for some
people or many people is because when
you lift the mask you discover there’s a
lot of bitterness bitterness because of
problems suffering issues which have
happened in their life in the
relationship or in the work or business
so they feel this compassion is simply
soft and goog re you know they don’t
cannot associate to it when when we look
but when we look around the world we see
compassion insert with certain figures
and I’m sure the people in your family
you will see who had this compassion as
well now what happens is when I do we
why do we have this conflict of
compassion the simple reason is because
the brain and the heart are not
integrated unfortunately our education
system the way we’ve been brought up in
fact what we see around us there’s a lot
of focus on the left brains there’s
nothing wrong with it it’s absolutely
great the brain is an amazing amazing
instrument and it allows you to logic
that reasoning that creativity that
innovation but we forget about the heart
and if you were to look yourself into
your life you will see yes I want to do
something I want to achieve something
the brain does all the calculation the
data analysis but it’s that heart which
takes you ahead the passion comes from
here not from there
and yet we stay away from compassion so
what I would like to do with all of you
is a very simple exercise it’s in three
parts and it simply involves you to move
into this state of compassion it’s just
helping you move into that state of
compassion so here’s the first thing I
would request you to do the first thing
which I’m going to request you to do is
just look around the room and smile at
someone you are not aware of just look
around the room and just smile give them
that genuine smile you can look at the
back as well not just at me so you can
look back left right side and just give
that gentle smile great here’s the next
thing which I wouldn’t request you to do
and the next thing is I would like you
to take your hands and put them together
like this and just rest them wherever
you feel okay great and I would like you
to focus between that gap in your hands
so just focus in there and close your
eyes please and just breathe just
awesome okay you can open your eyes
gently and now in your own mind I would
like you to say thank you for all that
you’ve received in life
all that you’re receiving in life all
that you will receive in life just be
grateful for that now when we look at
compassion there’s it needs to be
clarified what it’s all about
now compassion goes beyond sympathy
sympathy is about wallowing in your
doesn’t really help anyone there’s the
time in place for it but when we stay in
it too much it’s not helpful on the
other hand you’ve got empathy it’s great
it’s wonderful it’s a shift from
sympathy to empathy you understand
what’s going on but that’s just so lace
it’s not the solution and this is where
compassion comes in compassion allows
you to find a solution
it is kindness it is warmth it takes you
towards a solution not so less we are
looking for solutions in life in one way
or the other beer in our lives beer in
our relationships or beer in our
business or work so when we look at
compassion people often say to me hey or
head this is a bit wishy-washy it does
not make sense to us and they always say
to me where’s the evidence where’s the
scientific evidence and for me honestly
I know compassion is the foundation of
all of us it’s something which allows us
to build that build those bridges it
allows us to have that trust that
resolve that intimacy now for your sake
I discovered through the years people
who actually talk about compassion from
a scientific perspective or have gone
deep into it and one of those people was
Charles Darwin Charles Darwin is very
well known for survival of the fittest
but when darker Keltner he was doing his
research for his book he discovered
Charles Darwin was all about compassion
kindness and warmth which we are not
taught in our education we are we do not
see things written about it we have to
discover ourselves that’s Charles Darwin
the father of evolution telling us
compassion is
the key let’s forget about Charles
Darwin for a minute just forget about
him and let’s look at someone something
else
you’ve got Stanford medicine as a
massive Institute they have their own
Research Center their own research
center for compassion
they have spent time money effort into
research of compassion Wow and still we
as individuals as a society as a as a
community as business leaders ignore
compassion in fact if you go further you
have these two wonderful individuals and
Ruby Newburgh and then you have Mark
Robert Waldman they have this book
called words can change your brain and
when you read the synopsis of the book
it says compassionate communication not
effective communication not business
communication not relationship
communication it says compassionate
communication another example from the
scientific world how compassion is the
foundation for us let’s go back to that
one individual which I spoke in the
binning who actually destroyed his
precious relationship now he had an
option to go for the path of bitterness
like many do or take the path of
compassion he decided to take the path
of compassion and when he took that path
of compassion he learned many things and
he still keeps on learning numerous
things and there’s three things which he
taught me and the first is when you are
in that state of compassion you open the
gates to social what is social social is
a Japanese word
meeting a beginner’s mind no matter what
you do in life be it your relationship
work or business look at it from a
perspective of a beginner no matter how
