[Applause]
[Music]
I would like to ask everyone to gently
settle into your chairs softly close
your eyes and prepare to take one deep
connecting expansive breath with me
inhaling filling up completely all the
way to the top and just pause there and
feel that expansive stillness within you
and exhale just let it all go
notice how you all softened into your
bodies in just one breath just one
breath can have a transformational
impact on thoughts and feelings in the
moment just one breath the healing
powers of breath work have been used by
countless cultures in as many countries
around the world for as long as people
experiencing the human condition of
suffering have been in search of higher
meaning and self healing breath work has
been the bridge between body and soul
and sickness and health for thousands of
years but many of us in today’s
fast-paced cultures have lost touch with
this idea of breathing to thrive most if
not all of us breathe to just barely
survive for the majority of my life all
I’ve ever done is breathe into the very
upper portions of my chest this
autonomous breath to just survive never
once did I breathe with the intention or
focus to thrive the majority of my life
has been pretty rocky just like it can
be for so many of us when my mom was
seven months pregnant with me my older
brother drowned in an unfortunate
accident he was just over a year old so
I came into this beautiful world
experiencing the same deep grief and
sadness and overwhelming sense of loss
that my loving mother had experienced
from the moment she discovered she lost
her first son my dad was recently back
from multiple tours in Vietnam and
suffering from his own severe
post-traumatic stress disorder from the
horrors and tragedies of war and the
emotional devastation of losing his
first son things were pretty rocky in my
family
as a child I grew up in a constant state
of rage anxiety and depression we moved
to ten different towns in different
states by the time I was in the fifth
grade so I struggled making and keeping
friends my parents divorced when I was
about 12 years old and at the age of 14
I discovered alcohol and the effects
they had on me kept me drinking and
drugging until I was 35 years old I was
actually arrested 17 different times for
different alcohol related citations by
the time I was 25 years old I know I was
a bit of a slow learner
the lodges didn’t seem to understand
that all I was trying to do was have a
little bit of fun and escaped the me
that I didn’t like being I graduated
from Oregon State University in 1999 and
seeking warmer climates moved to San
Diego California I quickly found a job
as a construction project manager for a
midsize development firm and climb the
ladder of success I got married I bought
the home with a view I started saving
from my financial future and everything
was on the up-and-up
in 2007 when the real estate market
collapsed I lost everything I had gained
down there
I lost the home the marriage the income
stream and most importantly I lost my
sense of self and things just kept
getting worse and worse
I began drinking and drugging non-stop
in an effort to hide from the reality of
this situation that I was in in life one
night in the deep black out at the age
of 35 years old I attempted suicide when
I came to the next morning I realized
what I had done I felt this deep
overwhelming sense of fear and I knew
that it was time to completely change my
life that very morning I checked into
outpatient rehab I walked through the
doors of Alcoholics Anonymous and I just
spent the next 11 months living in San
Diego by myself working on me in this
new commitment to a life in sobriety at
the end of that 12 months I knew in my
heart that it was time to move home so I
packed up what little I had left in the
small u-haul trailer and headed north to
beautiful Bend Oregon and I’ve been on
the sober and healing journey ever since
that terrifying morning almost nine
years ago one morning about two years
into my sobriety I pulled up to my
favorite morning America
stop to grab my cup of coffee and the
friendly barista saw me wince in pain as
I could barely reach my arm out of the
window to grab my beverage she looked at
me and asked what was wrong and I said
oh I got this bad back had been haunting
me forever and this morning was just
especially bad she smiled at me with
compassion and suggested I go do yoga
yoga me yoga yoga’s for guys who wear
Birkenstocks and listen to the Beatles
all day I am NOT a yoga guy thank you
I’ll take the coffee and go she handed
me my change and bluntly said don’t be a
tool go do yoga I’m a fly-fishing
whitewater rafting guide a steelhead
chasing junkie in a custom homebuilder
and well I’m everything that yoga is not
I thought to myself as I drove away but
I also realized in my heart that I was
sick and tired of being mostly sickish
sore and tired all the time and also
knew what I had been doing and what I
was currently doing wasn’t wasn’t
working I wasn’t happy joyous and free
on this path in life I was on so the
following morning I checked into my
first one and a half hour of vinyasa
yoga class I snuck into the back corner
of the room I didn’t utter a single word
to anybody I prayed to God nobody which
would recognize me and I gave it all I
had that first class kicked my ass I
almost blacked out twice
