how can I be more inclusive Jackie well
that’s a question I get asked a lot now
maybe it’s because of the work I do
helping organizations recruit and
develop their staff or or maybe it’s
because I’m remembered as been a
middle-aged female lesbian from
Birmingham I don’t know but yeah
diversity and inclusion is a hot topic
right now isn’t it and and I understand
that more than many I’m 45 which means I
grew up in the 70s and 80s a time when I
guess exclusion was really the only
normal women heavily objectified gays
and lesbians unfairly stereotyped black
and ethnic minority groups ridiculed on
our TV screens and if you were suffering
from a physical or mental illness back
then you were probably largely
misunderstood and yet I believe that the
key to the Future lies in the past
because surely if we’re gonna work
together towards a future where we learn
to include we must first unravel the way
in which we learnt to exclude here’s my
thoughts so think about how you learnt
your first word by looking around it’s
probably a while ago for some of you but
think back I would imagine you probably
had a parent or a caregiver repeating
words over and over like mama or Dada da
over and over again right until one day
one of those people got lucky and you
copied their name because that’s how it
works that’s how we learn language from
words that we hear every day it’s how we
learn behaviors from the actions and
behaviors of others that we see every
day and I’ve often wondered which parent
or caregiver taught my five-year-old
playmates
terms like bankai and Bible basher you
ever use words like that growing up
maybe you don’t care too
but if you did I’m sure you wouldn’t
remember who taught you or when it
happened but these were labels I was
given you see at five years old my left
eye turned inwards so I looked a little
different to the other kids for a while
and at that same time in my life it
transpired that I was the only kid going
off to the Catholic school just because
my parents had different beliefs to
their parents so I was called these
names down the street labels that
thankfully didn’t define me as a person
but they caused me to feel this real
wondered years later which parent or
caregiver taught some of my now 15 year
old classmates terms like laser dyke
jiff lesbo never use words like that
growing up that these were labels I was
given simply because I was different you
see it 15 turns out I wasn’t like the
other girls in my class and I didn’t
like boys that way and I bet if you did
use those terms you wouldn’t remember
who taught you or when it happened and
thankfully these were labels that did
not define me as a person but they again
caused me leave feeling this deep sense
of isolation exclusion and hurt and yet
I was one of the lucky ones I made it
through
many back then and now don’t did you
know that if you identify in one or more
minority group you are twice as likely
to self-harm than if you don’t statistic
tell us that one in four people
identifying in one or more minority
group have considered or worse attempted
suicide this can’t go on
right when we think back to the past we
have wonderful people like Abraham
Maslow who taught us that we all have an
innate need to feel safe to feel like we
belong and to feel like our contribution
to the world matters and maybe that’s
what was missing for me a little while
back then but I did make it through so
this wonderful corporate world of
yay I see employers that have caveats on
the bottom of their job adverts saying
we welcome applications from XYZ
minority group yes some of them even
have within them dedicated LGBTQ
community support groups black and
ethnic minority mentor schemes hell even
advancing women in leadership programs
and I say fantastic these are great
steps in diversity but do not confuse it
with inclusion because I believe the
saying goes something like diversity is
inviting different people to your party
and inclusion teaches those people to
dance together so when people ask me how
can I be more inclusive Jackie I say to
them promote a world free from isolation
ask yourself Who am I inviting to my
party in my home and in my workplace
what steps do I take to help them dance
together
if you’ve read To Kill a Mockingbird
you’ll remember that Atticus Finch tells
us do not try to understand a man until
you have truly gotten under his skin and
walked around a bit did you ever really
take the time to step into the shoes of
somebody from a different social group
to your own even for a short while and
if you have not then please don’t try to
understand understand those people ask
when people ask me how can I be more
inclusive Jackie I say promote a world
free from hurt be mindful of the
language that we use in our homes with
the next generation and in our workplace
with our current generation remember we
copy
what we see every day now not term I’m
not proud to tell you this but hey I’m
here now
but I had a situation when I was 16 and
I hit a boy in school square on the job
it was completely out of character and
nothing like that had happened before or
since but you know that day the jibes
the sneers the mockery it just got too
much and I flicked actually I call it
