[Music]
the Golden Rule approach to bullying is
simple do unto others as we would have
them do unto us treat others the way we
would like for them to be treated and
treat others the way they would like to
be treated that’s the victim that’s the
bully that’s the bystander
that’s the upstander that includes
everyone here like share story with you
all regarding a group of middle school
Upward Bound students I give a bullying
presentation to several years ago at a
local State College whenever I close out
my presentations I always open the floor
for questions when I did that this young
girl in the back of the room she was
stuck her arm out frantically back and
forth back and forth and I’m like this
seems like the price is right I said
come on down so she ran down the aisle
jumped on top of the stage I handed her
the microphone and I asked her to
introduce herself and asked the question
she has she said my name is Olivia
nice to meet you Olivia and what’s your
question and immediately her eyes filled
with tears and she looked at me and she
said how do I get them to stop talking
about my mommy how do I get them to stop
talking about my mommy and looked at her
my stomach knotted up and I said Olivia
I think you could help me with this
process do you know what role playing is
yes I do it’s like acting
I said you’re absolutely correct you’re
gonna act the role of the bully and I am
gonna act the role of the victim now
what I need for you to do for me is this
I need you to bring your best mama jokes
I need you to talk about my mama Sidora
Hall John
a woman I love can you do that for me
her head snapped to the left and she
looked at me like I had three heads on
my shoulder and I long furry green tail
and she said no sir I can’t do it
gave her a hand sent her back to her
seat i panted the audience from the
right to the left and I said I need
somebody to come up here on this stage
and talk about my mama and before I
finish the sentence
some curly-haired young boy over there
stood up and I said another contestant
for The Price is Right
so I say come on down so the young man
came down he jumped on top of the stage
I asked him do you have any good momma
jokes and he said in a voice deeper than
mine
yes sir I do these are the rules
there will be no profanity there will be
no touching you will not stop telling
your jokes until I tell you to I may cry
and I may even threaten to beat you up
but under no circumstances will you stop
do you understand yes sir he suddenly
grabs his belt buckle he leaned back yo
mama yo mama that big old fat lady when
she jumps up in the air she gets stuck
how cool is that I started crying
pleased
oh that bothers you ha ha yo mama that
big hippopotamus oh he did this to their
big hippopotamus she has feet so big she
got to wear canoes ha ha ha the room
erupts in laughter and he’s just
laughing he’s having a ball with me I
stopped him at that time I didn’t face
the audience and I asked that group of
middle schoolers who had the power they
said he had the power well why did he
have the power because he made you mad
interesting I said let’s do it again
let’s role play it one more time okay he
said alright then I already told you
that your mama was big and she jumps up
and down and gets stuck what more do you
want me to say about that but I’m gonna
tell you this about your mama feet yo
mama feet I’m so big when she wear heels
every time she strikes the ground she
strikes all everytime I said you know
what when my mama jumps up in the ass is
closer to God hallelujah and regarding
her feet all of us got big feet but mama
got to keep wearing them heels because
if she’s gonna make us rich if she’s
hitting all the other time she the
ground so then I looked for a Livia out
in the crowd I said Olivia who has the
power and I want everyone else to chide
in and they all said I had the power
well how did I have the power because he
didn’t make you mad I am amazed at the
extraordinary capacity of young people
to grasp subjects that we as adults
sometimes can’t grasp ourselves when we
think about bullying bullying has a
negative connotation to it but did you
all know the word bully is Dutch
originating in the 1500s it meant lover
or friend and it was used
interchangeably between men and women
that’s my bully that’s my pal but around
the 1700s it took on another meaning
harasser ruffian the definition of
bullying is verbal social physical and
the mental harassment and taunting of a
person over a period of time and we just
don’t have to say it’s chilled
and adults go through the same thing I
think about my time that I became a
victim how old was I that I can truly
recognize it I was five years old I look
like a pretty well-adjusted fella when
you look at me I’m happy about that
but the age of five an adult family
member and my family molested me as a
child and for 50 years I kept that to
myself but 50 years that was ingrained
in my heart until I decided that I
wanted to say something victims
sometimes don’t know they have a voice
they don’t know what to say I told my
mother and she looked at me with tears
in her eyes and she asked me one
question son how come nobody and I
looked back at my mother with tears in
my eyes and I said mama it’s not your
fault you gave me something that cannot
be taken away you empowered me when you
taught me how to forgive she told me
forgiveness is not for the person that
offends or bully or wounds you
forgiveness is for you me that helped me
walk through the eye of the storm and
come out feeling great on the other side
and for that mom I thank you when I
think about what we can do to address
this bullying phenomenon communication
is very important
with our children with our friends
whomever space we may be occupying I’m
not just talking about that type of
communication where you look at your
watch and someone’s talking and you
don’t feel that they fully vested with
you I’m talking about being fully
present
and you’re listening particularly with
children we cannot allow the children to
come home and shut us out and tell us
everything is okay and go straight up to
their room we as adults and Friends we
must set them down and we must probe to
see what’s going on communication is
very important I called you a lick seer
of life we need to be great role models
for our children but also for our
friends who may be suffering from
bullying as well I like role my role
playing role playing is excellent you’re
gonna play this part I’m gonna played
this part and come up with all type of
scenarios that a child may have to face
in the course of their day even adults
as well look at the videos and the games
our children play and watch many of
these games will desensitize a child and
it’s the same type of child who will go
and shoot up a school and kill their own
peers watch the games they play I really
feel that in order to help a victim move
from being a victim to being empowered
is that we have to invest the time in
them we have to be passionate about
trying to make a change my personal
purpose statement is to inspire impact
and power and help transform those in
out of the space that I occupy that’s
how we do it we can be a hero for
somebody if we just step outside of
ourselves and just embrace them will we
stop bullying no we can’t stop bullying
just like we can’t stop human
trafficking domestic violence or racism
but what can we do we can talk we can
encourage
Shh bullies and victims have some of the
similar characteristics they all need
love and that is what I call the Golden
Rule approach to believe
[Applause]
the Golden Rule approach to bullying is
simple do unto others as we would have
them do unto us treat others the way we
would like for them to be treated and
treat others the way they would like to
be treated that’s the victim that’s the
bully that’s the bystander
that’s the upstander that includes
everyone here like share story with you
all regarding a group of middle school
Upward Bound students I give a bullying
presentation to several years ago at a
local State College whenever I close out
my presentations I always open the floor
for questions when I did that this young
girl in the back of the room she was
stuck her arm out frantically back and
forth back and forth and I’m like this
seems like the price is right I said
come on down so she ran down the aisle
jumped on top of the stage I handed her
the microphone and I asked her to
introduce herself and asked the question
she has she said my name is Olivia
nice to meet you Olivia and what’s your
question and immediately her eyes filled
with tears and she looked at me and she
said how do I get them to stop talking
about my mommy how do I get them to stop
talking about my mommy and looked at her
my stomach knotted up and I said Olivia
I think you could help me with this
process do you know what role playing is
yes I do it’s like acting
I said you’re absolutely correct you’re
gonna act the role of the bully and I am
gonna act the role of the victim now
what I need for you to do for me is this
I need you to bring your best mama jokes
I need you to talk about my mama Sidora
Hall John
a woman I love can you do that for me
her head snapped to the left and she
looked at me like I had three heads on
my shoulder and I long furry green tail
and she said no sir I can’t do it
gave her a hand sent her back to her
seat i panted the audience from the
right to the left and I said I need
somebody to come up here on this stage
and talk about my mama and before I
finish the sentence
some curly-haired young boy over there
stood up and I said another contestant
for The Price is Right
so I say come on down so the young man
came down he jumped on top of the stage
I asked him do you have any good momma
jokes and he said in a voice deeper than
mine
yes sir I do these are the rules
there will be no profanity there will be
no touching you will not stop telling
your jokes until I tell you to I may cry
and I may even threaten to beat you up
but under no circumstances will you stop
do you understand yes sir he suddenly
grabs his belt buckle he leaned back yo
mama yo mama that big old fat lady when
she jumps up in the air she gets stuck
how cool is that I started crying
pleased
oh that bothers you ha ha yo mama that
big hippopotamus oh he did this to their
big hippopotamus she has feet so big she
got to wear canoes ha ha ha the room
erupts in laughter and he’s just
laughing he’s having a ball with me I
stopped him at that time I didn’t face
the audience and I asked that group of
middle schoolers who had the power they
said he had the power well why did he
have the power because he made you mad
interesting I said let’s do it again
let’s role play it one more time okay he
said alright then I already told you
that your mama was big and she jumps up
and down and gets stuck what more do you
want me to say about that but I’m gonna
tell you this about your mama feet yo
mama feet I’m so big when she wear heels
every time she strikes the ground she
strikes all everytime I said you know
what when my mama jumps up in the ass is
closer to God hallelujah and regarding
her feet all of us got big feet but mama
got to keep wearing them heels because
if she’s gonna make us rich if she’s
hitting all the other time she the
ground so then I looked for a Livia out
in the crowd I said Olivia who has the
power and I want everyone else to chide
in and they all said I had the power
well how did I have the power because he
didn’t make you mad I am amazed at the
extraordinary capacity of young people
to grasp subjects that we as adults
sometimes can’t grasp ourselves when we
think about bullying bullying has a
negative connotation to it but did you
all know the word bully is Dutch
originating in the 1500s it meant lover
or friend and it was used
interchangeably between men and women
that’s my bully that’s my pal but around
the 1700s it took on another meaning
harasser ruffian the definition of
bullying is verbal social physical and
the mental harassment and taunting of a
person over a period of time and we just
don’t have to say it’s chilled
and adults go through the same thing I
think about my time that I became a
victim how old was I that I can truly
recognize it I was five years old I look
like a pretty well-adjusted fella when
you look at me I’m happy about that
but the age of five an adult family
member and my family molested me as a
child and for 50 years I kept that to
myself but 50 years that was ingrained
in my heart until I decided that I
wanted to say something victims
sometimes don’t know they have a voice
they don’t know what to say I told my
mother and she looked at me with tears
in her eyes and she asked me one
question son how come nobody and I
looked back at my mother with tears in
my eyes and I said mama it’s not your
fault you gave me something that cannot
be taken away you empowered me when you
taught me how to forgive she told me
forgiveness is not for the person that
offends or bully or wounds you
forgiveness is for you me that helped me
walk through the eye of the storm and
come out feeling great on the other side
and for that mom I thank you when I
think about what we can do to address
this bullying phenomenon communication
is very important
with our children with our friends
whomever space we may be occupying I’m
not just talking about that type of
communication where you look at your
watch and someone’s talking and you
don’t feel that they fully vested with
you I’m talking about being fully
present
and you’re listening particularly with
children we cannot allow the children to
come home and shut us out and tell us
everything is okay and go straight up to
their room we as adults and Friends we
must set them down and we must probe to
see what’s going on communication is
very important I called you a lick seer
of life we need to be great role models
for our children but also for our
friends who may be suffering from
bullying as well I like role my role
playing role playing is excellent you’re
gonna play this part I’m gonna played
this part and come up with all type of
scenarios that a child may have to face
in the course of their day even adults
as well look at the videos and the games
our children play and watch many of
these games will desensitize a child and
it’s the same type of child who will go
and shoot up a school and kill their own
peers watch the games they play I really
feel that in order to help a victim move
from being a victim to being empowered
is that we have to invest the time in
them we have to be passionate about
trying to make a change my personal
purpose statement is to inspire impact
and power and help transform those in
out of the space that I occupy that’s
how we do it we can be a hero for
somebody if we just step outside of
ourselves and just embrace them will we
stop bullying no we can’t stop bullying
just like we can’t stop human
trafficking domestic violence or racism
but what can we do we can talk we can
encourage
Shh bullies and victims have some of the
similar characteristics they all need
love and that is what I call the Golden
Rule approach to believe
[Applause]
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