with reoccurring thoughts of I’m freakin
dying here how do you even do this
what’d you just say and who are you
people I managed to make it through the
first class I didn’t walk out in
frustration I didn’t run away in fear
matter of fact within 30 minutes I knew
I was right where I was supposed to be
what I experienced in this first class
to grace to flow the friendliness and
most importantly the energy and what I
heard this teacher sharing was unlike
anything I had ever heard felt or
experienced before up until that point
in time in my life in the final pose
called shavasana we were asked to lie
down and and connect to the stillness of
our breath something inside of me moved
and I began to cry in a room full of
people I didn’t know in a place I had
never been what the hell is going on I
screamed to myself in silence but I
decided to continue to lie there and let
whatever it was just happened and in the
final moments of that last pose I
settled into the stillness of my breath
for the first time in my life I crawled
out of there
awed perplexed and committed to return I
began to go three to five times per week
after that I wanted what they had
I wanted change I wanted transformation
in my life and I begin to hear the word
breathe repeated over and over in class
after class and I’ve since discovered
that everything in life and yoga and
love and happiness is about connecting
to the breath so I would like to once
again ask everybody to gently settle
into their chairs release any tension
that you’re holding softly close your
eyes and begin to inhale filling up
completely all the way to the top and
feel that beautiful stillness within you
and exhale just let it all go about
three years into my yoga and meditation
practice I got an email from one of my
favorite yoga teachers inviting me
to do a breath work class breath work
I’d never even heard of such a thing and
with my curiosity level on high without
any further thought or investigation I
decided to go when I got into the room
that night the guy leading the class he
was not my teacher and dear friend asked
me have you ever done breath work before
I looked up in him and responded yes I
meditate every day he looked back down
at me and said well good this is a
little different than your a seated
meditation practice so once we get
started just by on your mat breathe as
instructed
breathe with with as much effort as you
can and be willing to let some of your
go and you should be okay
I look back up at him and thought to
myself okay weirdo whatever how hard can
it be to just lay down and breathe there
were about 30 people in the classroom
that night he began to explain how we
were gonna breathe that we would breathe
through our mouths and not our noses
that we would fill up her abdominal
cavity like a balloon and then top off
at our chest and just softly exhale and
that’s all we had to do for about 6
songs or 25 minutes again this all
seemed really easy and doable to me I
mean how hard can it be to lay down and
breathe he also explained that the more
effort we put into the breathing the act
of breathing part of the class the
bigger the payoff would be at the end
and that we had to be willing to set an
intention to let some of that stuff that
we carried that no longer served us go
so the lights went off the music came on
and we all began breathing within just a
couple of moments I began to feel the
oxygen moving throughout my body I felt
cold in some places and warm and others
my legs my arms were tingling my hands
did these really weird claw like things
just like he said they would in the
middle of the class he asked us all to
scream and what came out of me was the
loudest deepest guttural soul roar I
have ever experienced in my life it came
from someplace I have never been I
didn’t started shaking and then I
started crying and then I realized the
whole room was crying and it was in the
depths of this letting our sheykh oh
that I felt this overwhelming sense of
compassion for everybody around me and I
realized that we all deal with the hard
edges of life
that we all carry pain and suffering and
that we’re all way more alike than we
are Anna like and I also realized most
importantly that I wasn’t alone in the
final moments of that first class he led
us into several hard opening moments and
we were able to focus on all the things
and people in our lives that we loved
and were grateful for and I felt my life
change on the mat I honestly felt pure
love and true gratitude radiating from
this body for the first time ever I came
out of this class with the knowing that
I had discovered what I’d been in search
of for the majority of my life this
means to let the dark heavy energy that
I carried and all of the things that
kept me in suffering go
you see I’m used to kind of living a
life that looks like this I’m pretty
much curled up I’ve always been
protecting the old heart hurts the past
heart aches the I’ve wallet in the
relationships of past financial failures
relationship failures I’ve hid behind
all the self-defeating beliefs that I’ve
carried about myself that have kept me
stuck with who I’ve always been
in the experience of this first class I
understood that that’s not who I was and
that’s not who I am I got home that
night in a state of once again I wonder
and curiosity and I decided to make a
commitment to me and my breath I did