the day homophobia met PMT I lost but
you know jokes aside that’s a hole over
the tattoo but jokes aside did you
really ever take the time to notice if
people in your networks whether in your
private lives or in your corporate
worlds or acting out of character and if
you did take the time to observe which I
guess is step one
did you ever reflect upon what language
did I use or what behaviors did I
exhibit that just might in some small
way have contributed to how that person
is also behaving or how they are feeling
what more can you do and when people ask
me how can I be more inclusive Jackie I
say promote a world free from negative
labels labels that just serve to
highlight different segregate and divide
us my comedy hero the late great
Victoria Wood she was discussing how she
makes her life more interesting in one
of her famous dinnerladies sketches and
she says I’ll tell you what I do I take
the labels off my tunes so don’t know
what loving for me too
now I can’t begin to do her comedy or
that accent justice but isn’t that a
great metaphor for inclusion
what labels have you used today when was
the last time you heard somebody else
use a label that was unkind and you
failed to challenge that what difference
might it make to your world and your
businesses if just for one day you could
take the labels off your art ins what
more can you do now Abraham Maslow he
spoke some good sense we want to feel
safe we want to belong we want to feel
like our contribution matters and by the
way there was no exception if you’re
black or if you’re gay right and you
know thinking about feeling safe it’s
taken me a long time to share this story
quite so candidly so I thank you in the
room for allowing me to feel safe to do
so I look around this room and I see so
many different diverse faces and people
and backgrounds and and I feel like you
know I do belong and I truly hope that
my contribution here today matters to
you because in business we’re so often
taught think outside of the box you want
an award-winning strategy you want to
smash your competition think outside of
the box but I urge you when it comes to
inclusion think inside the box because
it’s within the small steps that we can
all take responsibility for that can
truly make a difference and how will I
know that we’ve really reached a society
of inclusion well when a woman like me
is no longer remembered for being a
middle aged female lesbian from
Birmingham but is actually remembered
for the one and only label that ever
defined me and that’s my name
and as we all know every journey begins with just one step you come with me
that’s a question I get asked a lot now
maybe it’s because of the work I do
helping organizations recruit and
develop their staff or or maybe it’s
because I’m remembered as been a
middle-aged female lesbian from
Birmingham I don’t know but yeah
diversity and inclusion is a hot topic
right now isn’t it and and I understand
that more than many I’m 45 which means I
grew up in the 70s and 80s a time when I
guess exclusion was really the only
normal women heavily objectified gays
and lesbians unfairly stereotyped black
and ethnic minority groups ridiculed on
our TV screens and if you were suffering
from a physical or mental illness back
then you were probably largely
misunderstood and yet I believe that the
key to the Future lies in the past
because surely if we’re gonna work
together towards a future where we learn
to include we must first unravel the way
in which we learnt to exclude here’s my
thoughts so think about how you learnt
your first word by looking around it’s
probably a while ago for some of you but
think back I would imagine you probably
had a parent or a caregiver repeating
words over and over like mama or Dada da
over and over again right until one day
one of those people got lucky and you
copied their name because that’s how it
works that’s how we learn language from
words that we hear every day it’s how we
learn behaviors from the actions and
behaviors of others that we see every
day and I’ve often wondered which parent
or caregiver taught my five-year-old
playmates
terms like bankai and Bible basher you
ever use words like that growing up
maybe you don’t care too
but if you did I’m sure you wouldn’t
remember who taught you or when it
happened but these were labels I was
given you see at five years old my left
eye turned inwards so I looked a little
different to the other kids for a while
and at that same time in my life it
transpired that I was the only kid going
off to the Catholic school just because
my parents had different beliefs to
their parents so I was called these
names down the street labels that
thankfully didn’t define me as a person
but they caused me to feel this real
wondered years later which parent or
caregiver taught some of my now 15 year
old classmates terms like laser dyke
jiff lesbo never use words like that
growing up that these were labels I was
given simply because I was different you
see it 15 turns out I wasn’t like the
other girls in my class and I didn’t
like boys that way and I bet if you did
use those terms you wouldn’t remember
who taught you or when it happened and
thankfully these were labels that did