what experience you have no matter if
you’re an expert in the field always
look at from a beginner’s mind in simple
words it’s telling you even a fool can
teach you something the second thing
which this individual has taught me is
you start blossoming in many different
ways and instead of focusing on what
they call what do you I want in life you
know people talk about this I see a lot
of motivational inspirational speakers
trainers coaches talk about what do you
want in life once are never ending their
never ending their desires which are
never ending that’s humans but what when
you’re going to a state of compassion
you shift your focus to what is
important to me in my life so you start
focusing on what is important to me in
my life and you see a change in yourself
where you actually move towards what is
my purpose in life which many people
speak about and finally the third thing
it’s very easy to throw something which
is broken very easy just to throw it
away but how about fixing it just like
Avast when you fix it up when you break
it and it’s you fix it up and you fix it
with gold and silver so when you’re
broke when you’re suffering when you’re
in pain be it for your life your
relationships or your business
how about applying that
gold and silver called compassion to
yourself and you will see you will be
much more beautiful bolder and stronger
so when you look at compassion it allows
you to have trust it allows you to
resolve and it allows you to have
intimacy this is what allows us to build
bridges thank you very much for your
time [Applause]
resolve intimacy three things that we
can use to build bridges unfortunately
humans have this great ability to burn
bridges now a young man in 2004
destroyed the most precious relationship
to him why it was all due to his self
sabotaging feelings thoughts and actions
his saving grace was the art the book
called the art of happiness now when you
read this book when you open it the
first thing it talks about is the
ultimate goal for any individual any
human being is happiness that joy and as
you read through that book it talks
about the sweetest emotion that a human
can give to themselves and to others is
love and although these things are great
but the cool message in that book is the
miracle of compassion how the miracle of
compassion allows you to have that
sweetest emotion called love and this
allows you to have happiness now when we
look around in the animal kingdom
for example the mighty elephant shows
compassion how does it do that when an
elephant dies all the other elephants
gather together and mourn over the death
of the elephant in fact what’s been
discovered is they also visit the bones
of this departed elephant something
which we see in humans we mourn over our
loved ones and we visit the shrine
you’ve got the lovely dog and my family
used to have a dog called dodgy it’s a
dodgy name but we loved that name and
the beauty about this dog was whenever I
felt low it would come to me and it
would Pat me and it would do its best to
make me feel better that was compassion
the thing which we used to say about
dodgy was I wish only that he could talk
in fact they’ve been done they’ve been
experiments done on rats and they’ve
discovered rats have compassion for each
other now that’s very surprising
especially especially when they’re
viewed as vermin’s
yet they show compassion some people
have dubbed these rats as compassionate
rodents in fact when we look through
history
you’ve got people around the globe I’m
talking from one end to the other end
who do they work or did they work
through compassion dr. Martin Luther
King Nelson Mandela the Lai Lama all
through compassion that’s what they have
been doing all their lives and it’s
strange that even though we see so many
examples of compassion we are still not
compassionate enough why why is that
case now for some reason we have this
apathy towards compassion we distance
ourselves from compassion thinking
it’s weak its wimpish and it’s all about
pity the reason being for some for some
people or many people is because when
you lift the mask you discover there’s a
lot of bitterness bitterness because of
problems suffering issues which have
happened in their life in the
relationship or in the work or business
so they feel this compassion is simply
soft and goog re you know they don’t
cannot associate to it when when we look
but when we look around the world we see
compassion insert with certain figures
and I’m sure the people in your family
you will see who had this compassion as
well now what happens is when I do we
why do we have this conflict of
compassion the simple reason is because
the brain and the heart are not
integrated unfortunately our education
system the way we’ve been brought up in
fact what we see around us there’s a lot
of focus on the left brains there’s
nothing wrong with it it’s absolutely
great the brain is an amazing amazing
instrument and it allows you to logic
that reasoning that creativity that
innovation but we forget about the heart
and if you were to look yourself into
your life you will see yes I want to do
something I want to achieve something
the brain does all the calculation the
data analysis but it’s that heart which
takes you ahead the passion comes from
here not from there
and yet we stay away from compassion so
what I would like to do with all of you
is a very simple exercise it’s in three
parts and it simply involves you to move
into this state of compassion it’s just
helping you move into that state of
compassion so here’s the first thing I
would request you to do the first thing
which I’m going to request you to do is
just look around the room and smile at
someone you are not aware of just look
around the room and just smile give them
that genuine smile you can look at the
back as well not just at me so you can
look back left right side and just give
that gentle smile great here’s the next
thing which I wouldn’t request you to do
and the next thing is I would like you
to take your hands and put them together
like this and just rest them wherever
you feel okay great and I would like you
to focus between that gap in your hands
so just focus in there and close your
eyes please and just breathe just
awesome okay you can open your eyes
gently and now in your own mind I would
like you to say thank you for all that
you’ve received in life
all that you’re receiving in life all
that you will receive in life just be
grateful for that now when we look at
compassion there’s it needs to be
clarified what it’s all about
now compassion goes beyond sympathy
sympathy is about wallowing in your
doesn’t really help anyone there’s the
time in place for it but when we stay in
it too much it’s not helpful on the
other hand you’ve got empathy it’s great
it’s wonderful it’s a shift from
sympathy to empathy you understand
what’s going on but that’s just so lace
it’s not the solution and this is where
compassion comes in compassion allows
you to find a solution
it is kindness it is warmth it takes you
towards a solution not so less we are
looking for solutions in life in one way
or the other beer in our lives beer in
our relationships or beer in our
business or work so when we look at
compassion people often say to me hey or
head this is a bit wishy-washy it does
not make sense to us and they always say
to me where’s the evidence where’s the
scientific evidence and for me honestly
I know compassion is the foundation of
all of us it’s something which allows us
to build that build those bridges it
allows us to have that trust that
resolve that intimacy now for your sake
I discovered through the years people
who actually talk about compassion from
a scientific perspective or have gone
deep into it and one of those people was
Charles Darwin Charles Darwin is very
well known for survival of the fittest
but when darker Keltner he was doing his
research for his book he discovered
Charles Darwin was all about compassion
kindness and warmth which we are not
taught in our education we are we do not
see things written about it we have to
discover ourselves that’s Charles Darwin
the father of evolution telling us
compassion is
the key let’s forget about Charles
Darwin for a minute just forget about
him and let’s look at someone something
else
you’ve got Stanford medicine as a
massive Institute they have their own
Research Center their own research
center for compassion
they have spent time money effort into
research of compassion Wow and still we
as individuals as a society as a as a
community as business leaders ignore
compassion in fact if you go further you
have these two wonderful individuals and
Ruby Newburgh and then you have Mark
Robert Waldman they have this book
called words can change your brain and
when you read the synopsis of the book
it says compassionate communication not
effective communication not business
communication not relationship
communication it says compassionate
communication another example from the
scientific world how compassion is the
foundation for us let’s go back to that
one individual which I spoke in the
binning who actually destroyed his
precious relationship now he had an
option to go for the path of bitterness
like many do or take the path of
compassion he decided to take the path
of compassion and when he took that path
of compassion he learned many things and
he still keeps on learning numerous
things and there’s three things which he
taught me and the first is when you are
in that state of compassion you open the
gates to social what is social social is
a Japanese word
meeting a beginner’s mind no matter what
you do in life be it your relationship
work or business look at it from a
perspective of a beginner no matter how
what experience you have no matter if
you’re an expert in the field always
look at from a beginner’s mind in simple
words it’s telling you even a fool can
teach you something the second thing
which this individual has taught me is
you start blossoming in many different
ways and instead of focusing on what
they call what do you I want in life you
know people talk about this I see a lot
of motivational inspirational speakers
trainers coaches talk about what do you
want in life once are never ending their
never ending their desires which are
never ending that’s humans but what when
you’re going to a state of compassion
you shift your focus to what is
important to me in my life so you start
focusing on what is important to me in
my life and you see a change in yourself
where you actually move towards what is
my purpose in life which many people
speak about and finally the third thing
it’s very easy to throw something which
is broken very easy just to throw it
away but how about fixing it just like
Avast when you fix it up when you break
it and it’s you fix it up and you fix it
with gold and silver so when you’re
broke when you’re suffering when you’re
in pain be it for your life your
relationships or your business
how about applying that
gold and silver called compassion to
yourself and you will see you will be
much more beautiful bolder and stronger
so when you look at compassion it allows
you to have trust it allows you to
resolve and it allows you to have
intimacy this is what allows us to build
bridges thank you very much for your
time [Applause]
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