this breathing practice every single day
for 70 straight days and my life will
never be what it used to be and a little
less than 90 days of breathing I was
able to step off of anxiety and
depression medication that I’ve been
more on than off for over the past 25
years and I have not had to sit neither
one of those daily nightmares and suffer
and over a year do I still get uptight
at times
yes I do do I sit and stew and stuff I
shouldn’t yes I do that too at times
have I reverted to the old me yep I have
but I know whenever I revert to old
thought or behavior patterns all I have
to do is go home lie on my mat and
breathe for transformation I’m not
perfect and neither is my practice but
fortunately I’m not trying to be all I’m
really trying to do is be a little bit
better to me and all the people that I
hold near and dear in my heart today
than I was yesterday and practicing this
healing form of breathing has
drastically improved the quality of all
of the relationships that I have in my
life this past August I was asked to be
a fly fishing guide on a magical
spiritual awareness trip on the Middle
Fork of the Salmon River during the week
of the solar eclipse when the trip host
and yoga instructor discovered that I
was in training to be a breath Coast
they asked if I would lead a class for
their guests on this special trip
without any hesitation I said yes to see
these beautiful Souls lie on their mats
on one of the most beautiful banks on
any River in any stay and breathe to see
them step past some of their old fears
and find light and love and courage and
heal in some small way in this first
class is something that I will hold near
and dear and cherish for the rest of my
life I know that this breath work has
improved the quality of my life
drastically and I know that if it can
help me overcome 40 years of suffering
and anxiety and depression if it can
help me step past all of those years of
self-defeating beliefs of saying I’m not
good enough I’m not enough you don’t
deserve and find love and gratitude that
it can help anyone I am blessed and
honored to help facilitate the journey
of those is in search of discovering
their best selves by doing nothing more
than what was shared with me when I
needed it most the gift of
transformation through breathing so I
would like to once again in closing ask
everybody to settle into their chairs
release any tension that you’re holding
softly close your eyes and take the
deepest loving fullest breath you can
inhaling
filling up completely pausing at the top
and just feel that loving stillness
within you and exhale just let it all go
feel free to open your eyes namaste
[Applause]
[Music]
[Music]
I would like to ask everyone to gently
settle into your chairs softly close
your eyes and prepare to take one deep
connecting expansive breath with me
inhaling filling up completely all the
way to the top and just pause there and
feel that expansive stillness within you
and exhale just let it all go
notice how you all softened into your
bodies in just one breath just one
breath can have a transformational
impact on thoughts and feelings in the
moment just one breath the healing
powers of breath work have been used by
countless cultures in as many countries
around the world for as long as people
experiencing the human condition of
suffering have been in search of higher
meaning and self healing breath work has
been the bridge between body and soul
and sickness and health for thousands of
years but many of us in today’s
fast-paced cultures have lost touch with
this idea of breathing to thrive most if
not all of us breathe to just barely
survive for the majority of my life all
I’ve ever done is breathe into the very
upper portions of my chest this
autonomous breath to just survive never
once did I breathe with the intention or
focus to thrive the majority of my life
has been pretty rocky just like it can
be for so many of us when my mom was
seven months pregnant with me my older
brother drowned in an unfortunate
accident he was just over a year old so
I came into this beautiful world
experiencing the same deep grief and
sadness and overwhelming sense of loss
that my loving mother had experienced
from the moment she discovered she lost
her first son my dad was recently back
from multiple tours in Vietnam and
suffering from his own severe
post-traumatic stress disorder from the
horrors and tragedies of war and the
emotional devastation of losing his
first son things were pretty rocky in my
family
as a child I grew up in a constant state
of rage anxiety and depression we moved
to ten different towns in different
states by the time I was in the fifth
grade so I struggled making and keeping
friends my parents divorced when I was
about 12 years old and at the age of 14
I discovered alcohol and the effects
they had on me kept me drinking and
drugging until I was 35 years old I was
actually arrested 17 different times for
different alcohol related citations by
the time I was 25 years old I know I was
a bit of a slow learner
the lodges didn’t seem to understand
that all I was trying to do was have a
little bit of fun and escaped the me
that I didn’t like being I graduated
from Oregon State University in 1999 and
seeking warmer climates moved to San
Diego California I quickly found a job
as a construction project manager for a
midsize development firm and climb the
ladder of success I got married I bought
the home with a view I started saving
from my financial future and everything
was on the up-and-up
in 2007 when the real estate market
collapsed I lost everything I had gained
down there
I lost the home the marriage the income
stream and most importantly I lost my
sense of self and things just kept
getting worse and worse
I began drinking and drugging non-stop
in an effort to hide from the reality of
this situation that I was in in life one
night in the deep black out at the age
of 35 years old I attempted suicide when
I came to the next morning I realized
what I had done I felt this deep
overwhelming sense of fear and I knew
that it was time to completely change my
life that very morning I checked into
outpatient rehab I walked through the
doors of Alcoholics Anonymous and I just
spent the next 11 months living in San
Diego by myself working on me in this
new commitment to a life in sobriety at
the end of that 12 months I knew in my
heart that it was time to move home so I
packed up what little I had left in the
small u-haul trailer and headed north to
beautiful Bend Oregon and I’ve been on
the sober and healing journey ever since
that terrifying morning almost nine
years ago one morning about two years
into my sobriety I pulled up to my
favorite morning America
stop to grab my cup of coffee and the
friendly barista saw me wince in pain as
I could barely reach my arm out of the
window to grab my beverage she looked at
me and asked what was wrong and I said
oh I got this bad back had been haunting
me forever and this morning was just
especially bad she smiled at me with
compassion and suggested I go do yoga
yoga me yoga yoga’s for guys who wear
Birkenstocks and listen to the Beatles
all day I am NOT a yoga guy thank you
I’ll take the coffee and go she handed
me my change and bluntly said don’t be a
tool go do yoga I’m a fly-fishing
whitewater rafting guide a steelhead
chasing junkie in a custom homebuilder
and well I’m everything that yoga is not
I thought to myself as I drove away but
I also realized in my heart that I was
sick and tired of being mostly sickish
sore and tired all the time and also
knew what I had been doing and what I
was currently doing wasn’t wasn’t
working I wasn’t happy joyous and free
on this path in life I was on so the
following morning I checked into my
first one and a half hour of vinyasa
yoga class I snuck into the back corner
of the room I didn’t utter a single word
to anybody I prayed to God nobody which
would recognize me and I gave it all I
had that first class kicked my ass I
almost blacked out twice
with reoccurring thoughts of I’m freakin
dying here how do you even do this
what’d you just say and who are you
people I managed to make it through the
first class I didn’t walk out in
frustration I didn’t run away in fear
matter of fact within 30 minutes I knew
I was right where I was supposed to be
what I experienced in this first class
to grace to flow the friendliness and
most importantly the energy and what I
heard this teacher sharing was unlike
anything I had ever heard felt or
experienced before up until that point
in time in my life in the final pose
called shavasana we were asked to lie
down and and connect to the stillness of
our breath something inside of me moved
and I began to cry in a room full of
people I didn’t know in a place I had
never been what the hell is going on I
screamed to myself in silence but I
decided to continue to lie there and let
whatever it was just happened and in the
final moments of that last pose I
settled into the stillness of my breath
for the first time in my life I crawled
out of there
awed perplexed and committed to return I
began to go three to five times per week
after that I wanted what they had
I wanted change I wanted transformation
in my life and I begin to hear the word
breathe repeated over and over in class
after class and I’ve since discovered
that everything in life and yoga and
love and happiness is about connecting
to the breath so I would like to once
again ask everybody to gently settle
into their chairs release any tension
that you’re holding softly close your
eyes and begin to inhale filling up
completely all the way to the top and
feel that beautiful stillness within you
and exhale just let it all go about
three years into my yoga and meditation
practice I got an email from one of my
favorite yoga teachers inviting me
to do a breath work class breath work
I’d never even heard of such a thing and
with my curiosity level on high without
any further thought or investigation I
decided to go when I got into the room
that night the guy leading the class he
was not my teacher and dear friend asked
me have you ever done breath work before
I looked up in him and responded yes I
meditate every day he looked back down
at me and said well good this is a
little different than your a seated
meditation practice so once we get
started just by on your mat breathe as
instructed
breathe with with as much effort as you
can and be willing to let some of your
go and you should be okay
I look back up at him and thought to
myself okay weirdo whatever how hard can
it be to just lay down and breathe there
were about 30 people in the classroom
that night he began to explain how we
were gonna breathe that we would breathe
through our mouths and not our noses
that we would fill up her abdominal
cavity like a balloon and then top off
at our chest and just softly exhale and
that’s all we had to do for about 6
songs or 25 minutes again this all
seemed really easy and doable to me I
mean how hard can it be to lay down and
breathe he also explained that the more
effort we put into the breathing the act
of breathing part of the class the
bigger the payoff would be at the end
and that we had to be willing to set an
intention to let some of that stuff that
we carried that no longer served us go
so the lights went off the music came on
and we all began breathing within just a
couple of moments I began to feel the
oxygen moving throughout my body I felt
cold in some places and warm and others
my legs my arms were tingling my hands
did these really weird claw like things
just like he said they would in the
middle of the class he asked us all to
scream and what came out of me was the
loudest deepest guttural soul roar I
have ever experienced in my life it came
from someplace I have never been I
didn’t started shaking and then I
started crying and then I realized the
whole room was crying and it was in the
depths of this letting our sheykh oh
that I felt this overwhelming sense of
compassion for everybody around me and I
realized that we all deal with the hard
edges of life
that we all carry pain and suffering and
that we’re all way more alike than we
are Anna like and I also realized most
importantly that I wasn’t alone in the
final moments of that first class he led
us into several hard opening moments and
we were able to focus on all the things
and people in our lives that we loved
and were grateful for and I felt my life
change on the mat I honestly felt pure
love and true gratitude radiating from
this body for the first time ever I came
out of this class with the knowing that
I had discovered what I’d been in search
of for the majority of my life this
means to let the dark heavy energy that
I carried and all of the things that
kept me in suffering go
you see I’m used to kind of living a
life that looks like this I’m pretty
much curled up I’ve always been
protecting the old heart hurts the past
heart aches the I’ve wallet in the
relationships of past financial failures
relationship failures I’ve hid behind
all the self-defeating beliefs that I’ve
carried about myself that have kept me
stuck with who I’ve always been
in the experience of this first class I
understood that that’s not who I was and
that’s not who I am I got home that
night in a state of once again I wonder
and curiosity and I decided to make a
commitment to me and my breath I did
this breathing practice every single day
for 70 straight days and my life will
never be what it used to be and a little
less than 90 days of breathing I was
able to step off of anxiety and
depression medication that I’ve been
more on than off for over the past 25
years and I have not had to sit neither
one of those daily nightmares and suffer
and over a year do I still get uptight
at times
yes I do do I sit and stew and stuff I
shouldn’t yes I do that too at times
have I reverted to the old me yep I have
but I know whenever I revert to old
thought or behavior patterns all I have
to do is go home lie on my mat and
breathe for transformation I’m not
perfect and neither is my practice but
fortunately I’m not trying to be all I’m
really trying to do is be a little bit
better to me and all the people that I
hold near and dear in my heart today
than I was yesterday and practicing this
healing form of breathing has
drastically improved the quality of all
of the relationships that I have in my
life this past August I was asked to be
a fly fishing guide on a magical
spiritual awareness trip on the Middle
Fork of the Salmon River during the week
of the solar eclipse when the trip host
and yoga instructor discovered that I
was in training to be a breath Coast
they asked if I would lead a class for
their guests on this special trip
without any hesitation I said yes to see
these beautiful Souls lie on their mats
on one of the most beautiful banks on
any River in any stay and breathe to see
them step past some of their old fears
and find light and love and courage and
heal in some small way in this first
class is something that I will hold near
and dear and cherish for the rest of my
life I know that this breath work has
improved the quality of my life
drastically and I know that if it can
help me overcome 40 years of suffering
and anxiety and depression if it can
help me step past all of those years of
self-defeating beliefs of saying I’m not
good enough I’m not enough you don’t
deserve and find love and gratitude that
it can help anyone I am blessed and
honored to help facilitate the journey
of those is in search of discovering
their best selves by doing nothing more
than what was shared with me when I
needed it most the gift of
transformation through breathing so I
would like to once again in closing ask
everybody to settle into their chairs
release any tension that you’re holding
softly close your eyes and take the
deepest loving fullest breath you can
inhaling
filling up completely pausing at the top
and just feel that loving stillness
within you and exhale just let it all go
feel free to open your eyes namaste
[Applause]
[Music]
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