not define me as a person but they again
caused me leave feeling this deep sense
of isolation exclusion and hurt and yet
I was one of the lucky ones I made it
through
many back then and now don’t did you
know that if you identify in one or more
minority group you are twice as likely
to self-harm than if you don’t statistic
tell us that one in four people
identifying in one or more minority
group have considered or worse attempted
suicide this can’t go on
right when we think back to the past we
have wonderful people like Abraham
Maslow who taught us that we all have an
innate need to feel safe to feel like we
belong and to feel like our contribution
to the world matters and maybe that’s
what was missing for me a little while
back then but I did make it through so
this wonderful corporate world of
yay I see employers that have caveats on
the bottom of their job adverts saying
we welcome applications from XYZ
minority group yes some of them even
have within them dedicated LGBTQ
community support groups black and
ethnic minority mentor schemes hell even
advancing women in leadership programs
and I say fantastic these are great
steps in diversity but do not confuse it
with inclusion because I believe the
saying goes something like diversity is
inviting different people to your party
and inclusion teaches those people to
dance together so when people ask me how
can I be more inclusive Jackie I say to
them promote a world free from isolation
ask yourself Who am I inviting to my
party in my home and in my workplace
what steps do I take to help them dance
together
if you’ve read To Kill a Mockingbird
you’ll remember that Atticus Finch tells
us do not try to understand a man until
you have truly gotten under his skin and
walked around a bit did you ever really
take the time to step into the shoes of
somebody from a different social group
to your own even for a short while and
if you have not then please don’t try to
understand understand those people ask
when people ask me how can I be more
inclusive Jackie I say promote a world
free from hurt be mindful of the
language that we use in our homes with
the next generation and in our workplace
with our current generation remember we
copy
what we see every day now not term I’m
not proud to tell you this but hey I’m
here now
but I had a situation when I was 16 and
I hit a boy in school square on the job
it was completely out of character and
nothing like that had happened before or
since but you know that day the jibes
the sneers the mockery it just got too
much and I flicked actually I call it
the day homophobia met PMT I lost but
you know jokes aside that’s a hole over
the tattoo but jokes aside did you
really ever take the time to notice if
people in your networks whether in your
private lives or in your corporate
worlds or acting out of character and if
you did take the time to observe which I
guess is step one
did you ever reflect upon what language
did I use or what behaviors did I
exhibit that just might in some small
way have contributed to how that person
is also behaving or how they are feeling
what more can you do and when people ask
me how can I be more inclusive Jackie I
say promote a world free from negative
labels labels that just serve to
highlight different segregate and divide
us my comedy hero the late great
Victoria Wood she was discussing how she
makes her life more interesting in one
of her famous dinnerladies sketches and
she says I’ll tell you what I do I take
the labels off my tunes so don’t know
what loving for me too
now I can’t begin to do her comedy or
that accent justice but isn’t that a
great metaphor for inclusion
what labels have you used today when was
the last time you heard somebody else
use a label that was unkind and you
failed to challenge that what difference
might it make to your world and your
businesses if just for one day you could
take the labels off your art ins what
more can you do now Abraham Maslow he
spoke some good sense we want to feel
safe we want to belong we want to feel
like our contribution matters and by the
way there was no exception if you’re
black or if you’re gay right and you
know thinking about feeling safe it’s
taken me a long time to share this story
quite so candidly so I thank you in the
room for allowing me to feel safe to do
so I look around this room and I see so
many different diverse faces and people
and backgrounds and and I feel like you
know I do belong and I truly hope that
my contribution here today matters to
you because in business we’re so often
taught think outside of the box you want
an award-winning strategy you want to
smash your competition think outside of
the box but I urge you when it comes to
inclusion think inside the box because
it’s within the small steps that we can
all take responsibility for that can
truly make a difference and how will I
know that we’ve really reached a society
of inclusion well when a woman like me
is no longer remembered for being a
middle aged female lesbian from
Birmingham but is actually remembered
for the one and only label that ever
defined me and that’s my name
and as we all know every journey begins with just one step you come with me
Please follow and like us: