you
[Music]
a person’s 40th birthday is quite a
milestone this is the birthday that is
seen as the marker of a person’s
achievements a time of reflection most
have a job where they’ve been employed
for a number of years many are married
and perhaps have a family at this point
their lives they have pretty much
everything figured out at least those
are the expectations that I had when I
was growing up but life happens on its
own terms and timelines and there’s
never really a perfect time for anything
in this life there are basically three
things that can happen what we hope will
happen what we fear will happen and then
what actually happens my 40th birthday
was a huge milestone for me as well but
not for the reasons that I mentioned
previously I turned 40 years old broke
divorced bedridden and paralyzed
wondering if I was ever going to be able
to walk or use my hands again in 2012
while preparing to deploy with the US
Army I suffered a severe spinal injury
that left me paralyzed my world had been
turned upside down in an instant I went
from preparing for war on the
battlefield to a war within my own body
and mine now before my injury I had read
stories and seen movies about people who
have been seriously injured before and
while these stories were compelling I
still live my life like so many others
with that oh well that whatever happened
to me kind of attitude the harsh reality
that slapped me in the face was I felt
like I had wasted my life up to that
point at least that’s how it felt when
faced the potential of being bedridden
for the rest of my days there was so
much more that I wanted to accomplish I
had wasted so much time talent and
potential thinking that I would always
have the time talent and potential to do
whatever it was that I wanted to do the
more I thought about it the madder I
become I was beyond angry I was furious
with myself for being so lazy and
short-sighted I thought about all the
other times in my life when I’d asked
lesser of myself because I
ah there’s always tomorrow I’ll just do
it then and for what so I could been
John Netflix so I could catch a nap the
realisation of my injury was sobering
and I felt like a statistic soon my
anger was directed inwards and I went
into a deep depression
these were my darkest days and if I’m
honest I can tell you that I seriously
consider taking my own life but I
couldn’t even commit suicide in my
current state my injury gave me a
tremendous amount of perspective when
you’re bedridden and you can’t move you
have a lot of time to think about your
life for just a moment put yourself in
that place outside of the obvious hopes
of being able to recover and walk again
if you woke up tomorrow paralyzed from
the neck down what would you wish you
would have accomplished with your life
what regrets would you Harbor and if by
some miracle you were able to walk again
how would you begin to live your life
differently I was told that I would
never walk again and that is truly a
brutal reality to have to face I was
left with two options I could either
stay angry and play the victim for the
rest of my life or I could change my
perspective about my injury but that was
much easier said than done after some
soul-searching I was still able to find
some things to be grateful for though
for example if I had suffered this
injury while I was overseas deployed
with the infantry there’s a very good
chance that not only I would have been
killed but I may have got another man
killed as well so honestly I was just
lucky to be alive and for that I was
truly thankful
but the thing that I was the most
grateful for will probably surprise you
what I was most grateful for was the
incredible gift
that my injury gave me the gift of
adversity when I started seeing my
adversity as a gift instead of a curse
something miraculous began to happen
adversity is a natural law and like the
law of gravity
it doesn’t really care about your
opinion when you try to lift something
heavy if you’re not able to lift the
weight hey that’s not adversities
problem adversity is the drill sergeant
yelling in your face the minute you step
off the bus at basic training adversity
is the martial arts instructor who
humbles you whenever you act without
honor respect and discipline adversity
is also the parent who ground you when
they catch you trying to sneak out the
house at midnight or perhaps when they
catch you when you sneak back in and
like all of these examples at the time
adversity seems incredibly harsh and
almost ruthless adversity forces you to
drop everything else you’re doing to
give it your full undivided attention
adversity shows up unannounced at the
most inopportune times without apology
adversity couldn’t care less about what
you want it doesn’t give a damn about
your feelings and adversity doesn’t take
no for an answer frankly it feels like
adversity hates you and it does it
absolutely does hate you but it only
hates a certain part of you what part of
you does it hate the weak part the
physical manifestation of adversity is
an adversary an opponent and though it
may sound counterintuitive an adversary
is often our best teacher think about it
an adversary is probably the most honest
person you will ever encounter they wear
their hate for you openly on their
sleeve it is impossible to misconstrue
their intense and even though they want
to do you harm
at least they’re honest about it
he forces you to up your game and play
at a higher level it never allows you to
coast or do just enough to get by
adversity knows your true potential
even when you do not which is why it
kicks you in the ass when you give a
little bit less than 100% effort the
reality is this adversity offers you no
other choice and when there’s no other
choice
the choice is simple from my injury I
learned that if I could overcome my
current adversity even if only mentally
that I would be better equipped to
handle anything else that adversity had
to throw at me
later on down the line in the end we are
only as strong as the adversity that we
overcome the pain of the adversity will
eventually subside but the lesson will
always remain and that lesson will
strengthen you to endure your next
battle this time stronger and wiser than
before during an interview in 1971
martial arts superstar and cultural icon
Bruce Lee was asked a question he was
asked do you consider yourself to be
Chinese or North American Bruce Lee
simply smiled and said you know how I
want to think of myself as a human being
because under the sky under the heavens
there is but one family no matter what
country you were a citizen of regardless
of age race sex sexual preference or
identification religious belief or
political view every living person wants
three things freedom respect and love we
all want these three things because
whenever we start looking at our
collective similarities instead of our
differences we see that we are indeed as
Bruce Lee said all one family we all
want freedom respect and love because we
are all citizens of the same human race
if you
than the sound of my voice right now
that means that chances are you have
enough clean water to drink and enough
food to eat it probably also means you
have a roof over your head and a place
to sleep at night these facts alone
dictate that you are better off than
three-quarters of the population on the
planet half a million of which are
homeless citizens of the United States
50,000 of those are homeless veterans
but there are those who have gone
through far greater adversity than what
you and I will ever face citizens who
have had their lives and countries torn
apart by war citizens who have been
kidnapped beaten mercilessly and sold
into the modern-day slavery of human
trafficking citizens who have had their
entire families wiped out by genocide
think about that the next time you want
to complain that your lattes not hot
enough
as you can see adversity truly is
relative there are literally hundreds of
thousands of people who would give
anything to have the things that you and
I are taking for granted this very
moment it makes you realize that most of
the problems that we have aren’t even
really problems they’re simply
inconveniences most of the things that
we call pain is merely discomfort it’s
so easy for us to complain about
anything and everything from the weather
to our jobs to our relationships but the
people who complain the most do so
because they don’t actually appreciate
the things that they have so the next
time you catch yourself in this cycle of
complaining about everything stop for a
second and ask yourself an honest
question is what you’re complaining
about really that bad really is it the
worst thing you’ve ever encountered in
your entire life 99% of the time it’s
not
but during that other 1% time when what
you’re facing is the most difficult
thing you’ve ever encountered when
you’re facing genuine adversity and you
said yourself I don’t know if I can do
this in that moment of question be
grateful because it is the question
itself that will force you to evolve
into the person who can overcome this
obstacle and it is your adversity that
will act as the catalyst for this to
occur
Robert Frost wrote famously the best way
out is always through and he’s
absolutely correct how do we overcome
adversity by facing it head-on from my
injury I have learned that if you try to
avoid adversity it can crush you by
trying to go around adversity you may
never be able to circumvent its grasp
by trying to avoid the struggle not only
when you had to face the same adversity
that you would have initially but now
you will be forced to do so already
fatigued from trying to avoid it in the
first place
trying to avoid adversity would be like
trying to avoid the tide while swimming
in the ocean but like the ocean if you
can learn to embrace the tide of
adversity you will eventually learn to
let it lift you up and you can ride the
wave to shore unscathed and in that
moment if you were able take a look
around because the view that you have
after you’ve overcome your adversity is
absolutely breathtaking adversity is a
gift
embrace it thank you so much
[Music]
you
[Music]
a person’s 40th birthday is quite a
milestone this is the birthday that is
seen as the marker of a person’s
achievements a time of reflection most
have a job where they’ve been employed
for a number of years many are married
and perhaps have a family at this point
their lives they have pretty much
everything figured out at least those
are the expectations that I had when I
was growing up but life happens on its
own terms and timelines and there’s
never really a perfect time for anything
in this life there are basically three
things that can happen what we hope will
happen what we fear will happen and then
what actually happens my 40th birthday
was a huge milestone for me as well but
not for the reasons that I mentioned
previously I turned 40 years old broke
divorced bedridden and paralyzed
wondering if I was ever going to be able
to walk or use my hands again in 2012
while preparing to deploy with the US
Army I suffered a severe spinal injury
that left me paralyzed my world had been
turned upside down in an instant I went
from preparing for war on the
battlefield to a war within my own body
and mine now before my injury I had read
stories and seen movies about people who
have been seriously injured before and
while these stories were compelling I
still live my life like so many others
with that oh well that whatever happened
to me kind of attitude the harsh reality
that slapped me in the face was I felt
like I had wasted my life up to that
point at least that’s how it felt when
faced the potential of being bedridden
for the rest of my days there was so
much more that I wanted to accomplish I
had wasted so much time talent and
potential thinking that I would always
have the time talent and potential to do
whatever it was that I wanted to do the
more I thought about it the madder I
become I was beyond angry I was furious
with myself for being so lazy and
short-sighted I thought about all the
other times in my life when I’d asked
lesser of myself because I
ah there’s always tomorrow I’ll just do
it then and for what so I could been
John Netflix so I could catch a nap the
realisation of my injury was sobering
and I felt like a statistic soon my
anger was directed inwards and I went
into a deep depression
these were my darkest days and if I’m
honest I can tell you that I seriously
consider taking my own life but I
couldn’t even commit suicide in my
current state my injury gave me a
tremendous amount of perspective when
you’re bedridden and you can’t move you
have a lot of time to think about your
life for just a moment put yourself in
that place outside of the obvious hopes
of being able to recover and walk again
if you woke up tomorrow paralyzed from
the neck down what would you wish you
would have accomplished with your life
what regrets would you Harbor and if by
some miracle you were able to walk again
how would you begin to live your life
differently I was told that I would
never walk again and that is truly a
brutal reality to have to face I was
left with two options I could either
stay angry and play the victim for the
rest of my life or I could change my
perspective about my injury but that was
much easier said than done after some
soul-searching I was still able to find
some things to be grateful for though
for example if I had suffered this
injury while I was overseas deployed
with the infantry there’s a very good
chance that not only I would have been
killed but I may have got another man
killed as well so honestly I was just
lucky to be alive and for that I was
truly thankful
but the thing that I was the most
grateful for will probably surprise you
what I was most grateful for was the
incredible gift
that my injury gave me the gift of
adversity when I started seeing my
adversity as a gift instead of a curse
something miraculous began to happen
adversity is a natural law and like the
law of gravity
it doesn’t really care about your
opinion when you try to lift something
heavy if you’re not able to lift the
weight hey that’s not adversities
problem adversity is the drill sergeant
yelling in your face the minute you step
off the bus at basic training adversity
is the martial arts instructor who
humbles you whenever you act without
honor respect and discipline adversity
is also the parent who ground you when
they catch you trying to sneak out the
house at midnight or perhaps when they
catch you when you sneak back in and
like all of these examples at the time
adversity seems incredibly harsh and
almost ruthless adversity forces you to
drop everything else you’re doing to
give it your full undivided attention
adversity shows up unannounced at the
most inopportune times without apology
adversity couldn’t care less about what
you want it doesn’t give a damn about
your feelings and adversity doesn’t take
no for an answer frankly it feels like
adversity hates you and it does it
absolutely does hate you but it only
hates a certain part of you what part of
you does it hate the weak part the
physical manifestation of adversity is
an adversary an opponent and though it
may sound counterintuitive an adversary
is often our best teacher think about it
an adversary is probably the most honest
person you will ever encounter they wear
their hate for you openly on their
sleeve it is impossible to misconstrue
their intense and even though they want
to do you harm
at least they’re honest about it
he forces you to up your game and play
at a higher level it never allows you to
coast or do just enough to get by
adversity knows your true potential
even when you do not which is why it
kicks you in the ass when you give a
little bit less than 100% effort the
reality is this adversity offers you no
other choice and when there’s no other
choice
the choice is simple from my injury I
learned that if I could overcome my
current adversity even if only mentally
that I would be better equipped to
handle anything else that adversity had
to throw at me
later on down the line in the end we are
only as strong as the adversity that we
overcome the pain of the adversity will
eventually subside but the lesson will
always remain and that lesson will
strengthen you to endure your next
battle this time stronger and wiser than
before during an interview in 1971
martial arts superstar and cultural icon
Bruce Lee was asked a question he was
asked do you consider yourself to be
Chinese or North American Bruce Lee
simply smiled and said you know how I
want to think of myself as a human being
because under the sky under the heavens
there is but one family no matter what
country you were a citizen of regardless
of age race sex sexual preference or
identification religious belief or
political view every living person wants
three things freedom respect and love we
all want these three things because
whenever we start looking at our
collective similarities instead of our
differences we see that we are indeed as
Bruce Lee said all one family we all
want freedom respect and love because we
are all citizens of the same human race
if you
than the sound of my voice right now
that means that chances are you have
enough clean water to drink and enough
food to eat it probably also means you
have a roof over your head and a place
to sleep at night these facts alone
dictate that you are better off than
three-quarters of the population on the
planet half a million of which are
homeless citizens of the United States
50,000 of those are homeless veterans
but there are those who have gone
through far greater adversity than what
you and I will ever face citizens who
have had their lives and countries torn
apart by war citizens who have been
kidnapped beaten mercilessly and sold
into the modern-day slavery of human
trafficking citizens who have had their
entire families wiped out by genocide
think about that the next time you want
to complain that your lattes not hot
enough
as you can see adversity truly is
relative there are literally hundreds of
thousands of people who would give
anything to have the things that you and
I are taking for granted this very
moment it makes you realize that most of
the problems that we have aren’t even
really problems they’re simply
inconveniences most of the things that
we call pain is merely discomfort it’s
so easy for us to complain about
anything and everything from the weather
to our jobs to our relationships but the
people who complain the most do so
because they don’t actually appreciate
the things that they have so the next
time you catch yourself in this cycle of
complaining about everything stop for a
second and ask yourself an honest
question is what you’re complaining
about really that bad really is it the
worst thing you’ve ever encountered in
your entire life 99% of the time it’s
not
but during that other 1% time when what
you’re facing is the most difficult
thing you’ve ever encountered when
you’re facing genuine adversity and you
said yourself I don’t know if I can do
this in that moment of question be
grateful because it is the question
itself that will force you to evolve
into the person who can overcome this
obstacle and it is your adversity that
will act as the catalyst for this to
occur
Robert Frost wrote famously the best way
out is always through and he’s
absolutely correct how do we overcome
adversity by facing it head-on from my
injury I have learned that if you try to
avoid adversity it can crush you by
trying to go around adversity you may
never be able to circumvent its grasp
by trying to avoid the struggle not only
when you had to face the same adversity
that you would have initially but now
you will be forced to do so already
fatigued from trying to avoid it in the
first place
trying to avoid adversity would be like
trying to avoid the tide while swimming
in the ocean but like the ocean if you
can learn to embrace the tide of
adversity you will eventually learn to
let it lift you up and you can ride the
wave to shore unscathed and in that
moment if you were able take a look
around because the view that you have
after you’ve overcome your adversity is
absolutely breathtaking adversity is a
gift
embrace it thank you so much
[Music]
you
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